A Pen or a Sword?
by Bar-Ohki
Summary: It dawns on Mustang that Edward is a catalyst for change. And now, like everything else, he’s going to make use of this ability…. Chapter 41: In which Roy and Archer get 'talks'....
1. A Present From Home

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: I'm borrowing characters, ideas, and settings from Fullmetal Alchemist. They are not mine.

Claimer: I own Jaxith Howard Skibbereen and the rest of his family save his Great Uncle.

Summary: It dawns on Mustang that Edward is a catalyst for change. And now, like everything else, he's going to make use of this ability….

Rating: T for violence, swearing, homosexuality, and crude comments.

Warnings: One of the characters in this story is homosexual, there is _not_ any yoai, nor shonen-ai.

Other Stuff: Random fact: Skibbereen is the name of a town on the Southern tip of Ireland. Couldn't tell you how it is supposed to be pronounced. This story is about family love, pride, and history. It is about expectations, both reasonable and unreasonable. And most importantly it is about discovering one's place and calling in the world. This tale will not focus on the characters I am borrowing from FMA, its more about a few of my OCs living in their world with the FMA crew. This story is animebaised. And now to the part y'all care about:

Chapter 1: A Present From Home

Sergeant J. W. Charles was not having a good day. He was a tall man, decently built, fairly strong. He was not overly handsome, but not ugly either. Average intelligence and polite, he thought life was going well and didn't care whether or not he got promoted or married. Charles had a buzzed head of brown hair and plain grey eyes. His face was clean-shaven and his skin was tan from all the hours he spend outside.

And why did he spend many hours outdoors? Why was he having a bad day? Very simple his job is to deliver important military packages, anywhere, anytime, snow or shine. Contrary to belief, it happened to be a bright spring day, not too warm or too cold. There was a light breeze and the smell of freshly made doughnuts in the air. The real reason today was not a good day to be Sergeant Charles was too particularly large boxes that weighed about 50 kg each (110 lbs). These boxes where to go up three flights of stairs as the elevators were currently out of order. The real problem for the Sergeant was that he had no one to help him with this task.

_What the hell is so important in these damn boxes anyways!?_ He growled as he glared at them. The Sergeant really wanted to kick one of the boxes, but decided better as he would be in a lot more trouble if he broke something that wasn't himself. He glared at the labels on the boxes. 'To the office of Col. R. Mustang, 4th floor, left wing' they read.

"Whaccha doin' there mister?" The voice of a child rang in Sgt. Charles' ears. He looked up to see a young boy with long blond hair and golden eyes. He had tied his hair back in a braid, which contrasted his red coat nicely. The rest of the boy was clad in black. He stood joyfully on the heels of his boots with his hands in his pockets. The child was sincerely curious in the Sergeant's misery.

"I'm trying to figure out a way to not break myself." Sgt. Charles let out a long sigh. The boy looked at him, the statement having puzzled him. Sgt. Charles sat down on the grass beside the boxes and looked the kid over.

"What are you doing here at Central Headquarters for?" Sgt. Charles was greatly puzzled why a young boy would have any business at a military institution. "Are you looking for someone?"

"No." The boy answered quickly. "I'm here to put in my report." He sighed, then muttered something menacing under his breath.

"Report?" Sgt. Charles stared at the boy for a minute. Then an explanation dawned on him. "Oh you must be the Fullmetal Alchemist!"

"Yup!" The boy smiled brightly. "Major Edward Elric at your service, sir!"

_He's certainly a cheerful fellow!_ The Sergeant observed. _Hey, isn't he under Mustang's command?_

"Say, aren't you under the command of Colonel Mustang?" Sgt. Charles asked. The alchemist scowled and began glaring at the ground.

"Yes." He hissed. Sgt. Charles grew a little nervous.

"Well-"

" 'Well' _what?!"_ Edward snapped, looking grumpy.

"Could you help me?" Sgt. Charles asked in a meek voice. Edward suddenly stopped being angry and was again, curious.

"With what?"

"Moving these boxes. You see I have to deliver them to your commanding officer, but all the dogs around here are too lazy to help." Sgt. Charles explained with a sigh. Edward snorted.

"What a bunch of pricks!" He scoffed the other men lazing about. "Sure thing- uh…."

"Sergeant Charles." The sergeant injected. "And thank you so much Major Elric."

**-four flights of stairs and two boxes later-**

"I hope that bastard's going to be grateful for this!" Edward grunted as he held both boxes up with one arm and opened the door with the other. Sgt. Charles struggled to balance the other end of both boxes. With a satisfying click the door to Col. Mustang's office swung open and in walked the boxes and their carriers.

"Hey chief- what's with the boxes?" A blond man asked, managing to hold his cigarette in his mouth while talking and gapping at the size of the boxes.

"Woah! Ed do you need a hand!?" At his words another man in the room jumped to his feet. He was a large man, with red hair and brown eyes.(1)

"Yes please!" Called Sgt. Charles from the hall.

"Havoc help Breda with whatever is going on over there!" Shouted a commanding male voice from the private office in the back of the room. "That's an order!" It added before Havoc could protest. Immediately the smoking man snuffed his cigarette and rushed to help Breda, Edward, and Sgt. Charles carry in the boxes.

"Uhh…" Havoc began, "where do these go?" Suddenly all four people stopped and stood around looking dumb.

"I thought you would know?" Sgt. Charles put forth hopefully.

"Where's it say they go?" Edward called from the side of the boxes, being too short to see the top.

"Aww, lit-" Breda began to tease.

"You realize the chief can just drop these on your foot?" Havoc injected to avoid disaster. He wouldn't put it past the irritable alchemist to drop the boxes on Breda's feet and manage to break everything inside them.

"Well! What's it say!?" Ed growled, growing impatient.

" 'To the office of Col. R. Mustang, 4th floor, left wing'." Sgt. Charles read aloud.

"Hey Colonel!" Havoc called, startling the Sergeant. "Open your door will ya!?" There was a grunt and the far office door opened. A handsome man stood in the door way, with piercing onyx eyes and a mat of jet black hair. He took in the sight of two huge boxes being held up by four men.

"How the hell did you manage to get those up the stairs?" He asked, awed.

"With sheer strength!" Edward chipped, looking smug. The Colonel felt a twang of pity in his heart for whoever helped the boy haul those boxes up the stairs.

"Just set them by the wall in my office." The Colonel said quickly, getting himself out of the way. Soon the boxes were laid down and Sgt. Charles let out a sigh of relief.

"Please sign here for these Colonel Mustang sir." Sgt. Charles produced a small clipboard with a few forms on it. Mustang glanced over it and signed.

"Sergeant, where are these from? I was not expecting any packages." Mustang inquired.

"Western Headquarters." Sgt. Charles answered quickly. Mustang's eyes grew wide as dinner plates.

"Oh." Mustang stared at the boxes nervously while his subordinates crowded around anxiously awaiting their opening. "Thank you Sergeant, you may leave."

With his dismissal, Sgt. Charles saluted and made haste in his exit.

"What's so special about Western Headquarters?" Edward asked, not quiet understanding why the boxes had become an object of worry.

"My family's from the West…." Mustang remarked meekly. Everyone went quiet.

"You mean hick-ville?" Breda daringly whispered.

"…Yes…." Mustang shuddered as he tried to suppress some unwanted memories.

"Do you think its another dead possum?" Havoc asked. All eyes turned on him, horrified.

"…." Mustang made no move to respond.

"What's this about a 'dead possum'?" A female voice inquired from the hall. A woman walked in while she re-clipped her hair into a tight bun. She had amber eyes and looked most serious. Two men followed her in, each carrying a stack of paperwork. One was extremely tall and thin, with grey hair and eyes that seemed to be permanently shut. The other man was shorter, with spiky black hair, block glasses and kind grey eyes.

"Lieutenant I thought we were not to recount the 'Dead Possum Incident' ever, especially if Edward's around…."(2) The man with the glasses reminded the woman quietly.

"Sir?" The woman saluted her Colonel, a little confused.

"I have reason to believe that my Mummy has sent me 'presents' again." Mustang informed the woman.

" 'Again?' " Edward was curious and confused. _What could have happened?_ He asked himself.

"Why do you believe that sir?" The grey haired man asked.

"My birthday was last week." Mustang explained quickly. "Fuery! Falman! Put those papers down!"

"Sir!" They chorused and dashed about the office setting down papers where they needed to go. The brunt of them wound up on Mustang's desk.

"Hawkeye, find me a boxer cutter." Mustang addressed the woman. She walked over and pulled one out of her back pocket.

"Sir!" She saluted him after the object left her hand. Mustang bent over the boxes and started sweating profusely. He looked like he was about to disarm a dangerous explosive.

"What happened with the possum?" Edward asked suddenly, making Mustang flinch and stab the cardboard with his box cutter. He pulled his hand away, as if it were on fire then poked the box timidly with his foot.

"His mother sent him a dead possum as a 'housewarming gift' when she heard that he had been promoted to Lieutenant Colonel. He's never lived it down." Hawkeye explained quickly.

"Oh." Edward said simply. "Do you want me to open it?" Edward gave his Colonel a flat look. "Because you're over-reacting."

"Actually, he's being rather controlled this time…." Fuery observed. Edward stared at him stunned.

_Sh-riiiip!_ Mustang cut the box open. He then grabbed the lid and yanked it open with a lot of force and a loud grunt. Everyone was a little startled by the sudden change of behavior. Mustang quickly lifted an envelope off the top of the contents and left his subordinates to look. Havoc reached inside and pulled out a few round tins. They were remarkably heavy, he opened one.

"Fruitcake?" Havoc raised an eyebrow. Hawkeye reached inside and pulled out a several armfuls of small rectangular boxes. She examined the outsides quickly.

"Shot gun ammunition?" She raised an eyebrow as well. "Sir, do you _even_ own a shot gun?"

"My boomstick?" Roy asked from his letter. There was an awkward pause. "It's under my desk."

Fuery nervously retrieved the shot gun from under the desk. It was a double barrel shot gun and looked well cared for. Hawkeye set the ammunition down and took the gun and began to examine it. Breda took his turn and reached down and pulled up a baby blue knit sweater. It read 'Mummy's boy' on the front in red letters. Edward had to choke down a laugh.

"Sir, is she going to expect you to wear this around here?" Breda paled at the thought.

"Every time it snows." Mustang grinned when his subordinates stared in horror. "Under my jacket of course." He added quickly and returned to his letter.

Falman stuck his hand in and pulled out a book titled 'A Brief History of the National Alchemists'.(3) He opened the cover to see a little note. 'With love, your sissy Jane.' the note said. Falman shrugged, having found his gift the least strange. Fuery groped around trying to find something, quickly discovering that the first box was empty.

"Sir, can I open your other box?" Fuery asked.

"Eh? Sure." With that Fuey quickly cut into the box. He was about to open it when Havoc started talking again.

"Holy shit! These things are all full of fruitcake!" Havoc was stunned. "Heavy little bastards too!"

**"WHO YOU CALLING SO TINY HE'D GET LOST IN ONE OF THOSE TINS!?"** Edward bellowed as he quickly grabbed Havoc up by his collar. It was then everyone realized Edward's brother, Alphonse, was nowhere to be seen. And of course not present to prevent his brother from roughing up someone for saying anything that might hint at his height.

"The tin?" Havoc supplied hopefully.

"Oh." Edward dropped the man and became distracted with Fuery's opening of the next box. He looked at the Master Segreant expectantly. Fuery quickly opened the box.

"Steel toed boots…." Fuery held up the pair of heavy duty work boots. "And two books on how to take care of them!?" He pulled out as he said this. He quickly regretted having done that as the books were _heavy._ Edward took his turn and pulled up what appeared to be a giant candy. He unwrapped it and condoms fell out onto the floor. Mustang had chosen at this moment to look up.

The door opened.

"Fullmetal!" The Fuhrer gasped from the entryway. He was an elderly tanned man, with an eye patch and slicked back hair. "Are you planning on having a sex party!?"

Edward blushed, threw the package up in the air as if it was an explosive and quickly backed away from it. This of course sent the remaining condoms raining on everyone else.

"No sir, he just thinks they are confetti." Mustang retorted sarcastically. "They're mine sir."

"Mustang, I know that you're a bit of a playboy, but isn't this a little much?" The Fuhrer asked.

"Those are from my father." Mustang explained. "He sent them to me for my birthday as a bit of a joke. 'I dun want no grandchil'en you hear boy!?' It says so right here." He handed the Fuhrer his letter.

"Oh that's right your family is from the West." The Fuhrer blushed in embarassement for forgetting. "Well, just don't use them all in one place Colonel. I will return when your office is less," he paused trying to find the right word, "horny."

Fuery let out a breath of relief when the Fuhrer left.

"You realize that was the Fuhrer just now sir?" Falman asked his Colonel.

"Yes." Mustang grunted. "Fullmetal pick up these condoms please, I intend to donate them to the hospital later." Edward, still red with embarrassment began to pick up the condoms.

"So what are these 'condoms' for?" Edward asked. Mustang sighed and grabbed two from the top of his head and pocketed them.

"I'll show you later." He assured the boy. "Anyways, my family sent me these birthday presents."(4)

"Birthday?" Breda was confused. "Oh wait! That's right your birthday was last week!"

"How old are you now?" Edward asked as he came back with most of the condoms. Hawkeye sighed, knowing they'd still be finding condoms around the office for the next month. And knowing the luck of this group, at the most inopportune times.

"I just turned 30." Mustang casually remarked.

"Wow, now you're _really_ old." Edward noted. Mustang jumped up, grabbed his shot gun, took a proper firing stance and pointed the barrels at Ed's head.

"Who you callin' _old_, son!?" Mustang bellowed, a western drawl taking over his voice.(5)

"The Fuhrer?" Edward squeaked, more afraid of Mustang's behavior rather than the fact he had a shot gun to his head.

"Damn straight and don't you _dare_ forget that son!" Mustang gave Hawkeye back the rife and sat back down as if nothing happened. He paused and smacked his head and sighed loudly.

"Master Sergeant, please put that thing back where you found it before I shoot something…." Fuery enthusiastically rushed over and complied.

"Sir, permission to speak freely?" Havoc asked.

"Granted."

"Is that the reason why they don't authorize you to carry a gun?"

"Yes." Mustang glanced over his letter again. "I have a phone call to make. Get out." He stood up and glared at his subordinates. They rushed out of the room. Mustang sighed and sat down at his desk and dialed his mother's number.

"Mummy?" He asked.

"Roy? That you son?" A kind sounded, western accented voiced asked.

"Hello Mummy. What's this you wrote here about Victoria's grandson?" He asked seriously.

"I don't know what it is with that boy's mother! She hasn't made much of a man of her son!" Mustang's mother snapped and ranted.

"Mummy, why don't you send him here?" Roy asked her. "I can make a man of him, I'm sure." _Or I can figure out what his problem is and save him from y'all crazy folk over there._ He added mentally.

"…." She took a breath. "One moment."

Mustang sighed and waited two minutes. He heard the phone get picked up. A timid, younger voice spoke over the line.

"G-great Uncle R-roy?" The boy stuttered.

"Yes Jaxith?" Roy asked softly.

"I-is it-t tr-rue? Do-do I r-really get to see you?" Slowly Jaxith gained some more confidence.

"Yes, you're going to be staying with me." Roy explained, sounding kind and caring. "You're mummy is going to enroll you at school here. Don't worry, Central has the finest academies."

"Will I get to see the Fullmetal Alchemist?" Jaxith sounded excited. To him Fullmetal was a bedtime story hero, while Roy was a real true hero.

"Yes, he's one of my subordinates. I'm sure he'd love to meet you." Mustang assured him as he eyed the golden eyed boy in the other room.

"Will I get to draw pictures?" Jaxith inquired seriously.

"You could study art if you wanted." Roy was confused by the question. He recalled that his great-nephew had been interested in the fine arts the last time he saw him.

"I'll see you at the train station then!" Jaxith cried with glee.

"Of course!"

1- Is that the correct color of Breda's eyes?

2- Roy's Mummy had sent him a dead possum as a congratulations-on-becoming-a-colonel gift. Of course Mustang had made the mistake of opening the box in the cafeteria for all of Eastern Headquarters to see. Soon there as a small panic and riot due to the presence of the dead road kill.

3-A Brief History of the National Alchemists is about State Alchemists and their history in national politics, war, and scientific advancement. It also has little biographies of each State Alchemist up to date and their specific achievements. Because of when this book was published, the only thing written in Edward's entry was that he was 12 years old and passed.

4- Roy, being the smart man he is, has realized that Edward needs some basic sex education. Unless you want me to, I will not cover that awkward moment in this story.

5- The western part of the country is like the southern part of the United States. There is a unique accent and culture associated with that part of the country.

For the record, I have family down south and they are all intelligent hicks. Like one moment they are talking physics with you then they turn around and grab a shot gun and shoot some possum across the street. Go figure. And everywhere you go there are hicks to be found. Trust me. Anyways, tell me what you think and review.


	2. This is all Fullmetal's Fault

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: All I own is my imagination. Not FMA. I do own Roy's extended family.

Recap: Roy's family sends him some remarkable birthday presents. Then he calls his mother….

Other Stuff: In this chapter the story will pick up some momentum. And actually fit the summary I gave it a great deal better. Thank you reviewers!

Previously:

_"I'll see you at the train station then!"__ Jaxith cried with glee._

_"Of course!"_

Chapter 2: This is all Fullmetal's Fault

Roy Mustang set the receiver down gently. In the back of his mind Roy remembered getting a lecture from Hawkeye, Fuery, and the little guy from the distributor telling him that this was his _last_ replacement phone for that year. He was supposed to treat it nicely, and nice did it get treated. This was mainly because Hughes wasn't alive anymore to piss Roy off enough to slam the phone down in the first place.

It was when the phone clicked that Roy realized something. He had done something on impulse.

_Oh shit._ Roy mentally kicked himself. _Now I have to deal with my niece-in-law…._ He groaned. _And you don't have anywhere for the boy to stay! You are an idiot Mustang!_

Suddenly bashing one's head into the wall repetitively looked particularly appealing.

_Wait! There must be an explanation for this! I _never_ act on impulse! _ Roy paused and considered causes. _Fullmetal! That's it! The boy's reckless behavior has been wearing off on me…._ A small smirk spread on Roy's lips._ Of course he's got to _pay_ for that! _

Roy stood up quickly and opened his office door.

"Fullmetal!" He snapped.

"What!?" Ed snapped back at him. The young alchemist looked annoyed. Probably because he was having what appeared to be an important conversation with Fuery. Considering Fuery's intelligence, Roy guessed the conversation was about something important. Or at least intelligent.

"I need you to go down to the train station and pick up arrival times for Train # 4506 from Clayston to Central." Roy smiled.

"What the hell?" Edward couldn't help but to say. To everyone else it seemed way to random a request.

"Actually, that's an order." Mustang corrected himself, still smirking.

"Why the hell should I do it, you smirking bastard!?" Ed roared, his ears red with anger.

"Because Fullmetal," Roy began softly and sincerely, "this whole mess is your fault."

**-break-**

"Al, do me a favor and remind me again why I'm here?" Ed moaned. He was sitting on a bench at the station waiting for Roy's great-nephew, niece-in-law, sister, and mother to arrive.

"Because the Colonel said that you'd make his great-nephew feel more comfortable." Al explained.

"Surely, that's not all I agreed on…." Ed muttered.

"And something about not mentioning to his superiors what _exactly_ happened to the room we borrowed from Lab 2." Al added quickly. Ed sighed in defeat.

"That damn manipulating bastard…." Ed muttered. Foot steps approached.

"Fullmetal, I know you don't want to be here right now," Roy began carefully, "but I took a leaf from your book."

"My book?" Ed cocked his head in curiosity.

"Yeah, I made a promise that I intended to follow through on no matter what." Roy continued. "There's some conflict back home revolving around my great-nephew, Jaxith. I decided it'd probably be best if he was removed from the situation so that everyone would cool off first. But he asked me if he could meet the Fullmetal Alchemist…." Roy trailed off.

"And you didn't say 'no'." Ed snorted.

"I couldn't, the boy had enough hell back home. I didn't want him to think that he wouldn't be welcome nor comfortable here. So I said yes." Roy eyed Edward. The alchemist was twirling his thumbs. "It was also a statement to his mother too. As much as I hate that woman, I need her 'blessing' if this is to go over well. She would refuse to let her son stay here if she didn't think that he wasn't surrounded by safe, well-bread individuals-"

" 'Safe and well-bread'!?" Ed leaped to his feat. "What kind of shit is that?"

"Her ideal person." Roy answered flatly. "As long as you are polite she'll think you qualify." Ed snorted again. "So Fullmetal, what can I give you to make sure that you give her that impression?"

Edward just stared at the Colonel, stunned. "What!?" He sputtered.

"Simple Fullmetal, equivalent exchange. I need you to be polite and angelic so that my family thinks highly of you. What can I give you to get that?" Roy sat down on the bench, looking very tried.

"I don't know." Edward said after a while. He was frustrated, the one time he could finally get the Colonel to do whatever he wanted and suddenly nothing came to mind.

"How's about I owe you a favor of any size and shape payable whenever my folks aren't around?" Roy suggested, trying to save himself.

"And you hook Havoc up with a nice girl." Ed added. "Since you're always stealing his, its time you did him a favor."

"Deal." Roy held out his hand to shake.

"Thank you for doing business, Colonel Mustang." Edward smiled in a sickeningly sweet fashion, shaking Roy's hand painfully slow. Roy felt himself questioning his religious affinity: atheism. Why? Praying to someone would make him feel a lot more comfortable about the situation. A gut feeling filled Roy with dread, as if he had just made a deal with the devil himself. He probably had, Ed was evil enough to be considered a devil at times.

"So Colonel, how exactly did you come by having a great-nephew at such a young age?" Alphonse asked sincerely. It had been bothering him that someone as young as Roy Mustang had a great-nephew.

"Oh!" Roy's eyebrows went up as he was caught a little off-guard. He then laughed. "You see Alphonse, I'm the youngest of nine children. My eldest sister, Cindy Lynn, is 21 years older than me. She had a kid when she was 15, and that kid had my great-nephew." Roy explained casually.

"15!?" Ed gasped.

"She was our age!?" Alphonse was equally stunned. Roy looked to the side.

"She got rapped by some weirdo and kept the baby." Roy explained quietly.

"Oh!" Both boys found themselves extremely embarrassed.

"Anyways she had my nephew, Atticus, who in turn married the wench that is my niece-in-law and had Jaxith." Roy finished. "Jaxith is 14." Roy added that after thought.

"Wait, so you have a nephew that's 5 years older than you?" Ed was counting off on his fingers.

"Yes, and he's closer to me than some of my actual sisters." Roy chuckled.

" 'Sisters?' " Al asked, puzzled.

"I'm the only son my mother had." Roy sighed. "The only reason I'm such a successful ladies' man is because I grew up with eight sisters. And they gave me all sorts of dating tips."

_Wow! I never realized the Colonel had such a big family._ Ed was a little stunned. Though having grown up in a small country town himself, he had plenty of exposure to large families with insane amounts of children.

"You're not asking me how the hell I have such a big family?" Roy was honestly stunned.

"You forget Colonel, we come from Risembol. We played with a lot of kids from families like yours growing up." Al explained. "Although the way you act, we would have never guessed you came from such a large family."

"I try not to associate with them." Roy sighed again. "They can be rather embarrassing at times."

"I would imagine." Edward shuddered at the images that came to mind. He knew a good few 'homestead mothers' that liked to do nothing more than make their adult children's lives hell.

"So why do you hate your niece-in-law so much, Colonel?" Alphonse was again curious.

"She's a traditionalist stick in the fucking mud!" Roy ranted, getting red in the face. "She's so freaking set in her ways and expectations its unreasonable! On top of that she's a manipulative bitch and cooks the world's worst meals! I have not idea what Atticus sees in that woman."

"You're sounding like Ed…." Al pointed out.

"I'm just getting started!" Roy had a glint in his eye, looking slightly psychotic.

"Wow, she must really be terrible Colonel bastard here thinks she's a bitch worse than himself." Edward commented to no one in particular.

**"Train # 4506 Central-bound is now arriving."** One of the station managers announced clearly over the intercom system.

"Oh shit! Which platform Fullmetal?" Roy looked slightly hysterical.

"Platform 6?" Edward pointed at the only train that was arriving.

"Oh." Roy smacked himself for being unobservant and ran to the platform. Edward and Alphonse exchanged looks and ran after their panicking Colonel.

"You know Al, I kind of feel sorry for him…." Ed remarked casually. "I thought that Winry wrenching me every time I come home was bad but…."

"Yeah, the Colonel's got it a lot worse." Al agreed.

Mustang stopped carefully in the center of the platform. He quickly composed himself, running fingers vainly through his moppy hair and brushing wrinkles out of his uniform. Within a few moments it looked as if he was there to great the Fuehrer. Ed and Al caught up quickly. Ed decided he'd humor Mustang and stand at attention to Roy's right and a little behind; just like a good solider would. Al stood tall a little behind Ed.

Soon an elderly woman stepped off the train. She had a head of grey hair that was kept back in a bun so 'no-nonsense' that Hawkeye would only be able to stare in envy, assuming she was there to do so. Her eyes were the same piercing onyx that Roy had. She had a good deal of hard wrinkles and was a little shaky on her legs. She wore a simple green dress with a light blue apron on the front. Within moments Roy rushed to her side and began to help her off the train.

"Hello mummy." He greeted her affectionately.

"Why hello there my little baby boy!" She cooed in a comforting, soft voice. Mrs. Mustang reminded Ed and Al of Pinako. "You're so handsome in the blue coat!" She beamed with pride.

"Thank you mummy." Roy bent down and gave her a kiss on the check.

"Pisst! Ed do you think we were like that with our mom?" Al asked. Ed nodded slightly.

Another woman came up. She had short brown hair that was streaked with grey. This woman wore another simple dress, though this one was blue and lacked the apron. She also had a pair of large, loud working boots on. The one thing that amazed Ed and Al about her was that her face was almost identical to Roy's except she had a several hard wrinkles where he had none. Her onyx eyes were not as piercing as her mother's.

"Ah! Cindy Lynn!" Roy cried joyously. "Hello there my dear sister!"

Cindy Lynn rolled her eyes. "Don't falter me brat." Her voice was low and sharp. "If you want any love from me earn it."

"Glad to see you haven't changed." Roy sweatdropped. He quickly turned to his mother. "Mummy I'm going to leave you with some of my comrades while I help Cindy Lynn with everyone's bags, okay?"

"Are the handsome and charming?" His mother asked as Roy lead her towards Ed and Al.

"Well they aren't handsome, but they aren't bad on the eyes. And they are more than charming." He assured her, shooting Edward a particularly nasty glare. The glare said this: 'if you make me wrong, your sorry ass is on fire!'. Ed quickly approached the two.

"Good day ma'am." Ed bowed low and respectfully.

"Who is this, son?" Mrs. Mustang turned to her son.

"Mummy, this is Major Edward Elric. He's the Fullmetal Alchemist." Roy explained.

"Oh I've heard about you!" She clapped her hands, smiling.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, ma'am." Edward told her, looking up. "That dress looks very nice on you."

"Oh thank you!" The old woman smiled warmly. Edward offered her an arm as he saw that she wasn't all that stable on her feet. The woman took it quickly, her grip was surprisingly light and gentile.

"You are such a gentleman!" Mrs. Mustang was very content. "So, Major, why don't you tell me some good stories of your travels? I always liked stories from the source. They're more truthful that way." She began to babble. Ed glanced back at Roy to get an approving nod.

"I'd love to tell you about everything I've done, but first I'd like to introduce you to my brother." Ed explained as he lead her back to Alphonse.

Roy turned around to get several suit cases and bags dumped into his arms.

"You're as prompt as ever." He huffed.

"I like that boy better than that blonde woman you brought with you last time." Cindy remarked. "He can actually put up with mummy."

"He comes from a small village out east." Roy explained.

"So did that Havoc fellow." She glared at her brother.

"Hey, Havoc and mummy got along fine! You just didn't like that he smokes." Roy wasn't sure who was being defended, himself or Havoc.

"He smelled." She snorted.

**Click. Click.** Two heeled shoes touched the platform. Ed managed to steal a moment away from humoring Mrs. Mustang to gaze upon the new arrival. She was a beautiful woman. Her red hair was full of body and her blue eyes sparkled brilliantly. She had a large chest, that she had chose to accent by wearing a tight baby blue blouse. She had a navy blue skirt that hung sexually off her hips. She looked as if she was a movie star, and carried herself as if she was that important as she walked over to Roy.

"Mary Sue, it is a pleasure to see you again." Roy forced a smile.(1)

"I'm sure it is." Her voice sounded as if she was singing. Ed decided that Mrs. Mustang was a lot more approachable and went back to entertaining the old lady.

"So tell me Roy-baby," Mary began, stroking her finger under Roy's chin making him extremely uncomfortable, "who's the child over there with Mother Mustang?"(2)

Ed bit his tongue on the child comment and held his temper. Thankfully for him no one seemed to notice, except Roy who let out a tiny sigh of relief.

"Mary, that young _man_ over there is none other than the Fullmetal Alchemist." Roy corrected her, emphasizing man hoping that his niece-in-law would get the point and not unnecessarily provoke Edward. "I'm sure you've heard about him."

_"The_ Fullmetal Alchemist?" Mary looked at him dubiously. "Are you sure? He's really short…."

Al chose this moment to add emphasis to their tale by wrapping an arm "playfully" around Ed's shoulders. Ed forced a smile and his eyebrow twitched.

"He's not short!" Roy snapped at her. "He's _young!_ In fact he's arguably the best alchemist this military has ever seen, so please speak of him with a little more respect!" Edward had never heard Roy defend him about anything. Or even compliment him on anything, this fact alone was what allowed him to quell his anger.

"Don't- you- dare- yell- at- me- Roy- Mustang!!" Mary turned around and poked his chest with every word to emphasis her point. Roy, though burdened with luggage, held his position.

"Don't you dare insult my comrades." He hissed dangerously. "So, my lovely Mary, where is your son?" Roy prayed distracting her would help.

"Oh! Jaxith!" Mary cried, waving someone forward. Edward again stole a glance to take in the infamous great-nephew. He looked remarkably like Roy did physically. The same face, same hair and eyes. But the boy did not carry himself like Roy did. Where Roy was confident and sure, the boy shivered with uncertainty. His eyes were wide and fearful. He timidly stepped onto the platform. He wore a nice button up white shirt with a navy blue vest. His pants were navy slacks and his shoes were brown leather that shined. Jaxith carried a sketchbook and a wooden box under one arm.

"Jaxith!" Roy exclaimed with a sincere smile. Cindy rolled her eyes at her brother.

"Great Uncle Roy!" Jaxith smiled brightly.

_So that's what the bastard must look like when he actually smiles…._ Edward had never seen a truly honest smile from his Colonel. All he saw were smirks.

"Come on little love," Cindy cooed to her grandson, "let's go sit with Mother Mustang." She set her arm on the small of the boy's back and began to lead him towards Ed and Al. Mary Sue frowned.

"No. Jaxith you will carry your share of the luggage. It's a _man's_ job after all." Mary glared at her mother-in-law. She snatched Jaxith's shoulder and shoved him towards Roy. This shoving made Jaxith drop his box on the ground. Colored pencils, paintbrushes, and other art supplies came flying out and scattered about the platform. Jaxith gasped and looked like he was about to cry.

"You _brought_ those?" Mary looked upset and disappointed. "I told you not to boy!" She snarled. Jaxith cringed as if he was waiting to get beaten.

"Well I'll be! That's the art kit I _gave_ you for your _birthday!"_ Roy noticed. "I'm _glad_ to see you've gotten some use from it! You know Mary Sue, I would have been very _disappointed_ if he hadn't been able to get some use out of it." Mary glanced at Roy with a small glare.

"What a mess!" Mrs. Mustang remarked. At this Edward realized that he was very apart of a situation he'd been trying to avoid.

"Excuse me ma'am, I'm going to help with the clean up." Edward told her quietly.

"You're going to leave me alone?" Mrs. Mustang stared at him, her mouth agape.

"No ma'am." Al injected quickly. "I'll stay here with you. Brother here's just trying to help, that's what he does best you know."

"Oh! Don't let me stop you boy!" Mrs. Mustang began to shoo Ed towards the mess. She turned to Al and smiled. "He's such a good child!"

Edward rushed over to Jaxith's side. He made sure to stop, salute and stand at attention in respect to Roy before he made it to Jaxith's side.

"Here, let me help you." Ed dropped to his knees and started collecting the pencils. Jaxith looked around, confused and uncertain, then carefully bent over and began collecting his paints. Roy smiled, set the luggage down gently and picked up the box and began to reorganize the insides of it.

_These aren't used at all…._ Roy observed as he put the paints back in color order. It made him sad. _Jaxith always loved to draw and paint, why did that change? Why is he so uncertain? _Roy paused his thoughts when Jaxith handed him a handful of paints.

"…Sorry…." The boy quietly whispered. His great uncle smiled warmly back.

"Don't worry Jaxith. There are lots of _adults_ around headquarters that drop stacks of paperwork all the time." Roy ruffled his great nephew's hair. Ed came over with all the pencils.

"Yeah, most of the time paperwork winds up on the floor like that, it creates an even bigger mess!" Ed assured Jaxith. "There's nothing to be ashamed of."

"Must you always break your things Jaxith?" His mother sighed at the boy. Edward then noticed that he had a good few broken pencils in his hands.

"Lessons without pain have no meaning." Edward looked up at Mary Sue and met her eyes. "Man kind cannot move forward without sacrifice."(3)

"What do you mean by that?" Mary was a bit lost on Ed's words. Cindy studied Edward curiously, then smiled in approval.

"He's saying that unless you make a mistake, you cannot learn from it." Cindy explained to her daughter-in-law. "And I'll be damned if that isn't the truth." Mary seemed to consider this.

"Oh, how rude of me!" Edward realized that Jaxith didn't know who he was. "I'm Major Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist!" Ed took Jaxith's hand and shook it. "It is a pleasure to meet you!"

_"You're_ the Fullmetal Alchemist!?" Jaxith gasped, Ed nodded. "Oh wow! I'm Jaxith Howard Skibbereen, Mr. Major Elric sir!"

"Um… could you please call me 'Ed'? I'm not on duty right now and I don't really like to be so formal when I'm not on duty…." Ed tried not to completely freak out. He'd never had someone be so respectful and humble because of him before.

"You're not on duty Maj- Ed?" Jaxith caught himself.

"No I'm here because Roy asked me if I would help him. At the office we would call this event 'personal business'." Ed chuckled, handing Roy the pencils that weren't broken.

"What are you doing with his pencils?" Mary eyed Ed like he was a snake.

"I was going to fix them." Ed explained. "When things like this break I always try to fix them. Alchemist be thou for the people."(4)

"Oh." Mary was flustered and embarrassed. _Well of course an alchemist would help fix broken things when he sees them! _

Ed set the broken pieces of the pencils out and clapped his hands. He took a small breath and touched the first pencil. It came alive with a few arcs of alchemic energy and mended itself. Ed smiled and touched the next one, again mending the pencil. A few minutes later it looked as if nothing had ever happened to the once broken pencils. Ed quickly collected them and handed them to Roy. Roy made short work of putting them all away and shutting the box.

"Couldn't have done it better myself." Roy smiled quietly.

"Thank you." Ed bowed, "humbly" to Roy. "Say, would you like a hand with the luggage?" Ed glanced around Roy at the large pile of suitcases and bags.

"That would be much appreciated."

1- In fan fiction terms a Mary Sue is a perfect character. This "Mary Sue" happens to be far from perfect but likes to think she is.

2- The title Mother (insert last name of family here) is awarded to the oldest female in the "main branch" of a family. Its very traditional to call that person Mother even if you are only related to her by marriage.

3- Stolen blatantly from the first page of the Fullmetal Alchemist Manga Volume #1. Please correct me if I'm off.

4- Stolen from the anime series.

Ok, so Ed's being a good deal out of character. My justification for this is that Ed and Al come from a small town and do have a sense of manners and respect for their elders. The reason Ed doesn't treat Pinako like he treats Roy's mother is that Pinako is some he is "related" to and he can be more casual with her. Also, Ed did promise Mustang that he would behave, so he did. Please review!


	3. Mummy Knows Best

-1**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: If you honestly think some poor starving college student owns FMA, you are out of your mind.

Recap: We met mummy (Mrs. Mustang), Cindy Lynn, Mary Sue, and Jaxith. We also found the exact relationships between them and Roy.

Other Stuff: Whoo! I've finally got the ball rolling! Now lets see where my mind takes this story! And here's a shout out to everyone who reviewed: **THANK YOU!!**

Previously:

_"Thank you." Ed bowed, "humbly" to Roy. "Say, would you like a hand with the luggage?" Ed glanced around Roy at the large pile of suitcases and bags._

_"That would be much appreciated."_

Chapter 3: Mummy Knows Best

It was a formidable foe, the stack of luggage. Ed just let out a low whistle now that he had an opportunity to examine the stack up close. Faintly in the back of the young alchemist's head, he contemplated how Roy was able to carry it all. Speaking of which, the Colonel was carefully disassembling the stack, sorting each piece by size and weight.

"Oh conductor sir!" Cindy Lynn waved to the train worker.

"Yes ma'am?" He asked politely.

"We have a few bags in the luggage car." Cindy explained.

"Can I have your luggage ticket?" The man asked and found that Cindy was a very prepared woman. She made short work of presenting the ticket.

"Ah! I'll need a hand carrying it all." The man's eyes widened at the information the ticket presented him. At this Roy made motions to step forward but Ed beat him to the punch.

"I'll help you sir!" Ed called sincerely.

"Are you sure you can handle it boy?" The man eyed Edward wearily. Edward grunted and pulled the sleeve of his red coat back to reveal his automail. "Oh." With that the conductor lead the way to the luggage car.

"Cindy?" Roy asked with a small voice to get his sister's attention. She turned and looked at him slightly exasperated. "How many bags do y'all have?"

"Most of them are Jaxith's." Cindy pointed out. "Mary Sue thinks that him living here is a nice idea. If you meet her standards she's going to move the boy in during this trip. Me and mummy were sensible about our packing, only one suitcase between us."

At the comment concerning his luggage, Jaxith's face fell and he stared at the ground. He soon became filled with self-damaging shame and tried to make himself as small as possible. He stood as still as a statue, trying not to cry as the horrible feeling welled up inside him. This low-key presence he was maintaining soon had him fall into the 'ignore' and 'oblivious' categories for the adults. Alphonse, who was extremely observant, noticed this change in Jaxith's posture. He refrained from commenting as he was soon distracted by the panic from Mary Sue's impending arrival.

"And I can presume that Mary Sue didn't pack as sensibly?" Roy eyed his niece-in-law who had busied herself with "entertaining" Alphonse and his mummy.

"Yes." Cindy pinched the bridge of her noise and snorted. "Four suitcases and two bags."

"And Jaxith basically found himself bringing everything he owned?" Roy asked, his mouth agape at the sight of the boxes Edward was helping the conductor haul off the train.

"That was mummy's idea, she didn't want to impose on your money. So she made us pack up his furniture, lucky he doesn't own much." Cindy nodded. "I hope you weren't expecting us to be walking."

"Of course not!" Roy huffed. "Don't you think I'd know what kind of condition mummy's legs are in!? I check in enough for _that!"_

"What _did_ you bring?" Cindy asked.

"I'm borrowing a five seater truck from work." Roy was quick to explain. "The inside feels just like pa's back home, smells better, and runs twice as good." After a short pause Roy calculated what sort of question his sister would ask next and he answered it before she could ask. "I was planning to stick the Elric boys in the bed with the luggage."(1)

"You do realize that mummy will want to sit in the bed?" Cindy reminded him.

"Yes." Roy sighed. "But I don't feel that comfortable with her in the back."

"You better hope she doesn't insist again."(2) All Roy could do was moan in response.

It was at this time that Edward returned with the luggage.

"Colonel, you _did_ come here by car right?" Ed asked with a small grunt as he maneuvered the cart the luggage was on.

"…Truck…." Jaxith muttered his correction. Roy's combat training was the only thing preventing him from leaping into the air. Soon Roy was filled with guilt for having completely forgotten the boy standing there on the platform with them. From Cindy's point of view, she observed her brother's face express a bit of shock and confusion for no apparent reason.

"Excuse me?" Ed, having been far enough away to have not heard, kindly asked.

"Great-Uncle Roy brought a truck." Jaxith explained, lifting his head. Suddenly the boy's face was filled with dread. Jaxith had thought he had spoken either out of turn or rudely and soon his face was looking back at the platform.

The last thing in the world anyone expected happened, at least from Jaxith's perspective. He felt a cold, hard weight on his shoulder. His head shot up as he simultaneously jumped a bit, startled. His vision went from the ugly grey concrete of the platform to the intense, golden eyes of Edward Elric.

"You ok?" Ed asked, honestly concerned.

"He's _fine."_ Mary Sue cut in, having suddenly returned to the scene. Ed turned and faced her slowly, not letting his automail hand leave Jaxith's shoulder.

"If I recall correctly, Jaxith is 14." Mary nodded, confirming Edward's statement. "And I believe that _most_ ten year olds are highly capable of answering questions concerning their personal welfare just fine. So, do tell me, why Jaxith - a 14 year old - shouldn't be able to answer a question himself?"

Jaxith paled, then started sputtering something about it actually being okay and that he _was_ fine. Edward turned around to look him in the eye.

"As long as you're the one whose sure…." Ed didn't actually believe for one minute that Jaxith was fine. The boy had a mess of emotions on his sleeve, and even Edward whose ability to be empathic was almost none existent, could see it. Mary Sue was slowly turning red with anger.

"I-I-I'm s-sure!" Jaxith stuttered, sounding far more unconvincing than he could have imagined. Ed took his hand off Jaxith's shoulder.

"Well, come on, let's move these bags!" Ed smiled, pretending to be chipper in an attempt to improve Jaxith's mood.

"O-okay." Jaxith managed a half smile.

Roy put a few of the heavier bags on the cart Ed had hauled over.

"Fullmetal, would you be so _kind_ as to maneuver the cart?" Roy asked Edward quickly as he observed that Mary Sue was going to call the whole thing off right then and there if Edward didn't start behaving.

"Eh? Sure…." Ed was completely distracted by the change of subject. He went and stood by the bar and leaned against it, waiting.

"Roy are you sure such a small boy can push a cart that heavy?" Mary Sue asked "sweetly". Edward clenched his jaw really hard to keep from yelling.

"He's stronger than I am." Roy replied very a-matter-a-factly. Mary stared at Roy in disbelief.

"Excuse me," Alphonse literally stepped in with Mrs. Mustang on his arm, "but Mrs. Mustang is a little tired and wants to leave soon."

"Such a nice boy!" Mrs. Mustang exclaimed and gave Al a pat on the shoulder. "Such a nice, nice boy!"(3)

"Jaxith I'd like you to carry these three bags." Roy pointed to the bags he spoke of. Before anyone, mainly Mary Sue, Roy picked up the fourth bag and two suitcases remaining, and started to make his way out of the station. With a grunt Ed got the cart rolling and began to slowly make his way after Roy. Jaxith sighed and picked up the bags and trotted after the two soldiers.

"Come, come!" Mrs. Mustang called to the other two ladies, and soon the rest were on the way. Within a few minutes they all stood before a truck. It was a black truck with military plates on it. Since Roy and Ed arrived first, they began to put the larger luggage in the bed. This oddly, did not take the two very long as they both turned out to be seasoned movers.

"Alphonse, would you mind sitting in the bed?" Roy asked the armored boy.

"Not at all Colonel." Al replied happily.

"Can I?" Mrs. Mustang predictably asked.

"Mummy, you are welcome to _but,_ I would like to chat with you some. It has been a really long time, and, I, uh, well missed you a lot." Roy blushed and rubbed the back of his head.

"Well then, I call the boomstick seat!" Mrs. Mustang hobbled over to the door and climbed, with unexpected agility, into the passenger's seat.

"I'll just sit with Al." Edward said quickly, jumping into the bed of the truck. Alphonse clambered in after him.

Jaxith opened the back door of the truck and bowed slightly. His grandmother and mother nodded in approval and climbed into the backseat. Jaxith climbed in himself and shut the door.

"No crazy driving Colonel." Ed eyed Roy.

"Edward." Roy began, taking a breath. "You almost blew it back there. I know being nice to Mary Sue is a pain, but you and I have a _deal._ You _need_ to be nicer to her."

"I'll try harder." Edward took a deep breath, of relief or of an attempt to calm himself down, none were sure.

"Though, you have been doing very well keeping your temper in check." Roy admitted with a small smile. "Thank you."

"You should smile more often, looks better." Edward muttered. Roy gave a little laugh and got in the truck himself.

"I want to see where Jaxith will be living." Mary announced. "Now."

"Uh…." Roy looked to his mother for approval. She nodded. "Certainly."

Though the drive took 30 minutes, it was unremarkable. Though Jaxith, never having been outside his small hometown, had plastered his face to the window, taking in all the sights. Roy started chuckling when he observed this.

"What's so funny!?" Cindy growled at her brother.

"Kindness!" Mrs. Mustang snapped at her daughter. Everyone in the car, except Jaxith, sweatdropped.

"Oh Jaxith just reminds me of a certain young man ten years ago." Roy smiled.

"He's not driving this car by chance is he?" Mrs. Mustang asked with a sparkle in her eye.

"Maybe." Roy whistled. Jaxith remained oblivious. About ten minutes Roy stopped in front of a three story brick building. It had a rustic appearance and looked very clean and well maintained.

"Hey Colonel!" The people inside the cab heard Edward protest through the glass. "Shouldn't we drop the luggage off at the hotel first!?"

"Uh…." Roy looked to his mother. She rolled down her window.

"We're dropping off the furniture and you two here." She kindly explained. "You two will be putting everything away while the rest of us head to the hotel."

"Oh!" Both of the Elrics exclaimed. They made short work of getting all the furniture out of the bed. Roy started the engine again when Ed tapped frantically on his window. Roy rolled it down.

"Yes, Fullmetal?" Roy leaned out the window.

"Keys?" Ed held out his hand expectantly. Roy simply mouthed 'o' and retrieved his keys from his pocket. He selected a key of the set and dangled the key chain by it.

"This is the one to my apartment. It's room 217 on the second floor. The orange key," Roy pointed to it, "goes to the front door of the complex."

"Thanks!" Ed took the keys and walked over to his brother.

"Lets get this stuff up there!" Was the last thing Roy heard as he rolled the window up.

"How far is the hotel from here?" Cindy asked.

"Two blocks." Roy replied.

**-two blocks later-**

"Here we are!" Roy announced as he pulled into the hotel's parking lot. Mrs. Mustang grabbed the handle of the door and started to look impatient. At this Roy made quick work of parking. Soon everyone and their things were piled out onto the sidewalk. Cindy Lynn quickly trotted into the hotel without a word to anyone. Roy and Jaxith exchanged weary glances.

Cindy burst into the room, startling the entire establishment.

"Good day my sirs and madams." Cindy addressed the staff like a trained military professional. "Today you have a very special guest of honor. You will treat her with respect and love. Should I find you giving her any less, there will be," a tense pause, "consequences."

"Who the hell do you think you are woman!?" One of the staff members cried, unamused. Cindy stomped over to him, making sure to crack the title floor with every step.

"I am Cindy Lynn Mustang boy!" She snapped at the man, towering over him. "And you _will_ remember that!"

It was then Roy meekly poked his head through the door. With a quick survey of the scene, he deemed it 'hostile' and went back outside.

"Wait!" One of the staff members cried. "You can't leave us here!!" Though, Roy had been long gone by the time this was said. Cindy clapped her hands and gave the people an evil, sweet smile.

"Are there any questions?"

"No, ma'am!" Came the quick, fearful chorus.

"Good." Cindy spun on her heel and opened the door. Roy quickly shuffled in, burdened with bags. Jaxith, who was just as quick and a significant many times more meek, came in right at his great-uncle's heels. Mary, with her grandmother-in-law on her arm, came clicking up the rear. Cindy fell in place beside her mother and the procession arrived at the front counter.

"Excuse me sir, I'm here with the reservation under 'Mustang'." Roy explained to the charming (and frightened) lady behind the counter as he set a few bags down.

" 'Mustang'?" She piped, her voice still full of fear. Very quickly she searched through the notes and found the documentation of the reservation.

"Ah! Here it is! Two doubles reserved for a 'Roy Mustang' for today and tomorrow." She looked up. "Is this correct, sir?"

"Yes, perfectly." Roy smiled at her charmingly. "How much?"

"834 zens please."(4) Roy handed her the money. The woman made short work of writing up a receipt for Roy and handing him the keys. "The rooms are on the first floor, just down the hall to your left. Have a good day sir, and thank you for your patronage." Roy nodded as he quickly picked up all the bags and made his way towards the rooms.

It did not take long for the Mustang family to arrive at the rooms. Roy breathed a silent sigh of relief when he discovered the rooms were easy to open. The rooms themselves were nice, a pale peach color with basic brown carpets. Each had a basic, inoffensive autumn color scheme for the bed spread and lampshades. Mary Sue nodded and began to direct the males in the setting down of the luggage in the correct places. Most of it wound up at the foot of her bed.

After the that task was completed, Mrs. Mustang announced she needed a nap. Cindy explained to her brother that their mother only took 15 minute naps. Cindy decided she'd spend that time unpacking a little. Mary, having found that a brilliant idea, recruited Roy to help her unpack.

Roy swallowed nervously, it was an excusable action as he'd just been handed more ladies' lingerie than he had ever seen (Roy not being one to even glance into a such a store, despite the temptation). He stood stiff as a board.

"Now, put that in the lower drawer!" Mary commanded. Roy, robotically, put the articles away. He let out a breath of relief when it was over.

"Mary, I love you dearly, but could I not come into contact with your undergarments again?" Roy asked her carefully. "I get really nervous and I don't want to damage or stain them in anyway."

"Oh! Certainly!" Or as Roy translated. "I'm probably going to forget and expect you to do that again."

"Thank you Cindy, but I'm going to make a quick call right now." Roy stepped over to the phone and started to dial before she could protest. Jaxith eyed the adults cautiously then returned to his unpacking.

**-at Roy's apartment-**

Edward and Alphonse jumped when the phone rang. They glanced at one another, their looks asking one another if they should answer. In the end the brothers decided to not answer. After a few rings the answering machine clicked on.

**"You've reached Roy Mustang. As I am not in right now, I would be grateful if you left a message with your name and number after the tone. I will try to reply as soon as I can."** There was a small beep two seconds later.

**"Fullmetal, I know you can here me, so pick up."** The machine snapped irritably at them in the Colonel's unmistakable voice. Edward picked up, giving his brother what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

"Sir?" Ed asked politely.

**"How is the move going?"** The machine happened to have been one of the annoying kind that recorded and played the entire conversation when you picked up after it went off.

"Fine, we've got the furniture in guest room. We moved all the crap that was in there into your bedroom-" Ed got cut off.

_**"What!?"**_ Boomed Mustang.

"Its not my job to clean out your stuff!" Ed roared back.

"Brother!" Al cried trying to claim his raging brother.

**"Fullmetal."** Roy snapped Edward out of the fuming. **"I need you to clean it. Usually I would do it myself, but I don't have time. Be quick about it, I'm on my way there soon."** There was the snappy click followed by a dial tone that signaled the end of the call.

"Brother, why didn't you tell him about the lock being off?" Al asked.

"Because he lives here and he should know that's there already." Ed snorted. "Come on, we've got a room to clean." Ed ominously rolled up his sleeves.

"Oh dear…" Al muttered following his older brother.

**-back at the hotel-**

Cindy opened the door as Roy hung up.

"Mummy's ready." She stated, glaring a little at Mary Sue.

"Ah, ok." With that the family made their way out of the hotel.

On his way out one of the bellboys tapped Roy on the shoulder.

"Sir, here's the bill for the tiles." He said and handed Roy a slip of paper.

Reading it only made Roy groan.

1- That is technically illegal in Oregon (people over 21 are the only ones allowed in the bed of a truck under the condition that all safety belts in the cab are being used). In Amestris the law is such that only people of age are allowed to sit in the bed (which means 16 or older). Al technically shouldn't be in the back, but who's really going to argue that a seven foot tall suit of armor should belong in a cab of a truck? The Colonel knows full well that Ed's appearance may get him pulled over but Roy doesn't really care.

2- The last time Mrs. Mustang insisted on something and she was denied, there were dire consequences that involved many acts of public humiliation.

3- She's a rambling old lady that's not all there mentally. From time to time she is clear and sane, others… just creepy.

4- I'm just using the amount of dollars that would have corresponded to (200 per night, per room). I'm keeping the money this way to less confuse myself.

Sorry this took so long, I've been distracted making cosplay for Kumori Con. Anyone else around here going?


	4. A New Home, Family Included

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: Same as last time, not mine, won't be anytime soon.

Recap: Ed and Al are left unattended to move Jaxith's belongings into the apartment. Roy winds up helping Mary unpack at the hotel.

Other Stuff: I've finally been hit by some inspiration. The ending result is this update. I probably won't be heard from again until September. I'm going to Kumori Con (Sept 1-3) then going to France for 10 days. _Then_ I'm moving into my dorm room. Talk about cramming everything at the end of my summer. I'll try and see if I can get another chapter up before then, but no promises. And a little shout out to those who reviewed: I LOVE YOU ALL!

Previously:

_On his way out one of the bellboys tapped Roy on the shoulder._

_"Sir, here's the bill for the tiles." He said and handed Roy a slip of paper. Reading it only made Roy groan._

Chapter 4: A New Home, Family Included

"Al, do you think the Colonel's going to notice we altered his ceilings?" Ed asked admiring his handiwork and quick thinking. The alchemist had, rather than actually cleaning the mess up which would have taken weeks, created a temporary loft and stuffed the mess up there. Thankfully Roy's apartment had ten foot tall ceilings, otherwise the idea would have been impossible.

"I wouldn't doubt it, though with Mary Sue around he probably won't say anything." Alphonse admitted quietly. "Though I'm going to have to give you points on making it look normal this time."

"Hey!" Ed snapped, not liking Al's poke at his pride.

"And points for making it look even. I doubt anyone's going to notice the ceiling isn't meant to be this way." Al 'grinned'. (1)

"Good, that's what I was looking for." Ed nodded. "Let's head down and greet them. It'd only be 'proper' of us."

"Sure thing brother." With that the two Elrics made their way down to the parking lot. They didn't have to wait long to observe Roy pulling the truck in. The 40 minutes the Colonel had been gone had seemed to take a large toll on the man. He looked haunted and exhausted. Ed and Al exchanged looks that said 'is he going to survive this?'.

Jaxith glanced out the window as his great-uncle pulled the truck in. The Elric boys were standing on the edge of the parking lot waiting patiently. It was a very nice day outside and the sun was brilliantly lighting up everything, especially Edward's hair. Ed's expression changed from a weary one to that of amusement and laughter. Jaxith correctly assumed that Alphonse had cracked a joke. With the sunlight shinning and the pure expression on the alchemist's face, Jaxith silently gasped at the beauty of it.

Jaxith for the first time in a very long time had an urge to draw. Being an artist at heart, when he saw something beautiful, he had to capture it on paper. But now was not the time to draw, and as usual, Jaxith suppressed his inspiration and trudged forward. The boy got out of the car and helped the others out.

"Do you like Central?" Roy asked, smiling to his great-nephew.

"Yes, its very beautiful here." Jaxith commented, still a little lost in the image he had seen earlier.

"Glad you like it here. Make sure to let your mom know, okay?" Roy instructed seriously. "I'm trying to make sure that you'll be staying here, so I just need a little help from you." With that Roy winked and approached the Elrics.

"Is it all done?" He asked them privately, his voice full of worry.

"Yes." They answered, very sure. Soon the rest of the party approached and the lot of them moved en mass to the front door of the apartment. Ed handed Roy the keys. Roy began to unlock the door but soon found the key stuck. He grunted, wiggled the key, the knob, and shook the door. Nothing happened.

"Sorry," Roy gave the knob a dual key-knob wiggle, "this lock has always been a little difficult." The military man continued to rattle the door.

"Can I try?" Ed asked, knowing that he had had success the last time the door was opened.

"Eh? Sure…." Roy stepped out of the way. Ed struggled with the door. The longer he struggled, the more angry he got with it. It did not take long for Edward to forget his automail training and turn the key too hard.

_**SNAP!**_

An awkward pause followed. Roy took a breath and counted to ten.

"Fullmetal, did you just break my house key?"

Edward didn't respond, instead he took a step back from the door. With a small, somewhat insane, chuckle Ed brought his left leg up and kicked the door smartly. It swung open. Ed smiled and nodded, content he had successfully opened the 'evil door'.

Roy smacked his forehead and pulled his hand over his face in embarrassment. Mary Sue's jaw dropped as she stood there stunned. Cindy Lynn smiled, having would have done the same thing herself. Mother Mustang laughed, enjoying herself. And you Jaxith was awed by Ed's display of strength.

"Brother, the key is still broken." Al admonished his older brother.

"Easy fix." Ed clapped his hands.

"Fullmetal." Roy interrupted the boy. "Fix the lock too."

" 'K." Ed concentrated again then set his hands on the door knob and fixed the entire set up. He handed the now working key to the Colonel. "Next time you have an annoying door lock, just let me know."

"Sure thing." Roy lead his family into the apartment. It was fairly large, being designed to house a small family rather than the bachelor it did. The living room resembled a library with all the bookcases it housed. The books were mostly alchemy related, and the majority of those were hand-written research journals. Edward would have loved to read through the entire thing, but now was not the time nor place.

There was a small break in the bookshelves for a fire place and firewood, as well as a few windows. Roy noticed with mild surprise that the books were dust-free. He realized he owed the Elrics more than a little bit if the rest of the apartment was this nice. There was a couch facing the fireplace and a coffee table before it. Al had picked up the lose papers around the living space and pilled them neatly, though by no means actually organized, on the table.

To the left of the living room was the kitchen. Jaxith ran inside the room with the boyish joy of exploring. Jaxith discovered the cutlery and dishes were in the upper cupboards while the food and pans were in the lower cupboards.

"You have a refrigerator!"(2) Jaxith gasped. He touched the appliance in awe.

"Yes, of course I do." Roy remarked with a smile. "There isn't space for an icebox in here."

"Still…." Jaxith continued to stare at the appliance in wonder. He nervously opened it to reveal that it was full of food. "Wow…."

"Hey Jaxith!" Ed cried, a little panicked sounding. "You better not be pulling a Winry on me!" Soon the alchemist was in the kitchen, his arm slung over Jaxith's shoulder and his other hand giving him a noggie. " 'Cause you know Winry's an automail nut and that's not a healthy past time."

"Hey!" Jaxith snapped back, out of fear and annoyance. It was not often that Jaxith had someone contact him in such a boyish manner. Ed grinned mischievously at him.

"Just looking out for you." And with a quick wink, Ed sped off into one of the rooms to the right. Jaxith growled and chased after the blonde.

"Hey!" Roy snapped. "No running in my house!"

"Yes sir!" Ed turned to salute and snapped his heels together in a military fashion. Then he turned back around and continued to run as if nothing happened.

"My my!" Mrs. Mustang remarked, happy. Al just sweatdropped, he wished he could join the other boys in blissful play, but being a seven foot tall suit of armor didn't really make it possible in such a small space. Instead of going after his seemingly incorrigible brother, he went into the kitchen and shut the refrigerator.

"I haven't seen Jaxith run around like that since he was seven!" Mary gasped. Roy paused and did a little mental math. Jaxith was seven the last time Roy had seen the boy.

"This is a good place for him." Cindy announced, seeming set and decided. "He hasn't been this happy in a long time."

"He always did like me." Roy added thoughtfully, knowing that Jaxith's current joy was nothing he played a part in. "I have to admit, I haven't seen Fullmetal run around like a boy his age should very often either. The two will be good for one another."

"It's going to be a lot more fun to have another friend our own age." Al added, content.

Mary eyed the boys wearily. "They still shouldn't be running around like animals."

**WHUMP!!**

All the adults exchanged glances. Roy and Cindy traveled down the hall, passing a closet, bathroom, and Roy's bedroom. They entered Jaxith's new room to see Edward on his knees holding his right arm over his head. Jaxith was holding a pillow that had been recently stuck against the automail. Roy walked in and snatched the pillow from his great-nephew.

"I don't mind that you boys want to be rowdy, but I do mind if its going to be destructive." Roy gave Ed a meaningful look. "And I really mind when you don't include me!" Roy then proceeded to smack Edward on the side of the head with the pillow. Ed, being the marital artist he was, just ducked.

"Alright Colonel." Ed smiled as Roy gave him a slightly distraught look. "But I believe we're still dancing to Mary Sue's tune until she leaves. I'll _let_ you smack me next time."

Jaxith laughed. Ed started laughing, and Roy soon followed. Cindy was chuckling and the other adults just watched as they observed three fools laughing.

"Roy-love," Mrs. Mustang began, "where's that sweater I gave you?" The laughter ended.

"In my room." Roy answered. "I'll put it on if you like."

"I would."

A few minutes later Roy exited his room dawning the "Mummy's Boy" sweater. Mrs. Mustang smiled, proud and happy. Jaxith poked his head curiously into Roy's bedroom. Mary did not seem content with this. Soon Jaxith walked into the room and came back out with a pair of huge orange socks.

"Great-Uncle, are these yours?" Jaxith held up the pair. Roy stared at them with a small bit of shock and horror.

"No, they belong to my friend Heymans Breda." Roy then remembered how they got there.

"Why were they in your bedroom?" Cindy asked him, a little confused.

"Heymans and I had gone out drinking on a rainy day. He got smashed so I took him here because it was closer than his house. He took off his boots and socks and belt then slept in my bed that night. I slept on the couch." Roy groaned at the memory. "We couldn't find his socks the next morning so he went home without." Ed snorted, amused.

Al walked over, having spent the last little while in the living room.

"Roy, could I borrow this book?" Al held up said book. Roy glanced at the cover discovering it was one of his adventure stories he had been given as a boy.

"Sure." Roy turned to the rest of the people present. "I believe that Cindy said she wanted to see where I worked, correct?"

"Yes I did." Cindy smiled, thankful that her little brother was able to remember things.

"Well I have some things I need to pick up from there, does anyone object to stopping by?"

"I do!" Ed paled.

"Why?" Mary couldn't help but ask.

"I think Lieutenant Havoc is out for my hide…." Ed muttered nervously.

"Fullmetal come here." Roy motioned for the boy to come to his side.

"Why would the Lieutenant be out for your hide?" Roy whispered.

"I kind of transmuted his cigarettes last time I saw him…." Ed muttered, a little embarrassed and ashamed.

"Into what?" Edward didn't respond. Roy sighed. "Why?"

"Falman asked me too." Ed explained in a small voice.

"I'll redirect Havoc's anger so that Falman will have his neck properly rung." Ed let out a breath of relief. "But you and I are going to have a discussion about smart choices versus stupid ones a little while later."

Everyone filed out and into the car. Soon they pulled into the parking lot at Headquarters.

"It's the Fullmetal Alchemist!" Sergeant Charles pointed out to his friend.

"The guy in the armor? I can see why they call him 'Fullmetal'!" The friend remarked.

"No, the blonde!" Sgt. Charles corrected his friend.

"You mean the short guy?" The friend innocently asked. Edward just glared and growled at the friend, scaring the man.

"Did I mention he's really strong?" Sgt. Charles remembered hauling boxes with Edward all too well.

"Fullmetal, would you stop terrifying the new recruits? I think you've exceeded your allotted amount for this month." Roy reminded his subordinate.

"Yes, Colonel, sir." Ed muttered, giving the friend one last glare as he got out of the truck and made his way across the parking lot to the building.

"Is that Colonel Mustang?" The friend asked, trying not to laugh at the sweater.

"Yes." Sgt. Charles sweatdropped. He quickly led his friend away before Roy finished taking out his gloves.

It took the Mustang family an extra 15 minutes to get to the office as Mrs. Mustang insisted they stop while she asked one of the random soldiers in the hall if what he or she thought about the sweater her son was wearing. All of them were scared enough by the glare Roy gave them to tell the lady that it was very nice and flattering.

Roy was thankful Edward had gone ahead to warn his comrades about Mary Sue when he stepped into the office. Why was Roy Mustang thankful? He found two trashcans full of paper airplanes, that said enough right there. Everyone was working dutifully, even Ed and Al who were filing a few documents.

"This is my office." Roy explained as he lead his mother into the room. Cindy eyed the working military personnel.

"So who is everyone?" Mary asked bringing up the rear with Jaxith.

"Well y'all already know Edward and Alphonse. This here is First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye." Roy pointed to each person in turn. Riza looked up from her paperwork and saluted the family.

"I am honored to make your acquaintance." She said very politely, dropping her hand.

"She's the best sniper we've got in this military." Roy explained with a smile. "I'm proud to have her watching my back. This here is Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc, who is notably not smoking at the current moment."

Jean looked up from his paperwork and gave Mustang a glare. He then saluted the family.

"Good day. It is a pleasure to serve you." Havoc dropped his hand and glanced at Hawkeye, who gave him a signal that meant 'don't go back to work yet'.

"This Second Lieutenant Heymans Breda, he's one of the best strategists we've got." Breda saluted with a small smile.

"I heard you found my missing socks, thank you." He dropped his salute. Havoc let out an amused snort.

"And those two are Master Sergeant Kain Fuery and Warrant Officer Vato Falman." Roy pointed at the two. "Master Sergeant Fuery is our communications expert and a real wizard with wires. Warrant Officer Falman has such an amazing memory we consider him a walking encyclopedia." They saluted.

"It is a pleasure to meet and to serve." They chorused together, dropping their hands in sync.

"And whatever special do you have to say about yourself Uncle Roy?" Mary Sue asked sweetly. This was not the nice sort of sweet, it was the over-indulgence kind that made you feel really sick after eating.

"Colonel Roy Mustang," Edward began surprising everyone, "the Flame Alchemist, the Hero of Ishbal, loyal and faithful to those beneath him as much as he is to those above. A good friend and a perfect example for everyone."

"I can list his exact notable accomplishments if you like." Falman offered.

"No thank you sir." Mrs. Mustang answered. "Now my dear son, where's that boomstick?"

"Uhh… why are you asking?" Roy was nervous.

"I want to clean it." Mrs. Mustang looked around behind Havoc.

"I'll go get it Ma'am." Fuery saluted her and dashed quickly over to Mustang's desk and retrieved the shot gun.

"Ma'am do you need any materials to clean that?" Hawkeye made motions to open a drawer beside her.

"No need." Mrs. Mustang waved her off. "I brought my kit with me." The old lady sat at the couch and pulled out of her hand-knit bag a gun cleaning kit. Fuery handed her the gun and observed her intently as she began to very precisely clean it.

Cindy bowed to all the personnel in the room. "I am Cindy Lynn Mustang."

"She's my older sister." Roy explained. "This is my mummy, Victoria Elizabeth Mustang." Roy set his hands affectionately on her shoulders.

"Thank you for having brought our Colonel into this world." Hawkeye bowed to the woman.

"It was a royal pain having him in my belly for nine months." Mrs. Mustang went on. "But seeing him standing here now makes it all worth it." She smiled at her son.

"You say that about all of us." Cindy half-whined making all the other people in the room chuckle.

"This lovely lady here," Roy forced to sound faltering and content, "is my niece-in-law Mary Sue Skibbereen. She's Cindy's daughter-in-law." His subordinates nodded.

"And this-" Roy smiled brightly putting his hands on Jaxith's shoulders. "-is my great-nephew Jaxith Howard Skibbereen. He's going to be living with me soon."

"Wow!" Fuery gasped. "You're almost an exact copy of the Colonel!"

"Please tell me you're not going to be stealing my girlfriends too!" Havoc groaned earning a laugh from his comrades.

"I-its very nice to meet y'all." Jaxith bowed, blushing in embarrassment.

"Oh my." Came a voice from the back of the room. There stood Lieutenant General Grumman, with a small stack of paperwork under his arm. All the military personnel jumped to their feet and saluted the man.

"At ease." Lt. Gen. Grumman responded automatically. "Colonel Mustang, could you please share with me why you are not in proper uniform?"

"Uh-" Roy began his mother cutting him off.

"He's wearing his birthday present. I made it for him, isn't is darling?" Mrs. Mustang hummed as she whipped down the barrel of the gun.

"It's very nice, brings out his eyes." Grumman told her politely. He gave Roy a small wink.(3)

"General sir, my family is in town and they wanted to see where I worked." Roy explained. "Its my day off sir."

"Ah, would you still take-" Grumman began to approach Roy with the intent of handing him the papers when Mary Sue cut him off.

"What. Is. This?!" She pulled a paper airplane out of Roy's trashcan.

"A paper airplane." Falman identified every so dutifully.

"Oh I see! So you're telling me I pay my taxes every year so that you can just sit around and make paper airplanes my dear Uncle?" Mary glared at him.

Roy opened his mouth to defend himself but Mary cut him off.

"I don't see how someone like you even made it in the military. You are lazy and a procrastinator! You snore at night and your house smells weird! Your only friends are your subordinates. And. You. Drink!" Mary roared in her unprovoked tirade. "You are always full of false promises and you never consider a lady's opinion! Your men are the sickest lot I've ever-"

Hawkeye jumped to her feet with her gun out, safety off. "Shut up."

"What gives you-" Mary began, Havoc grabbed her shoulder cutting her off.

"Ma'am if you are going to insult us then I will escort you outside to wait. I don't think you understand this, but I put my live in these people's hands everyday. They are my second family and I will not have you insulting them." Havoc glared at her.

"Let go of me." She growled at Havoc. He let go but stood over her, angry.

Jaxith gasped.

"Thank you for your concerns Ma'am." Grumman handed the folders to Mustang. "But I'd rather you not go off on a tirade in matters where you have no place."

"Umm, Great Uncle Roy?" Jaxith asked meekly. "What's this?" He held up a condom he had noticed while staring at the floor.

And I'm going to cut it off there! Because that's a cliffhanger!

1- Armor can't really grin. But despite that there is a certain body posture Al assumes when he "grins".

2- This is based around the 1910s, refrigerators are a new technology. The only reason Roy can afford one is because of his "veteran bonus" he received from Ishbal.

3- Grumman had once been stationed out in West City. He knows a lot of the culture of the people over there.

And as a side note, the reason Ed can act like a kid around Jaxith is because that's what boys do if you leave then together long enough (trust me on this one). Until then see you next time!


	5. Illustrating a Point

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: I own some FMA paraphernalia, does that count?

Recap: The group visits Roy's apartment and then Headquarters. Breda's orange socks are found.

Other Stuff: To all who reviewed: I worship thee. To all who read: I love you. To all who read but didn't review: I face plant with a sweatdrop before thee. Seriously, its not a lot of work to type "I read this story". Just gives me an idea who's looking at it. I am glad to announce that I was able to crank out one last chapter before I'll be gone. I won't update until September, so hopefully y'all can wait. Drop me a review all the same.

Inachis- My dear anon. reviewer, I thank you for reviewing. I know Ed was a little childish but I blame that on the fact that when you stick multiple young boys together like that, its what they wind up doing. I see it happen repeatedly. And as for Roy's Devine Intervention: you'll get to see some of that this chapter. And I'm looking forward to your next review.

Previously:

_"Thank you for your concerns Ma'am." Grumman handed the folders to Mustang. "But I'd rather you not go off on a tirade in matters where you have no place." _

_"Umm, Great Uncle Roy?" Jaxith asked meekly. "What's this?" He held up a condom he had noticed while staring at the floor. _

Chapter 5: Illustrating a point

Mary Sue said nothing when she looked upon the condom. She walked over and plucked it out of her son's hand. Examining it, she turned to Roy with a vicious look. It was the look a hawk gave the mouse just before it went in for the kill. It was this expression that scared Grumman enough to carefully set the small stack of papers by the door and leave.

"Oh ma'am. That's mine." Hawkeye stood up and dashed over, quickly taking the condom from Mary Sue.

"Yours?" Mary stared at her in disbelief.

"Yes mine. It must have fallen out of my purse…." Hawkeye trailed off realistically. "You see I have a boyfriend that wanted to take the relationship up a step and I was going to drive him off with that condom. You know how freaked out boys get when you start swinging protection in their faces…."

"Oh." Mary blushed. "Well, good luck with that."

"What's a condom for anyways?" Edward asked again.

"You don't know?" Was the somewhat offended answer from Cindy. "Roy…." She growled.

"Err… yes?" He asked his sister.

"You're telling me a young man in the military doesn't know what a condom is, let alone how to use one!? Are you hoping he's going to be getting girls pregnant!?" Cindy roared with a terror that rivaled Izumi.

"…He's too mono-focused to be interested in the opposite sex?" Roy whispered. "Do you want me to do something about it right now?"

"Yes!" Cindy snatched Edward and Jaxith by the collars of their shirts and presented them to Roy.

"Uh… follow me…." Roy muttered, a little stunned. With jelly legs Roy made it his way out the door, the other two following him.

"Use the bathroom on the seventh floor boss!" Havoc called as the door shut.

"Why not eighth floor?" Fuery asked innocently after the others left. "I mean no one goes up there…."

"Because that's just why! If someone wants to go jack off while on duty they'd hit the eighth floor. But no one thinks to use the seventh and its just as empty!" Breda explained.

"…That is really disturbing to hear…." Hawkeye broke the awkward silence that followed.

"Just goes to show how smart they are!" Mrs. Mustang remarked. "They don't let getting aroused get in the way of their work!" This gave all the males in the room an excuse to blush.

"Its nothing to be ashamed of, you are _men_ after all." Mary spat acidly.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye?" Alphonse spoke out, drawing all eyes unintentionally on him. "Who replaced Lieutenant Colonel Hughes?" The military officers faces' grew dark.

"Brigadier General Maes Hughes was succeeded by Lieutenant Colonel Frank Archer." Falman explained in a quiet, meek voice.

" 'General?' " Al was confused.

"When someone dies in the line of duty, like Hughes did, they are usually given a promotion or two. It is in the name of 'honor' or something. Personally I think it's a tradition to keep the housewives back home from bitching because their precious husband or son is dead." Havoc explained, groaning.

"I like the honor of the person more than your sorry idea of an excuse." Cindy snorted.

"Out of curiosity ma'am, do you have any younger sisters that are single?" Havoc asked.

"No," Cindy grew curious, "why?" Havoc's face fell.

"You _really_ are desperate!" Breda burst out laughing.

"At least I can get a girlfriend, you dateless loser!" Havoc snapped back.

"But you can't keep them!" Fuery snorted, trying in vain to suppress his laughter.

_**BANG!**_ Hawkeye shot the ceiling.

"Get back to work the lot of you!" She snapped. All the men grew fearful and went back to work immediately.

"Ah! I have renewed faith in this military!" Cindy smiled. "It's got the right kind of lady's touch." She nodded in approval. Hawkeye smiled as she signed a few more papers.

"So what is Lieutenant Colonel Archer like?" Al asked to keep the conversation going.

"He's an ass." Falman snapped, irritably.

"Wow, I never thought I would see the day Falman would tell someone one of his personal opinions…." Breda absently remarked as he organized his papers.

"Saying my mind got me transferred to Central with the rest of you…." Falman pointed out. "Alphonse, you'd do yourself a favor not to associate with the man."

"Ok." Al sighed. He was depressed that someone so terrible had succeeded Hughes.

"Wasn't Hughes Roy-baby's good friend?" Mary asked.

"Yes." Came the tense reply from everyone else in the room.

About ten minutes later Roy came back with an extreme blush. He shut the door behind him and sank to the ground.

"You ok boss?" Havoc asked.

"Jaxith had already figured out most of what I had to say…," Roy began, "Edward was…." He shuddered and didn't finish.

"Was he that ignorant?" Hawkeye asked.

"Yes. He also has no tact." Roy moaned. "I could have lived my life just fine without having to watch him…."

"Wait, are you telling me the kid's never jacked off before?" Cindy asked her brother.

"Yes. He made me guide him through the process so he 'wouldn't make a mistake'. Oh God, I did _not_ have to see that!" Roy rubbed his temples.

"At least he isn't ignorant anymore…." Al remarked optimistically.

"Cindy, that could have waited for another day." Roy stood up again and drug himself to his desk.

"Where are they?" Mrs. Mustang asked as she stood up. She walked over to Roy's desk and began to put his shot gun away.

"Edward decided he needed to go do some physical activity, so he's out on a run. Jaxith is on the seventh floor sketching the view from the window up there. I gave him my watch and told him to get someone to guide him back here when he was done."

**-on the seventh floor-**

Jaxith was had already sketched the view from the window. He even had sat down and sketched a few more of the more interesting features in greater detail. Examples of such were the state alchemist exam field, the parking lot, the shooting range, the running track, and Edward.(1)

The young Skibbereen had remembered the beautiful image from earlier in perfect detail. Since his great-uncle had given him permission to indulge in his artistic passions, Jaxith let his inspiration flow. He smiled and began to hum as he worked furiously to recreate the image. After a few more minutes of hard work there was a beautiful picture of Edward laughing on his sketch pad.

"Its not lively enough…." Jaxith muttered and pulled out his colors. He made remarkably short work of it, but he was successfully able to recapture the brilliant colors of the scene. Once he was done, he cleaned up and put away all his things. Jaxith glanced out the window at the black dot that was Edward on the track.

_Wow, he's fast!_ Jaxith observed. He turned and made his way back to his great-uncle's office. Everyone forgot how observant Jaxith was, because the boy never needed directions to get to a place he had already been too. He cracked the door open to hear.

_**"What do you mean you left my son unattended in a house full of ruffians!?"**_ Mary screamed.

"Wha-?" Jaxith gasped, dropping his things in surprise. Several soldiers ran to the door.

"What is going on son?" A tall, tanned man with an eye patch asked Jaxith. Jaxith just quivered and wished he would curl up and die right there.

"Mary calm down he's-" Roy tried to pacify his niece-in-law.

_**"Jaxith is a fragile boy! Leaving him unattended is irresponsible of you!!"**_ Mary wailed.

_"Ma'am!_ Calm down!" Hawkeye demanded.

"It sounds like Mustang has bitten off a little more than he can chew…." The man remarked, chuckling.

**"Don't you dare point that gun at me!"** Mary screamed.

"Lieutenant stand down!" Roy ordered.

_Smack!_

Silence.

Jaxith opened the door a little wider to see that his grandmother had smacked his mother.

"Mary Sue, calm down." Cindy told her. "Being hysterical is not going to help us find Jaxith any quicker." Mary opened her mouth to retort, but promptly shut it again. Roy glanced around the two women to see make eye contact with Jaxith. Roy walked over and opened the door the rest of the way. He looked down at his great-nephew and affectionately ruffled Jaxith's hair.

"I'm sorry that I upset your mother. Don't worry, we'll work it out." Roy smiled warmly.

"Colonel Mustang, isn't today your day off?" The man asked.

"Fuehrer sir!" Roy snapped at attention, embarrassed. Suddenly the room went quiet.

"So who is this lad?" Fuehrer gestured to Jaxith.

"This is Jaxith Skibbereen, he's my great-nephew." Roy explained, setting his hands on Jaxith's shoulders. "He's going to be moving in with me soon."

"Ah." Bradley nodded.

"Jaxith, this is Fuehrer King Bradley." Roy introduced Jaxith.

"N-n-nice t-to m-meet y-you s-s-sir." Jaxith bowed and stuttered.

"It is a pleasure to meet you son." Bradley shook Jaxith's hand. "Are you interested in perusing a career in the military?"

"I don't know yet sir." Jaxith quietly answered. "I came here to get schooled."

"Ah, well if you ever get interested the door here will always be open for you." Bradley finally took note of Roy's sweater. "Did your mother make that for you?"

"Yes sir." Roy answered quickly.

"It came out very nice, is it warm?" Bradley was honestly curious.

"Extremely toasty." Roy smiled weakly. "At the moment unbearably hot, but come winter I know I'm not going to be an icicle."

"You think its warm enough to withstand the winter at the Briggs?" Bradley sounded joking.

"Yes sir." Roy answered with all seriousness. "I actually know that it is toasty enough to withstand the Briggs' winter. My fifth cousin Major Lance Dunklin is stationed up there, my mother outfitted him with a sweater. He's never cold."

"Can I get her to make me one?" Bradley asked.

"Ask her yourself sir." Roy kindly stepped to the side. Mrs. Mustang approached Bradley, with a smirk on her face.

"I overheard y'all out there," she began, "so you need one of my sweaters son?"

All military personal stood agape at Mrs. Mustang's behavior towards the Fuehrer (except Mustang who knew his mother all too well).

"Er, yes I would like one." Bradley wasn't sure exactly what can of worms he had just opened up. He had heard several horror stories involving people from the west and now he was living one.(2)

"Hmm." She looked him up and down. "Why do you need one?"

"I would like to have one when I have to head up to the Briggs, or any extremely cold place for that matter." Bradley did have enough sense to use honesty with someone from the west. He did have two generals from there and they did not take well to dishonestly.

"Ah, and why can't your mother or wife make you one then?" Mrs. Mustang was honestly curious.

"My mother passed away a long while back and my wife doesn't knit." Bradley signaled Roy to see if he was doing the right thing. Roy signaled back that he was. "I don't have a daughter either."

"Oh!" Mrs. Mustang gasped. "Shame on your wife for not being able to knit! Don't worry son, I'll make you one. You'll have it before the snow comes." She pulled a measuring tape out from her pocket. "Now hold still while I get your measurements."

The entire process of measuring took all of five seconds. Bradley found himself ruffled in ways he never thought possible. Mrs. Mustang quickly walked back to the couch. She reached into her bag and pulled out some green yarn and her nettles. Within moments there was the quiet sound of clicking that is commonly associated with knitting.

"Thank you for that Colonel. I'll be seeing you back in the office on Monday then?" Bradley made motions to leave.

"Of course sir. Have a good day." Roy saluted and the Fuehrer left. Then the Colonel let out a breath of relief.

"I can't say I've seen that happen before." Havoc remarked on behalf of the rest of his comrades.

"Wasn't that the Fuehrer?" Mary asked, herself a little stunned.

"Yeah." Roy walked to his desk, wrote some things on a memo, then handed the paper to Havoc.

"What is this sir?" Havoc raised an eyebrow.

"Some of my single lady cousins' phone numbers." Roy explained. "Since you're so pathetic when it comes to a date I thought I'd let you have a chance at ladies I wouldn't touch in a million years."

"Are you actually helping me get a girl?" Havoc stared at him, stunned.

"Yes." Roy snorted. "What else would I be doing disclosing my cousin's numbers to you?"

"There's like 30 numbers here…." Everyone else gasped at that bit of information.

"They're all your age…." Roy remarked absently.

"How many cousins do you _have?"_ Breda gasped.

"First, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, or tenth?" Jaxith asked. All the military personnel stared at Jaxith. "I can trace my family tree back to the discovery of this continent, can you do that?" The boy gave a smug smirk, looking freakishly like his great-uncle.

"And of course because we know our tree back that far we can trace our relatives. I know all my 15th cousins if you are very curious." Roy explained in his western accent.

"You're both worse than my grandmother…." Havoc sputtered.

"Tasha Lappin is my only first cousin on that list." Roy assured his subordinate. "And Breda, I have 1,258 cousins that I know by name and face."

"Remind me never to underestimate the size of your family." Breda stood there wide-eyed.

"Ninety percent of them live in Clayston." Cindy added with a smile.

"And don't worry Mary Sue, I will be taking Jaxith back to visit regularly." Roy added quickly.

"You make it sound like Jaxith's stay here is a done deal." She eyed Roy carefully.

"But isn't it?" Edward asked as he walked into the room, his hair wet from a shower. "I mean we moved in his things to his new room, he's been introduced to his surrogate family, I don't see why he wouldn't be staying here."

"You may be decently bred boy," Mary began, "but none of these ruffians are. And with the stunt Roy just pulled I doubt he'll be able to take care of my son." Mary glared at the Colonel.

"Mother," Jaxith began nervously, "I told the Fuehrer I was going to be staying here to study." Mary grew pale. "Please don't make a liar out of me."

Cindy, Roy, and Mrs. Mustang sucked in a tense breath. For them it was the moment of truth.

"No, of course not. I won't make a liar out of you." Mary gave her son a hug. "But are you sure you want to stay here?"

"Yes mother, I want to stay here and live with great-uncle Roy." Jaxith smiled. "I like it here."

"Then you will stay." Mary kissed her son's forehead. "And you have my blessing. But-" she swung Roy a ferocious look, "if there is any issue I want you home as soon as possible."

"Of course mother." Jaxith hugged her, happy.

"Then as your first new friend in town," Ed began, "welcome to Central Jaxith!" Jaxith's eyes grew big at the thought of someone as important as the Fullmetal Alchemist considering him a friend.

"Welcome to Central!" The rest of the office chorused.

"Now my dears," Mrs. Mustang began, "what we doing about dinner?"

I loved getting Bradley all nervous! He later tells the other homunculi about his brush with a force that he feared. Sadly that moment will not be featured here unless requested. Did I cover the sex education properly?

1- Admittedly Jaxith did not have a pair of binoculars on him so instead he used a good helping of his imagination.

2- One of the many horror stories includes the 'Dead Possum Incident'.

Please review.


	6. Meal Time, Class Time

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: Yes I did check my mail, no I do not own FMA.

Recap: The movement of truth! Mary Sue gave Jaxith her blessing to stay in Central!

Other Stuff: Whoo! I'm officially back from France, going to college and whatnot! I am currently looking for a Beta reader, so please contact me if you are interested. I finished The Other Exams, you can find it on my homepage. It won Kumori Con '07's Best Cannon. I also started another story called Fullflame, its rated M and is a cross-over with Loveless. I plan to try and stick to a once a week update (usually on the weekends), if I have extra time during the week I will update then. I hope everyone had a great summer!

Previously:

_"Welcome to Central!" The rest of the office chorused. _

_"Now my dears," Mrs. Mustang began, "what we doing about dinner?"_

Chapter 6: Meal Time, Class Time

Roy Mustang was the kind of man that counted his blessings and took little for granted. Ishbal had made him into that man, he won't deny it. Every morning he awoke thinking 'I am blessed to be alive'. Right now, as he made the short drive from headquarters to the restaurant, he was counting his blessings with an unusual amount of vigor.

Blessing one: he was alive and well, mentally and physically able. Blessing two: he had a supportive and loving family with a hometown he could retreat to. Blessing three: his eldest sister was a goddess. Blessing four: the Elrics were in the bed, not the cab. Why was the last a blessing? Simple, Roy's dear mother was telling all the embarrassing and horrible stories from his childhood. His sister had convinced her that these stories were not suitable dinner conversation.

Blessing five: because of all his dating, he knew all the restaurants in Central. Blessing six: he knew the manager of this particular restaurant well enough to have been able to give the man proper warning. Blessing seven: parking!

"We're here!" Roy called as he put the truck in park.

"Finally!" Ed leaped out of the back. Al shook his head and followed. Roy caught his sister's arm before she, being the only other person in the truck, left.

"Thanks." He was grateful. She winked and got out.

Roy himself climbed out of the truck, locked it up and rejoined the group. Jaxith was explaining to Edward the concepts of a game called 'smashing'(1). Roy remembered his experiences with 'smashing' usually wound him on the ground with a face full of dirt. It was a crude game that involved tackling and throwing a watermelon around. Edward seemed fascinated, which to Roy was rare as alchemy seemed to be Ed's only interest.

"And you have to set the watermelon on the ground past the lines to get a point!" Jaxith waved his arms up in excitement. "And if it falls down and doesn't break its still in play!"

"That must be a difficult game to play, watermelons break really easily…." Alphonse observed from the side.

"Well, no most of the time we stop playing when someone gets covered in watermelon, then we eat it." Cindy shrugged. "We usually just play to get the watermelon open."

"You make it sound like watermelons are tough over there…." Ed eyed her, suspecting something.

"One of my ancestors found a way to breed watermelons that were extra sweet-" Roy began.

"-And extra tough skinned!" Mrs. Mustang finished. Ed blinked.

"Wow." He marveled at the thought.

"Come on!" Roy called as he walked into the restaurant. Quickly, his mother shooed the others in behind him.

The restaurant itself was clean and homely on the inside. It wasn't a fancy place, but Roy knew there would be something on the menu that everyone would like. There was a soft, yet frantic tugging on Roy's sleeve. He glanced to the side to see Edward looking a little panicked.

"Hmm?" He whispered.

"Al!" Ed squeaked in a hushed voice.

"Shit!" Roy muttered loud enough for his mother to hear.

"I thought I told you not to use that kind of language in front of me young man!" She snapped in a motherly tone, which just confused everyone else.

"I just remembered that I forgot to pick up my paperwork, cursing is highly appropriate for a military officer when he does things like that!" Roy also realized that, indeed, he had forgotten the paperwork that Grumman had intended to give him. He put his hands in his hair in frustration.

"Oh crap!" Ed yelled as if something had just dawned on him. "Al, we forgot your meds!"

"…Meds?" Al stood there a little confused.

"You know Al! Your meds! We went to the doctor yesterday and you got some for that stomach issue you've been having lately! Don't you remember?" Ed's hands were frantically signaling 'play along'.

"Alphonse! How could you forget that you were at the doctors?" Roy groaned, having caught onto Ed's plan.

"Oh! Right! Sorry!" Al figured it out. "I just I'll just have to run back to our room and get them…."

"Say, could you pick up my work too?" Roy asked him very sincerely.

"Sure! I'll just eat at the cafeteria, don't worry about me!" Al waved frantically and ran out before the Mustang family could make any remark.

"That was… interesting." Cindy remarked.

"He's a strong boy!" Mrs. Mustang observed. Jaxith took time to blink.

"Oh, its okay, me and Al run around a lot. He's got a minor stomach bug right now." Ed explained. "He'll be fine by the end of the week but he has to take his meds."

"You take such good care of your brother." Cindy observed. Ed beamed with pride.

"Thank you ma'am." He smiled.

"Your parents must be proud!" Mary Sue added with a 'smile' of her own. Ed's face fell at parents. An oppressive silence fell onto the group.

"Your table is this way," the waiter explained to Roy, "please follow me." Everyone numbly followed the man. He was bald, fat, and wore a nice white shirt with clean black slacks. He had red eyebrows and a scruffy goatee. Everyone sat down, the silence amongst them thick. The waiter handed everyone a menu robotically.

"I will return later." He assured them then scurried away quickly.

"…Are you okay?" Jaxith broke the silence looking at Ed. Ed's face was impossible to read as he had allowed his bangs to conceal it. Ed took a long breath.

"Sorry, it never really stops hurting." Ed admitted.

"What happened?" Cindy was honestly concerned. Ed choked on his breath, petrified by the question.

"They're gone." Ed managed to say.

"Then we need to know no more." Mrs. Mustang decided. "Your family's affairs are not ours." Ed looked up to her, grateful.

"You are a wonderful brother and strong soul," Mrs. Mustang continued, "if there is more to be said, do it when you are ready."

"Thanks." Ed muttered.

"Besides this is a happy occasion," Roy reminded everyone, "this is to celebrate Jaxith's move to Central! Now lets eat something!" Suddenly everyone found the menus to be appealing. The dinner itself was uneventful. Everyone's food came out perfectly, the talk was basic question and answer about how things had been since the last time the family had seen one another. There were also a few questions directed at Edward about his travels, as well as many 'visit us down in Clayston!'.

The only tricky part of the end of the evening would be getting everyone back to their beds. Edward, staying in a military dorm, was significantly out of the way; which in turn mean that Roy was going to be getting into his bed extremely late (not something he wanted). Roy took everyone back to the hotel were the family piled out and bid Roy and Ed goodnight, completely oblivious to the Colonel's predicament.

"Well Fullmetal," Roy began, "thank you."

"No problem." Edward smiled lightly. "Jaxith is really smart and intelligent and hardworking and not lazy and-"

"If you're going to insult me, do it directly." Roy cut him off, grumpy. Ed laughed.

"Fine bastard." Ed snorted, amused. "I liked Cindy Lynn and Jaxith."

"Not my mummy?" Roy seemed a little distraught.

"She kind of started petting me half way through dinner…." Ed sweatdropped. "And that's just creepy."

"Okay, you win that one." Roy nodded. "But when she's being less weird, she's not a bad person right?"

"You sound desperate." Edward observed.

"She's my _mother_." Roy gave him a look. "You'd do the same thing." That caught Edward by surprise. He hadn't realized that 'mummy' and mother were the same thing. And, much to the disgruntlement of Edward, Roy was right.

"Yes, she's a fine person. I wish I could've seen her when she was younger." Mrs. Mustang had been full of fascinating stories that gave one the impression she had been quiet the adventurer in her youth.

"I do too." Roy sighed. "You should hear the stories she doesn't tell."

"Eh?" Ed's expression said it all: 'how's that work?'.

"Pa always told them to me." Roy smiled. "That was back when he could still remember."

"How old are your parents?" Ed was curious.

"Mummy is 77 and pa is 82." Roy explained.

"Wow." Edward had a sudden appreciation for Roy's mother. "Your mother had you when she was 47?"

"Yeah, nuts ain't it?" Roy laugh. "She's grumpy that I'm not married yet. I don't really want to have as many children as she did, and she sadly doesn't realize this."

"Anyone who has more than two is a brave soul." Ed nodded.

"She had babies until she had a son," Roy explained, "it's a big deal to have a boy. Boy's carry the family name and all, out West they have a different value in society. That's why Jaxith is causing such a large stir, if it was a girl I wouldn't have heard about it. She would have just been married off and the problem 'solved'."

"That's backwards!" Edward gasped.

"That's the West, Ed." Roy looked somber. "That's why I left."

"Ah."

"Now I have a problem that has nothing to do with the West…." Roy began.

"What?" Edward's eyebrows raised up.

"I have to get you back to the dorms and get to bed at a reasonable hour…." Roy moaned at the thought to tomorrow.

"How's about I just walk back and you go to bed?" Ed was nearly laughing. "I've done worse treks across this city." Roy laughed.

"And here I was sweating over the solution!" The Colonel shook his head, amused. "I'm going to head back then."

"You don't need me tomorrow for anything, right?" Ed asked before Roy could drive away.

"Not to my knowledge," Roy paused, "but knowing my family I can be proven very, very wrong."

"That's not a comfort." Ed glared at him.

"You can't pick your family, Fullmetal," Roy eyed the boy, "do remember that."

Roy gunned the engine and drove off. Ed sighed, put his hands in his pockets and hiked back to his dorm.

**-break-**

It was six thirty am.

**BRING! BRING!**

It was by any decent person's standards-

**BRING! BRING!**

-too early for the phone to be ringing.

"Dammit! _Al!"_ Ed grunted from his pillow. The ringing stopped, making the teen sigh in relief and fall back asleep.

"Brother! That was the Colonel!" Alphonse called from the other room. "He says you have to be ready to meet him by seven hundred hours!"

Edward glanced at his open watch. Six thirty three. It took Edward two seconds to process what that meant.

"Oh shit!"

**-break-**

"Good morning!" A not-very-well-rested Roy Mustang called from the driver's window of the truck. Ed responded with an unintelligible grumble.

"Rise and shine morning sun!" Cindy called from the passenger's window. "Its time to go to school!"

" 'School'?" Ed managed to raise his head up. "Wha?"

"That's right! We're touring schools today! Hop in!" Mrs. Mustang called from inside the cab. There was a nearly inaudible 'they don't have to come….' from Jaxith that was unanimously ignored by everyone else in the cab.

Ed and Al exchanged looks of horror. This would be the first time they set foot in a school in six years.

And the last time hadn't been a good experience.

--------

Sorry the update was a little late in coming, I just couldn't get my inspiration and computer troubles to coordinate this weekend! I'm still looking for a beta and I promise the next chapter will be better.

1- Smashing is what we would call rugby. Except it is played with a tougher than rocks watermelon. And the definition of a foul is a broken bone or severe bleeding.

Drop me a review in the meanwhile.


	7. Hall of Dreams

-1**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to anything! Yay!

Recap: Al narrowly escapes an awkward moment, while Ed and Roy enjoy an after-dinner musing.

Other Stuff: I have a beta reader now! His name is Gioll, and please be very kind to him. I'm sorry about the last chapter, it wasn't my best work. This one will be much better, rest assured. I promised one of my reviewers I would make them laugh so hard they'd fall out of their chair, I intend to keep that. So don't sue me if you have stitches after this.

Previously:

_Ed and Al exchanged looks of horror. This would be the first time they set foot in a school in six years. _

_And the last time hadn't been a good experience._

Chapter 7: Hall of Dreams

"So…." Ed began, unsure what to say. He wanted to yell and rant for being woken up at six thirty to go on a school tour, but that wouldn't have gone over well with either Mary Sue or Roy. He wanted to sleep, but Jaxith had that pleading puppy eyes look that convinced Ed to stay awake for his friend's sake. He wanted to know why he'd been hauled here, but remembering his conversation with Roy the night before getting a satisfying reason could very well be impossible.

"So, how y'all this mornin'?" Cindy asked, her Western accent especially thick that morning.

" 'M not that fin ma'am…." Roy grumbled, groggy his Western accent slipping into his speech.

"Ah dint ask _you."_ Cindy glared at her brother.

"Lovely day!" Mrs. Mustang commented, though that comment was only understood by the Clayston natives due to the sheer thickness of the accent.

"Well, me and Ed are fine this morning ma'am." Al answered Cindy's question not knowing what Mrs. Mustang had said.

"Ah see!" Cindy smiled. "Gettit movin' Roy-boy!" At this the back of Roy's head was promptly smacked.

"Yes'am!" He stood at attention and saluted his sister. Al poked Ed.

"No making fun of the Colonel!" Al hissed as he reminded his irritated brother to keep himself in check.

"I can hardly understand these people!" Ed hissed back, frustrated.

"I like the blue coat!" Mrs. Mustang commented, again her accent making her words beyond the understanding of Ed and Al.

"Just buckle your seatbelt so I can drive away." Roy groaned, today was not a good day to be him. There were a few clicks that sounded as though the last of seatbelts were clipped in.

"Jaxith, could you shut the window?" Roy glanced back to his great-nephew.

"But I want to talk to Ed!" Jaxith admitted.

"He wouldn't be able to hear you that well," Roy gave Jaxith a stern look to prevent himself from being interrupted, "I'm sure he can explain to you exactly how that works if you are curious later."

"Yessir." Jaxith gave Ed an apologetic smile and shut the window.

"I wonder if Jaxith will lose his accent…." Al pondered.

"His accent?" Ed said loudly to be heard over the now started truck engine.

"I mean the Colonel doesn't usually have one, he only slips into it when his family is around. Every other time we've seen him he doesn't have one." Al pointed out. "I know Westerners have all sorts of different values than we do, so it might not be a good thing if he loses it."

"It doesn't seem to affect the Colonel that much, so I'm not going to worry about it. It's Jaxith's problem in the end." Ed gave Al a flat look in response to the appalled look Al usually undertook when he thought Edward was being unjust. "We have enough of on our plates Al."

"You're right I guess…." Al admitted.

"Besides I think the best thing we can do for him is to be friends, Mustang's the one that's going to be working on those other problems of Jaxith's, or at least pretend that's what he's doing…." Ed sweatdropped.

"I think the Colonel will be helping Ed, after all deep down he's got a sense of Western morals." Al was being insightful again. Ed smiled wryly.

"You're right Al, you're right." He admitted.

**-break-**

Ed recognized the building right away when Roy pulled the truck into the parking lot. For Edward, this building was the landmark he used to get from the Hughes residence to Headquarters. It specifically marked the only turn in the route, which is why its exterior was burned into Ed's memory. But for all the years he had walked by the building and studied its outside, he never once thought to contemplate the inside.

When the car stopped and people started getting out Edward decided to comment.

"I never knew this was a school…."

Roy raised his eyebrows in mild surprise. "The fact that you can see boys and girls your age sitting in rows through the window never once tipped you off?'

"Shut up!" Ed hissed. "Its too early for insults."

"Fair enough." Roy agreed. "But if you start, I'm going to accept that invitation."

"Deal." Ed stumbled, not being as coordinated as he'd claim he was when he was lacking sleep. To this Roy had to hold back a snort.

"So which one is this?" Mary asked politely of her uncle-in-law.

"The Flamel Academy."(1) Roy looked up at the building he too used a landmark.

The Flamel Academy was four stories high with a red brick exterior. It had a few ancient marble pillars that climbed up the sides of the building, as if keeping the brick from falling out. The windows were large and Victorian in style. The building had a sense of timelessness that always made one respectful in its presence. It had been one of the first buildings in Central and was keep fully furnished and renovated. This academy was one of the biggest draws to Central, more so than the military base.

"Six years, huh Al?" Ed forced a smile.

"Yeah, six years." Al agreed.

"Y'all commin'?" Roy asked them from the front door that he was about to go into. Ed blinked at the sound of Roy's accent, it wasn't as thick as the others but his wording was the same.

"Yeah, yeah." _I hope I don't start speakin' like that…._ Ed thought as he and Al hurried over.

The interior made everyone have a double take.

It was pink. Not just any pink, that hot pink that is commonly associated with the 80s. This intense pink covered the walls of the hallway, trimmed with neon yellow. A carpet with wild jungle print was laid across the floor. The ceiling was disappointingly white.

"…I didn't know paint came in that pigment…."(2) Ed's instincts were telling him to run, making his body begin to twitch in nervousness.

"I don't think this is a good school…." Roy remarked, this having been his first time in the building. He had a feeling that he would be having nightmares about this room later.

"…!" Jaxith's eyes were bugged out. This was by far the strangest thing he had seen in his life.

"…The heck?" Cindy found this room as disturbing as that Armstrong fellow Roy worked with.

"What a wonderful color!" Mary Sue squealed. "I have never seen such a full shade of pink!"

"Do you like it?" A man appeared from behind startling everyone. He nearly got roasted, impaled, and rammed through with a sharp knitting nettle (the last one curtsey of Mrs. Mustang). He of average height and clothed in brown. He had a comb over of red hair and a western style mustache.

"Why isthat waoll pank son!?" Mrs. Mustang growled making her especially bad accent grow worse.

"I'm sorry I don't quiet understand you," the man explained, "could you repeat that?"

Roy and Cindy paled.

"'M sorry sir, my mummy hasn't had her tea this mornin' sir." Cindy explained, trying to lift her accent up and make herself a little more comprehendible.

"Oh I see! You must be Victoria Mustang!" The man held out his hand. "I'm Roger Cartwoll, the principal here. I heard you were coming. I dear say you look very beautiful today ma'am." Mrs. Mustang smiled and shook Mr. Cartwoll's hand.

"Thank you sir." She hummed happily. Roy and Cindy both let out a sigh of relief.

"Excuse me sir," Al stepped forward getting Cartwoll's undivided attention, "why and how is the wall that pink?"

"Ah! This is the Hall of Dreams." Mr. Cartwoll swung his arm in a wide gesture. "The paint and pigmentation was developed by our alchemy and chemistry departments. It was painted these colors in memory of Anies Treshall, who died in a recent automobile accident."

"Oh." Was the general chorus.

"She was the one who discovered this color and set out to make it." Mr. Cartwoll set his hand against the pink hall. "We won't keep it this way forever, but she would have wanted people to see it."

"That makes sense!" Jaxith exclaimed. "It is a very impressive color, I like it." Ed looked at Jaxith like he grew another head.

"You could paint the perfect sunset with it…." Jaxith had that starry glassy eyed look that people get when their imaginations are being over active.

"One could, perhaps you'd like to see the rest of the school?" Mr. Cartwoll began to walk forward, smiling. "I think I need to be introduced, there's many more of you than what I was expecting!"

"Oh yes!" Mrs. Mustang clapped her hands. "These two are my children, Roy Andrew and Cindy Lynn." She pointed at her children.

"Nice to meet you sir." They chorused, much like children did. Edward suppressed a laugh at Roy's middle name.

"This is my granddaughter-in-law, Mary Sue Skibbereen." Mary bowed and smiled.

"This is my great-grandson Jaxith Howard." Jaxith bowed, growing extremely nervous and shy.

It was about then they stepped out into a cream colored hall lined with rust red lockers. The carpet was a nondescript blue. There were a few boys and girls milling about in the hall chatting with one another.

"And these two young'uns, are Edward Elric," she pointed to the correct brother, "and Alphonse Elric. They are friends of family."

"Ah I see-" Mr. Cartwoll was cut off by a student who ran up past him and got right in Ed's face. He was shorter than Edward, with a mass of oily black hair on his head and large box glasses that put Kain Fuery's to shame. The kid blinked his brown eyes once.

"Hi." Ed said, feeling really uncomfortable to have someone with pour hygiene inches from his body.

"As in Major Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist?" The boy asked with a quite, curious voice.

"Yes." Ed said a little more forcefully trying to hint to the kid he wanted some personal space. The hall was silent. The boy smiled.

"You're coming with me!" The kid exclaimed. Edward didn't have enough time to protest, a stampeed of science students appeared as if from nowhere, grabbed him and ran off. Roy blinked afterwards.

_That was more coordinated and better executed than anything I've ever seen in the military!_ That was what scared Roy.

"Um, we kind of need him back…." Cindy was muttering, a little stunned at Ed's kidnapping. Very abruptly the same group stampeded back, took Alphonse and ran off again.

"Hey!" Roy managed to cry out after Al was out of sight. "Gah!"

"Don't worry they're probably in the science wing." The principal explained. "That was the science club just now, they're probably just having him look over transmutation circles or something. I assure you there will be no harm to those two."

"But-" Jaxith began.

"Besides, we're here concerning your education m'boy." Mr. Cartwoll eyed Jaxith. "And even though it would be flattering to have the Fullmetal Alchemist attend here, I think the people need him more."

"I'm not too sure either of the Elrics are going to be looking forward to another encounter with a school if all they do is get kidnapped by the science club…." Roy observed.

**-break-**

Edward and Alphonse knew they were popular and famous they didn't realize just how much. They sat on a table in a room packed with about 200 admirers. All of these admirers were the Elric brothers' age and had a science related question for them. Though it was not hard to oblige them, Edward found it down right annoying at times. Especially when he touched one of the girls and she fainted in happiness.

**-break-**

"-And that is the English wing. Here is our foreign language wing and down that way is our cultural and social science centers." Mr. Cartwoll explained. The school was huge having experts in just about every field teaching there. The fine arts department was extraordinarily good, but Mary Sue forced them to keep their visit to that area short.

Roy had frowned deeply, not liking Mary Sue's choice of values. Jaxith had a right to draw and paint if he wished. They spent extra time at the gym and around the sports teams. Jaxith held minimal interest in these areas.

When they arrived at the science wing it was strangely deserted.

"Okay, this is not funny." Roy glared at the principal. "Where are the Elrics?"

**-where the Elrics are-**

"Combustion, huh?" Ed remarked after he was asked a question on that matter. "I'm not too sure that isn't my area of expertise…."

Suddenly Ed was struck with a cruel idea. "But it is Colonel Mustang's." Blank stares. "You know, the Flame Alchemist? He was with us today, why don't you bring him in here?"

Half of the room rushed out.

**-back to where the Mustang family is-**

A horde of student rushed around the corner and came right up to Roy and Jaxith. There was muttering of discontent and discord amongst the crowd.

"Where is Fullmetal?" Roy asked one of the students, irritated.

"Oh he's in the auditorium, there wasn't enough room here for everyone." One of the students answered.

"Why don't you lead the way?" Cindy injected quickly. And so they were lead to the Elrics. The family entered a large auditorium full to the brim of science students. On the stage a table had been set out; it was on this table Ed sat. Al was standing next to him by a chalkboard drawing circles. The entire room was a buzz with murmurs of approval and whispers of deep scientific discussion.

Ed was looking out across the room and smiled when his eyes landed on Roy. It was that 'I'm _so_ going to enjoy this' smile. Roy shivered, unsure of just how afraid he should be.

"Glad to see you could join us Flame!" Ed's voice carried clearly over the heads of the students while he waved to Roy. The use of his alchemist name caught Roy off guard, hardly anyone used it.

"Fullmetal," Roy grunted, "what are you doing here?" Edward chose to continue his smirking as his arm dropped to his side. When the automail hit the table it clacked. That clack brought the room to complete silence. And in that silence 12 students stood up, grinning ear to ear.

It was then that Roy's instincts and training told him to _**run!!**_ But before he had the chance the 12 students seemingly teleported in front of him. Within seconds the Colonel was hoisted into the air and carried down to the stage. Roy blinked again and found himself sitting on the table next to Edward, who much to the annoyance of the Colonel, was still smirking.

"Welcome." Ed told him warmly, his golden eyes glittering with mischief.

"Hi." Roy said for a lack of a better word.

"Sir could you tell us about how the ratio of oxygen to nitrogen affects the temperature of the flame caused by the explosion?" One of the students asked, holding a pen and paper at the ready.

"Could you tell us what material burns best?" Someone else, just as eager, asked.

"How exactly does one little spark cause such a large explosion with your alchemy?"

"What would changing the main triangle on your circle to a hexagon on your array do?"

Roy's eyes grew wide. His jaw dropped open slightly at the eagerness and intelligence behind the students' questions. He glanced at Edward, who was humming pleasantly.

"You brought me here to put me on the spot didn't you?" Roy asked him quietly. Ed hummed extra loud. "Twirp!"

"What, you can't answer their questions?" Ed asked in mock-horror.

"Yes I can!" Roy huffed.

"Then do so!" Some student shouted, impatient and annoyed.

Roy flashed an apologetic smile to his family, took a deep breath and began answering.

**-break-**

"Remind me how I got here again?" Ed asked Alphonse. Ed's automail ankle had a rope tied to it, this rope was tied to a tree, and due to the relative placement of Edward and the branch the rope was latched onto, he was upside down.

Now Edward is a very comical person to look at upside down. His hair tie had come out at some point during the tying onto the tree, which left all of his long hair to dangle. Unfortunately, it Ed was not high enough off the ground to keep the ends of his hair from brushing the dirty ground. His face was slightly flushed from all the blood rushing to his head and from the prior struggle. His jacket had been removed from his flesh arm, but was still covering his automail one. The part free of an arm dragged on the ground like his hair was. Somehow those tight leather pants Edward as so found of wearing had the leg rolled down past his knee on the automail side. To put the icing on the top of the cake, Edward had crossed his arms across his chest and was scowling.

"Umm, the Colonel asked them to tie you up just this way for a demonstration?" Al answered, knowing full well that this was Roy's revenge for being put on the spot.

"I'm going to kill that bastard next opportunity." Ed hissed.

"Alphonse! Move out of the way!" Roy called from across the playground they were currently standing (or hanging) in. The Colonel proudly pulled his gloves out of his pockets, posing carefully all the while. The young girls were swooning, squealing all the while.

"Al, why do girls squeal?" Ed asked. It was then he noticed that Al had moved away from him.

"Dammit!" Ed yelled, at both Roy and Al.

"Now observe just how quickly he reacts!" Roy smiled and snapped his fingers. There was a blue arc of alchemic energy that reached all the way across the playground to where Edward hung. A pause. All the air around Edward seemed to grow heavy and press against him. It was especially heavy and hard near the rope, but Edward couldn't really detect that. Soon more alchemic arcs focused around a spot just before Roy. The air there grew red and angry.

It was then Ed's muddled mind realized what was occurring. The pressure and seemingly extra heavy air was due to the extra condensing of oxygen that flame alchemy required for large explosions. The spot before Roy that was growing angry and warm was what he called a 'battery of fire power'. That description was highly accurate. Roy was manipulating the air and gases around the small flame he had previously created using the spark. This manipulation of air made it super-heated and extra dense, almost solidifying it. All that had to be done at that point was for Roy to release the noble gases from around the flame allow it to react with the other air to create a super hot and pure flame.

Ed gulped.

The ball gave one more angry flash, then burst. White hot flame ripped across the air towards Edward at an alarming rate. Edward took in a breath, clapped his hands, then separated them creating his automail blade. With a quick contracting of his abs, Edward bent over on himself to reach the rope and cut himself free.

Upon touching the ground, Edward ran perpendicular from the flame. Students who had come out to watch started cheering, caught up in the excitement as the military men had been about six months prior to Ed and Roy's bout. When the white flame reached the extra oxygenated spot, it grew and curled into an even hotter ball, turning blue.

Edward decided now was a good time to start running back towards Roy. The Colonel smirked again, arcs crossing the air all around the playground. Skidding to a stop, Edward frowned and clapped his hands together, altering the air patterns. The Flame alchemist frowned, out of concern for Fullmetal doing something dangerous more than him having messed up his plans. The white ball spit apart violently, trashing and raging across the playground in a somewhat uncontrolled fashion.

Edward eeked a little when the flame nicked his automail shoulder, melting the plate instantly. He stared at the damage to his arm in wonder, as it cooled immediately and rendered the entire shoulder joint pretty much useless. Glancing around, it occurred to Edward that Roy was focusing on taming the flame, not on trying to kill him.

"Shit!" Edward muttered realizing this was all his fault. _Dammit!_ He was not a happy camper.

Arcs flew from Roy's glove making him look extremely impressive and furious. Awestruck students began clapping, somewhat ignorant of the amount of danger they were in.

It took Roy five minutes to refocus the flame and get it completely under control again. Sadly, the exchange for that was that the ball grew bigger and hotter. Onyx eyes scanned the playground for something to burn, knowing that would lessen the flame enough to safely disperse it from the air. His eyes found the tree Edward had been previously dangling from.

_**Boom!!**_

Both the blue ball of fire and the tree were gone. Cheers erupted from the students. Edward wearily sat up, having had fell to his back avoiding the flames. He looked around, glancing at the tree that was no longer there. Jaxith was madly sketching a picture of his great-uncle with all the arcs emitting from his glove. Now the young Skibbereen turned his attention to drawing a picture of Edward, with singed clothes and automail, the world's worst hair day, and a fine layer of dirt and grime all over him. Somehow Jaxith found beauty in that, how to this day we are still unsure.

"That's my boy!" Mrs. Mustang cried over the crowd patting her son on the head. Roy blushed in embarrassment.

"T-thanks." _I think…._ He thought to himself.

"Colonel Mustang sir," Mr. Cartwoll approached the Colonel, applauding politely, "as wonderful as this educational experience has been, I think we need to stop being destructive for a moment. Do me a favor and remind them what they are to be learning then come and meet me in my office."

Roy felt like a child that had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He turned and addressed the students.

"The one thing you should take home today is to not play with fire unless you are a professional!" Roy called over the cheers, having them turn to laughter. "And that especially goes to Fullmetal!"

**"I'm not deaf!!"** Edward bellowed in his self-defense.

**-break-**

"So how was the principal's office my baby brother?" Cindy asked Roy as he came out looking ashamed.

"I'm not a baby…." He muttered under his breath, glaring at his sister.

"But isn't granny 21 years older than you?" Jaxith asked innocently, making Roy turn blue and be crushed.

"I'm not a baby!" He snapped at Jaxith childishly.

"It appears as though a school reverts the once mighty and mature Colonel Mustang into nothing but a child…." Edward sounded very scientific and serious.

"…Shut up Fullmetal," Roy then smirked and whispered, "unless you want a pay cut."

"Bastard." Was whispered back.

"Well I have to pay for the tree." Roy announced. "And we are to leave the property as soon as possible before the scientific population here gets out of control."

"So where are we going now?" Al asked innocently.

"The other school- oh what was it called?" Mary Sue put a finger to her chin in thought.

"The Armstrong Academy."(3) Roy answered, shuddering.

Ed and Al remembered the sparkles with shudders as well.

--------

Seven pages, that makes this one two pages longer than the last! Extra length just for you.

1- Symbol on the back of Ed's jacket. In ancient times, the Flamel was a symbol of an alchemist that had learned and achieved much. The respect and knowledge of a Flamel alchemist is said to be greater than that of a State Alchemist. The Flamel Academy received its name from the many Flamel alchemists that once taught and studied there. In modern times the academy has grown to accommodate other subjects and still strives to be world renown for its scholars.

2- This is the 1910s, there is no hot pink.

3- The Armstrong family has many traditions, one of which is teaching.

This entire chapter was wrote around the concept of Edward being hung upside down. I hope you enjoy, drop a review please!


	8. Hall of Nightmares

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to anything! Yay!

Recap: Ed and Al get kidnapped by the science club, Roy blows up a tree.

Other Stuff: First off, on my DeviantART page (see homepage on my profile or search Lunaros-Valkiri) there will be soon a picture of a few of the members of the Mustang Family (please don't request the entire family, that's way too many people). Featured people are: Jaxith, Mary Sue, Cindy Lynn, Roy, and mummy. All of whom are drawn as they would be if left to their own devices. I plan to get access to a scanner Friday, it should be up then.

Warning: This chapter contains an excess amount of sparkles (the recommended daily dosage is …none… according to the Amestrian military professionals). Too many sparkles may induce seizures or strong desires to go get yourself plastered at the nearest bar.

Previously:

_"The Armstrong Academy." Roy answered, shuddering. _

_Ed and Al remembered the sparkles with shudders as well._

Chapter 8: Hall of Nightmares

"Here you go." Cindy shoved a box into Ed's stomach. She then spun around and handed Al one as well. "Eat on the trip over." With that she hauled herself up into the truck. Jaxith piled in after his grandmother with his mother at his heels. Roy helped his mummy into the front seat and walked back over to the Elric boys.

"She made us lunch…." Ed remarked thoughtfully, having opened the box to discover its contents.

"Yeah. I apologize in advance." Roy bowed his head slightly.

"Well I'm not really that sorry about the alchemy thing earlier. Consider it advanced payback." Ed groaned at the thought of Armstrong sparkles.

"I did." Roy moaned again. "Thankfully Mary Sue will choose the school then I'll wash my hands of the deal and be done."

"Why'd we have to come along?" Ed asked, that having been irked by that the entire time.

"Jaxith wanted your opinion as a friend, and Mary wanted your opinion as an educated individual." Roy sighed. "Normally I would have put up a fight but I think Jaxith was asking for you to come to hide how nervous he felt about meeting new people. He does always do better in social situations when he has a friend at his side."

"Oh I see." Ed was again thoughtful. He then glared at Roy. "But you're still going to send us into a building full of sparkles."

"Wasn't my idea, trust me." Roy assured Ed as he wearily stumbled to his door and got into the truck. The engine started and they were off again.

"Oh well…." Ed looked back to his lunch. It was fried chicken, fried ham, corn beef hash, and sausage, which all also appeared to be fried.(1) Alphonse had the same thing.

"…Is there anything healthy in here?" Ed whispered, awestruck.

"Nope." Al double checked his box. "I wonder if it tastes any good…."

"Well it _is_ a free meal." Ed wolfed down his meal and stopped.

"You aren't going to eat mine?" Al asked, a little stunned that Ed wasn't hungry.

"I'm full." Ed was stunned himself. "Very filling stuff."

**-break-**

"Welcome!" A large woman bellowed, red sparkles adoring the sky around her. Roy suppressed a grimace.

"Thank you ma'am." He responded casually.

"Teaching has been a long tradition of the Armstrong family for generations!" The large woman continued to prattle on, her red curls bouncing.

Ed leaned to the side in an attempt to see around the woman and her sparkles. Finding himself in a very careful balancing position, Edward was able to catch a glimpse of the building. It was a gray building with many statues of members of the Armstrong family posing. The most unique aspect of the building is that it …sparkled….

Jaxith made a noise somewhere between a dieing cat, 'uncle', a moan, and a scream of sheer horror. Ed glanced at his friend.

"You okay?" Ed's eyebrows arched in concern. Jaxith shook his head.

"…I think I'm going to be sick…." The young Skibbereen muttered.

Ed paused thoughtfully. "I admit having met an Armstrong in person does make this place seem a little less intense…."

"I wonder if the students have sparkles too…." Al mused. Jaxith and Ed turned blue and just about screamed at the horror of that thought.

"…Fullmetal, are you coming?" Roy called over his shoulder as he and the older Mustangs had made their way over to it while the younger people in their group muttered amongst themselves.

"Yeah yeah…." Ed called back. He set an arm on Jaxith's shoulder. "Just remember to tell your mom how you feel about the school before she decides to send you here." Jaxith nodded again.

**-break-**

The interior of the Armstrong Academy was remarkably plain, that is if you excluded the sparkles that came off of and surrounded everyone and thing that can be encountered within the halls. If you included the sparkles you would have thought the decorations to be a little too eccentric and tacky.

Cindy Lynn have moved to the rear of the group when Edward had tried to run away. She now patrolled the group's progress, keeping her eyes on the boys in back. Because she was a little behind everyone else no one noticed that something had happened to her until there was an audible and distinct:

**Thwack!**

On the ground was a very strange man. Above him was Cindy looking particularly pissed. The strange man had carrot orange hair and a pair of half moon reading glasses placed across his nose. This man had chosen to tie his long hair into a tall, high pony tail which came down just past his shoulders. He wore a nice, white button up shirt and a pair of old, torn, and stained surplus military pants. To top off the strange look he was wearing leather sandals and lacked sparkles.(2)

"Ungh…." The man moaned, opening his green eyes.

"What do you think you were doing, son?" Cindy glared at him.

"Stepping out of an interview?" He whispered.

"Fine." Cindy walked past him, leaving a glare in her wake. The man blinked twice, shrugged and got up and left.

"Who was that?" Roy asked Ms. Lavender, their tour guide.

"Oh that must have been one of the potential math professor hires!" She explained, her voice constantly booming. "Though being dressed like that, I doubt he's going to get it. We do have a tradition of dressing nicely here."

"Are you okay?" Jaxith asked his grandmother.

"Yes." And they went onward.

Sometime a little while later Mrs. Mustang decided she wanted to stand next to the boys. Now she was being lead on by Ed's automail arm. Not terribly long after that Mrs. Mustang caught sight of a student who was carrying too many books.

"Do y'all see that boy over there?" She pointed one of her bony fingers at the struggling boy.

"Yes." They answered, nodding.

"Now you might now know this, but when Roy was little I often found him with too many books just like that…." She explained.

**-flashback-**

_A younger Roy Mustang was smiling like a child in a candy shop (who looks like he could be Jaxith's twin). Except he wasn't in a candy shop, he was in a library. He walked among the selves, carefully judging and examining each and every book he could reach. After he found an armful of ones he liked, he gathered them up and carried them to a table. _

_Roy walked off and brought back another armful of books. Still grinning, he managed to pick up the other armful and somehow, despite being overburdened, carry the books to the register to get them checked out. The librarian gave the boy a kind smile and stamp each book for him, wondering all the while just how many of them he would read._

_Somehow Roy managed to carry the hefty stacks the entire four blocks home. Once inside his house he was typically greeted by at least one of his older sisters, today was no different. Holding to some unspoken agreement between the siblings, said sister(s) helped him carry the load up to his bedroom. It was there that Roy opened up the book on the top of the stack and started reading. After finishing the book he set it down and picked up the next. That is how he spent the next few hours._

_"Roy Andrew!" The deep, gruff voice of his father called from downstairs. "Come and help me with dinner!"_

_"Yes pa!" Roy called back, his western accent thick and heavy. He then ran down the stairs, two steps at a time, leaping down the last four for kicks. Laughing he ran outside to find his father beside a sausage grinder. _

_The man was old, wrinkled and fully of energy. He had a wiry gray beard and large brown eyes. He was also bald, with a light tan on the top of his head. When Roy finally got beside his father, the huge man would lift one of his enormous hands and pat his son on the head. _

_"Now lesgit to makin' din'er." The man spoke with western drawl._

_"Yessir!" Roy smiled even brighter._

**-end flashback-**

"I didn't know you were a bookworm!" Jaxith gasped at his great-uncle. Roy blushed a little bit.

"Still am." Roy reminded them.

"Most alchemists are." Ed smiled. "I mean I've been reading, or at least trying to since I got hold of one of the books out of my dad's study."

"Ah." Cindy nodded, understanding.

"And here's one of our home economics classrooms!" Ms. Lavender opened a door.

"This reminds of that time when Roy was just a little baby…." Cindy began.

"W-what time?" Roy sounded nervous.

**-flashback, the second-**

_"Mummy, we're studying babies in school." Janet Lane explained after her mother had inquired what she had been studying. Janet had her father's big brown eyes and big jet black hair. She also had her mother's slight build._

_"Really sissy?" Cindy asked her younger sibling from across the table. Within a moment she snapped to her side and smacked her son's hand._

_"Use your fork Atticus!" She reprimanded her boy. Atticus had his mother's onyx eyes but red hair that presumably came from his father. He was a chubby boy._

_"Yes ma." He nodded._

_"Well there aien't a lot to know 'bout babies to learn that you don't already know." Mrs. Mustang pointed out, her face younger and her hair still chestnut brown. _

_There was a loud wail._

_"That'd be your brother…." Mrs. Mustang got up and left the room, returning a little while later with a hiccupping baby. He had a bit of black fuzz on his had and his face was contorted in discontent. _

_"Actually I was wondering if he could come to school. To show everyone what a real baby looks like." Janet explained._

_"I don't see why not…." Mrs. Mustang nodded and began to breast feed her little boy. _

_**-the next day at school-**_

_"And this is my baby brother, Roy Andrew!" Janet held up the sleepy eyed baby Roy for all the class to see._

_"Mawf!" He chirped, growing discontent under all the gazes on him. He began to wiggle in his sister's arms. Soon he slipped out making Janet gasp loudly and curse colorfully as she managed to grab Roy's diaper before he fell to the floor. Unfortunately Roy was now upside down and slipping out of his diaper. With one more wiggle Roy was experiencing free fall again, this time naked. Janet again managed to recover her brother before he met the floor this time grabbing his leg. _

_"Now as you can see, he's a boy." She explained awkwardly afterwards, holding up her naked brother for all to see. There were snickers._

_Baby Roy started to sniff, and in fear and unhappiness he wet himself in front of everyone._

**-end flashback, the second-**

Edward's face had turned red from the effort it took to hold his laughter in. Alphonse was shaking a little, chuckling quietly. Jaxith started laughing loudly, smacking his thighs as he bent over trying to get catch a breath. Roy's face was a wonderful shade of red most people didn't think possible.

"If you're going to laugh, just get it over with!" Roy snapped irritably at Edward, who then burst out laughing, falling to his knees and shaking hard.

"I thought it was a more serious story…." Cindy muttered absently.

"Didn't you change his diaper too?" Mary asked, making conversation while the boys laughed.

"Yes, many a time." Cindy rolled her eyes. "Not as much as I did for Jaxith, but plenty I assure you."

Jaxith stopped laughing and turned pale.

"What, I changed your diapers too." Roy snorted. "There isn't a whole lot to see."

"You changed diapers!?" Edward rolled into a new fit of laugher.

"I don't really see how that's funny, Fullmetal." Roy hissed.

"I don't know why it is either." Alphonse had gotten over his bit of funny and was now contemplating smacking his brother to get him to stop.

"Well as soon as he's done, we're going to stop by the sports fields to complete our tour." Ms. Lavender remarked merrily.

It took Edward another few minutes to stop. Though anytime he looked at Roy just right he'd start snickering again. Soon they arrived at the sports fields.

About the fields were several students running about amongst their sparkles. All games in play were very organized and the kids had a great sense of fair play and sportsmanship. The most notable activities on the field were the 'out sparkle the other person completion' in one corner, the sparkle catch game, and the sparkle sparing match.

"I didn't even know half of those things were physically possible." Edward gasped somewhat mortified.

"Mother, this place scares me." Jaxith whispered frantically while pulling on Mary Sue's skirt.

"I completely agree." And that was how it was a decided that Jaxith would be attending Flamel Academy.

A little while later the group somehow found themselves in front of the truck. Roy was shaking and leaning against the side of it for support.

"I can't drive." He admitted, still shaking.

"I'll do it." Mrs. Mustang had been unfazed by the entire experience, took Roy's keys out of his pocket and got into the driver's seat before anything else could be said.

"I get the boomstick seat." Cindy announced and hauled herself into the passenger's seat. Mary Sue and Jaxith got in the back.

"Hey Ed, could you sit in the back?" Roy asked him quickly. "I don't really want to know what Mary Sue wants to tell me…."

"You sound nervous." Ed observed.

"You would be too, trust me."

"Okay." Ed climbed into the back of the truck and sat down next to Jaxith.

"Oh hey!" Jaxith wasn't expecting Edward to climb in.

"Roy needs a breath of fresh air, I don't blame him." Ed explained and Roy and Alphonse climbed in.

"I don't either." Jaxith nodded, as he took out his sketch book.

"Whacha drawing?" Ed asked.

Jaxith glanced at his mother who appeared to be more interested in what her grandmother in law was saying, then back to Ed. "A picture of great-uncle Roy as a baby in front of the class."

Ed snickered back. "Show me when you are done."

Jaxith drew two pictures during the car trip, the second one was of Edward sleeping against the car door.

--------

Whoo! Another chapter!

1- Just about every meal you east in the South has at least one fried thing it. This is a little bit of an exaggeration, but not by much. Also Southern meals are really filling, even to someone like Ed.

2- There is a lovely picture of this strange man drawing inverted sheep on my deviant art account. You'll get to meet him more later.

It was tempting to do a lot of traumatizing things to them during this chapter but one of my reviewers mentioned 'baby Roy' and thus a plot bunny was born. Now we all know some stories of Roy's childhood, I will assure you that this is the first installment of many.

Drop a review! Make me a happy camper!


	9. Goodbye Old, Hello New

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: I own the characters in this story that do not appear in the Fullmetal Alchemist anime.

Recap: Jaxith is attending Flamel Academy and Roy Mustang gets to experience the humiliation of embarrassing baby stories.

Other Stuff: Picture of the Mustang Family on my deviantART account. It's the homepage on my profile. It is most awesome, do check it out. You can write your comments about it here or there.

Previously:

_Ed snickered back. "Show me when you are done."_

_Jaxith drew two pictures during the car trip, the second one was of Edward sleeping against the car door._

Chapter 9: Goodbye Old, Hello New

"Well now that that's decided, I need to go back and enroll him…." Mary remarked as Mrs. Mustang rounded a corner much faster than Roy would have ever thought possible for the vehicle to perform.

Cindy raised an eyebrow as she glanced in the mirror to see Alphonse smash into her baby brother. "Yes, but make sure you do that before the day it out, we leave first thing tomorrow you know."

"Of course!" Mary huffed.

With the next turn Edward's limp form was tossed onto the unsuspecting Jaxith.

"Great-gram! Careful!" Jaxith called to his great-grandmother as she continued to drive like a maniac.

"I am always careful!!" She then somehow made the truck pop a wheelie.

**"Are you trying to kill us!?"** Roy shrieked from the back and was amazingly heard in the cabin. The poor man was flustered and paler than anyone had ever seen him. Mrs. Mustang then pulled the car into the driveway of the Hughes residence. Jaxith watched in amazement and Alphonse and Roy flung themselves out of the bed as if it was on fire. They both crashed to the ground and then ran away from the truck as fast as their legs would carry them.

Mrs. Mustang huffed, got out of the truck, and knocked politely on the door of the Hughes home.

"Hello." Gracia Hughes, a tall, kind woman with short brown hair and green eyes, answered the door.

"Excuse me ma'am, but do you have a gun I could borrow?" Mrs. Mustang asked as casually as one would if asking for a cup of sugar.

"Er-" Gracia hesitated, "what are you going to do with it?"

"I was going to fire a shot into the air to get my panicking son's attention." Mrs. Mustang explained, to her it was a normal occurrence. Gracia poked her head further out the door to look at who else was inside the truck that this strange Western woman had arrived in. She was mildly shocked to see what she thought was a very embarrassed Roy Mustang with a very asleep Edward Elric leaning against him. There were two other women in the car who were quietly conversing.

"You're a relation to Colonel Mustang?" Gracia asked, never having met Roy's family before.

"He's the son that's running amuck." Mrs. Mustang explained. Gracia was then confused.

"Then who's in the truck?" She eyed the embarrassed Roy-look-a-like.

"That's Jaxith, my great-grandson." Mrs. Mustang nodded. "Now do you have a gun or not?"

"I have a better idea." Gracia smiled. She disappeared into the house and reappeared with a pan and a spoon.

**Bang! Bang! Bang!**

"Come and get your apple pie!" Gracia bellowed into her yard. About a minute later Roy and Alphonse came back to the front yard, covered in foliage and mud.

"Ah! Food certainly does work for that." Mrs. Mustang nodded. "Are you two done making fools of yourselves?"

"Yes." They answered sheepishly, looking much like little boys.

"Roy Mustang! Why didn't you tell me your family was coming to visit!?" Gracia sounded offended and annoyed.

"Er- I was going to call you about that." Roy sounded panicked. "But I didn't expect mummy to drive us here right away…."

"You forgot that you showed me the way here didn't you?" Mrs. Mustang chuckled.

"…Yes…." Roy answered in a small voice.

"Well get inside and clean yourselves up." Gracia shooed the two inside. Mrs. Mustang walked over and stuck her head inside the truck.

"We're here y'all! Get out." Mrs. Mustang reminded them, pinching Ed's cheek to wake him up. The young alchemist let out an indignant squeak and bumped Jaxith's lips on his way out of the truck. The poor Skibbereen sat there, still flushed while everyone else exited the truck.

"So, who is everyone here?" Gracia asked as Edward walked by her into the house without invitation, stretching and yawning as he went.

"Hi, Gracia." Ed mumbled when he was about a step past her. Gracia shook her head at Ed's antics.

"Big brother!!" Elysia Hughes, a bundle of joy that had blond hair put up in two cute pony tails and glorious blue eyes, or so her father would have said. She ran up and greeted Edward, hugging his legs which made him trip.

"Ungh!" Ed moaned from the floor.

"Hello ma'am," Cindy stifled laughter at Ed's antics, "I'm Cindy Lynn Mustang, Roy's eldest sister."

"And I am Gracia Hughes. Roy was good friends with my husband." Gracia shook Cindy's hand.

"I'm Victoria Mustang." Mrs. Mustang gave Gracia an approving nod.

"I'm Mary Sue Skibbereen," Mary explained, "and this is my son Jaxith Skibbereen."

"It's nice to meet you ma'am." Jaxith bowed politely.

"Welcome to my home, come in." Gracia led them into her entryway. During this time Edward had managed to get off the floor and was now holding Elysia. Elysia waved at the new people and began her usual four year old chatter. All of the mothers made a little 'aww' and took their turns congratulating Gracia on her cute girl.

Jaxith wandered into the living area of the Hughes home and began to sketch the scenery. It was around then that Roy came into the living area. He had just stepped out of the shower and was now toweling off his hair. Jaxith's pencil paused as his onyx eyes swinging up to meet with his great-uncle's. Roy was now sporting some clean clothes he had left at the Hughes' house one time a while back.

"Hold that!" Jaxith pointed his pencil at his great-uncle who then stood very still, a little confused. In one fluid motion, Jaxith changed pencils and flipped his sketchbook open to a new, clean page. Soon there was the sound of a pencil scratching. Roy paused and stared, memorized by how intentional and graceful Jaxith made his pencil strokes.

After a few minutes of Roy standing still he was dismissed with a dramatic wave of the hand. Roy walked over, rigorously finishing the drying off of his hair as he did so. Jaxith smiled and showed him a picture of himself toweling off his hair. He looked handsome and alert. Roy's mouth opened into a large 'o' as his eyes opened in amazement.

"That's beautiful, Jaxith." Roy was still amazed by how well it was done. "Could I have a copy of that for my office?"

"Are you sure you walking out of the shower is something you want your superiors to see when they come in?" Jaxith pointed out logically, making Roy a little embarrassed.

"Er- no, you're right." Roy muttered.

"Here, try this one." Jaxith then showed him the picture of him snapping his fingers with the alchemic arcs. It was a dramatic picture that called you into the moment.

"Yes, that is a better choice." Roy nodded. It was about then that the other members of the Mustang family came in.

"Uncle Roy!" Elysia ran over and gave Roy a hug.

"Hello Elysia." Roy patted her head.

"Does this make her my cousin or something?" Jaxith asked wearily.

"Yup!" Elysia gave Jaxith a hug. "Why do you look like uncle Roy?"

"Well I don't know, but he's my great-uncle…." Jaxith explained.

"Ooo! So he's your uncle but he's extra great?" Elysia asked, but before Jaxith could correct her she went on. "Uncle Roy, could you be my great-uncle too?"

"Er-!" Roy wasn't sure how to answer that.

"Elysia, great-uncle means that Jaxith's grandmother is Roy's sister." Gracia explained as she came into the room with the promised apple pie.

"I'm off to find Al!" Ed announced and left.

"He didn't notice the food…." Roy muttered to himself, knowing that Ed would have stayed if he knew where the food was. But that was the reason Ed had left.

Alphonse couldn't eat and enjoy things like apple pie, it made Edward guilty. Since Ed had heard that Al had been traumatized by Mrs. Mustang's crazy driving (that Edward had amazingly slept through), he went to find and comfort his brother.

Alphonse was sitting on the back porch, still dirty, and very board. Ed opened the back door and shut it, making enough noise for Al to realize his presence.

"Hey…." Ed remarked as he walked over. "Looks like you did a number on yourself…."

"Yeah…." Al was a little embarrassed. "I can't clean myself very well."

"Here." Edward clapped his hand then touched Al's armor. Within moments and a few alchemic flashes, Al was clean and shinny.

"Thanks." Al got up and stretched.

"I'm going to stay out here." Ed announced and sat down.

"Ed?" Al was confused. His older brother sighed a little.

"They are lucky." Ed muttered venomously. "They have happy, complete families."

Al paused, now seeing why his brother left. He sat down next to Edward and looked at the stars.

"I miss mom too." Al remarked mournfully. Edward set his automail hand on Al's shoulder, it hit with an audible 'clack'.

"We'll get our bodies back, I promise." Ed told Al earnestly.

" 'Bodies back'?" Jaxith asked, staring with wide-eyes. Ed and Al jumped, startled by the Skibbereen's sudden appearance. He was holding two plates with apple pie on them.

"Ah-" "Er-" "Um-" The Elrics sputtered, unable to grasp words.

"Sorry to have disturbed y'all!" Jaxith bowed, dropped the plates and ran into the house, full of fear.

_Crash!_ The plates shattered on the ground. Ed looked to his brother.

"What now?" Ed whispered quietly, afraid.

"I think we have to clear this misunderstanding." Alphonse looked out in the direction Jaxith had run worriedly.

"Before someone does something dumb…." Edward muttered and began to chase after Jaxith. Al shook his head, leave it to his impulsive brother to get run himself into a bad choice. Al paused, drew two quick transmutation circles, and fixed the plates and pie. He calmly walked into the living room where Ed and Jaxith were playing what appeared to be a game of tag.

"Get back here!" Edward roared, jumping over the couch in order to catch the panicked Skibbereen.

"No!" Jaxith yelled as he ran out of the room into the back parts of the unfamiliar house. Ed went right after him.

"Brother didn't break anything did he?" Al asked, a little bewildered.

"No, but I am wondering what Jaxith did to make Ed out for his blood." Cindy eyed Alphonse carefully.

"He called brother 'short'." Al lied. Roy and Gracia, both having known Al for a while, knew the boy was lying, they exchanged quick glances.

"Sensitive about his height, eh?" Mrs. Mustang chuckled. "Your papa was too when he was the boys' age."

"Really?" Roy's eyebrows raised up.

"Yes, your father was short for his age until he was 20, then he had a growth spurt that put him where he is now." Mrs. Mustang explained with a chuckle.

"Sorry Gracia, but I can't eat apple pie and brother's too busy playing chase to eat." Alphonse handed her the plates.

"Its ok Al." Gracia assured him and took the extra pie into the kitchen.

_**Thump!!**_

"I wonder what _that_ was…." Mary Sue eyed the hallway.

**-with Ed and Jaxith-**

Jaxith unknowingly had ran into the guest bedroom. Edward chased him in, clapping his hands in the process. Ed grabbed the door and swung it shut, alchemic arcs flying off the now fused wall and door. Jaxith's eyes widened in panic.

"You're not going anywhere!" Ed pointed a finger at Jaxith, who immediately ran on the other side of the bed. Edward leaped across the bed and Jaxith dove left. Scrambling on his hands and knees, Jaxith galloped across the floor, whipping around the corner of the bed. Ed grumbled and clapped his hands again, alchemizing the floor so that it would ripple. Jaxith was sent skywards by this and landed on the bed with a 'thump'.

_**Thump!!**_ Edward had leaped onto the bed, landing on Jaxith. It was an awkward position, as Jaxith was on his back and Ed was now straddling the boy's hips with both hands on either side of Jaxith's head. Jaxith blushed, then fainted after Edward scowled at him.

A few minutes passed and Jaxith awoke. Edward had adjusted his position so he was now sitting on Jaxith's stomach with his arms folded across his chest.

"Are you ready to listen to me?" Edward gave Jaxith an annoyed look. Jaxith nodded meekly.

"What I am about to tell you is a secret you can tell _no one_ under any circumstances, get it?" Golden eyes flashed with seriousness. Jaxith again nodded.

**-in the living room-**

"Roy-baby I have to go back and enroll Jaxith." Mary reminded her uncle-in-law.

"Oh! Right…." Roy rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

"Lets go!" Mrs. Mustang got up, grabbed her daughter and began to head out the door. Gracia watched, a little amazed as the rest of the Mustang family followed.

"We'll be back shortly." Roy assured her as he was pushed out the door by Mary Sue.

"Huh?" Al wasn't sure what just happened.

**-in the guest bedroom-**

"When me and Al were growing up we only had our mother. She was a wonderful woman. Strong, beautiful, and kind. We loved her a lot." Ed explained. "When I was ten, me and Al had just come home from a shopping trip to find her collapsed on the floor with a fever…. Mom never got better." Edward choked up a little on his words, the memories intense.

"I'm sorry." Jaxith muttered his condolences.

"Me and Al had been studying alchemy. Whenever we did it, it made mom smile. But after she died, we wanted nothing more than to see her smile one last time." Edward was quiet and melancholy. "So we studied hard for a year and tried to bring her back with alchemy."

Jaxith gasped. "But-"

"We didn't care if it was sin or if it was something we weren't supposed to do. We were confident we could do it and then be a family again." Edward touched his right arm. "And we were so, so wrong."

"What happened?" Jaxith asked, on the edge of his seat with the story, well as close as you can be when you have someone sitting on your stomach.

"We failed."

" 'Failed'?" Jaxith asked.

"I lost my arm and leg," Edward squeezed his automail, "Al lost his body."

"His body?"

"That armor he wears is empty." Edward explained.

"Oh." Jaxith was quiet. Edward got off of him and sat on the edge of the bed.

"So why did you join the military?" Jaxith asked.

"To use their resources to help us find a way to fix our mistake." Ed explained.

"Ah." Jaxith nodded. "You hurt everyday don't you?"

"What!?" Ed spun around to look at Jaxith whose gaze was pointed out the window.

"You're brother is stuck in an unfeeling body." Jaxith observed. "You're doing something no one else has done, or dared to. And you have no family besides Al."

It was Edward's turn to nod.

"I don't have any siblings." Jaxith explained after a long while. "My mother's womb got torn up really bad when she had the still born twins."

"Oh…." Edward was quiet.

"She's never told me what their genders where, I've never asked. It made her really upset, as if she had failed my father." Jaxith went on. "That's why she worries about me, I'm her only child and she wants me to be perfect."

"I see." Edward understood Mary Sue a little better, knowing she was suffering to due her own short comings.

"But," Jaxith sat up and looked at Ed in the eye, "the one thing she always did support was crying."

"Crying?" Edward was confused.

"A real man will cry." Jaxith explained. "But a coward will not, locking it all up inside and destroying themselves because of it."

"Hmm." Ed smiled a little.

"Let's go back to the party, I'm sure everyone's worried." Jaxith explained.

"Just tell people you called me 'short'." Ed spat the last word. "I really hate it."

"Ah, sure." Jaxith made a note to never call Edward 'short'.

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That was a good bit of fun! Hope y'all liked!


	10. Departure and Homecoming

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: Why do I bother with this if the situation hasn't changed from the way it was for the last 9 chapters?

Recap: Jaxith learns the Elrics' secret, and Roy almost winds up getting the wrong picture for his office.

Other Stuff: Still got that picture up. If someone wants a preview of the next few chapters, they can submit some fanart to me of the various stuff Jaxith's been drawing this entire time.

Previously:

_"Just tell people you called me 'short'." Ed spat the last word. "I really hate it."_

_"Ah, sure." Jaxith made a note to never call Edward 'short'._

Chapter 10: Departure and Homecoming

With a small clap of the hands, Edward and Jaxith walked back down the halls of the Hughes residence. It did not take long for either boy to navigate back to the living area. The sight that greeted them was Alphonse and Gracia explaining to Elysia the difference between 'uncle' and 'great-uncle'.

"You know Jaxith," Edward began as he watched the scene, "it might be a little easier on people if you just tell them you're Mustang's nephew."

"And not add the 'great'?" Jaxith looked at Edward, mortified.(1)

"I don't know why it's a bad thing." Ed gave him a flat look. "But most people will think it a little odd because not everyone here has families as big as yours."

"Ah." Jaxith realized how strange a big family might appear to others.

"That's why you simplify." Ed grinned. "Besides, your great-uncle's pretty dang young to have a great-nephew your age."

"That's true." Jaxith admitted.

"I get it!" Elysia announced, making Al and Gracia sigh in relief.

"Mama, can me and big brothers and cousin J, go and play outside?" Elysia asked.

" 'Cousin J'?" Jaxith seemed a little blue in the face, slightly mortified by the nickname.

"I'm afraid she's always going to call you that." Edward sweatdropped, after all it was typical behavior of a child that young.

"Yay for me." Jaxith retorted sarcastically.

"Come on! Let's play!" Elysia grabbed their hands and begun to lead the two boys outside. Gracia just chuckled.

**-sometime later-**

A very tired Roy Mustang pulled the empty truck into the Gracia's driveway. He got out, looking more exhausted than he had in years, and walked up to the front door. There he banged his head against the wood, making a nice knock sound. Thankfully for him Gracia had heard the truck pull in and opened the door.

"Are you okay?" She inquired at the sight of a very, very tired Roy Mustang.

"They're leaving tomorrow." He smiled, half crazed.

"Come in, you need a nap." Gracia led the man into her home. Edward and Jaxith were discussing techniques for drawing straight lines in great detail when Roy and Gracia entered the living room. Alphonse and Elysia were on the floor playing with dollies.

"You look like shit." Ed was more than slightly stunned at the sight.

"Language!" Gracia reminded Edward, who then blushed and clapped his hands over his mouth. Elysia laughed and giggled something one the lines of 'big brother's in trouble!'.

"Are you okay?" Jaxith asked, concerned for his great-uncle's welfare.

"You're staying at my apartment tonight." Roy told Jaxith. "I'm not driving back to the hotel."

"Okay."

"We'll walk back to the dorms again, you look like you need your sleep." Alphonse felt sorry for Roy.

"And Fullmetal," Roy slipped into being serious, "your presence will not be needed tomorrow."

"Why?" Edward asked, as he had been hauled around just about everywhere with the Mustangs, why not see them off?

"Because it's a family moment." Roy explained. Al and Ed nodded in understanding.

"Thank you for having me, Mrs. Hughes." Jaxith bowed to Gracia on his way out.

"Its nothing, come by later." She told him.

"Be seeing you." Roy waved as he and Jaxith left. Soon the two were in the truck headed back to Roy's apartment.

"Great-uncle?" Jaxith asked part way through the trip.

"Yes?" Roy kept his eyes on the road.

"Is it really okay for me to tell people that you are my uncle?" Jaxith asked.

"Yes, of course."

"No, I mean without the 'great' part." Jaxith explained. Roy chuckled.

"I would have asked you to do that for me, but someone beat me to the punch. Who was it?" Roy's eyes were laughing more than the rest of him.

"Edward."

"Fair enough. And yes you may, I would rather you do that. Less complicated." Roy nodded as he rounded a corner.

"Ah, I see." Jaxith muttered.

The rest of the drive was in a comfortable silence. Both males piled out of the truck and began to head up the stairs to Roy's apartment.

"Uncle Roy?" Came awkwardly off Jaxith's tongue.

"Yes?" Roy smiled, encouraging his great-nephew for trying.

"Why is your bedroom ceiling lower than the rest of the apartment?" Jaxith asked, remembering that detail. Roy paused as he put his key into the newly fixed lock.

"The Elrics did it, I know that much." Roy muttered, not really wanting to know why his bedroom currently had a lower ceiling. With the door now open, Roy pulled the key out and stopped and stared at it.

"I need to get you a copy of the key…." Roy observed.

"Yup." Jaxith chimed. "Gr-Uncle Roy?"

"Yes?" Roy asked, amused.

"Do you know when I'm starting school? And how I'll be getting there?" Jaxith asked, with large, innocent eyes.

"You'll be starting school next month when the new tern starts. I'll get headquarters to issue me a car and I'll drive you in the mornings. Not too sure how you'll be getting back home though…." Roy laughed. "I guess I have a month to figure that out, eh?"

"Yeah." Jaxith nodded. He walked into his new room, feeling a little ill at ease in the unfamiliar space. Having the familiar objects helped, but Jaxith still felt out of place.

"You've never been outside of the Big House, have you?" (2) Roy inquired.

"No, I have not." Jaxith admitted.

"The first move is always the hardest," Roy reminisced, "but once you're over it, it won't ever bother you again."

"So this is 'home' now?" Jaxith seemed concerned.

"Yes, and be thankful you have one." Roy reminded his nephew. Jaxith raised an eyebrow, a little confused. "The Elrics don't have one." Roy explained cryptically and then left for his bedroom. Upon chasing his uncle into the hall, Jaxith observed the clear dismissal of Roy's shutting of his bedroom door.

"Who are the Elrics really?" Jaxith whispered to no one as he climbed into bed. With a quick glance out the window at the night sky, the young Skibbereen took some comfort in the fact that no matter where he went, the same sky would be watching over him. It was that comfort that allowed Jaxith to shut his tired eyes and finally fall asleep.

**-the next morning at the train station-**

Jaxith and Roy stood next to each other on the platform, each taking turns to hug the family.

"Atticus will be visiting in a while, to make sure you're settled in." Mary Sue assured Jaxith, her son nodded happily. Roy mentally groaned realizing he no longer had a guest bedroom to lend out.

"Roy Andrew," Mrs. Mustang addressed her son seriously, "we're all putting our hopes on you. Don't you disappoint me."

"I won't mummy." Roy saluted her. "I would never let my family down."

"Then when Jaxith visits this summer he'll have improved, right?" Cindy demanded more than asked of her brother.

"I promise." Roy saluted his sister.

**"Final boarding call for Train number 2304, west-bound!!"** Was announced after the train in question blew its whistle twice.

"Goodbye." Everyone said at once. Cindy led her mummy onto the train and Mary Sue clicked up the rear. She paused before disappearing into the train, to give her son one last worried look, then disappeared.

About five minutes later the train pulled out, quickly becoming a speck on the horizon. Jaxith found tears welling up in his eyes. He turned and looked his uncle in the eye, before letting them fall. Roy smiled and put a hand on Jaxith's shoulder.

"Why does it hurt!?" Jaxith cried.

"Goodbyes always hurt." Roy told him. "But they get easier the more you do them."

"I feel lost." Jaxith sniffed.

"You've just been thrown into a big city with just a crazy uncle at your side," Roy smiled, "you'd be crazy not be."

Jaxith smiled a little through his tears.

"Come on, we have do make some final arrangements, like getting you your key." Roy gave Jaxith a playful smack on the back and the two were on their way.

**-one week later-**

After his first week, Jaxith finally considered himself 'adjusted'. In that time he had learned the basic layout of Central, including how to navigate to important places, like school, Headquarters, and the Hughes Residence. At Headquarters he learned where the shooting range was, Roy's office, and the male dorms.

During that same first week Roy made some adjustments himself. Normally, Roy would cook two huge meals at the beginning of the week (as that was the only way he knew how to cook them) and divide them into portions for each day. One meal was breakfast, the other lunch (he always had a woman to take out to dinner). Jaxith on the other hand, coming from a much smaller family setting, could cook single portion meals. Roy was infinitely grateful for this, as he now could finally enjoy some verity during the week.

Jaxith's school schedule was decided fairly quickly. Roy would drive him to school in the mornings on his way to work (which resulted in Roy actually arriving at the office on time, much to the delight of Hawkeye). In the afternoon Jaxith would be either picked up by one of Roy's command and taken to Headquarters were he would stay until the office got off work. At this point Roy would take him home. Of course Jaxith staying in the office involved a decent bit of paperwork, but Roy found the rewards worth it in the end. Hawkeye had arranged Distributions to actually get off their bums and issue Edward a desk. In reality it was Jaxith's desk for homework and whatnot, since Edward wasn't going to be around enough to use it as such.

Also during the week Jaxith had 'sketched' each member of Roy's command in action (3). These sketches were now in frames on the wall for all to see. The Fuhrer had come in and complimented the artist while Jaxith was away in the bathroom. Roy had been counting his lucky stars that Jaxith was not present, as he had quickly learned the boy had the strangest reactions to praise. It could be anything from trying to be overly humble, to yelling in anger and bickering about how terrible something looked, to breaking down and crying. Havoc had made a very bad joke comparing Jaxith to a pregnant woman; no one thought this was funny, especially Jaxith who had attempted to get Roy's shot gun from beneath the desk in retaliation.

It was decided after that attacking Jaxith's minuscule ego and large western sense of pride was a lethal idea. Strangely the only people who could get away with complementing Jaxith's work, or teasing him without some over-the-top reaction were the Elrics. This, Roy had decided, was because they were his peers and both where remarkably charismatic. Roy also noticed Jaxith held some especially strange behavior only witnessed around adults, to which one could blame the harsh realities of the inacceptance of Jaxith back in Clayston.

Roy rubbed his temples, moaning slightly. He certainly had cut out a lot of work for himself. Jaxith was probably the biggest basket case he had ever encountered in his life. On the other hand, having the nephew around did add a certain splash to the office. For one thing the pictures he had drawn were unlike anything else ever scene in Headquarters.

Breda's picture was of him sitting before a large map with trop placements, thinking very hard. Jaxith had chosen to put a dramatic angle on it, to make Breda not only look a little less heavy, but significantly more important. To add to the eye candy, Jaxith had used colored pencils to put some select shading on the image, giving it a majestic feeling.

In Fuery's he sat on the floor between a switchboard and a telephone he was re-wiring. His eyebrows where furrowed together in deep concentration. To add to the effect, Fuery had a headphone over one ear, and off the other. In this particular moment it looked as though he was multi-tasking, as one hand was messing with the phone, the other was adjusting the connectors on the switchboard. On this one Jaxith had left Fuery uncolored, but shaded in greys, while the objects were colored in realistically with paint.

The picture for Falman had him standing before a crime scene examining it both thoughtfully and thoroughly. In Falman's shadow were some words and definitions the man was famous fore reciting. The crime scene had been colored with paint, which had allowed Jaxith to blur it, making it confused-looking. Falman and his shadow had been painted in watercolor, making both seem like a ray of light and clarity. It was by far the most abstract of the pieces.

Havoc's was one of him in varying poses of things he was good at. Aiming his rifle, working at his desk, hauling something heavy, uniting a little civilian girl and her mother, and bandaging up some other solider. The first pose was just a sketch in pencil. The next one had been inked with and shaded in pencil, then inked and colored in with colored pencil, and the last one had been painted with so much realism that most people did a double take and ask if that was a picture that had been pasted there.

Hawkeye's (to no one's surprise), was one of her shooting. It was an amazing one as you were looking down the barrel of her gun into her burning, sharp eyes. Everyone agreed that Hawkeye was at least twice as scary as the picture was in person. Jaxith had spent several hours afterwards pouting over the fact that the Hawkeye in the picture wasn't nearly scary enough. Roy told Jaxith that this was a good thing because he didn't want people scared out of his office if it could be prevented. Jaxith had chosen to paint the gun realistically, as well as Hawkeye's amber eyes, while the rest of the picture had been lightly colored with pencil.

Roy's was, of course, the dramatic and flashy one of him using his flame alchemy. Jaxith had added to the sketch all of Roy's subordinates, backing him up, even Edward. Roy was in color which had been oddly enough, done in crayon (not that one could tell unless they were an inch away from the paper). The subordinates where all in black and white charcoal, with their eyes colored in with drops of paint.

And Edward's-! Edward had one of him with a book in one hand, drawing a circle in the other. In the background were the smiling faces of the people he'd helped and various transmuted sculptures catching 'bad guys'. Edward had been colored in with paint, this time in a soft, more impressionistic way. The background had been colored in pencil, but realistically. The most remarkable thing about Edward's was that Jaxith had spent twice the time on it.

Probably the most miraculous thing about the pictures was that Jaxith hadn't made a mess making them. There was the exception of the time when Hyatte had decided to steal on of Jaxith's uncapped vials of paint. Needless to say Edward had been stuck with the job of removing the forest green from the cream colored office. Roy did admit afterwards that the entire office owed Ed a favor for that one.

Together lined up on the wall the Fuhrer had examined them. It turned out that in his youth Bradley had been an art buff, which made Roy even more thankful that Jaxith was not in the room. Abstractly each piece had different emphasis, Breda's emphasized the individual, while Fuery's emphasized the importance of the work. Havoc's represented what it meant to be a solider and took also brought out why one was a solider by the realism given to the scene where the little girl was being returned to her mother. Hawkeye's contrasted Havoc's by reminding everyone of the seriousness of the job. Roy's reminded commanding officers that though it's great to be flashy and all, your subordinates are just as important as you (to which Ed found a nice poke at Mustang's ego). Finally Ed's brought everything together by showing the results and their importance.

"If he could make these bigger and the soldiers more unidentifiable, I would like a set of these arranged in the front lobby." The Fuhrer had told Roy very honestly.

"I'm not sure you could get away with making Edward's more universal sir." Roy pointed out. It was commonplace knowledge that Edward easily did the work of entire units by himself out in the field.

"Well, no." Fuhrer Bradley conceded. "I doubt we'd want anyone but Hawkeye in hers either."

"I'll pass it on all the same sir." Roy assured his Fuhrer.

"Thank you." Bradley and Jaxith passed each other at the threshold of the door. Jaxith walked over to the one of Roy and adjusted it slightly, finding it not level on the wall. He nodded in approval. Everyone started laughing, having found that every cute. To this day Jaxith isn't quite sure what was funny.

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Another update, inspired by Tears of Eternal Darkness for demanding that I update soon. Reviews do have a habit of inspiring me, so write one! I'll update sooner!

1- Western thing, the exact relation to you and someone else is often more important to know than that person's name. For Jaxith this is going against a big cultural no-no.

2-Big House is, in this case, the Mustang family mansion. It comes from plantation times, usually being the large building where the owners lived. Most of the time it winds up serving as a hotel for family during reunions. Technically Roy stands to inherit this property.

3- At least that's what Jaxith called them.

The extremely long descriptions of the art is important to the story, that's why I took the care to do it. Being an artist myself, I do know how this stuff is supposed to look. If I used a term you don't know, let me know and I'll clarify. And should I write a tiny Halloween one shot for this?


	11. Crisis!

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: I own my own characters.

Recap: Roy's family finally goes home! Jaxith puts an artistic splash in Mustang's office

Other Stuff: I did write a Halloween one shot that goes along side this story. Its called The Art of Asking Nicely should you want to read it.

Previously:

_"Thank you." Bradley and Jaxith passed each other at the threshold of the door. Jaxith walked over to the one of Roy and adjusted it slightly, finding it not level on the wall. He nodded in approval. Everyone started laughing, having found that every cute. To this day Jaxith isn't quite sure what was funny._

Chapter 11: Crisis!

It happened at 14:12 that Wednesday. The moment the office had been expecting, the moment Jaxith had been dreading, and the moment the Elrics had been waiting impatiently for. Most had been anticipating the usual rituals revolving around the moment, which is why when it became a crisis, everyone was thrown off their feet.

At 14:12 on Wednesday, Edward Elric burst into the office with his younger brother, embarrassed, following in tow. Jaxith had been sketching Hyatte, who was sitting very still and perfectly. The smashing of the door into the wall as Edward violently kicked it open, had caught the young Skibbereen off guard. In the new found excitement, his pencil had gone flying and knocked Havoc's bottle of water over. The bottle of water had fallen away from Havoc's paperwork, but managed to splash a good bit of water on Hawkeye's.

Jaxith also let out a yelp of surprise, which had woken the sleeping Mustang. When Mustang is suddenly woken out of sleep he tends to snap his fingers and light something nearby on fire (which is a habit he trained in during Ishbal). Today's object happened to have been the innocently passing by Fuery. Now that Fuery's pants were on fire he dove to the floor and began to smoother his pants using the stop, drop, and roll method.

Falman, who had been innocently carrying a stack of paperwork that literally came up to his nose happened to have been walking to his Colonel's desk. Unfortunately for Falman, Fuery was now unknowingly at his feet. Needless to say, Falman soon found himself and the paperwork all over the floor.

Edward stared, paling at the sight. The logical side of his mind remarked that the blame for all of this could definitely be put on him, as had he not burst in Jaxith wouldn't have reacted as he had. The other, more impulsive side of Edward's mind was jumping to his defense, after all how was he to know that Jaxith was not only in the room, but would react as he had?

Alphonse just hopped that no one would be injured too bad come the end of what was looking to be a long, long day.

Colonel Mustang had been quick to jump back on his feet and take control of the situation. He immediately got out of his desk and around it to see the condition of his subordinates. Falman was suffering from a minor friction burn on the tip of his nose and Fuery has some second and first degree burns on his legs. Not to mention both men's pants were heavily singed and the carpet was in definite need of replacing.

"Breda, Havoc!" Mustang barked. "Carry the Master Sergeant down to the infirmary, he's got second degree burns." Roy helped Falman to his feet.

Hawkeye stopped glaring at her now wet paperwork and walked over to where Fuery had been recently removed from the floor.

"Hawkeye, help Falman clean up and organize this mess." Mustang told her, she saluted and got on her hands and knees with Falman. Both were picking up and organizing the large mass of papers.

"Fullmetal." Roy eyed the white-faced boy, not too sure why Edward was nervous. "Do you know a way to remove water from paper?"

"Sir!" Edward squeaked, his nerves taking control of himself. What the Fullmetal Alchemist was currently afraid of was Hawkeye's wrath. He clapped his hands and put the water back into the bottle where it belonged. Edward then capped it for security.

During that time Roy had approached Jaxith and inquired as to what had just happened. Jaxith explained he had been startled by a 'loud banging noise from behind' and had thrown his pen and yelped. The pen was quickly discovered to be the source of the wet paperwork problem. The yelp had woken Mustang (he was too used to Edward kicking doors open to have been woken by that). Roy knew why he had selected the innocent Fuery as his target, he had been moving and close by.

Jaxith also explained that Fuery had landed at Falman's feet, which is why Falman tripped. Now the young Skibbereen was fearful, assuming he was in large trouble for all the damage.

"You're not in trouble." Roy explained with a sigh, a little exasperated with Jaxith's constant assuming anything he did deserved punishment. "I'm in more trouble than you."

"But-" Jaxith protested.

_"I_ lit my subordinate on fire. Not you. Not your problem." Roy told Jaxith very a matter-a-factly. Jaxith still looked guilty.

"I'm the one that woke you…." He pointed out.

"I'm the one that wasn't in control when I woke, my problem." Roy stated finally. He turned to Edward.

"Fullmetal, my office. Now." Roy snapped at the blond. Edward followed Roy in, purposely avoiding Jaxith's gaze. Edward knew he was in for it this time.

The office door slammed shut ominously.

Jaxith started crying, becoming very upset. Falman and Hawkeye exchanged looks, not entirely sure what should be done about Jaxith. Having the boy come to the office for the last week and a half exposed them to a side of the West no one really wanted to see. Roy had explained that boys that weren't 'manly' enough became the shame of society. The ending result of this shame was a universal rejection, even from the family.

"The worst of the horror stories you don't hear is what they do to people like Jaxith." Roy had stated that simply. "I'm sure he needs serious psychiatric care."

Alphonse, who was good with upset people walked up and set a hand on Jaxith's shoulder.

"Its not your fault." Alphonse told him. "Its no one's fault really, a bunch of things happened at once. You can't control that."

"But if I hadn't-" Jaxith sobbed.

"You know what my brother would do right now?" Al asked the Skibbereen. Jaxith shook his head.

"He'd smack you on the side of the head, tell you to get over it and move forward." Al grinned.

"Forward?" Jaxith sniffed.

"Me and Ed lost our mother, our home…." Al trailed off not letting his silence make the comment about their bodies. "The only place we can go is forward."

Jaxith looked at his knees, thinking deeply about it.

"Forward." He tasted the world on his lips, his tears stopping.

"Yes." Al told him.

"Al you know about people from the heart area right?" (1) Jaxith met eyes with the armor.

"Yes?" Al wasn't sure what the question meant.

"Do you know if I will be beaten if I am to be punished?" Jaxith asked quietly. Hawkeye and Falman both stood up, gasping.

"Certainly not! Under Act 2359, Section 356, Amendment 45, no child has the right to not be beaten by their parents or guardians."(2) Falman recited. Hawkeye let out a small sigh when she saw the look of confusion on the young boys' faces.

"What he means is that there are laws in place that protect children. If you are beaten by a parent or guardian then, by law, you can press charges on your parents for abuse." Hawkeye explained.

"So I won't be beaten?" Jaxith asked, his eyes wide with amazement.

"You will not be." Hawkeye told him flatly.

"Have you been beaten in the past?" Falman asked. "We could start an invest-"

"No." Jaxith told him, giving him a determined glaze that was often seen on the face of Roy Mustang. "What happened in the past stays there, now is the most important time, right Al?"

"Yeah…." Al sounded a little concerned with the fact that Jaxith had been beaten.

**-meanwhile in the back office-**

"What happened?" Roy asked Edward, deadly serious.

"I burst in." Edward wasn't going to not admit that, he always did it. "Jaxith yelped and threw his pen, then you woke up…."

"Thank you." Mustang told him very professionally. "Do you have any idea what the hell I'm supposed to tell my superiors?"

Edward knew Roy was referring to the burning of Kain Fuery. As is the blame would fall on Mustang which would probably result in a demotion and other consequences. Even though Edward was a brilliant person, he was not particularly good at giving advice for things like this.

"This is my fault." Edward told Mustang. "And I will take responsibility for it."

"That's very adult-like of you." Roy smiled a little, realizing that Edward had been growing up recently. "But how exactly are you planning to get out of a court-martial?"

"Do you have a lead for me?" Ed asked.

"That has nothing-" Roy was serious and annoyed.

"-It has everything." Ed told him, being just as serious.

"Yes." Mustang held up the offending folder.

"Then I'll be taking that." Edward snatched it out of Roy's hands.

"And you will be doing what with that?" Roy raised an eyebrow.

"Taking it with me," Edward grinned, "you are going to reprimand me when I get back, but right now, for the safety of the nation, I have to be out in the field. If I have the mission folder, they can't back check it to see how relevant what I am doing is."

"I would have never thought you to be a loophole expert." Roy chuckled. "Though you will be getting a public reprimand for this situation, and be paying Fuery's medical bills."

"And you'll be shoving me some money under the table." Ed eyed Roy. "How the hell was I to know that you were going to light the guy on fire?"

"Now you're playing the guilt trip game." Roy glared at Ed. "I suppose you would know all about that as your brother-"

"Leave Al out of this." Edward hissed dangerously.

"Why not? Al's a big boy, he can take care of himself- unlike someone I know…." Roy smirked.

**"Who are you claiming is so small that he can't take care of himself!?"** Edward roared, being heard loud and clearly in the outer office.

"I don't know, I can't see anyone who's that small…." Roy continued to smirk and tease the Elric.

**"You bastard!!"**

**-outer office-**

Jaxith's eyes were as big as dinner plates. "What is happening?" He gasped.

"The same thing that always happens when Ed leaves for a mission," Falman explained, "he and Colonel Mustang bicker for a while. Ed usually yells loudly and storms out of the office a little while later."

**"You say that again and I'm going to kill you!!"** Edward roared.

"Does he do things like that when you call him-" Hawkeye saved Jaxith from having Ed's anger veered his way.

"Yes, this is a very typical reaction for Ed, assuming he's not trying to punch your face in…." Hawkeye had a small sweatdrop.

Falman set his stack of papers down and sighed. Hawkeye set hers on top and both nodded, the paperwork issue closed. Al handed Jaxith back his pencil and complemented his drawing of Hyatte, who had been sitting very obediently the entire time.

**Bang!** Edward threw open the door to the inner office.

"Common Al!" He snapped, irritated and angry.

"Where are you two going?" Jaxith asked mildly.

"Field work." Edward hissed, shooting a glare at Mustang. "Then onto our lead."

" 'Lead'?" Jaxith was confused.

"Mustang, you explain!" Ed shot back at his superior officer.

"Are your legs too short to carry you to the door?" Roy asked, looking smug. "Or is it your tiny attention span?"

**"Who are you calling so short that flies dwarf him!?"** Ed's face was red with furry.

"No one?" Jaxith looked confused.

"Dammit! Al, let's go!" Ed stormed out into the hallway. Alphonse began to follow his brother.

"I think we'll be back in two months or so. See you!" Al waved and left.

"What!?" Jaxith gasped.

"Edward and Alphonse are searching for ways to restore themselves." Roy walked up to his nephew and set his hand on the boy's shoulder. "They never stay in one place very long."

"But-" Jaxith was hurt.

"Goodbyes are hard." Roy reminded Jaxith. "And though we humans are selfish beings it isn't fair for us to ask someone to drop everything that they have going on in their lives for our sake."

"No." Jaxith agreed.

"Besides, would you want them to stop journeying?" Roy looked Jaxith in the eye.

"No, but-" Jaxith stopped himself.

"Jaxith?" Hawkeye approached him, trying to listen to her maternal instincts. Jaxith just shook his head, picked up his pencil and went back to drawing Hyatte. Havoc and Breda rushed back into the room.

"Sir! You have to report to General Ricker about the Master Sergeant's burns." Havoc explained, huffing.

"Quickly check and see if Fullmetal is off the premises." Mustang told Havoc.

"Should I do anything sir?" Breda inquired.

"Help me come up with an excuse." Mustang sighed.

"Um…." Falman wasn't sure what to think of that.

"Fullmetal said he's taking the blame." Mustang added as an after thought. "But I have to have a story to stick by that accurately points their eyes that way."

"Is this a willing thing on his part?" Breda asked.

"Yes."

Jaxith looked at his great-uncle, stunned.

"But why?"

"Because sometimes you need to make a small sacrifice to move forward." Roy told him sadly.

--------

That was a serious chapter, the next one will be more amusing. Jaxith's going to school! And the stranger returns!

1-The heart area refers to Central City and the surrounding communities. It gets its name from being in the heart of the country.

2- Double negatives of legal language are evil. So I included them.

Drop a review!


	12. It's Just a Matter of Math

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: Situation hasn't changed, I assure you.

Recap: The Elrics leave with a **bang!**

Other Stuff: I just realized something, I have almost as many reviews as I do pages on this document! Currently I have 70 reviews for 79 pages of material. That's really awesome! Also, it occurred to me I'm approaching 100 reviews soon. This would be my first story to break that amount, so please drop a review to help with that goal!

Previously:

_"But why?"_

_"Because sometimes you need to make a small sacrifice to move forward." Roy told him sadly._

Chapter 12: It's Just a Matter of Math

Jaxith woke to the smell of fried gritz (1). He smiled, it was a smell from home. Quickly, he jumped out of bed wandering down the hall of the apartment to see his great-uncle over a small pot. Roy flashed him a smile as he stirred the gritz.

"Cheese?" Roy asked the predictable question.

"Please." Was the equally predictable answer. Both men hadn't taken long to develop their own morning routines. Roy woke first, usually he would then bang on Jaxith's door waking the boy. Roy would then take care of his hygiene needs and dress. Jaxith would get up and start preparing breakfast. Once he was done, or in a place were he didn't need to watch it, he would return to his room and do his morning necessaries. Roy would finish cooking then set the table and serve. Around this time Jaxith would wander back in time to eat. Both men then helped with the clean up. After a final sweep of the apartment for whatever they needed, they would then leave.

Today was a special day, not only had Roy woken up a little earlier so that he could cook breakfast, but it was Jaxith's first day of school. Jaxith smiled, knowing that Roy was very much a fan of his sleep and only woke to prepare breakfast on special occasions. Jaxith was very aware what day it was, making him extra thankful his great-uncle had gotten up just for him.

Roy was humming enjoying being fatherly. It had been a little bit of a shock at first to see his paternal instincts take over and guide him, but several years in the military taught him that his instincts were_never_ wrong. Last night they told him to do something special for Jaxith and this morning he was doing just that. He could see how grateful the boy was, it made the Colonel wonder just how much his great-nephew was loved back home.

"Are you ready for school today?" Roy asked, setting the plates down.

"As I'm going to be…." Jaxith's expression filled with dread and nervousness.

"Ah, what is your schedule like?" Roy inquired, not remembering what it was when his niece-in-law set it up. Jaxith paused eating, trying to remember.

"Calculus, History of the Military Efforts of Ametris, uh… geography, and then um… chemistry I think." Jaxith seemed a little unsure. "Then there's lunch. Then literature, then essay writing, I think…. Then I have fitness and health. That's it."

Roy paused a moment, faintly wondering what Edward and Alphonse would be taking if they were still in school. Alchemy was defiantly on there, but the rest was unknown. Roy frowned, realizing that Ed and Al didn't share much in common with their peers. Having Jaxith as a friend would help close that gap.

"Uncle Roy?" Jaxith asked.

"Just thinking about my other charges." Roy chuckled, being somewhat cryptic. "I heard Flamel just hired a new Calculus teacher, he's supposed to be one of the best."

"Where did you hear that?" Jaxith seemed confused.

"You'll be amazed what kind of gossip you can pick up from the people that hang around the coffee pot." Roy grinned. Jaxith laughed.

"As long as I 'forget' my jacket they tell me just about anything I want to know." Roy knew that the privates there wouldn't have ever told him half of the stuff they did if they knew Roy's rank. He was just 'Roy' around the coffee pot.

"Thank you for breakfast," Jaxith gave Roy a small, polite bow, "I'm going to go put my uniform on."

"Okay." Roy smiled and did the dishes by himself. He was grinning like an idiot, feeling proud and smug for having done a good deed this morning. After that Roy pulled on the flap and coat of his uniform, looking as snappy as usual. Jaxith entered the hall, looking snappy himself.

The Flamel Academy required their male students to navy blue, forest green, dark brown, black, or dark scarlet slacks, that bore uncanny resemblance to the military pants. The top part of the uniform consisted of a silk undershirt that had to be one of five colors: pastel pink, baby powder blue, white, cream, or a pastel green. Over the silk shirt was to be either a vest or a sweater vest if it was colder. The vests came in dark scarlet, navy blue, black, forest green, or dark brown. All vests bore the school coat of arms.

Since Jaxith looked good wearing just about anything, Roy had bought him several sets. Today Jaxith was wearing the navy slacks, white shirt, and scarlet vest. All the colors flowed on his body, making him look stunning. Roy smiled.

"You look like you're about to go out to dinner." Roy smiled. "Good taste."

"Thanks." Jaxith was pleased with himself.

"Got everything?" Roy asked as Jaxith fetched his briefcase and book bag from the living room. With a nod the two left the apartment. On the drive to school Jaxith turned and faced his great uncle.

"Uncle Roy?" He asked.

"Yes?" Roy didn't take his eyes off the road.

"Who's picking me up today?" Jaxith knew one of Roy's subordinates would be doing that, just not which one.

"Havoc." Roy answered with a nod. "Normally it would be Fuery, but he's still getting over the burns…."

"So there's a schedule?" Jaxith laughed a little, finding it a very military thing to do.

"Yes. You'll get Havoc again tomorrow, then Hawkeye, Falman, Breda, and then me." Roy smiled. "Rotating only seemed fair."

"Ah!" Jaxith nodded.

"If something pops up, you might be picked up by Major Armstrong, Garcia, or Fullmetal." Roy babbled on.

"Edward can drive!?" Jaxith gasped.

"Er- no. He'd be on foot." Roy said quickly. "But he's scheduled to have driving lessons next time he reports in. It's part of his punishment."

"How are driving lessons a punishment?" Jaxith wondered.

"They are if you're taking them from Armstrong." Roy assured his great-nephew, who paled.

"We're here." Roy got out of the car. Jaxith stepped out as well, enjoying the sun on his face. Roy came around the side of the car and put something in Jaxith's hand.

"Happy late birthday." Roy winked then gave Jaxith a playful smack on the back. "Have a good day!" Quickly, Roy climbed into the car and drove away. Jaxith looked at the object in his hand.

It was a golden pocket watch baring the Mustang family coat of arms (2). Jaxith eyed the edges and realized it was crafted by the same artisans that made the watches for the State. In awe, Jaxith's fingers ran over the Pegasus with the flaming wings. Fighting back the tears, Jaxith pocketed his watch.

"Thanks." He told his long gone uncle.

**-break-**

Jaxith sat down in his first class in the only seat available. He sat between a girl with tanned skin and nearly white hair and a boy with black hair so messy, one could swear it was spiky. She had green eyes and looked very bored. She was wearing the navy skirt and vest, along with the baby powder blue shirt. The boy had his eyes shut and was napping on the desk, having chosen to wear the navy slacks, forest green sweater vest, and pastel pink shirt. Jaxith was unsure as to whether or not it was a good thing he was towards the front of the class.

"Hey you." The girl addressed Jaxith suddenly.

"Y-yes?" Jaxith was caught a little off guard.

"What the hell are you drawing?" She pointed at his paper. Without realizing it, Jaxith had taken out his notebook for class and started doodling all over it. It was doodles of various parts of Edward's automail arm. They had been drawn larger than their actual size, which made them difficult to decipher them for what were.

"Automail sketches." The boy on the other side of him remarked. Jaxith whirred around to see the pale boy had opened his chocolate colored eyes. He yawned and held his hand out to Jaxith.

"Michel Grevalo, Mike for short." He introduced himself.

"Jaxith Skibbereen." Jaxith shook his hand.

"Samantha D." The girl told him, not bothering to shake his hand. "You can call me Sam, Jax."

" 'Jax'?" Jaxith gasped, stunned by the sudden nickname.

"Yup." Was all she said with a smirk on her face. Jaxith looked at Michel for help, all he did was shrug.

"Hey, you were that kid from at the Armstrong Academy!" A voice gasped from in front of Jaxith's seat. Jaxith turned around to look at the strange man his grandmother had bumped into back at the Armstrong Academy. Today, his carrot orange hair was up in the same pony tail and his half moon specials were still perched on his nose. The only change was that he was wearing a green silk dress shirt that he had unbuttoned, but still tucked into his pants. Sticking out of the collar was a purple ribbon Jaxith correctly assumed was an undone bowtie. He wore a different pair of abused pants today and the same strange sandals.

"Jaxith Skibbereen, sir." Jaxith didn't know what else to say.

"Good choice in school." The strange man winked, he then addressed the class.

"Good morning! I'm your teacher and you may call me 'Ed'." He explained. "Now pull out your books and turn to page 46. We're going to push your limits today!"

Mike groaned. "I hate math puns."

"You're in for a lot of them." Sam yawned as she took out her book.

"Shouldn't you take attendance, Mr. Ed?" Someone from the back asked.

"Right right!" Ed clapped his hands together then looked around the room. He walked over to the large desk and regal lounge chair. After about two minutes of flying papers he held up the paper he was looking for with a childish pride.

"If you are not present then don't raise your hand when I call your name." He told them as he grabbed a pencil.

"He's an interesting one." Jaxith muttered, a little off balance from the teacher.

"You don't know the half of it." Sam sighed.

The rest of the class was spent discussing the many different kinds of limits, with an emphasis on the mathematical verity (3).

Jaxith stepped out into the hall and pulled out his schedule. He had military history next, his least favorite subject. With a sigh Jaxith picked his way down the halls, finding himself in a new classroom. Inside was an old man with an automail arm. He was glaring at the students that were inside the room. His face was riddled with scars and wrinkles, making him look very menacing.

"Good morning." Jaxith bowed politely, completely unphased by the man's appearance.

"And you are?" The man asked him, his voice gruff and unkind.

"Jaxith Howard Skibbereen." Jaxith told him, standing tall and strong before the man. "You're ex-military, aren't you sir?"

"You'd be right brat, take a seat." The man ordered him.

"Don't call me 'brat'." Jaxith glared at the man. "You will use my name." He sat down, making several students gasp.

"And what makes you think you deserve that privilege, brat?"

"If you want my respect sir, you will have to respect me." Jaxith held firm, completely used to dealing with adults like this man. "And not having my respect is going to make this a very long term for the both of us."

"You're a choky son of a bitch if you think that." The man hissed at him.

"The fact you have to attack my mother to insult me only shows how weak you are." Jaxith yawned, bored. "But I will warn you, I'm from the West. My family doesn't take well to insults."

"I'm not scared of your family." The man hissed again, getting more and more flustered by Jaxith's back talk.

"Ever heard of Colonel Roy Mustang, Flame Alchemist?" Jaxith, smirked, pissing the man off.

"Who hasn't?" The man didn't get how this was relevant.

"He's my uncle." Jaxith continued to smirk. "And I'm sure he'd _love_ to give you a piece of his mind if you're going to insult his sister."

The man was quiet for a minute. "I see the resemblance."

"Most do." Jaxith took out his notebook. The entire class was holding their breaths.

"You've got his backbone." The man laughed. "I used to be his commanding officer back in Ishbal. The guy had a lot of guts, just like you."

"He told me I didn't have to take shit from anyone, even my teachers." Jaxith set his things out, ready for class.

"Sounds like him." The man laughed. "Welcome to my class, kid."

Jaxith raised an eyebrow. The man addressed the class.

"I'm Ex-Colonel Robert von Kisper."(4) He introduced himself. "Welcome to History of the Military Efforts of Amestris. I'm proud to say that most have been successful. If you want to have a pleasant time, I expect you to shut up and listen when I speak."

Von Kisper pulled his attendance roster and began to take attendance. Jaxith smiled, maybe this class wouldn't be so bad after all.

---------

I'm sorry it's a little short but the thought ended so nicely there. Next chapter will be about the rest of the school day.

1- Gritz, ground corn meal; a very common food in the West. It is usually boiled with some butter then have things like cheese and ham added to it, making an oatmeal-like paste. Good stuff.

2- The Mustang Family does have a coat to arms, though they use it rarely. It is a Pegasus with flaming wings in the foreground with a root network in the background.

3- If you don't know what a mathematical limit is, it is basically taking and equation with a variable and solving it infinitely close to a selected number, but not at that number. This allows you to divide by zero.

4- I totally just made that one up, not an actual German name, to my knowledge that is.

So now we know a bit more about the infamous strange man from chapter 8! You'll get to know him better. Drop me review!


	13. Learning Something New

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: I own Jaxith and my other OCs! But I do not own the FMA crew.

Recap: Jaxith has his first two classes of the day.

Other Stuff: After I get all excited over reviews I find myself receiving very few from the last chapter. Was it that bad?

Previously:

_Von Kisper pulled his attendance roster and began to take attendance. Jaxith smiled, maybe this class wouldn't be so bad after all._

Chapter 13: Learning Something New

Jaxith, after a long and somewhat tedious class under the iron fist of von Kisper, decided he was going to have a good time. The Skibbereen was thankful he knew how to deal with hard ass adults, as he did it almost daily back home. It was the other teachers he wasn't sure of. Jaxith sighed and took out his schedule again. Chemistry, Jaxith's weakest subject. Unlike his great-uncle Jaxith had little to no ability to deal with science. Jaxith didn't hate science the way he hated history (which he found boring and depressing), he was just frustrated by his inability to do it. Most members of Jaxith's family were fair to masters of science, making the subject all that more sensitive for him. Science for Jaxith was a sign of failure.

He sat down in his chemistry class looking depressed and distressed. Michel Grevalo, the boy Jaxith had sat next to during calculus, sat down next to him again.

"Why the sad face, Jax?" Michel asked him, concerned.

"I suck at chemistry." Jaxith moaned, his head on the desk.

"So do I." Michel smiled. Jaxith gave him a confused look. "But who cares if you suck at chemistry? You have to suck at something in this world, you wouldn't be human otherwise."

"Equivalent Exchange!" Jaxith sat up, realizing why Edward was so fond of the phrase.

"Isn't that alchemy?" Michel made a face, apparently that subject was beyond him too.

"Yes, but what it means is that you have to sacrifice something to gain something." Jaxith explained. "You have to suck at one thing in order to be good at something else, it's a fair trade."

"Ah!" Michel smiled. "See, we both suck at chemistry, but we're both good at other things because of it!"

"Actually I suck at all types of science." Jaxith moaned.

"I'm decent with physics, its just applied math after all." Michel smiled. "I bet you are too."

"Physics is a silly science." Jaxith muttered.

"Says who?" Michel raised an eyebrow. "Personally I think its just as important as chemistry, alchemy, or even biology."

"Tell that to my dad." Jaxith snorted.

"I may, if given that opportunity." Jaxith looked at his companion in horror. "You're dad can't be that bad! He helped bring you into the world!" Michel protested.

"Have you heard about the West?" Jaxith asked quietly. Michel grew thoughtful.

"Yes."

"I'm from there." Jaxith explained simply. "I'm not like most of my family."

"That's probably why you're here not there." Michel observed. "But you forget, you're in the heart area and any Westerner that sets foot here is a foreigner. If they step out of line they are outnumbered."

"Have you heard any stories involving shot guns?" Jaxith asked, making Michel pale. "Most of my family tots those around they were coats."

"Oye." Michel felt very uncomfortable. "Remind me not to piss your family off."

"The one's you'd meet wouldn't take offense." Jaxith assured him.

"Hey Jax?" Michel asked after a while.

"Yeah?"

"Can I look at your automail sketches?" Michel seemed a little embarrassed by this.

"Why?"

"I want to become an automail mechanic." Michel explained. "You drew really accurate sketches and I just wanted to see if I could guess the craftsman."

"Sure." Jaxith handed Michel his math notebook. Michel looked and studied the drawings carefully.

"Looks kind of like Pinako Rockbell's work…." Michel muttered after a while. "But there are bits that are distinctly different…." Jaxith paused and tried to remember the name of Edward's mechanic.

"Winry!" Jaxith exclaimed after a moment.

"Huh?" Michel was confused.

"Winry's the person who made the automail I drew." Jaxith explained.

"Who's the person wearing it?" Michel asked, not recognizing the maker.

"Edward Elric." Jaxith explained, drawing a quick sketch of Edward's face for Michel to see.

"Isn't that the Fullmetal Alchemist?" Michel gasped.

It was then a ruler smacked right down between the two.

"Good morning boys." A smooth, young voice greeted them. The man above them had chestnut hair, fair skin, and green eyes. His hair was long and worn lose, making him look somewhat feminine. He wore a nice dark blue dress shirt and a pair of black slacks. He gave the two a tired sigh and went up to the front of the classroom.

"You will be calling me 'Al'. Welcome to chemistry for those who haven't the faintest clue what a 'chemical' is." The class snickered at the teacher's introduction. "For those of you that do know what a chemical is, you are in the wrong class."

Al grabbed his large, teacher's edition textbook and pulled his attendance roster out of it. After he took attendance he smiled.

"In this class we will be practicing how to properly address others as if you were at a formal discussion among other scientists that like to believe they are more brilliant than you." Again snickering. "What this means is that we will be on a last name basis."

Jaxith raised his hand.

"Yes?"

"But, will all respect Mr. Al sir," Jaxith paused, unsure, "you weren't able to correctly say my last name."

"That, sadly, happens." Al sighed. "What was it?"

"Skibbereen."

"Skibirin?" Al tried. Jaxith shook his head. "Well as we went over this before when I took attendance," Al moaned trying to suppress the humiliation of spending ten minutes trying to get one name right , "I'm going to a lot you a nickname. You are now Skibbe."

Jaxith stared in horror.

"Now open your books to page 12, we are going to discus units today!"

"Looks like you're getting nothing but nicknames today." Michel smiled.

"Shut up!" Jaxith hissed.

**-break-**

The next class was geography. Jaxith discovered both the teacher and the subject to be remarkably boring. He like many others, fell asleep during class. Unlike many others, Jaxith did it in the first row, earning a barrage of chalk thrown at his head. Now there were white streaks in his black hair. This distressed the boy, though he knew he deserved it for falling asleep in class.

Jaxith picked up a tray from the cafeteria and found himself standing very alone in a large room filled with people. The amount of people was overwhelming for the small town boy. It didn't help he knew next to no one at the school, which made him feel very out of place. Jaxith decided it would be best if he sat alone. He found a decently secluded spot and sat down in it. What Jaxith didn't realize was that the spot was surrounded by people who were standing, waiting. They were not happy with this development.

"Kid, move." Another person told Jaxith gruffly. He was tall, big and bad news. The boy wasn't wearing his uniform, but another state of somewhat scandalous dress. He had died black hair and ice blue eyes. Jaxith looked up, a little confused.

"There's an open seat right in front of you." Jaxith pointed at it. The boys around him held their breaths.

"You're new kid, so I'll give you a second chance. Move it." The boy snarled. Jaxith sighed and moved a seat over. The boy looked offended.

"Find another table." He ordered.

"I sat here looking for solitude." Jaxith glared at the boy. "And you're disturbing my peace."

"Should I be scared?" The boy mocked.

"If you value that ugly lump of flesh you call a face, then yes." Jaxith remarked smoothly. "But because it is ugly, I wouldn't blame you if you didn't care about it."

"You-!" The boy was about to attack Jaxith when his arm was grabbed. Ed, the calculus teacher was holding the boy's arm. Everyone was stunned.

"You need to learn self-control Clyde Harrison." Ed told the boy.

"What makes you think you know anything!?" Clyde roared, red in the face.

"Years of experience living." Ed explained as if talking to a confused and distressed student. "Now either I will sit here and assure you will be civil, or you will go to the principal's office and be civil there."

Clyde left, shooting Jaxith a nasty glare.

"What happened to your hair?" Ed asked, trying to fathom how the boy had gotten white streaks in it.

"Mrs. Celt." Jaxith muttered.

"Ah, that drone-on of a woman. Don't blame you." Ed nodded. "You ought to be careful what fights you pick Jaxith…."

"If he was really a problem I would have left the first time he asked me." Jaxith assured Ed. "I can deal with him."

Ed shrugged. "If you're sure." And with that he left.

**-break-**

So far Jaxith's memory had proved to have gotten the order of chemistry and geography confused. To add to the list of mistakes literature and essay writing weren't separate classes, they were the same class. We like to call it 'English'.

"I saw what you did to Clyde." Samantha remarked while they waited on their teacher. "I also heard about what you did with von Kisper."

"And?" Jaxith didn't care.

"You like to pick fights with people." She observed.

"No, I don't." Jaxith was a pacifistic person. "But if someone's going to rattle and bang on me, I'm going to stand up for myself."

"There are smarter ways to do that." Samantha shook her head. "But my hat's off to you for doing it. I'm much the same way."

"Ah."

A man walked in with short gray hair and a mustache. He wore an argyle sweater and green slacks.

"I am Quimat Ivo. You are about to forget my name because you will have something else to call me." The classes was attentive and listening. "You will call me 'Mister Sweater-guy'."

"Oo!" The class decided that yes, they would call this man Mister Sweater-guy. He then took attendance and went over the course syllabus.

"I like him." Jaxith told Samantha as they left class.

"Most do." She laughed.

**-break-**

Next class was health and fitness. The teacher, a middle aged woman with a lot of energy, insisted the class call her 'Jill' instead of 'Ms. Smith'. She explained that every other class was going to be spent out doing something physical, the other half would be in the classroom studying. Jaxith liked the idea.

Unfortunately for Jaxith he shared this class with Clyde. During the game of soccer they were playing, Jaxith often found Clyde and his cronies trying to trip him or purposely kicking the ball at his face. During his resting time, Jaxith reflected a little about the similarities to back home.

**-flashback-**

_"There's the failure." People whispered as Jaxith walked by. He wasn't manly enough in their eyes. He was a failure. He felt like one too._

_They were playing soccer outside that day. For the first time in ages, Jaxith had another child approach him and ask him to play. Jaxith smiled, happy he could finally be excepted._

_He was wrong._

_The reason he had been brought onto the field was to give the other boys an excuse to beat him up. They tripped him, slammed into him, and then kicked the ball into his face. Not to mention all the unnecessary kicks to the shins. Within minutes Jaxith was on the ground, in the middle of the field, too hurt to stand. The game went on, over and around Jaxith, not caring if he did get up._

_That's when Jaxith vowed that he would get stronger and learn how hold his own despite the beatings._

**-break-**

Jaxith had put a significant amount of time into learning to fight, brawl, and avoid injuries during games. Clyde's gang was pissed that they couldn't trip or hurt the Skibbereen in any way.

_Obviously they've never played soccer in Clayston._ Jaxith decided, brushing the sweat off his face. _Because they'd be dead if they played out there._

In the end, Jaxith's team won.

**-break-**

Jaxith stood by the front gate, waiting patiently for his ride. He was smiling, happy to have survived a day of school without a fight or bruise. It was around then Clyde came over, grabbed Jaxith's shirt collar and shoved the boy up against the wall.

"I'm going to beat you senseless you fucker." Clyde yelled at Jaxith, spitting a little on his face.

"You must get your bad breath from your rotting brain." Jaxith remarked, wincing at the smell. He then grabbed Clyde's hand and started to pull it away. Clyde blinked, confused that someone else was just simply that much stronger than him. After another blink Clyde realized what the insult meant and got angry. He punched Jaxith.

Onlookers gasped. Jaxith straightened himself up, sighing loudly.

"That was weak." Jaxith commented. Clyde punched him again. Again Jaxith recovered and faced Clyde.

"Are you so insecure with yourself that you have to beat someone else up to feel happy?" Jaxith asked knowingly. He got punched and kicked furiously as Clyde launched himself into blind rage. After each blow, Jaxith simply stood up.

About three minutes of this passed when Havoc pulled the car up. He recognized Jaxith immediately.

_Oh shit! Mustang's going to burn me alive!_ Jean Havoc leaped out of his car and ran over to the fight, his military uniform flapping dramatically.

"What the hell is going on here!?" Havoc roared, much like he would at a bunch of brawling drunks. Clyde turned around, saw the uniform and glared. Without much thought he swung and punched Havoc in the gut. The First Lieutenant went 'oof' having the wind knocked out of him by the blow.

Jaxith tapped Clyde on the shoulder. Clyde swung around and looked Jaxith in the eye. Jaxith's eyes were on fire with a slow, hot rage.

"Don't you touch my family city boy." Jaxith hissed, his Western accent strong. Clyde blinked, confused.

**Bam! Thump!**

Jaxith had moved extremely fast, giving Clyde an uppercut. Clyde had then found himself airborne for few seconds, then hit the unforgiving concrete a few feet away. Jaxith said nothing as he picked up his briefcase and got into the car. Havoc shot Clyde a glance then climbed into the car himself and drove in silence to Headquarters.

Jaxith stared at his hands, afraid of himself and what he might become.

---------

Whoo! An exposure of Jaxith's past and protective side! What do you think? Drop a review!


	14. Aftermath

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: Situation: stable and constant (aka nothing has changed).

Recap: Mustang's probably going to burn Havoc alive….

Other Stuff: After I get all excited over reviews I find myself receiving very few from the last chapter. Was it that bad? Also, I apologize for the Jaxith-centric school chapters. I needed to develop that as a base for later amusements. Anyways, on behalf of silkendreammaid, I have drawn a copy of the infamous 'Roy just after the shower' picture for your inner fan girl (or fan boy if you swing that way). It's on my DeviantART account (link is the homepage on my profile). If you decide to search it on DeviantART, just type in 'A Pen or A Sword'.

This chapter is dedicated to my reviewers.

Previously:

_Jaxith stared at his hands, afraid of himself and what he might become._

Chapter 14: Aftermath

Roy Mustang was sitting at his office, actually doing his paperwork. The reason for this was because if he didn't get his work done, Hawkeye would make him stay late. And making Roy stay late would, in turn, make Jaxith stay late. Making Jaxith stay late because he couldn't do his paperwork was unacceptable in his mind.

Hawkeye paused and looked up as the door to the hall opened. A stranger walked in wearing civilian clothes. He was somewhat short and chubby, with a head of dark red hair and onyx eyes. He had a wiry red beard.

"Excuse me sir, who are you?" Falman approached the stranger carefully. The stranger paused, pulled out a golden pocket watch and checked the time.

"I have an appointment." The stranger told Falman, flashing his watch at the stunned solider as he walked into Mustang's back office without a word.

The shutting of the door of his inner office made Colonel Mustang look up into the onyx eyes that ran in his family.

"Atticus!" Roy gasped, his eyes widening. "Why didn't you call?"

"Wasn't necessary." Atticus chuckled. Oddly enough, Atticus did not sound like a Westerner.

"Damn!" Roy grinned, setting his work down and standing up. He walked up to his cousin and threw his arms around the man, pulling him into a friendly hug. Both men exchanged hard smacks to the back, stupid grins on their faces.

"Its been too long ya idjot!" Atticus laughed.

"Yeah you bum!" Roy gave his cousin a noggie. Breda opened the office door with a quizzical look on his face.

"You two know each other." Breda observed.

" 'Course we do!" They snapped back, offended.

"Breda, his is my cousin, Atticus Mustang Skibbereen." Roy introduced the man.

"Hello!" Atticus smiled cheerfully.

"You're Jaxith's father?" Breda asked, stunned.

"Yup." Atticus nodded. Breda was trying to figure out how Jaxith looked so much unlike both his parents. He then tried to put Mary Sue next to Atticus, which resulted in a series of terrible images that would make Armstrong sparkles look like heaven.

"Ah." Breda looked blue in the face, which confused the cousins no end.

"Well here, let me introduce you to everyone else." Roy led Atticus into the room. Roy pointed to each person in turn.

"Riza Hawkeye, Kain Fuery, Veto Falman, Haymans Breda-" Roy paused, a little confused, "-where's Havoc?"

"He's picking up Jaxith." Fuery reminded his commanding officer.

"Oh!" Roy felt a little dumb. "Well this is Atticus Mustang Skibbereen, my cousin."

"Ah, so my boy's heading here, eh?" Atticus chuckled humorously. "You said he was making some improvements while he's been away."

"Yes." Roy wasn't lying, being in Central had done Jaxith's confidence a lot of good. But there was still a lot of damage.

"Did he draw those?" Atticus pointed at the 'sketches' on the wall.

"Yes." Roy smiled, proud of Jaxith. Atticus sighed.

"That's not what we were trying to do with the boy, Roy. You know that." Atticus reminded him.

"He needs to let out his emotion somehow." Roy argued. "I'd rather him be doing that then trying to light my apartment on fire."

"Ah." Atticus nodded. "Still…." He looked at the one of Edward. "It worries me."

**-break-**

Jaxith trailed behind Havoc, upset. He felt terrible inside because of what he had done. Havoc told him it was only natural to defend people he cared about. Jaxith agreed to that, but on the inside he had felt both joy and power when he punched Clyde. It was a disturbing feeling and Jaxith was afraid of what he was becoming.

"Hey guys-" Havoc cut himself off when he saw Atticus and Roy chatting about Tasha, Atticus' younger sister. Both men looked over to him.

"Where's Jaxith?" Roy asked.

"Here." Came a tiny voice. Atticus frowned.

"He's a bit shaken." Havoc explained quickly. "He got into a fight today."

Atticus walked over, pushed Havoc out of the way and took his son's shoulders in his hands. With a small shake Jaxith's head popped up. Over the course of the car ride, Jaxith's bruises had started to color and form. Atticus gave Jaxith the look he dreaded most: disappointment.

"I'm sorry." Jaxith told his father.

"Did you hit the boy back?" Atticus asked gravely. Jaxith, feeling numb with dread nodded. Atticus sighed, more disappointed.

"You know your mother and I hate it when you get into fights." Atticus reminded his son. Jaxith nodded dumbly.

"Havoc," Roy whispered, "what happened?"

"I don't know how it started," Havoc explained, "but Jaxith was taking blows from some kid that snapped. When I got over to break it up, the kid turned on me and punched me the gut."

Roy raised an eyebrow, knowing that Havoc couldn't have been hurt too bad.

"That's when Jaxith snapped and gave the other kid an uppercut. Sent the prick flying." Havoc nodded. Roy nodded, understanding.

"Well, what are we going to do?" Roy asked, unsure.

"I don't know sir." Havoc remarked.

"Excuse me!" Suddenly the moment froze and everyone turned to see Alphonse Elric standing in the hall, suit case in tow. He looked panicked.

"Alphonse!" Hawkeye gasped. "Where's Edward?"

"The hospital, they need someone to sign medical forms…." Al looked desperate.

"Sorry Atticus, crisis." Roy told his cousin, all but running into the hall. Jaxith gasped.

"Wait!" Jaxith pulled out of his father's grasp and ran after his great-uncle and friend, full of worry.

"I wasn't expecting that." Atticus remarked, stunned.

"We weren't either." Falman assured him.

"I hope Ed's okay." Fuery sighed. "He's always in the hospital…."

"Too frequently." Breda muttered, rubbing his temples.

"Who is Edward?" Atticus asked innocently.

"The Fullmetal Alchemist." Falman answered.

**-at the hospital-**

"Alphonse, when I find out how he landed himself here, how mad should I be?" Roy asked Alphonse casually as the three of them walked down the corridors of the hospital.

"Not very." Al assured Roy. "He didn't cause it this time."

"Oh?" Roy sounded somewhat amazed. Jaxith watched the two, a little unsure what was going on.

"Brother and I were walking back to Headquarters and we were crossing the street…." Alphonse trailed off, sounding a little upset.

"By chance is that the accident on the radio earlier?" Jaxith asked quietly, remembering that his health teacher had turned on the news at the end of the day while everyone was stretching and cooling down.

"…Yes." Al's voice wavered. "Drunk driver."

"Shit!" Roy hissed, not happy. It was then they arrived at the door to Edward's hospital room. There was a doctor waiting.

"Hello." The doctor greeted the group neutrally. "Here for Elric?"

"Yes." Roy nodded. "I'm his guardian."

"Would you sign this?" The doctor handed Roy a consent form. Being the paper-pusher he was, Roy glanced through the document. Finding everything in order and satisfactory, he nodded and signed. The doctor handed the form to a passing nurse who hurried off with it.

"How is he?" Roy asked the question everyone wanted the answer to.

"Lucky to be alive." The doctor responded. "Broke both legs and scrapped almost all the skin off his back. Not to mention the bruise on his abdomen…." The doctor shook his head.

"Will brother be okay?" Al asked.

"If he's got a strong will, he'll be okay." The doctor sighed. "A lot of patients have difficulty recover-" Roy cut him off.

"Edward has been in this hospital many times in the past with worse wounds. If there is one thing I can rely on in this world, its Edward's stubbornness and will." Roy nodded, looking relieved.

"He has been here before?" The doctor was stunned. "In worse condition?"

"You're new here." Al observed. The doctor could only nod dumbly.

"That'd be why." Roy chuckled. "Can we see him?"

"I don't see why not…." The doctor opened the door. Edward lay on a bed, a scowl set on his face.

"For someone who hates hospitals you wind up in one an awfully lot, Fullmetal." Roy jabbed.

"Shut the fuck up." Edward hissed.

"Is that any way to talk to your commanding officer?" Roy mocked. Jaxith stepped on Roy's foot making the man yelp.

"Is that any way to talk to someone who just got hit by a car?" Jaxith asked dryly. Roy shut up.

"What happened to your face?" Edward asked, noticing the colorful bruises on Jaxith's face.

"Nothing." Jaxith looked away. Roy sighed and rubbed his temples. Edward took that as a sign to not pry, it was Roy's problem.

"Hey Jaxith, doesn't school start for you soon?" Alphonse asked, trying to have a conversation that wouldn't piss someone off.

"First day today." Jaxith remarked dryly.

"Lucky." Ed muttered. Jaxith and Roy perked up at this.

"Pardon?" Jaxith asked.

"You get to go to school." Ed muttered, only Alphonse heard him.

"In Risembol school only goes through fifth grade. We finished schooling before we left, what little there was." Alphonse explained. "Even with our talents, in a town like Risembol, you can't pursue them."

"How did you learn alchemy in the first place?" Roy hadn't heard this story.

"The bastard's books." Edward remarked offhandedly.

"Brother, you shouldn't talk about Dad like that!" Al admonished his brother.

"He left us, he's a bastard." Edward glared into space.

Jaxith looked away, feeling a little envious himself. If his father wasn't around, he wouldn't be disappointed in him. The Elrics were lucky that they were not judged by their families. Jaxith continued to look bitter, Edward noticed this.

"What the hell is eating at you!?" Edward pointed an accusing finger at Jaxith, who jumped, startled.

"Nothing!" Jaxith snapped back upset, tears coming to his eyes. "Nothing…."

"It doesn't look like 'nothing' to me." Edward snorted.

"Hypocrite." Jaxith accused back.

The door to the room swung open. "Colonel Mustang, there is a call for you."

"Eh?" Roy began to walk towards the door. "Okay…." He gave the boys a worried glance and left. Al loomed over Jaxith and Edward.

"Neither of you have had good days, I can understand you being cranky. But you will not fight!" Alphonse scolded them. Jaxith shook his head, shaking a little with emotion. Edward sighed, knowing Al would give him hell for it later if he pressed the matter.

"Hey Al, why don't you get Jaxith some ice for his face?" Edward asked after a while. "Just because you act like they don't hurt, doesn't mean they don't actually do." Edward eyed Jaxith knowingly.

Alphonse was hesitant to leave the room but in the end he did.

"The person who punched you wasn't trained." Edward remarked assessing Jaxith's wounds. "He was decently strong, but out of control. Judging by your lack of arm wounds, I'd say you didn't fight back."

"H-how!?" Jaxith gasped.

"Sheer combat experience." Ed smiled. Jaxith remembered his calculus teacher sounding the same way earlier that day.

"Then you would understand…." Jaxith sniffed.

"What?" Edward cocked his head.

"I don't know what happened…," Jaxith's voice was barely audible, "but when he punched Havoc, I got mad. Madder than I had ever been in my life. I-I punched him back." Jaxith's voice rose, getting steadily more shaky.

Edward said nothing, he gave a small encouraging nod.

"A-And when I did it-" Jaxith tripped over his words, "-I felt _good._" He was shaking, the tears falling freely.

"I do too." Edward admitted quietly, his face holding a sad, understanding smile. "When you do something like that, your ego wells up and fills you with pride in your skill. One of the things that happens when you fight is joy. Twisted joy."

Jaxith looked at Edward, stunned.

"People who let the joy rule them become maniacs." Edward told Jaxith. "But those who don't let it rule them, who always feel the regret and guilt- they are human."

"Human?" Jaxith gasped.

Edward nodded. "My first real fight I was scared shitless." He chuckled at the thought. "I nearly killed someone."

"I wonder if the guy I hit is going to be okay…." Jaxith muttered.

"What_did_ you do?" Edward's eyes widened.

"Punched him into the air?" Jaxith explained innocently.

"He's not going to be at school tomorrow." Edward muttered, knowing full well how much _that_ sort of thing usually hurt.

--------

Holy shit, 98 pages of story.


	15. Finding a Niche

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: I own only my OCs.

Recap: Edward, despite being bedridden in a hospital, gives Jaxith some much-needed comfort.

Other Stuff: Fan art on my DA account if you're wanting to look. Going to make 100 pages of story by the end of this chapter. Still striving for 100 reviews. And a math mid-term Friday, joy.

Previously:

_"Punched him into the air?" Jaxith explained innocently._

_"He's not going to be at school tomorrow." Edward muttered, knowing full well how much that sort of thing usually hurt._

Chapter 15: Finding a Niche

Roy stepped into the room noticing that Jaxith and Edward were remarkably quiet. Jaxith was doodling on the pad that the doctors had left on the nightstand. Edward was looking out the window, bored.

"Jaxith," Roy began, "your father wants to talk to you." Jaxith raised his eyes up from his work, but did not raise his head.

"I see…." Jaxith gave a sad smile.

"Why don't you tell him you were protecting someone else?" Roy suggested. Jaxith's head shot up and he was staring at his uncle, stunned.

"Well-" Jaxith was cut off.

"Its only the truth." Edward reminded him. "There is no shame in protecting those you love."

"Says the boy who's always trying to take that to a new level…." Roy's eye twitched.

"I didn't do anything!" Edward snapped, defending himself.

"Not this time." Roy remarked through his teeth, not happy about Ed's track record. Jaxith stood up and brushed himself off.

"Okay." He set the pad down and walked out into the hall. Roy and Edward both looked at the pad. With a deep breath Roy walked over and picked it up. Jaxith was usually very sensitive about people looking at incomplete drawings. This one was of Ed staring at the window, with a thoughtful smile on his face. It was by far the worst thing Roy had seen Jaxith draw, but that didn't mean it wasn't accurate.

Wordlessly, Roy handed Edward the pad. Edward smiled.

"He's really good at this, isn't he?"

"Yeah…." Roy glanced to the door worriedly. "His parents don't approve."

"That's why he's here." Edward explained simply.

"Yes, that is why he is here." Roy agreed.

**-with Jaxith-**

"Papa?" Jaxith asked into the receiver of the phone.

"Jaxith?" Atticus asked gently on the other end. "Why are you running away?"

" 'Running away?' " Jaxith's face contorted in confusion.

"You leave Clayston, then run away to the hospital. Do you not love us?" Atticus was honestly concerned.

"I'm not running away!" Jaxith yelled into the receiver, distressed.

"…Then what are you doing?" Atticus asked. Jaxith looked around, hoping he would have the help and support of his friends and great-uncle. He found nothing but some memories.

_"So I won't be beaten?" _

_"You will not be." Hawkeye had told assured him. Behind her a man appeared._

_"You've got his backbone." Von Kisper laughed. "The guy had a lot of guts, just like you." Beside him loomed another shape._

_"He'd smack you on the side of the head, tell you to get over it and move forward." Alphonse's voice echoed. And two boots clicked behind him. Jaxith whirred around to see his great-uncle._

_"Because sometimes you need to make a small sacrifice to move forward." Roy reminded him._

Jaxith smirked, feeling his confidence return.

"I'm resting." Jaxith told him. "I came to Central to rest my mind and body. I am at the hospital because my good friend is here."

"And being with said friend is more important than being with your father?" Atticus inquired.

"Normally no, but he did get hit by a car and if he was dieing… I wanted a chance to say goodbye." Jaxith admitted.

"Why did you hit the other boy?" Atticus switched gears, his tone voicing his disapproval.

"He attacked Havoc." Jaxith explained. "If that Clyde has an issue with me, it stays with me. If someone else gets involved, I put that boy in his place." Jaxith's accent was especially thick.

"We got a call from Clyde's mother." Atticus told Jaxith. "You broke his jaw."

"Damn straight I did." Jaxith's words slurred a little in the Western fashion. "I'm no weaklin' and he better remember that!"

"Roy's right." Atticus remarked after a while. "You really are doing better here…."

"Papa?" Jaxith was confused.

"I was going to make sure this was really the right decision before it was too set in stone." Atticus explained. "And it is."

"So I can still stay here?" Jaxith sounded relieved.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Atticus smiled on the other end.

"Thank you papa!" Jaxith cried happily into the receiver.

"Take care of yourself, and your friends." Atticus told him. "Come back from the hospital with your great-uncle."

" 'Course." Jaxith and Atticus hung up. Turning around, the young Skibbereen smiled, he had done something right.

**-that evening-**

"-And here's the apartment." Roy pointed out as he unlooked and opened the door. Every time Roy did that, he was thankful Edward had fixed it.

"Still full of books." Atticus smiled. "My bookworm cousin."

"Yah, yah, lawyer." Roy waved his hand at his cousin. This had been an ongoing joke between the two. "Its your fault, you're the one who introduced me to books."

"Haven't regretted it yet." Atticus chuckled. Jaxith shot past him and ran into his room. Both Atticus gave Roy as raised eyebrow and got a shrug in return.

Upon investigating, they found Jaxith in his room unpacking his school things and attempting to clean up the mess he had made. It was mostly art supplies thrown across the floor. Atticus and Roy exchanged smiles and went into the kitchen, letting the boy make his room more presentable.

"He's got my terrible organization methods." Atticus chuckled. "Do you think you can cure him of those?"

Roy was a lazy man, but not a disorganized one. His paperwork was always neatly piled and ordered, unless he was signing it all in a frenzy. Even then there was a method to that madness.

"I'll try?" Roy smiled, pulling out three mugs.

"Well that's better than nothing." Atticus nodded. Roy put on a kettle of tea. "Is that sweat tea?" (1)

"What else would it be?" Roy gave him a flat 'duh' look.

"Just checking." Atticus rolled his eyes and sat down.

"Um…." Roy began unsure of how to phrase his problem.

"Hmm?" Atticus inquired back.

"Do you mind using my bed tonight?" Roy asked. Typically there was a guest bed awaiting a traveler in a Westerner's home (which is why Roy didn't get himself a single bedroom apartment). But since Jaxith was living in the guest bed, it made Roy resort to the alterative, give up his bed for his guest.

"Don't you have a guest bed?" Atticus was confused.

"Its in your son's room, he sleeps on it at night." Roy remarked offhandedly.

"Oh." Atticus realized Roy's little dilemma. Most Westerners would take offense to being offered the host's bed if there was a guest bed available. But Atticus was well traveled and had a fine education. He understood the other cultures of Ametris and didn't get offended by little things like that easily. Depending on the relative, Roy could have found himself anywhere from shamed to pinned up against the wall with a shot gun to his left eye.

"Then I will not be minding." Atticus assured Roy.

"I doubted that you would, but it doesn't hurt to be cautious." Roy assured him. Jaxith entered the kitchen with the tea pot made its whistle.

"Sweat tea?" Jaxith asked.

"What else?" Roy sweat dropped knowing Jaxith already knew that was the only sort of tea in the house.

"Could have been coffee." Jaxith shrugged. He took his mug from his great-uncle and sat down next to his father with a wince.

"You certainly are colorful." Roy chuckled. Jaxith smiled and laughed along with him.

"Yeah, but I've had worse."

"Don't remind me." Atticus groaned. He'd had enough of nursing his son.

"Well I doubt anyone's going to give me trouble, no one there really knows how pack a real punch." Jaxith pointed out.

"Don't place Edward in that category." Roy warned his great-nephew. "He breaks people's jaws very often."

"With his metal hand." Jaxith grinned.

"No, his flesh one. If he uses his metal one he breaks their skull."

"Oh."

**-the next day-**

Jaxith and Roy were up much earlier than Atticus was. Both ready and out the door, leaving but a short note in their wake. It stated to call Roy at work once awake. Roy made short work of the drive to the school.

"Now Jaxith, no more fights today." Roy told him.

"Yes uncle Roy." Jaxith nodded and popped out of the car and was on his way to class.

Upon arrival into his calculus class Mike approached him, looking deadly serious.

"Yes?" Jaxith asked, nervous.

"Jax, you need to introduce me to this 'Winry'." Mike all but ordered him.

"Um, I don't know her?" Jaxith justified. "I've just heard about her?"

Mike's face fell, he grew depressed. Samantha patted him on the shoulder and guided him to his seat. Jaxith sat down between them again.

"Ed's going to chew your head off for the fight you had yesterday." Samantha warned him.

"Have you had him before?" Jaxith asked innocently.

"No, but I do know him very well." Samantha sighed. "Too well…."

"Ignore her Jax, she's just cryptic." Mike waved her comment off with his hand. Jaxith chuckled.

"And you Skibbereen-" **Smack!** A book landed in front of Jaxith. "-Owe me an explanation." Jaxith looked up into the eyes of his calculus teacher. Today they didn't look green, they looked yellow. That was when Jaxith realized his math teacher had blue eyes with a small circle of yellow in the center.

"Your eyes-" Jaxith gasped, mesmerized. Ed had been caught off guard by that as his face reared in slight horror and his glasses went lopsided.

"Nice." Samantha chuckled.

"Er- I'll just take attendance now." Ed quickly turned around and started rummaging through his papers. Jaxith and Mike shared a raised eyebrow. Class went on normally, with the teacher occasionally giving Jaxith a weird, freaked out look. After the bell rang Jaxith gathered up his things and moved onto his next class.

The rest of the morning passed without incident, unless you count Von Kisper making you march around the room as an incident. Jaxith grabbed his lunch and looked around the overwhelming room again. He took a deep breath and gathered up his nerves.

_Its time to try something new._ Jaxith walked up to a table filled with unfamiliar people and asked kindly if he could sit down.

"Sure! What's your name?" Someone invited him. Jaxith set his tray down and sat down.

"Jaxith Skibbereen." He told them then proceeded to have a nice introductory conversation. Jaxith discovered socializing wasn't as hard as he thought it would be. At the end of lunch one of Clyde's cronies approached Jaxith, looking pissed.

"You little shit!" The boy growled. "You sent Clyde to the hospital!" The other people around Jaxith gasped.

"That's right, I sent him to the hospital with a broken jaw for punching my friend." Jaxith admitted, sounding board. "I am not going to be fighting you today, unless you want me to land you in the hospital too." Jaxith glared.

"Er-!" The bully did not want to go to the hospital and decided that harassing Jaxith wasn't worth his time.

Jaxith turned around to the people he had been hanging out with and flashed them one of his great-uncle's 'charming' smiles.

"You see, I learned how to fight out West…." He began to explain, easing their nerves and worries.

And finally Jaxith arrived at the end of a uneventful school day, unless you count getting pelted with chalk as eventful. Havoc arrived again, this time relieved to see Jaxith chatting with some girl.

_He's already turning into a playboy…._ Havoc sweatdropped.

"Hey Jaxith!" Havoc beeped the horn of the car. Jaxith said one quick thing and waved to the girl as he ran to the car. Quickly he climbed in.

"So how was school today?" Havoc asked.

"Like school always is?" Jaxith didn't really know how to remark about his day.

"How'd you get white stuff in your hair?" Havoc asked, that having not bothered him until today.

"My geography teacher, Mrs. Celt throws chalk at people who sleep in her class…." Jaxith explained.

_And it looks like he's becoming a slacker too. The kid's too much like the Colonel for his own good…._ Havoc sweatdropped.

---------

Now I am at 103 pages! Whoo! Longest story I've written so far! Please review!

1- Sweat tea is like normal tea except that its super-saturated with sugar, making it insanely sweat. I happen to know that the sweat tea my grandmother makes has more sugar in it than any sports drink you can buy at most stores.


	16. Truth Behind Truths?

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: I own only my OCs.

Recap: Atticus gives Jaxith his blessing.

Other Stuff: I am hoping to break 100 reviews this chapter. Really badly hoping. And this chapter is dedicated to Minh-Tuyet who not only wrote me a wonderful review, but also stayed up _really_ late reading this story. So here's one for her and her sleepless night!

Also I fixed the issue with the last chapter.

Previously:

_"My geography teacher, Mrs. Celt throws chalk at people who sleep in her class…." Jaxith explained._

And it looks like he's becoming a slacker too. The kid's too much like the Colonel for his own good…. _Havoc sweatdropped._

Chapter 16: Truth Behind Truths?

Atticus had woke up and wandered into the kitchen of his cousin and son's abode. There was a nice little note on the fridge telling him where everyone was, what he should do, and that there was some cool gritz in the fridge if he wanted some. He smiled and hummed, taking out the gritz and reheating it on the stove top.

"Roy, I hope you can do something for that boy." Atticus muttered to no one. "Because you're the only one who can."

If Roy was there he would have told Atticus very a-matter-a-factly that Edward Elric is the other person who could and _would_ help.

**-break-**

"You are not allowed to skip out on work today." Hawkeye eyed her superior. Mustang groaned.

"I'm working!" He huffed. It was a true statement, Colonel Roy Mustang was actually working. He had a reason to work and be more efficient with his work. That by no means meant that he liked doing it.

_Bring! Bring!_

"Office of Colonel Mustang, First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye speaking." Hawkeye answered the phone with her usual efficiency.

"Put Roy on, will ya?" Atticus's drawl rolled out of the earpiece. Hawkeye said nothing and handed Roy the phone.

"Hello?" Roy asked.

"I'm awake, what do I do now?" Atticus asked.

"You wait for me to have someone pick you up…."

**-break-**

Her Colonel had been known to do strange things from time to time. He was a witty man with great manipulation skills and insight into the bigger picture. He had her respect for that. But what she was doing now was ridiculous!

Colonel Roy Mustang had ordered _her_, Riza Hawkeye, to take Atticus out shopping. Riza wasn't the kind of girl that shopped either, well anything beyond what she needed to live. Still, Riza was a loyal subordinate and if she had to leave on behalf of her Colonel so that he could do his work, she would.

"Sir, what do you need to buy?" She asked her companion politely.

"Don't talk to me like I'm a stranger," Atticus gave her an expression of fake sorrow, "just call me 'Atticus'."

"Atticus, what do you need to buy?" Riza continued on her efficiency track.

"What is there to be bought?" He asked her back, his eyes twinkling.

"What do you mean?" Riza was afraid of the answer.

"Just take the words at plain value, what can one buy in Central?" Atticus started to smirk. It was the same smirk seen on the faces of Roy Mustang and Jaxith Skibbereen. Riza had a new appreciation for Edward's dislike of the smirk.

"Just about anything." Riza hopped he would not ask where some more obscure store was, she probably didn't know.

"What do you buy in Central?" He then asked.

"What kind of question is that?" Riza was caught off guard.

"It is a neutral question, not meaning to cause harm or joy. Will you answer it?" Atticus' smirk grew.

"Necessities." Riza kept it simple, as that was really all she did buy.

"You don't treat yourself to something fun every once in a while?" Atticus raised an eyebrow.

"I buy my dog toys." Riza explained. "I buy my friends presents for their birthdays. Occasionally I'll buy myself a book."

"No dresses?" Atticus looked a little confused. "Mary won't buy anything but dresses."

"I own a small wardrobe of dresses that suit all my needs." Riza kept it simple at home.

"Well, why don't we go to a bookstore?" Atticus suggested.

_This guy is weird._ Riza thought to herself. "Sure."

_What kind of lady doesn't like shopping? She's odd._ Atticus mused._Oh well, just means I'll have a more interesting time of it._

**-break-**

"Boss are you sure its okay to leave the Lieutenant alone with your brother?" Havoc asked his superior.

"Atticus is my nephew." Roy corrected. "Though we claim we're cousins to simplify."

"Still!" Havoc grumped, wanting an answer.

"Atticus will be celebrating his 16th wedding anniversary this year, I doubt he'll touch her inappropriately." Roy waved Havoc off, trying vainly to get his work done.

"Are you sure!?" Havoc slammed his hands on Roy's desk.

"Slamming hands on my desk is a right reserved for Fullmetal. Do that again and I'll court-martial you." Roy glared at Havoc, getting pissed. "And yes, I am sure."

"Thank you!" Havoc snapped, content to have a response.

"Knowing Atticus, Riza will probably be seeing a different side of herself by the end of the day." Roy mumbled, not really caring.

"What does Atticus do for a living?" Fuery asked.

"He's a lawyer." Roy answered. "And he likes to play word games."

"What kind of word games?" Falman asked, curious.

"The kind where you talk yourself into seeing something new about yourself." Roy signed his name. "For all those games he likes to play, it's a pity he didn't use them to help his son find confidence."

"Sometimes you have to do it on your own." Fuery pointed out.

"And sometimes you need something like a overly-energetic blond brat burst into your office and give you a piece of his mind." Roy chuckled slightly.

"What has Edward made you realize about yourself?" Breda asked, curious.

"That staying stuck in the past is dumb." Roy answered cryptically. He then coughed. "Now, I know Hawkeye isn't here to hound everyone, so I'll do it for her."

"Eh?" Was the general response. Roy snapped his fingers making a burst of fire flare just on the seat of everyone's pants.

**"Get to work!!"** He roared.

**-later, after Havoc picks up Jaxith-**

"Havoc, could we swing by the hospital?" Jaxith requested.

"Want to see the Chief, eh?" Havoc smiled. "Sure."

"Can we also stop by a flower shop?" Jaxith added quickly. "Flowers are good gifts."

"Sure thing!" Havoc turned the car onto a new street. He knew the flower shop pretty well. It was a small flower shop, full of all assortments. They were fresh too. Jaxith got out of the car and walked into the shop. He started scanning the shelves.

"Oh!" Jaxith bumped into someone and knocked them to the floor. That someone was his calculus teacher, Ed. "Mr. Ed!"

"Er- hi." Ed muttered awkwardly. Soon Havoc appeared on the scene.

"You're not wearing your glasses." Jaxith observed. Ed had also buttoned up his shirt and tied the bow tie. But he still wore the same abused, grubby pants, and the same strange sandals.

"They are for reading." Ed explained, brushing himself off after having stood up.

"You know him?" Havoc asked, a little confused by the strange man.

"I'm his calculus teacher." Ed told Havoc simply. "And you are?"

"Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc. I work for his uncle." Havoc held out a hand.

"Call me 'Ed' sir." Ed shook Havoc's hand.

"I have a comrade named 'Edward' sir." Havoc made conversation.

"My name isn't 'Edward'." Ed told him simply.

"Euclid!" Ed spun around at the name the new arrival called.

"Avogadro!" Ed blinked, recognizing none other than Al, Jaxith's chemistry teacher.

"What are you doing here?" Al asked playfully, pulling on Ed's pony tail.

"Leave my hair out of your fantasies, Avogadro, I'm married." Ed snorted, unamused.

"Wait!" Jaxith cried in confusion. "What's with 'Euclid' and 'Avogadro'?"

Ed sighed. "My name is Euclid Derivative. My initials, 'Ed' are derived from my name."

"That's a really appropriate name for a calculus teacher." Havoc giggled.

"You make fun of it and I'll give you homework boy." Euclid hissed. Havoc eeped.

"I'm Avogadro Lanthanide, or as Euclid called me in college, 'Al'." Avogadro explained.

"Your name is a chemistry pun." Havoc looked at the man with pity. "You pour thing."

"I was 'Avo' growing up." Avogadro explained, shrugging.

"You two know each other?" Jaxith was amazed.

"Childhood friends actually." Euclid remarked causally. "I'm going to finish buying a solution for my wife." He walked off, leaving Avogadro a bit blue in the face.

"I don't know how his wife puts up with the math puns…." Avogadro muttered.

"Flowers are a solution?" Havoc was confused.

"If you're Euclid they are."

**-hospital-**

"Hey Ed! I have this calculus teacher who calls himself 'Ed' but that's because his initials are 'E' and 'D' because his name is Euclid Derivative and he's a really weird guy because he calls flowers a 'solution'." Jaxith told Edward excitedly in one breath.

Edward, who had been innocently reading the newspaper, just stared at Jaxith a moment, stunned. He couldn't process the words as his mind was trying to process Roy Mustang looking like an over-excited child. After a few more moments his mind realized it was Jaxith and started processing the words.

"That's nice." Edward was a bit wide-eyed from the entire venture.

"Isn't it?" Jaxith smiled. "I got you flowers!" He 'handed' them to Ed.

"T-thanks?" Edward was not expecting a bouquet to be shoved into his face.

"I'll go find a vase." Havoc made himself scarce.

"Hey Ed, Al?" Jaxith asked after Havoc was gone.

"Hmm?" Both brothers turned looked Jaxith in the eye.

"Is it okay for a guy to pull another guy's hair?" Jaxith seemed curious.

"If they're good friends." Edward told Jaxith, not too sure what he meant by that.

"So I could pull your hair and not get punched back for it?" Jaxith cocked his head to the side.

"Er- why?" Edward didn't really like people touching his hair.

"Because it looked fun." Jaxith explained. Child's logic, but Edward had never done it before.

"You're welcome to give it a try this one time." Edward shrugged.

"Thanks!" Jaxith smiled brightly then gave Ed's braid a playful tug. Ed found himself feeling indifferent about it.

"Well you can do that as long as you never pull any harder." Edward told Jaxith, sticking his nose back into the news paper.

"So what are you two going to do when you're recovered?" Jaxith asked.

"Go onto our next lead." Edward told Jaxith plainly.

"Ah." Jaxith sighed.

"We'll hang out more when we get our bodies back." Al assured Jaxith.

"So what are you two going to do once you do get your bodies back?" Jaxith asked, catching both boys off guard.

"I want to go to school." Alphonse said. "Do something normal."

"I want to go back to Risembol." Edward shut his eyes. "But I think I may stay in the military for a little longer."

"Why!?" Al asked, knowing full well Edward planned to wipe his hands of the military affairs.

"Because I owe Mustang a year of my actual cooperation." Ed was thoughtful. "He's gone out of his way a lot for us, the least I can do is give help him a little."

"Equivalent exchange." Jaxith nodded.

"Yeah." Both Elrics nodded back.

"Hey Ed? What's the name of your mechanic?" Jaxith asked.

"Winry Rockbell." Edward answered.

"My friend Mike, wants to date her." Jaxith explained to the questioning eyes.

"Wha-?"

---------

So now we know the names of the infamous 'Ed' and 'Al' the teachers. But who are they really? And what kind of woman is Euclid's wife? And what the heck is Atticus planning to do to Hawkeye!?


	17. Playing Games

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: I own only my OCs.

Recap: Atticus gives Jaxith his blessing.

Other Stuff: 100 reviews! Thank you!!! This is my first story to get that many! Have a good Thanksgiving!

Previously:

_"My friend Mike, wants to date her." Jaxith explained to the questioning eyes._

_"Wha-?"_

Chapter 17: Playing Games

"No really, he does! He's really into automail and stuff!" Jaxith insisted.

"Another automail junkie!?" Ed's expression grew horrified as he thought of Winry producing lots of wrench-throwing minions. Jaxith looked to Al.

"Was it something I said?" He whispered.

"Ed's just remembering having a wrench slammed into his skull, don't mind him." Alphonse waved Jaxith's worries off.

"Why does Winry throw wrenches at you?" Jaxith inquired.

"Er-" Edward wasn't all that sure himself.

**-break-**

"What kind of books do you like to read?" Atticus asked Riza as he browsed the shelves.

"Romance." Riza answered curtly. Atticus grabbed a book and handed it to her._Analyzing Fantasy Romance_ the title read. Riza blinked.

"It's a good book." Atticus assured her and wandered into the back off the store. Riza sighed and opened it up, starting to skim the first chapter.

**-break-**

"So Havoc, why does the seat of your pants look black?" Jaxith asked conversationally.

"Your uncle decided he'd do Hawkeye's job today…." Havoc rubbed his behind.

"So he decided to burn the seat of your pants?" Edward had to hold be snickering. Havoc gave him a dirty look.

"What does Hawkeye do?" Jaxith asked, not seeming to be perturbed by the thought of his uncle burning the seats of people's pants.

"Shoot an inch left of your head." Edward explained.

"Ah." Jaxith nodded.

"Hey Jaxith?" Havoc asked.

"Hmm?"

"Hawkeye is taking your dad shopping, should I be worried?" Havoc asked. Jaxith looked pensive for a minute while he thought about it.

"Probably not." Jaxith shrugged. "I know he won't do any lasting damage because she works for uncle Roy, but he has been known to really twist people…."

"Eh?" Al was confused.

"My dad wanted to be a psychologist but he couldn't get hired after he studied for it, so he went off and got trained to be a lawyer and has been practicing ever since, he really likes to play word games and thought puzzles." Jaxith explained.

"You are the master of run-on sentences." Alphonse sweatdropped.

"So in other words?" Havoc asked.

"Well she'll come back 'enlightened' at the very least…."

**-break-**

Riza had leafed through six different books about the science of romance. She sighed, wishing she hadn't done that. She preferred being more ignorant about the intentions and inner meanings of a romance novel, that meant she could enjoy them.

"I'm done reading your recommendations." She told Atticus flatly.

"But you ought to try this one." Atticus held up another book. "It relates to your situation rather nicely."

"My situation? I do not _have_ a situation. You are delusional." She told him.

"Alright, you might be right." Atticus shrugged and went to the counter and bought the book. Riza glared at it, feeling a sense of dread in her stomach.

"Well, do you know any jewelry stores?" Atticus asked as they came out of the bookstore.

"I can find out." Riza assured him while she remembered Gracia's number.

"Good, because I need to buy something for my wife." Atticus explained. "Maybe you can find something there yourself."

Riza shook her head.

**-break-**

Roy slammed the last piece of paperwork into the out box. He had finished last, but he had finished without the help of Hawkeye. For a good minute he sat there looking so smug and full of himself.

"Sir, if you plan to burn our uniforms again, you're going to have to pay for the replacements." Falman told him, being more and a little annoyed about it.

"Of course." Roy nodded. "Lucky for you I don't plan to do that again anytime soon."

"Say when do you think the Lieutenant will be back?" Breda asked.

"Before dark." Roy quoted Atticus. "Hey, shouldn't Jaxith be here by now?"

His words were met with silence.

**-break-**

Riza walked into the jewelry store. It was her first time in once since her arrival in Central. Atticus followed her and began to skim across the selection. Since she was standing there attempting to be impartial, one of the clerks approached her. He was a tall man with brown hair and grey eyes. He wasn't too handsome, but he was clean cut and nice looking.

"Can I help you ma'am?" He asked her.

"Umm…." Riza wasn't sure what to say.

"Are you buying for yourself?" He asked her before she could explain she was chaperoning Atticus.

"Yes, she is." Atticus told the clerk. "She's a little nervous, first time in a long while to be shopping for jewelry. She's forgotten how y'all see."

"Ah!" The clerk smiled. "Well allow me to help you."

"No really-" She was cut off.

"I insist ma'am." The clerk persisted as he lightly grabbed her wrist and led her towards one of the displays. "I think we have a selection here that will make your eyes sparkle…."

Riza was blushing and flustered. Atticus smirked as she walked by, amused. He enjoyed throwing people out of their element, especially when it was to help them.

**-break-**

"Oh shit." Havoc muttered while looking at the clock.

"What?" Jaxith asked.

"We're about an hour and a half behind schedule." Havoc paled. "Your uncle's going to fry me when we get back…."

Edward snorted. "Al hand me that notepad will ya?" Alphonse obliged his brother. Edward wrote a curt note:

'Don't fry Havoc Bastard!' It read. Ed handed it to Havoc.

"There, you're excused." Edward looked smug.

"Thanks chief!" Havoc smiled and he and Jaxith made their way out of the hospital room.

"See you tomorrow, Ed!" Jaxith waved.

"Hey Ed?" Alphonse asked his brother after they left.

"Yes?"

"Do you think Jaxith will pull your hair again?" Alphonse got a shrug in response.

"I don't mind it that much."

**-break-**

Riza Hawkeye stared at the mirror. She had put on a pair of silver earrings with teal tear drops hanging from them. They glittered beautifully and made her eyes appear a deep, fiery red. Atticus walked up from behind and tugged the hair clip from the stunned woman. Her long blond hair fell like a golden waterfall. This made her look even more stunning.

"Try this on." The clerk dutifully pulled a silver necklace out and put it gingerly around Riza's neck. Riza had known she was pretty, but she hadn't ever pictured herself has gorgeous before. She blinked a few times.

"Now take that smile out of your pocket and put it on, m'dear." Atticus reminded her. Somehow Hawkeye smiled, realizing just how wonderful she looked.

"I'll take these." She told the clerk.

"I would have cried if you hadn't." He told her.

**-break-**

Havoc and Jaxith walked into the office, Roy was glaring at them.

"You are both late." Roy told them.

"Here sir." Havoc handed him Ed's note. Roy read it and started laughing.

"Just call and tell me you're going to be at the hospital." Roy shook his head slightly, getting the funny out of his system.

"Oh, okay." Jaxith seemed fine with this.

"So how was school today?" Breda asked.

"Plain." Jaxith answered after a little thought.

"Isn't though?" Fuery asked. Everyone in the room nodded in agreement.

"Uncle Roy?" Jaxith asked.

"Hmm?"

"Why'd you let papa take Lieutenant Hawkeye out?" Jaxith eyed his great-uncle carefully.

"Because she needs it." Roy answered cryptically.

**-break-**

"I can't believe I just did that…." Riza muttered, distressed that she just bought expensive jewelry and hadn't thought twice about it.

"Well since I couldn't find anything there for Mary, could we try a dress store?" Atticus asked.

"I don't know any." Riza told him.

"I got a recommendation from the clerk." Atticus explained. "Do you know where Scrofron Street is?"

"Yes." Riza sighed and led the way.

**-break-**

A curvy woman with long, black hair and amethyst eyes stood outside a door. She wore a frown on her purple lips and pale skin. On her body she wore a long black dress with black evening gloves and tall black heeled boots. She looked bored.

"Hello Lust." A man in a military uniform approached her. He had slicked back hair, an eye patch, and wrinkles.

"Hello Pride." She greeted him.

"Fullmetal is in the hospital." Pride, or as we would know him, the Fuhrer told her.

"How'd he wind up there?" Lust fingered the red tattoo on her chest. It was of a dragon eating its tail, an orborous.

"Got hit by a car actually." Pride was a little annoyed about this. "But on the other hand he seems to have befriended Mustang's new rat."

"That Jaxith boy." Lust had remembered observing the boy drawing on a bench at the park one day. He didn't strike her as anything special.

"Yes, he's not very strong." Pride explained. "Has a lot of metal issues."

"Why are you telling me this?" Lust asked.

"Actually I was telling you and Envy." Pride corrected her.

"So you noticed me?" A black rat asked from the ground. With a flash of alchemic energy, the rat became a lithe man with long green hair and amethyst eyes. He wore a tight shirt and short skirt around his hips.

"My eye can see through this patch just fine." Pride snorted.

"Well it looks to me like little Jax-bunny is our newest lever in this game." Envy smiled. "I can't wait to use him!"

"Then you'll not mind telling master about his presence then?" Pride asked. Envy glared back, snorting.

"Fine." He left.

**-break-**

"I bet this one would look good on you!" Atticus and another store clerk shoved a dress into Riza's arms. She stared at them, feeling suspiciously set up. Begrudgingly, Riza walked into the back of the store and tried on the dresses. Since only one fit, she modeled it for Atticus and the new clerk (who looked suspiciously like the last clerk, but female).

Riza walked out wearing a dark teal dress. It was floor length with a slit that ran all the way up to her hip. It hung modestly in the front, the straps went over the curves of her biceps rather than around her neck. Her military boots looked terrible with the ensemble, but the rest of it accented her curves and natural beautiful very well.

"Oh very nice!" The clerk exclaimed.

"I think you'll be needing some shoes with that one." Atticus remarked.

"I know just the place!" The clerk exclaimed as she drug Riza to the cash register to pay.

Riza was moaning, not liking being drug around like this.

**-break-**

Havoc's phone rang. Everyone stared at it, awed that the phone _could_ ring.

"I forgot you had a phone." Fuery remarked.

"That's funny," Havoc shot back, insulted, "you're the one who hooked it up." He walked over and answered it.

Everyone in the office watched him intently.

"Hello?"

**-break-**

Riza recognized the shoe shop from the last time she had been shopping for shoes. It had been a pair of running shoes, but it was a familiar store all the same. Since this was the store she visited for her footwear needs, she knew exactly what do to. Dashing in, she sound Sandy, the clerk for the dress shoe department. Sandy was a big woman, with black hair and green eyes.

"Riza!" Sandy often didn't see Riza but in passing when she was in the store.

"Sandy I need a comfortable set of heels to go with this." Riza showed her the dress.

"I think I have just the thing…." Sandy dashed into the back of the store. Around this time Atticus caught up with her.

"So you seem to understand the shopping sprit." Atticus mused.

"No, this is just my shoe store." Riza glared at him. "You tricked me into buying a new, nice formal attire so I'm just going to finish it on my own terms."

"Of course you will." Atticus smiled. "I'm glad you caught on, Roy always did like 'em feisty."

Riza's eyes were as big as dinner plates when Sandy arrived with the choices of shoes.

---------

Yes, it is true, manipulation does run in that family. So what is Riza going to do now? And now the bad guys have appeared! Please drop a review!

And I apologize for taking so long, I had a project and Thanksgiving crash on me this week. Then I got hit by writer's block. I'm writing a little Thanksgiving special to make up for it, that will be up by the end of the weekend. I hope you had a happy Thanksgiving!


	18. A Little Music

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: I highly doubt I would be writing fan fiction if I owned FMA. You'd see Jaxith in the actual series if that was the case.

Recap: Atticus is slowly revealing to Riza her inner girl. And he plans to set her up with his uncle Roy.

Other Stuff: Wow, if the reviewing keeps up, I'll have more reviews than pages soon! That's a really cool and exciting thing. I'm sorry about the neglect this story has had, I've been inspired for Fullflame recently. But I just got the Thanksgiving Special done, despite my engineering project that was due last Tuesday…. I'll probably have to write some sort of reference to that, after all my group's name was NAMA (Neurotically Animated Monkey Astronauts), need I say more?

Previously:

_"Of course you will." Atticus smiled. "I'm glad you caught on, Roy always did like 'em feisty."_

_Riza's eyes were as big as dinner plates when Sandy arrived with the choices of shoes._

Chapter 18: A Little Music

"Hello?" Sandy asked Riza, who continued to stare at Atticus.

"We'll talk about _that_ later." She hissed. Quickly, she turned to Sandy and began to have a look at the small selection intently. She tried all of them on, testing for the most comfortable pair. After a few minutes she had decided and made her purchase promptly, marching out of the store. Atticus followed her.

"Now is later." He reminded her, stopping her in her tracks.

"Why are you doing this?" She hissed, angry.

"Because both of you need it." Atticus explained. "Roy needs a sensible woman in his life and you need someone laid back and causal to calm you down."

"Calm down!?" Riza glared at him. "Do you realize there are laws in place that prevent this sort of behavior between us?!"

"Do you realize that laws are subject to change?" Atticus cut back. "It is better to have love than to have the potential all your life and not try it at least once."

"You are delusional." She glared at him.

"Or is it you in denial?" Atticus cocked his head at her.

"You have no place messing in the affairs of others." She rebutted.

"Ah, but you see the bonds of blood run deeper than the earth in the West," Atticus explained to her as if she was a child, "and one meddles with anyone, time, or thing if it is to help kin."

"I'm not part of your 'kin', leave me out of it." Riza snapped.

"But you have the potential to become such if you want to." Atticus reminded her. "Roy's like a brother to me, he's been very misguided about himself…especially after Ishbal. He throws himself at women, charming them to attempt to keep his real desires at bay."

"What?" Riza blinked.

"His heart set its eyes on you. His mind hasn't caught up yet." Atticus remarked. "I'm taking him shopping tomorrow. I leave the day after, my meddling done."

"That doesn't sound like a complete job." Riza rolled her eyes.

"Ultimately the two of you will have to cross that bridge on your own, it is not my place to walk either of you across, but I can lead you to it. And that is what I am doing." Atticus smirked.

"You are a bastard." Riza saw in Atticus exactly what Ed saw in Roy.

"If a lady such as you says so, it must be true." Atticus chuckled, walking past her.

"Where are you going?" Riza gave him a narrowed gaze.

"This music shop." Atticus pointed at it. "I'm buying for myself this time, I assure you."

Riza stayed outside the shop. About twenty minutes later Atticus emerged with a bag and an instrument case. Riza raised an eyebrow, eyeing the instrument case.

"It's a violin for Jaxith." Atticus explained. "I sat on his last one…." Atticus blushed, embarrassed.

"Oh. And the bag?" Riza looked at it, curious.

"Music for Jaxith and Mary." Atticus explained. "They both sing."

"Oh!" Riza somehow, despite Mary's musical voice, it hadn't occurred to Riza that Mary Sue sang. Jaxith singing was a strange thought, but with his interest in art and, apparently, violin, it didn't seem that far-fetched. Suddenly Riza wondered if Roy could sing. That thought she shut down before it could get anywhere.

"Well, let's head back." Atticus started walking towards Headquarters. Riza quickly followed.

**-break-**

Riza came into the office and was stunned. It was not the fact that the men were playing a game of cards while Jaxith sketched them that caught her off guard, it was the fact that all the paperwork (except for hers) was in the 'Out' boxes.

"You did your work without me?" She blinked, stunned.

"At the expense of my pants, yes." Breda grumbled.

"Well aren't you glad I'm not going to be doing that again?" Roy asked, drawing a card.

"Do I need to know what happened to Breda's pants?" Riza eyed Roy.

"No." was the general response. Riza sighed, walked over to her desk and stared on her paperwork.

"Here's a book for being such a wonderful hostess." Atticus smirked and dropped the novel from the bookstore on Riza's desk before she could protest. He made his way quickly over to Jaxith and handed him the case and a book of music from the bag. Jaxith's eyes got large with surprise; he quickly looked up at his father, grateful.

"Thank you…." He smiled, happy. Atticus ruffled the boy's hair.

"Anytime."

**-break-**

Atticus and Roy were both reading peacefully in the living room of the apartment when they heard a noise. Both men looked up from their books and looked at each other, exchanging the same curious look. There was another noise. Both listened intently. Soon, not noise, but music came calling from down the hall. Both men got up and followed their ears to the open door of Jaxith's room. And in his room Jaxith was playing his new violin with grace and ease. The notes flowed out of the instrument, demonstrating his discipline and practice.

Both men smiled and returned to the living room, not to read, but to listen to Jaxith's music.

**-break-**

Roy Mustang awoke to the smell of breakfast. He climbed off the couch and stumbled into his kitchen to observe Jaxith quietly cooking.

"'Mornin'." Jaxith greeted his great-uncle.

"Good morning." Roy smiled. "Is there an occasion?"

"For pa." Jaxith said simply.

"I'll get him up for you then." Roy made a move to leave.

"Wait!" Jaxith stopped him. "Take a cup of coffee with you."

"Right." Roy remembered that Atticus had a minor caffeine addiction. A little while later the two men returned and sat down to have plates set before them, smile included.

"You cook like me and play like your ma." Atticus chuckled, munching on his pancakes.

"I try my best." Jaxith explained and began to eat his meal.

**-break-**

Jaxith arrived at school a little early that morning. Instead of loitering around he just went straight to class. Euclid was sitting in there with is back to Jaxith, his hair still up in a ponytail. Upon hearing the boy enter, Euclid turned around, revealing that he had his glasses and shirt unbuttoned.

"You dress strangely." Jaxith commented after a while.

"When you've led a life like mine, you're entitled to be a little exocentric." Euclid answered simply. "You will still be calling me 'Ed'."

"Of course Ed." Jaxith responded automatically.

"And you will call Avogadro 'Al' as well."

"Yes." Jaxith didn't understand exactly why his teachers chose to be called strange things, but decided it wasn't his place to ponder that.

"Did your solution work?" Jaxith inquired.

"It's not a true solution if it doesn't." Euclid answered cryptically. "By the way, stay out of fights."

"I don't intend-" Jaxith was cut off.

"Edging people on with words is a great way to get into fights." Euclid cut him off. "That's how you wound up sending another student to the hospital. That's not a very productive thing to do."

"Why do you even care?" Jaxith eyed his teacher.

"Because I care about the welfare of my students- a broken and beaten student doesn't learn well." Euclid was passionate. "I chose to become a teacher to make a difference in this world. I believe that by giving the next generation skills and knowledge they will be better equipped to deal with the challenges that are to come."

Jaxith blinked. He hadn't heard this philosophy before.

"And then, hopefully, they won't make the mistakes my generation did…." Euclid finished, seeming to be thoughtful and melancholy.

"Good luck." Jaxith wished him sincerely.

"Thanks."

**-break-**

Roy and Atticus walked down the streets stopping in front of various stores, but not actually going in.

"Atticus I'm not an instrument, don't play me." Roy eyed his nephew wearily. Unlike Riza, Roy grew up with Atticus and didn't fall into his games easily.

"Why don't we get you a new suit?" Atticus suggested. "For that lady you want to impress."

"I don't really need one." Roy snorted.

"I beg to differ." Atticus glared.

"And who might this lady be?" Roy wasn't going to buy a suit unless he knew who he was trying to match.

"The one right underneath your nose." Unlike Riza, Roy could not be told who he was going to be with without dire consequences.

"Very funny."

"I'll have Jaxith make your life miserable with that violin of his if you don't cooperate." Atticus smirked; then again, manipulation did run in the family.

"You play dirty." Roy glared at his nephew.

"So do you, but you just play a different game than mine." Atticus grinned.

And that is how Roy found himself with a new suit.

**-break-**

Riza was a little early to pick up Jaxith, so she stood outside the car, waiting. A few other mothers were also standing around waiting. One walked over to her.

"Hello, I don't believe I've met you." The woman greeted Riza. "I'm Lucy Patterson." Lucy was a slight woman with dark brown hair and blue eyes.

"I'm Riza Hawkeye." Riza introduced herself quickly.

"I'm here for my daughter, Samantha, you?" Lucy asked conversationally.

"My commanding officer's nephew." Riza explained honestly.

"Ah!" Lucy had noticed the uniform, now it made more sense. At that time the bell rang and the children came running out of the building. Jaxith and Samantha D. walked over.

"Hey mom, this is my new friend Jaxith." Sam introduced Jaxith to her mother, Lucy. "Jaxith, this is my mom, Lucy."

"Nice to meet you, ma'am." Jaxith gave a quick bow, delighting Lucy.

"Nice to meet you too." Lucy smiled.

"Oh Sam, this is Riza Hawkeye, she works with my uncle." Jaxith introduced them quickly.

"He's the nephew?" Lucy blinked. "What a coincidence!"

"Indeed." Riza was amused.

**-break-**

When Jaxith and Riza arrived at the hospital Ed and Al were in the lobby.

"Hey!" Ed waved.

"You're walking!" Jaxith gasped, stunned.

"Yeah, they're letting me go finally." Edward yawned.

"Brother wasn't as badly beat up as he looked." Alphonse explained quickly.

"That's good to hear." Riza remarked.

"Hey, can you give us a ride to the dorms?" Ed asked.

"Sure."

----------

I'm ending it there because I just got hit by some more writer's block, or just tiredness- I'm not sure which at the moment. I'll try to have an update later, but next week is finals week, so no promises.


	19. A New Project

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Recap: Jaxith can play the violin, he's just that talented.

Other Stuff: Writer's block was killing me, cookies have saved me. There's a Thanksgiving Special up for this story, it's called I'm Thankful for my Family and it's a Roy-centric piece about the last time he was back in Clayston. I'll probably hint to it later, but I will not cover it in this story, so I highly recommend reading it.

Previously:

_"Hey, can you give us a ride to the dorms?" Ed asked._

_"Sure."_

Chapter 19: A New Project

Once again Jaxith was drawing pictures of Edward in the car. Since his constant drawing was a common sight, no one paid it any heed. Jaxith on the other hand spent most of the car ride glaring at his paper, frustrated that he couldn't capture Edward's eyes perfectly. For some reason when Jaxith gets frustrated while drawing he starts singing; this habit was probably inherited from his mother who sings when she gets frustrated.

"For fame and for fortune, I've wandered the earth." Jaxith sang loudly and irritably (which clashed terribly with the lyrics he was singing).

"Jaxith?" Riza asked, concerned.

"And now I've come back to, this land of my birth." He went on, erasing carefully as he prepared to redraw the eye for the fourth time.

"You okay?" Alphonse inquired, Edward sharing a similar expression. Jaxith on the other hand, remained oblivious.

"I've brought back my treasures, but only to find: they're less than the pleasures, I first left behind." Jaxith began to relax, his tones turning into peaceful and joyful, fitting the song better. Quickly his hand began to draw the eye, this time getting it perfect.

"For these are my mountains, and this is my glen. The braes of my childhood, will know me again. No land's ever claimed me, tho' far did I roam. For these are my mountains, and I'm going home!" Jaxith finished singing and drawing at the same time, smiling like a fool afterwards.

"What was that about?" Riza inquired.

"What was what about?" Jaxith was confused.

"You were singing just now." Ed pointed out.

"Oh, I sing when I get frustrated when I draw sometimes. I don't even realize I'm doing it." Jaxith explained, blushing in embarrassment. "I'm not in trouble?"

"It's okay, brother starts reciting the periodic table when he's under stress." Alphonse explained.

"I do not!" Ed snapped, annoyed.

"Yes, I hear you reciting it while we're fighting all the time." Alphonse gave him a knowing eye.

"Shut up!" Edward was blushing in embarrassment. Jaxith found Edward blushing endearing.

"Behave or I'm pulling over." Riza reminded them.

"Yes ma'am." They all quieted down.

**-break-**

"Well Jaxith, your father got off safely." Roy reported for his great-nephew when he arrived. "Good to see you out of the hospital, Fullmetal."

"Yeah, yeah. I have to go visit my mechanic." Edward was using a crutch to maneuver with his automail leg.

"Obviously." Roy was sarcastic. "When will you be back?"

"Two weeks or so." Edward informed Roy.

"I'll extend your medical leave then." Roy picked up a form and filled it out quickly. It was then Edward noticed that there was no paperwork on Roy's desk.

"You're doing your work." Edward noticed.

"I always do my work, Fullmetal." Roy snapped irritably.

"He's doing it now so that Jaxith doesn't have to wait for him to get done." Riza whispered to Edward. "And now the higher ups are considering promoting him." Edward rolled his eyes, knowing that Roy was a bit power-hungry sometimes.

"There will be a mission for you when you return. Have a nice trip, give me a detailed report on how well your make-out session goes…." Roy prattled, purposely trying to irk Edward. It worked.

**"She's just my mechanic!!"** Edward bellowed, again red in the face. "You are a pervert!" Edward turned on his heels and stormed out the door, which was a remarkable feat in crutches.

"Uncle Roy, why _do_ you do that?" Jaxith asked, half glaring at his uncle.

"Because it's fun?" Roy wasn't sure how he felt about Jaxith glaring at him.

"You need to rethink your sense of humor." Jaxith muttered, though no one heard him.

**-break-**

The next day of school was passing normally until von Kisper's class.

"Today we will be beginning a project on state alchemists." Von Kisper announced. "You will come up here and draw a name out of this hat. Skibbereen, you're first."

Jaxith came up and drew a name. Alex Louis Armstrong, Strong Arm Alchemist. Jaxith paled as he went back to his seat. The rest of the class time was spent being given an overview of the assignment.

**-break-**

Jaxith sat down to lunch at an empty table, trying to place his thoughts. Researching Armstrong sounded scary, especially after the experience with the Academy he went to earlier. With an audible 'click' another tray was set next to his.

"Hey Jaxith." Michel told his friend as he sat down.

"Hey Mike, miss me already?" Jaxith teased him. He had discovered that Michel preferred to spend his lunches in Euclid's room. This was because Euclid's wife would always bake him cookies with functions written on them, and if Michel correctly answered the nerdy math question of the day, he got to eat one.

"I just got out of von Kisper's class." Michel moaned, setting his chin on the table theatrically.

"Oh? Who'd you get?" Jaxith asked, already knowing the reason.

"Roy Mustang, Flame Alchemist." Michel explained.

"My uncle." Jaxith stated.

"And Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist too because I made a smart-ass comment." Michel sighed. Von Kisper had been known to give students extra work if he thought they needed it.

"And Ed too?" Jaxith's eyebrows perked up at this. "You're lucky, Ed's been working under my uncle his entire career, so they're interrelated."

"I didn't know that." Michel pulled his head off the table. "How'd you know that?"

"I live with my uncle?" Jaxith responded.

"Okay, that was a dumb question." Michel laughed.

"I got Alex Louis Armstrong, Strong Arm Alchemist." Jaxith paled.

"I've heard almost as many horror stories about the Armstrong sparkles as I have horror stories from the West…." Michel admitted, paling in sympathy.

"Well, I'm going to ask my uncle about him." Jaxith remarked. "That's a primary source, right?"

"I think the best would be to ask the guy directly…." Michel pointed out.

"You could ask von Kisper about my uncle." Jaxith pointed out. "He told me that he was my uncle's commanding officer in Ishbal."

"Are you nuts?" Michel paled. "He hates me!"

"Okay, so that was a bad idea." Jaxith waved it off and started to eat.

"Actually I was wondering if I could come and visit you and your uncle sometime and ask him myself…." Michel admitted.

"I don't see why not." Jaxith smiled.

"Cool, so you can give your uncle a call right now?" Michel asked.

"Er- what?" Jaxith was unsure.

"Well why don't you call your uncle so I can see him tonight?" Michel asked.

**-break-**

Roy Mustang got a lot of different calls during the day, like any sensible person he had someone filter them for him. Unlike a sensible person he had a military strategist (Heymans Breda) filtering his calls instead of his communication expert (Kain Fuery) or his baby-sitter (Riza Hawkeye). The real reason this was a problem was that Breda had an interesting sense of humor and an even more interesting sense of importance.

"Colonel Mustang's office, Second Lieutenant Heymans Breda speaking." Breda answered Jaxith's call with perfect military efficiency.

"Breda? Could I speak to my uncle?" Jaxith asked.

"How important is it?" Breda asked, glancing over his shoulder as a sleeping Roy Mustang (whose paperwork was notably finished).

"I need to ask him something." Jaxith explained.

"One sec." Breda pulled the phone away from his mouth and turned to Havoc. "Hey Havoc, do you think a minor inquiry is enough worth waking the Colonel for?"

Havoc thought about it. "…No."

"Sorry, he's really busy." Breda told Jaxith.

"I wanted to know if I could bring a friend home with me today." Jaxith explained, his voice pleading.

"One sec." Breda turned to Falman. "Could you can drive two passengers?"

"I would hope so." Falman gave Breda an exasperated look.

"Yeah, its okay." Breda assured him.

"Thank you!" Jaxith hang up.

"What was that about?" Fuery inquired.

"Someone calling and making an inquiry about Falman's ability to drive." Breda left it at that.

**-break-**

When Falman arrived to pick up Jaxith, he was not expecting Michel to pop in the car too.

"Falman, this is my friend Mike, Mike this is Falman." Jaxith made the introductions quickly.

"Charmed." Falman turned around and shook Michel's hand. Falman turned his attention to the road, hoping that when Roy got up from his nap all hell wouldn't break loose.

**-break-**

Michel had never been in Headquarters before, and to him it was scary. The building was too white, too rectangular, and definitely too big. The interior was too formal and people wore too much blue. Not to mention no one looked like they were having any fun, they were all serious. People marched in lines and flanked, not to mention the obvious hierarchy order of rank. Michel really didn't like watching people march, it scared him.

"Who's this?" Danny Broch, a tall man with a kind face and blond hair inquired.

"This is Mike." Falman reported dutifully.

"Mike what?" Broch asked.

"Mike Grevalo." Michel answered, shyly.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Danny Broch." Broch introduced himself. Michel shook hands with him.

"And you must be Jaxith, Hawkeye told me about you." He shook Jaxith's hand too. "Well, see you!" And with that, Danny Broch was gone.

"You meet new people everyday…." Jaxith muttered, remembering that phrase from somewhere.

"So why is Mr. Grevalo with us today?" Falman asked as the group made their way to Mustang's Office.

"I have to do a report on the Flame and the Fullmetal Alchemists." Michel explained.

"You're lucky, the Colonel finished his paperwork early today." Falman smiled. "He's available for an interview."

"Oh that's good." Michel let out a sigh of relief.

"Well here we are." Falman opened the door a smidge to see if Roy was awake. Roy was awake listening to some kind of lecture from Riza while absently drinking a cup of coffee. Falman quickly opened the door the rest of the way.

"Colonel, Sir!" Falman saluted his commanding officer. "I have brought Jaxith and his companion here."

"Thank you Warrant Officer, please go back to work." Roy responded automatically. Within a moment of Michel's entering the room he realized and processed the 'companion' part.

"Second Lieutenant Breda?" Roy eyed his comrade.

"Yes sir?"

"What makes you think you have the authority to allow civilians unto base?" Roy asked.

"It's done all the time. Edward's always bringing people onto base-" Breda argued.

"Major Elric is of the rank and reputation that gives him the authority to do that." Roy reminded Breda.

"But sir, I'm allowed to bring a prostitute onto base any day of the week and no one would care!" Breda protested.

"Too much information…." Michel muttered privately to Jaxith and made a face.

"Breda, do I really want to know how the hell you know that?" Roy asked, not really amused.

"If you live in the dorms like the rest of us you'd know it's commonplace." Fuery sighed.

"I'm a Colonel, I don't have to put up with shit like that." Roy defended himself dryly.

"But there are regulations about excess personnel that are and aren't allowed on base, I'm not too sure Michel qualifies." Falman explained, ever reciting the rules.

"But Mike's an automail mechanic!" Jaxith announced quickly.

"Is he?" Roy looked curious. Michel gave Jaxith a nervous glance, to which he got a wink in return.

"Yes, I am." Michel was quiet about it.

"Well that would make him qualified personnel then." Falman nodded.

"Breda, if Jaxith calls me again, just wake me up." Roy ordered. "Now," he turned to the boys, "how can I help you?"

Michel eeped.

--------

Whoo! An amazing bit of inspiration! Thank you cookies! If you review I'll explain how the cookies saved me.


	20. Simple Inquiries

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: I own Jaxith? Does that count?

Recap: Michel and Jaxith were given State Alchemist research projects!

Other Stuff: FINALS ARE OVER! YAY! Oh and there's a drabble story that aligns with this one if you are interested. Its called Well, it goes like this…. .

Previously:

_"Breda, if Jaxith calls me again, just wake me up." Roy ordered. "Now," he turned to the boys, "how can I help you?"_

_Michel eeped._

Chapter 20: Simple Inquiries

Roy Mustang smirked, amused by how uncomfortable he had made Michel; after all he was sitting at his desk in full uniform, scrutinizing the boy as if he was a piece of meat. Michel looked like he had just been thrown into a boiling pot of water and didn't know how to swim. Jaxith seemed relaxed and casual in a way Roy didn't see him ever take on at headquarters. Jaxith was always polite and alert when he was in the office, but right now he looked like he did when he was out on the streets. Roy promptly decided that this change of behavior was due to Michel's presence.

"We just got a research project for school involving State Alchemists, we were wondering if you could answer some questions for us." Jaxith explained, grabbing Michel's hand and pulling him further into the room.

"Ah, and you do realize there are some things I can't answer?" Roy gave Jaxith a no nonsense look. "Some of the things I know are confidential."

"That's okay, we're just trying to use the resources we have available to us here and now." Jaxith explained.

"And your name is?" Roy looked Michel straight in the eye. It startled Michel to see a face that looked just like his friend's so serious and hard.

"M-michel Grevalo." Michel was sweating a little. Roy flashed him a nice and charming smile.

"Sorry, I don't mean to be scary." Roy told him. "I tend to be a bit overly serious when I'm at work."

"Really." Hawkeye remarked sarcastically. Michel blinked, not expecting that.

"Say, Lieutenant do you think you could secure some coffee for our guests?" Roy asked her.

"I suppose…." Riza rolled her eyes and left.

"Coffee?" Jaxith frowned.

"She knows not to get you coffee." Roy assured him. "Well, take a seat and tell me about your project."

"Well it's a research project about the lives and contributions of our assigned State Alchemist." Michel explained. "But I got assigned two…."

"Who's your teacher?" Roy seemed confused, knowing that giving out extra work to certain students is a generally frowned upon practice.

"Hey boss, did you ever pay the school back for their tree?" Jean asked from his desk.

"Yes I did!" Roy snapped, irritated that Jean mentioned that in front of Michel.

"Tree?" Michel looked at Jaxith, confused.

"Alchemy accident." Jaxith kept it at that. "Our teacher is von Kisper."

"Ex-military?" Roy asked.

"Yup!" Jaxith smiled.

"That explains a lot…." Roy groaned. "You both have my deepest sympathies."

"So it's true he was your commanding officer then?" Michel was awed.

"Von Kisper? Wait you mean Colonel von Kisper!?" Falman gasped in recollection.

"He's a teacher now." Jaxith told Falman.

"You poor souls…." Falman shuddered.

"So he was this bad when he was in the military?" Michel asked.

"Probably worse, he always had a soft spot for young people." Roy remarked. "So what are the details of the project?"

"So he's being nice to me?" Michel paled.

"Project?" Roy looked at Jaxith, obviously not wanting to continue that conversation.

"I was assigned to do my report on the Strong Arm Alchemist. Here's a copy of the assignment." Jaxith handed him a paper. Roy looked it over quickly.

"And you were assigned who?" Roy glanced up from the paper at Michel expectantly.

"The Fullmetal Alchemist and," Michel paused and took a breath, "you."

**-break-**

"I see, so there is another potential bargaining chip hmm?" An elderly woman smiled.

"Yeah, the Flame's nephew." Envy told her.

"He's not a threat?" The woman asked.

"Nope." Envy confirmed. "Just some brat he's been told to look after."

"For right now I want you to do nothing involving this 'Jax-bunny' you've been talking about." The woman instructed. "Now I need you to go back to Central and start working on the other plan."

"Of course." Envy waved and left.

"Who the heck names their child 'Jax-bunny'?" The woman mumbled to herself.

**-break-**

Roy was laughing. "Oh I see what you're up to!"

"Er-" Michel wasn't sure what to think.

"Well I can't answer most of the questions concerning Fullmetal; he's up to a lot of classified work at the moment." Roy explained honestly. "It's funny how I can tell how much money he owes the state for various expenses, but I can't tell you what hotel he last stayed at."

"He owes the state money?" Michel gave Roy a look of disbelief, since the Fullmetal Alchemist was one of his heroes.

"He eats a lot." Roy had made it a personal policy to make his subordinates look good on all occasions. "And sometimes he'll be in the middle of a battle and transmute something someone cares about, then they sue the State when they realize their precious fountain or whatever is still transmuted after the fight is over. Even though it escapes them that not having transmuted that would have probably got them killed."

"Oh I see." Michel nodded, being a big eater himself.

"Well I can't answer some of the questions about myself just yet either." Roy cut Michel off before he could protest. "I'm not too sure what is and isn't confidential for a few things about Ishbal. I'll check with my commanding officer and get you your answers."

"That makes sense." Michel nodded.

"Uncle Roy, why is it that the military is always keeping secrets?" Jaxith asked innocently.

"…." Roy was quiet and remorseful for a while. "War is a terrible, terrible thing."

"One of my friend's father was drafted during Ishbal." Michel looked at Jaxith, a little amazed he hadn't heard any stories about war. "He told me that you see the absolute worst sides of people and humanity in general on a battlefield. He also said that there some things in this world that are better left forgotten."

"He's correct." Hawkeye agreed as she came in and handed the boys their drinks. "I still have troubles around loud explosions."

"Really?" Roy was amazed.

"And you are the one to blame." Riza glared at him. Roy eeped.

"Eh?" Michel was confused.

"Oh! Uncle Roy's alchemy is basically the art of blowing stuff up." Jaxith explained.

"Oh." Michel felt dumb.

"Michel would you like me to write out the answers for you and return them a little later?" Roy asked Michel, sensing how uncomfortable he was.

"Yeah!" Michel agreed.

"I'll also include a letter concerning Fullmetal, it's not your fault the military won't let you get a good grade. If he gets grumpy let me know so I can-" Roy was cut off.

**Bring! Bring!**

"Colonel Mustang speaking." Roy answered it quickly. "Fullmetal? I just extended his medical leave…. Yes I am aware of that…. No, it's for his automail…. Yes I did speak to him about that…. I can't answer that question! …There's a civilian in the room…. My nephew! …Yes sir."

"Should I leave?" Jaxith asked quietly. Roy nodded.

"No sir… Yes sir he's leaving." Roy explained to the person on the other side while Jaxith and Michel headed out into the hallway.

"So the Fullmetal Alchemist isn't in." Michel looked disappointed.

"He's busy." Jaxith remarked. "Would you like to see a picture of him?"

"Picture?" Michel was curious. Jaxith pulled out his sketchbook and showed him an image of Edward reading on the couch in his uncle's office.

"He does that while he's waiting to give an oral report." Jaxith explained.

"This is really good!" Michel was amazed.

"Yeah, I told him about you. Apparently he has a slight fear of wrenches from his mechanic." Jaxith remembered talking to Alphonse about that.

"Who's this?" Michel pointed at a picture of Alphonse's armor.

"That's his younger brother, Alphonse Elric." Jaxith explained.

"Hey Jaxith, could you do a drawing for me?" Michel asked after a while.

"Of what?"

"My mother…."

**-break-**

Since it was late by the time Roy was excused from the office, Michel had to call his parents.

"Hey, dad?" Michel asked.

"Dammit boy! I was having a drink!" A voice roared on the other end.

"Sorry." Michel hung up quickly. He slowly turned and faced all the military personnel in the room.

"My father has a little bit of a drinking problem." Michel explained. "He is getting help for it but if he starts I'm supposed to leave the house and not come back until the next day."

"So you can't go home?" Roy asked, a little unsettled by this news.

"Well I have to stay either at a friend's or at my Safe House. But the family at my Safe House is on vacation and they live too far from school…." Michel sighed.

"You'll be spending the night with us then." Roy nodded. "Come on, let's head out."

"Are you sure it's okay?" Michel was a little nervous.

"It'd be rude for me to strand you like that, especially when a soldier's first duty is to help the people." Roy smiled. "I've heard of the program your father's in, it works pretty well."

"It's hard to explain to others sometimes." Michel admitted.

"I understand that sort of thing all too well…." Roy moaned.

"Hmm?" Jaxith's ears poked up.

"Do you think you could explain to Michel why pa does that chicken thing?" Roy looked at his great-nephew seriously.

"Oh, _that."_ Jaxith knew full well he would have trouble explaining that too.

"Chicken thing?" Michel looked at them.

"Western thing." Roy's expression told Michel this part of the conversation was over.

**-break-**

"I had no idea you knew how to cook!" Jaxith exclaimed as he and Michel peeled potatoes. Michel chuckled.

"Well I learned the hard way I guess." Michel laughed. "I didn't know you could cook either."

"I'm an only child and my mom wanted really badly to teach someone how to cook…." Jaxith explained.

**Boom!**

"What was that?" Michel asked, a little afraid.

"Probably an alchemy thing?" Jaxith suggested. "I'm not sure." He set down his potatoes and walked into the living room to see his uncle scribbling fiercely on some paper.

"Uncle Roy?" Jaxith inquired.

"Sorry, its okay." Roy assured him, not really moving away from whatever he was writing.

"Okay." Jaxith came back into the kitchen and shrugged.

"Does stuff like this happen often?" Michel asked.

"I haven't been here long enough to answer that." Jaxith admitted.

"How long have you been in Central?" Michel gave Jaxith a dubious look.

"Almost three weeks." Jaxith answered and started cutting up and washing the vegetables.

"Only three weeks!?" Michel was stunned.

"Yeah, when my family decides to do something, it gets done quickly." Jaxith laughed.

"Sorry." Roy came into the kitchen smelling of ash. "The chicken thing reminded me of something pa wanted me to investigate…."

"You smell." Michel made a face.

"Not as bad as Havoc." Roy chuckled.

"Clean yourself up Roy Andrew, or you're not getting dinner!" Jaxith waved a spatula to prove his point.

"Okay! Fine!" Roy retreated from the kitchen.

"You can do that to him?" Michel was amazed.

"He's family." Jaxith's face held a toothy grin.

--------

So now we have Michel over for the evening because he has family problems. Whatever will happen from this? And what the heck will Roy write as information?


	21. Chitchatting

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: I own Jaxith? Does that count?

Recap: Michel winds up spending the night at Jaxith and Roy's place.

Other Stuff: I'm making a Jax-bunny plushie!!! Which has been distracting me from writing my next update. Well that along with domestic issues and strange visiting grandmothers…. And the fact I turned 19 and had a party and stuff….

Previously:

_"You can do that to him?" Michel was amazed._

_"He's family." Jaxith's face held a toothy grin._

Chapter 21: Chit-chatting

Michel and Jaxith finished setting the table and putting all the food out by the time Roy returned from the shower. Being a practical man, Roy had changed into his pajamas, which were remarkably disappointing. They were not made of some exotic fabric, such as Xingese silk, nor were they covered with intricate designs- in fact, they were plaid. Plaid flannel pajamas that could be purchased at any thrift store.

"You know I thought you'd own silk pajamas…." Michel remarked, caught off guard by Roy's dark blue, forest green and yellow plaid pajamas.

"Despite my reputation as a sex god, I'm actually still a virgin." Roy smirked, amused.

"What the hell?" Michel stared at him.

"Oh, that's why great-grandpa sent you the condoms…." Jaxith started laughing.

"Speaking of which I found one in your office…." Michel held up the offending condom.

"That was from an incident in the opening of the package…." Roy seemed a little embarrassed by that. "There are a few we missed when we picked them all up…."

"How do you know that?" Michel asked.

"Well my dad sent my 75 condoms, only 68 of which we have accounted for, that's 69 now." Roy corrected himself as he sat down.

"So there are six unaccounted for condoms in your office?" Michel was stunned.

"Yup." Roy looked at the food. "I can't say I was expecting this for dinner…." Vegetable stew with a side of toast was not a very Western meal.

"What were you expecting?" Michel was confused; stew was a perfectly normal thing to eat.

"Something with grits or something that was fried, or maybe both." Roy explained. "Well thank you boys for making it."

"Try it first, then thank us." Jaxith rolled his eyes. Roy remembered Atticus was the same way when Roy made a comment like that before he tried the meal. Casually Roy took a spoonful of stew. It was warming and juicy.

"You used chicken!" Roy gasped; the flavor was unexpected but still good.

"There wasn't any beef." Jaxith answered, eating his own portion.

"I'm still impressed you guys have a refrigerator, my dad's been after one for years." Michel looked at the machine in awe.

"There isn't space for an icebox in here." Roy answered simply. "And I am a war vet, the military is nice to war vets."

"Oh that's right, you were in Ishbal…." Michel remembered. "I knew your alchemist title was familiar…."

"Yeah, 'Hero of Ishbal'." Roy trailed off, his expression growing dark and mournful.

"'Old men talk about the glory of it, middle aged men pay for it, and the boys just want to go home.'" Jaxith recited.

"Aye." Roy nodded.

"A family friend of mine is an Ishbal vet too, he was a grunt." Michel explained.

"Who was he assigned to?" Roy asked.

"The Iron Blood Alchemist." Michel answered. "His job was to protect the guy with his life."

Roy frowned and said nothing.

"Umm, say do you think this tension we're having with Drachma will become a war?" Michel asked Roy, sounding concerned and fearful.

"Well as a soldier I'm supposed to tell you that you're imaging things and that the situation is completely under control, as a Colonel with some insider information I think my superiors might be warmongering with the way they've been handling it." Roy snorted in disgust. "And as a war vet, I'll tell you I sure hope that it doesn't lead to that."

"Damn." Michel muttered. "I'm almost drafting age."

"You're an automail mechanic, right?" Roy asked. Michel nodded. "Well that means that you're someone we don't want killed because you have to put the survivors back together afterwards…."

"That's morbid." Jaxith remarked, looking green.

"That's the truth." Roy rolled his eyes. "I'm more worried about Edward and Alphonse."

"Who are they?" Michel asked.

"Edward Elric is the Fullmetal Alchemist." Roy explained. "Alphonse is his younger brother and both are extremely talented alchemists. If there's a war, Edward is going to the front, and Alphonse would be high on the drafting list."

"I thought it was random!" Michel exclaimed.

"It's slanted ever so slightly." Roy admitted. "Slanted so that they don't drag wealthy people's children into it, pick on the poor, then select the more talented and famous non-enlisted alchemists."

"That's terrible!" Michel exclaimed.

"No, its politics." Jaxith retorted.

"You're sounding more like your dad every day." Roy chuckled.

"So how are you two related?" Michel asked.

"Well…." The two Westerners began.

**-break-**

"I'm amazed your uncle admitted that stuff about Drachma to me." Michel remarked, amazed as he pulled on his pajamas.

"Well alchemists seek truth, that's what Edward says. So they try to tell others the truth too." Jaxith smiled. "But out West we try to tell it like it is, unless it's whether or not grandma's dress looks flattering on her, to which the answer is _always_ yes."

Michel laughed. "Ah! I get it."

"Most do." Jaxith smiled.

"So, uh, what's in the toy box?" Michel asked, eyeing it.

"Subjects for drawing." Jaxith's tone stated the conversation was over. (1)

"Okay."

**-break-**

**Bam! Bam!** "Get up!" Roy's voice hollered through the door. Jaxith grunted and climbed out of bed. Of course he forgot Michel was there and tripped over him.

**Thump!** "Ow!" "Munph!"

"What the hell is goin' on in there boys!?" Roy's voice carried an audible Western accent.

"Nothin'!" Jaxith cried back.

"Just waking up!" Michel managed not to moan in pain; not liking getting woken up by a boy landing on him first thing.

"Be out in ten!" Roy called, his footsteps retreating down the hall.

"Come on, it's my turn to make breakfast…." Jaxith turned on the lights, making Michel squeak.

"What time is it!?" Michel gasped.

"Six twenty-five," there was a pause while the unawake Jaxith processed what that meant, "huh. Uncle Roy woke us up twenty minutes early." Jaxith's eyes were mostly shut and he looked disheveled and groggy.

"Your pajamas!" Michel didn't notice them last night, but in this mornings' blinding light, he saw them out and clear. They were red silk with carefully embroidered black dragon designs. Definitely imported from Xing.

"Yeah?" Jaxith pulled on his abused pair of brown bunny slippers (they were once pink).

"You're wearing the pajamas I always imagined your uncle having." Michel explained.

"My pa gave them to me for my last birthday." Jaxith told him and walked out of the room. Michel shook his head and followed his friend into the kitchen.

**-break-**

Euclid's eyes got extremely wide when Michel and Jaxith entered his room together talking about their little 'sleepover' from the night before. Euclid blushed, shook his head and buried his nose in the nearest math book. To add to the strange behavior, Euclid didn't look either student in the eye for the rest of the day.

"What the heck did you do to him?" Samantha asked her friends. They shrugged. She sighed.

They made a perfect picturesque high school scene.

**-break-**

"What did you do to my automail this time!?" Winry screamed as she swung a wrench around menacingly.

"I didn't do anything to it!" Edward yelled back.

"Then _why_ it is broken!?" Winry yelled back.

"Brother got hit by a car, it wasn't his fault!" Alphonse tried to explain and calm both teens.

"You idiots!" Both boys got hit with wrenches.

"Ow!" Edward fell back onto his butt, unable to get up with his current lack of operational limbs.

"Serves you right!" Winry huffed.

**-later-**

"So what have you two been up too?" Winry asked conversationally.

"Well we made a new friend while we were in Central…." Alphonse began.

"His name is Jaxith Skibbereen, he's the Colonel's great-nephew." Edward finished for his brother.

"How's that work?" Winry raised an eyebrow, dubious.

"The Colonel comes from a Western family, he's got a sister twenty one years older than him." Alphonse explained. Winry nodded.

"His mother is insane." Edward added with a groan.

"Whose?" Winry inquired, "the Colonel's or Jaxith's?"

"Both!" The Elrics quickly clarified.

"Oh dear…." Pinako, Winry's grandmother, remarked as she walked into the room. "Experienced your own Western horror story?"

"You don't know the half of it." Edward was a little blue in the face.

"We've had Western customers before." Pinako gave Ed a flat look. "They aren't as bad as people make them out to be."

"That's until they go psycho and point a shot gun at you…." Edward muttered under his breath.

"Oh, that only happens when you get them mad." Winry told Edward dismissively.

"Oh and Winry! Jaxith has this friend from school named- Michel -who's trying to become an automail engineer. He wanted to talk to you sometime, maybe have tea or something." Alphonse informed his childhood friend.

"There's a man out there at appreciates my work!?" Winry had stars in her eyes.

"Who could possibly love a mechanic freak like you?" Edward snorted. Winry did not take well to this and proceeded to bash his face in with a wrench. Alphonse sweatdropped while he and Pinako sat on the side and observed the very typical behavior from the two.

**-break-**

"So Jaxith, are you doing anything tonight?" One of the girls at his lunch table asked him.

"Er, nothing, why?" Jaxith asked, having a feeling of dread wash over him.

"I was wondering if you could come with me to the library so that we could do our history research projects together." The girl explained.

"Um, I have to call my uncle first, he picks me up after school and all…." Jaxith trailed off.

"Oh certainly! I don't want you to get in trouble!"

**"Jaxith Skibbereen, Jaxith Skibbereen, please report to the main office."** The announcement chimed over the intercom.

"Excuse me." Jaxith stood up and started heading toward the office, completely unsure why he had been summoned.

---------

And I leave you with a cliffhanger! Ha!

1- See Well, it goes like this,,, (my series of shorts and one shots associated with this story) to see what Jaxith actually keeps in that box.

I'm sorry this chapter was kind of lame, as I stated earlier there are some domestic issues at my home right now, actually pretty bad domestic issues. They are really distracting. Thankfully they are mostly over now (I hope) and the next chapter will have some better quality. Anyways, because of these issues I've been down and it would make me really happy if you left a review.


	22. Wha?

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: Don't sue me.

Recap: Last chapter was a bunch of setup for stuff in the far future and was full of conversations. It also included a cliffhanger.

Other Stuff: Sorry for the delay last chapter. Things got caught up waiting for the beta, it was a hectic week for her. I would like to assure my readers there will be a sequel for _this_ story since the end is steadily approaching. I would apologize for the crummy last chapter, its main purpose was to set things up for later (namely sequel and end of this story). This chapter will be of better quality.

Previously:

_**"Jaxith Skibbereen, Jaxith Skibbereen, please report to the main office."**__ The announcement chimed over the intercom._

_"Excuse me." Jaxith stood up and started heading toward the office, completely unsure why he had been summoned._

Chapter 22: "Wha-?"

Jaxith quickly made his way down the halls of the school. On his way to the office he passed by the open door to the chemistry room.

"Al, I swear that kid's just like you." Jaxith heard Euclid say as he passed by.

"You know he's going to realize if you keep on being so sheepish about it." Avogadro pointed out. As much as Jaxith wanted to hear the rest of the conversation, he had already walked out of hearing range. There was something waiting for him at the office and he wasn't entirely sure what.

"Hello there, son." A uniformed man greeted Jaxith when he came into the room. With a blink Jaxith recognized the man as Major General Herve David Wood, the lead commander of Western Headquarters. His hair was flaming red and his eyes were a dark green. Jaxith recognized the man by his voice more than anything else, as it was on the radio almost every night. In person the man was very impressive and strong. Major General Wood was by no means a young man, his face was wrinkled and his eyes wise.

"Good day, Major General, sir." Jaxith bowed politely as was to be expected. The Major General stepped aside to reveal a young boy about Jaxith's age. The boy had the same red hair as the Major General, but instead of green eyes, he sported brown ones. The two were obviously related.

"Now, son, I 'ear you're Colonel Mustang's great-nephew, is that true?" The Major General, of course, sported a thick Western accent.

"Yessir." Jaxith found his own accent sharpening and returning quickly.

"Good then you will show my grandson 'ere around the school now." The Major General had given Jaxith an order. Jaxith shot a glance at the staff in desperation. They offered him no help.

"Of course, sir." Jaxith bowed again then approached the grandson. "I'm Jaxith Howard Skibbereen."

"I'm Tamesis William Wood." Tamesis bowed. "You're from Clayston."

"Yes I am." Jaxith wasn't going to deny that. "You're from West City."

Tamesis smirked, and unlike Roy and Jaxith's, it was chilling. "You'd be right."

"Now y'all get along and take care of each other." The Major General told them. Both boys nodded.

"Here, I'll show you around." Jaxith led Tamesis out.

**-break-**

"There you go." Winry huffed, her wrench clenched threateningly in her hand. "You're not allowed to damage my work again."

"I don't try to break it!" Edward attempted to defend himself.

"Then _why_ does it get broken?" Winry proceeded to give Edward what most customers call the 'mechanic's eye' or 'Rockbell glare of doom' depending which person you asked. Edward grew up being under the scrutiny of that eye constantly (mainly because Winry gave it to him whenever she got exasperated with him), and getting it now didn't affect him.

"Things… happen." Edward left it at that.

"Why won't you tell me anything?" Winry dropped the glare and flopped down into a chair. "I worry about you two a lot, you know…."

"I know, Win, I know." Edward paused, and then shut his mouth deciding not to say anything.

"Well I'm going to Central with you boys this time!" Winry announced, jumping back up to her feet.

"Eh!?" Edward and Alphonse were definitely not expecting that.

"I want to talk with that Michel guy." Winry announced.

"Why would you ever want to talk to him?" Edward snorted in disgust at the thought of Michel.

"Because unlike _you_, he appreciates my work." Winry left it at that and went upstairs to pack.

"You know Edward, if you don't tell her how you feel she's just going to move on without you." Pinako reminded Edward.

**-break-**

Havoc hung up his phone and smiled.

"What happened to you?" Breda asked.

"I got a date." Havoc was grinning like a fool. About two seconds later Mustang's phone rang.

"Hello? …Oh! Hi Tasha! … I don't have a guest room anymore, I can't. … It's me and Jaxith, you know Atticus' son. … Yes, I'll pass that on. … I'll make the arrangements for you, how many days? … What do you mean you don't know yet!?" Roy snapped at the person on the other end. Havoc smirked at him and Roy glared back. "I do know of one place that might work, let me call you back."

"What's going on?" Fuery asked, wondering why Roy looked like he was going to murder Havoc.

"When did my cousin get the brilliant idea I'd be putting her up during her stay in Central?" Roy hissed.

"She told me that she had 'arrangements' when I asked her where she was staying." Havoc retorted. "Besides you gave me her number, you should have known this was coming."

"Fine!" Roy grumbled. He picked up the phone again. "Hello, Gracia, it's me, Roy. I need you to do me a favor…."

**-break-**

"You seem uncomfortable, sir." Stanley, the trusty scoffer and bodyguard commented.

"I did something… regrettable in Clayston." Major General Wood admitted after a while. He looked at his driver meaningfully. "That's why I can't show my face, they'd know me."

"Why did you do it?" Stanley asked.

"I put one of the Mustang daughters in her place." The general explained, answering the next question effectively.

"Ah, afraid the family may have not appreciated your concern?" Stanley asked.

"Yes."

**-break-**

Jaxith was still trying to figure out where he had seen Tamesis' face before. It had become obvious to Jaxith right away that Tamesis was not only spoiled rotten at home, he also had an ego bigger than Roy and Edward's combined.

"-and that's 'ow I got the best stallion in the stable!" Tamesis finished his story.

"That's lovely," Jaxith complemented politely, "and this is the Calculus room." Euclid leaned over from his chair to peer out into the hallway.

"Calculus?" Tamesis scoffed. "That's pish-posh! Math is a completely unnecessary-" Tamesis was cut of nicely by the math book hitting his face, knocking him over.

"I threw a two kilogram math textbook at a velocity of approximately 15 meters per second in the direction of your face." Euclid explained walking out into the hall. "I was aiming to give you a 'smarting' sensation but not break your nose, was I correct?"

"How dare you!" Tamesis yelled, having recovered from the textbook. "Do you know who my father is?!"

"Do I look like I care?" Euclid asked the kid, looking unamused and stern.

"My father is Major General-" Tamesis fumed, but was cut off by Euclid.

"-Blah, blah, blah, my daddy's going to get you fired!" Euclid mocked him. "I'm a math teacher, if your daddy comes in and gets me fired I'm suing the State for being oppressive."

"Like that'd get you anywhere! My father's a _Major General_." Tamesis was quick to remind Euclid.

"And I could then logically argue your daddy was abusing his power and taking out his frustrations at work on innocent civilians in his spare time." Euclid snorted. "But since you're just a spoiled brat and not even attending here, I don't have to deal with you, do I?" With a quick snap on his heels, Euclid walked back into his classroom and slammed the door shut.

"What an ass! Can you believe he just did that?" Tamesis whined at Jaxith.

"I have his class first period." Jaxith pinched the bridge of his nose. "And now he's going to think I'm indecent because he saw me with you."

"Just drop the class then, the teacher's an ass." Tamesis argued.

"And disappoint my mother?" Jaxith looked horrified at the thought.

"Now I remember!" Tamesis' face lit up in recognition. "You're that little runt from Clay-!"

**Bam!** The door swung open and hit Tamesis squarely in the face.

"Sorry, I forgot my book." Euclid bent down and picked up his textbook. "Are you okay?"

Jaxith's mind was not in the hall with the rest of them.

**-flashback-**

_"You're just a runt!" A boy his age yelled at him._

_"Eww! Go away!" A girl._

_"Don't play with 'im, 'e's got problems!" An older kid._

_"You're dirty!" A little girl._

_"Filthy!" An entire playground was yelling at him._

_**"Thing!!" **__Now parents were too._

_"Jaxith, I'm so disappointed in you, you shouldn't get into fights." His parents were frowning down at him._

**-break-**

"I'm sorry." Jaxith whimpered, tears following down his cheeks.

"What a weaklin'!" Tamesis snorted.

Euclid stood there, frozen in horror.

**-break-**

"Is it wise for you to see Colonel Mustang, sir?" Stanley asked.

"This correction of his sister's behavior happened before he was born. He wouldn't know what I looked like." The Major General explained. "Besides, I'm here to decide whether or not he gets promoted, so he'll keep quiet if he's smart." The two men walked into Central Headquarters looking like they owned the place. Immediately the General became aware of a young soldier staring at him in disbelief.

"Do you have a problem, son?" The Major General looked down at Kain Fuery.

"Oh! Wow! Pardon me Major General, sir!" Fuery snapped into a salute. "You look a lot like my commanding officer's cousin, sir."

"Your commanding officer?" Wood stopped and examined Fuery closely. "Who do you report to and who is his cousin?"

"Colonel Roy Mustang sir," Fuery answered, "and, well it's not really his cousin, the guy is actually his nephew, Atticus Mustang Skibbereen, sir. His hair is the same color as yours and his face is pretty similar too."

"Really?" The Major General's stomach gave an unpleasant turn. "What a coincidence then!"

**-break-**

Samantha was the first person on the scene. She observed Tamesis mocking Jaxith, who was just a mess of tears, and Euclid standing there, frozen.

_He was never good with tears._ Samantha rolled her eyes at Euclid. She walked up to Tamesis, glaring.

"You- will- shut- up!" Samantha told the boy sharply.

"And you are?" Tamesis was full of himself.

"The girl that is about to punch your face in." Samantha answered calmly. "Ed, would you mind taking Jaxith to the office?"

"He insulted math too." Euclid told her as he grabbed Jaxith's shoulders gently. "C'mon." Jaxith numbly stood up and followed.

"Sam! What'd this guy do?" Michel arrived having seen the crying Jaxith on his way over.

"Insulted Jaxith and math." Samantha answered coldly.

"Damn." Michel dropped his book bag and cracked his knuckles. "Well looks like you need to be taught a little respect."

"What do you think you Eastern rats possibly know about fightin'?" Tamesis asked them, glaring.

"There will not be any fighting here." Von Kisper told all three of them, making Samantha and Michel drop their stances in horror. "You two will pick up your books and go to class, and you, rat-" Tamesis was grabbed by the ear, "-are coming with me."

**-break-**

"Good day Major General Wood." Roy saluted the man, trying to hide how disturbed he was by the man's resemblance to Atticus. Roy made a mental note to have Falman look up the man's age; and maybe have Sheska look up his sister's rape case file.

"Good day Colonel." The Major General said smoothly, noting that Roy did see the resemblance Fuery had noticed earlier. With a quick glance around the room he saw that the rest of Mustang's staff had made the same connection and some were not bothering to hide it (like Havoc).

"I was-" The Major General was cut off by the phone ringing.

"Sorry sir." Roy apologized and picked up.

"Is this Colonel Mustang?" A male voice asked on the other end.

"Yes, it is." Roy answered. "To whom am I speaking?"

"Euclid Derivative, I'm the Calculus teacher here at Flamel Academy. Your nephew is here with me right now." Euclid explained. "He was a victim of some nasty bullying today."

"What!?"

"Could you pick him up? He's in tears." Euclid was on the other end, giving Jaxith a slight hug to calm the boy down. "We're in my office."

"Of course sir, I'll be right over." Roy responded. "Havoc, go ready me a car. Hawkeye would you give Lieutenant Colonel Archer a call and tell him I can't attend my meeting this afternoon?"

"What should I tell him sir?" Hawkeye asked.

"Tell him it's family matters." Roy answered. "I'm sorry Major General Wood, I have to leave, something has come up involving my great-nephew that needs my attention."

"Oh of course, don't let me get in the way of taking care of your family." Major General Wood waved him off. He would have done that for anyone, Mustang wasn't an exception.

"Thank you sir." Roy bowed to the man and he and Havoc hurried out the door. Hawkeye picked up the phone and started dialing.

"Major General, sir," Breda began, "are you related to an Atticus Skibbereen?"

"No." The Major General told him simply. "I have been told I look like him."

"Very much sir." Falman assured the man. "Very much."

----------

Dun dun dun! So now we've got some more Westerners running amok, but not the good kind! Whatever am I going to do next!? Review please!


	23. Murderous Mustangs

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: My name, I assure you, is not on the copyright.

Recap: Major General Wood appears, annoying son included! Jaxith has a breakdown, and Roy has been summoned to the school!

Other Stuff: I think my beta said this best: _'Your evil grin scares me.'_

And more fanart! Links on my profile!

Previously:

_"No." The Major General told him simply. "I have been told I look like him."_

_"Very must sir." Falman assured the man. "Very much."_

Chapter 23: Murderous Mustangs

Roy rushed into the doors of Flamel Academy, bursting out into the hallway. Students leaped out of the way of the furious soldier in blue.

"Major Mustang, halt!" Von Kisper ordered the man from his open classroom door. Automatically Roy stopped, stood at attention and saluted his old commanding officer. Von Kisper shook his head and walked out into the hall, giving his class a meaningful glare before exiting. "At ease." Roy went slack.

"You're here for Skibbereen, right?" Von Kisper got a curt nod in response. "He's in Derivative's office, right?"

"Yes." Roy answered quickly, his mind just now catching up with the fact that von Kisper was a teacher and not his commanding officer.

"You passed it, two doors down on the left." Von Kisper pointed at it. "And be nice, Derivative doesn't do well when there's yelling."

"Why's that?" Roy looked confused; surely a teacher dealt with a great deal of yelling and upset students on a daily basis.

"Like us the lad's an Ishbal vet." The gruff history teacher explained. "Yelling brings him back there every time."

"Well, shit." Roy muttered, sympathizing with post-war traumas. "Thank you von Kisper." The other man gave him a curt nod and walked back into his classroom to order his students around some more. Roy gave them all a sympathetic thumbs up, having once been in their place, and walked down the hall to Euclid Derivative's office. With a quick deep breath, Roy composed himself and knocked on the door.

Euclid carefully opened the door, looking haunted and disheveled. At some point his hair had been released from the ponytail and was now dangling all over his shoulders looking especially unkempt. Wearily, Euclid let Roy into his office. The office itself was clean and neat, papers were stacked in careful piles by class, graded and non-graded. Books were arranged by subject and alphabetical order on the bookshelf. The open file cabinet was neat and orderly. The only thing remotely messy in the room was the waded up papers in the trash can. Jaxith had curled up into a ball on a large easy chair (which was obviously for reading as it was by the bookshelf and a lamp). The young Skibbereen had his face red from crying and looked exhausted.

"I'm sorry to have troubled you." Euclid mumbled quietly, breaking the silence in the room. "He was looking just like a vet, stuck in the horrors of the past."

"Thank you." Roy then noticed that Jaxith's eyes were not focused on anything they could see; they were looking out, into the horrors of his childhood in Clayston. Carefully Roy approached Jaxith and set his hand on the boy's shoulder, shaking lightly.

"Hey, Jaxith, it's me." Roy told him. Jaxith shook his head and gasped a 'sorry'. "Its okay, I forgive you."

Jaxith's eyes went wide as his focus came back into reality, landing on his great-uncle's face. Upon realizing approximately where he was and whose presence he was in, Jaxith sniffled and dropped his head, cringing.

"Jax?" Euclid asked, sounding concerned. Roy sighed softly and pulled Jaxith into a loving hug.

"It's okay." Roy told him gently, stroking the boy's hair comfortingly. "You're not alone."

"I'm sorry!" Jaxith sobbed again, tears flowing again.

"I forgive you Jaxith." Roy assured the boy again. "Come on, let's go home."

"Okay." Jaxith sniffed again. Roy began to lead the boy out when Euclid caught his arm.

"We need to go to the main office." Euclid told him. Roy held Jaxith closer and gave Euclid a challenging look. "The cause of this trouble is there and needs to be dealt with first."

"Let's go."

**-break-**

"Major General Wood!" Stanley burst into the room, his brown dread locks flying in a frenzy.

"Yes?" The Major General had been playing chess with Breda to pass the time (and Breda was, of course, winning).

"There's a call for you, should I have it forwarded up here?" Stanley told him.

"Yes." After a quick phone call on Stanley's part Colonel Mustang's phone rang. Wood walked over and answered it.

"'Ello?"

"Is this the father of Tamesis William Wood?" A gruff, no-nonsense voice demanded.

"Yes."

"Well, sir, your son has caused a good deal of trouble." The man on the other end explained. "You better get down here and bring your best brown-nosing apologies too, because I find your son's behavior inexcusable."

"Who the 'eck are you?" Wood demanded.

"A teacher your son pissed off." And with that the man we know as von Kisper hung up the phone.

Major General Wood sighed. "Stanley, ready the car."

**-break-**

"Mr. Derivative, who was involved?" Mrs. Nancy, the comely old woman that was the principal of Flamel Academy inquired. She had short, gray hair and beautiful brown eyes.

"Michel Grevalo, Samantha Derivative, myself, and Lucas von Kisper." Euclid answered.

"Your daughter?" Mrs. Nancy raised her eyebrows in mild surprise. "And not Avogadro Lanthanide?"

"Me and Avo do not do everything together. He has a class to attend to." Euclid snorted.

"I sent Macy Kennitt to substitute your final class of the day." Mrs. Nancy told him. "Go collect the other students and Lucas when his class is over."

"Yes ma'am." Euclid nodded and left her office. Mrs. Nancy sighed and walked out into the waiting room to see Jaxith and Roy sitting in there. They were currently buried in Jaxith's chemistry textbook. Roy was explaining one of the concepts to Jaxith in greater detail.

"You're a fine father, Mr. Mustang." Roy and Jaxith jumped, Roy's face expressing complete horror and Jaxith's looking startled.

"He's my uncle ma'am." Jaxith kindly corrected her.

"I know, but he makes a good father." Roy looked away at this comment, a little embarrassed.

"Thank you ma'am." Roy mumbled.

"I know that it's not convenient for you to come here when there's a problem," Mrs. Nancy explained, "but I will do everything in my power to get this resolved as soon as I can."

"I'm just here to make sure he's okay." Roy gave Jaxith's shoulder a comforting squeeze. Moments later the door opened and Michel walked in.

"Hey Jax." Michel nodded to his friend.

"Hey Mike." Jaxith looked tired. Roy had taken the boy to the bathroom to wash his face earlier, so Jaxith didn't look like hell on top of being tired.

"Where's that Tammy guy?" Michel asked looking around.

"'Tammy'?" Roy looked confused.

"The one that caused all this." Michel told him. Suddenly the door swung open from behind Michel, smacking him on the butt, hard. Michel became over balanced and fell forward, landing on the floor.

"Sorry son." Major General Wood bent down and helped Michel to his feet.

"Major General!?" Roy gasped.

"Colonel?" The Major General raised an eyebrow and looked at the exhausted Jaxith. Jaxith looked at the man carefully, now seeing the resemblance between this man and his father. His face grew hard and cold, a dislike for the Major General growing.

"What's your problem, boy?" The Major General inquired, glaring back at the boy.

"Your son." Jaxith answered. What no one else realized was that Jaxith was not referring to Tamesis.

"What did my boy do?" Wood demanded.

"He caused problems." Euclid answered, arriving on the scene with von Kisper and Tamesis.

"And you are?" Wood eyed Euclid distastefully.

"Euclid Derivative, I teach Calculus here." Euclid brushed past the man, disregarding him as he entered the office. Jaxith noted that Euclid's hair was again up in a ponytail. Samantha came in quickly at his heels.

"Well I think we all need to sit down for a minute and introduce ourselves." Mrs. Nancy suggested. "Lucas, would you be a dear and get some tea for everyone?"

"Okay." von Kisper walked into a side room and began to boil some water for tea.

"Well, I am Sharon Nancy, the principal here." Mrs. Nancy explained and sat down. She then looked to Euclid.

"I'm Euclid Derivative. I teach Calculus and this mess happened right outside my office door." Euclid explained quickly.

"I'm Colonel Roy Mustang. Jaxith here is my great-nephew, but we just keep it simply 'uncle' most of the time." Roy added the last bit to try to rid Samantha of her confused expression.

"Jaxith Skibbereen." Jaxith said quickly.

"Mike Grevalo." Michel introduced himself. "Jax here is my friend."

"Sam D., Jax is also my friend." Samantha explained.

"What's your full name miss?" The Major General all but growled at her. She frowned.

"Its Samantha Derivative, she's my daughter." Euclid answered before Samantha could retort. She glared at him and he gave her a dismissing look and a disapproving frown.

"You two are related!?" Michel and Jaxith gasped.

"Yes." Samantha admitted unhappily. Euclid rolled his eyes, since apparently happenings of the sort was commonplace.

"I'm Major General Herve David Wood, Tamesis is my son." Wood explained.

"And I'm Tamesis William Wood!" Tamesis glared heatedly at Jaxith.

"Ex-Colonel Lucas von Kisper, I teach history here." Von Kisper walked around and handed everyone drinks.

"Jaxith, could you tell us what happened?" Mrs. Nancy asked him.

"I led Tamesis around the school just as I was asked to do." Jaxith began, looking uncomfortable. "I showed him Mr. Derivative's room and told him what it was. He started mocking mathematics as a subject, which upset Mr. Derivative. The two of them exchanged some harsh words-" Tamesis cut Jaxith off.

"'E threw a book at me!" Tamesis pointed at the Calculus teacher. Euclid said nothing, but adjusted his glasses. Roy noted that Samantha paled, marking Euclid's action as a sign of anger.

"Well afterwards he we were talking and eventually he called me-" Jaxith cut himself off, bit his lip and couldn't say the world. Roy clasped his hands over Jaxith's ears, confusing the boy.

"Why don't your repeat it?" Roy asked Tamesis.

"What the 'eck are you doing?" Wood asked.

"Whatever the word was, it triggered a relapse for Jaxith." Roy was giving the man's son a narrowed look. "Which is precisely why Jaxith doesn't need to be hearing it again anytime soon."

"It was 'runt' I believe." Euclid said after a while. Tamesis gave him a confused look. "My door is paper thin; I heard your conversation very well. And if you are curious, I don't appreciate being called an 'ass'."

Roy nodded after a bit of thought and released Jaxith's ears.

"After he said that, I remembered all the bad things…." Jaxith shook a bit. "Somehow I got in Mr. Derivative's office and great-uncle Roy was there…."

"Well, Tamesis, what happened?" Mrs. Nancy asked him.

"We were walking around the school and Jaxith was being nice and all the like when we arrived at the Calculus room. Math's not an important subject so I told Jaxith that and that man-" a finger pointed at Euclid "-throws this book at me and yells at me. I didn't do anything wrong-"

"No, son, insulting someone's life work is wrong." Von Kisper cut Tamesis off. "It's as bad as telling your father how pointless and stupid the military is."

"Afterwards he left and I talked to Jaxith about it. I don't know why but he couldn't find a reason to drop the class-" Tamesis was cut off.

"Jaxith wanted to take Calculus, he enjoys the subject." Roy told Tamesis curtly. "And he's got enough of a sense of duty to finish things he starts."

"It was around then I remembered who he was. He's the trash of Clayston! Must have gotten himself kicked out of town because he was so filthy." Tamesis grinned. Jaxith paled and began shaking, his eyes unseeing again. Roy grabbed the boy and hauled him into Mrs. Nancy's office without a word. In there Roy managed to calm Jaxith down.

"You stay here, I'll deal with him." Roy told Jaxith, who just nodded numbly.

"Is everything alright?" Von Kisper asked.

"Nothing will be alright until I have some justice." Roy glared at Tamesis. "I'm taking that insult personally."

"Now you 'ave no right to be-" Wood began, Roy cut him off.

"Your son is implying _my_ family has trash! I know Jaxith wasn't well excepted back 'ome, so I brought 'im here to 'elp 'im get back on 'is feet again!" Roy's voice got loud, his Western accent returning. "'E's been recoverin' from all the trauma and trouble back 'ome then _your_ son comes in and makes 'im relapse twice!"

"Now you calm down, son!" Wood growled back.

"I'm not gonna be calm! You and I both know what a relapse does to a trauma patient! I need some justice!" Roy glared.

**"Shut up!!"** Euclid screeched, his hands covering his ears. He was shaking, his eyes squeezed tightly shut. Samantha was at his side comforting him.

"I told you not to yell." Von Kisper hissed. "Both of your sit down, Jaxith isn't the only one who's been through trauma." Wood sat down, but Roy did not.

"I'm taking Jaxith 'ome." Roy told Mrs. Nancy. "We're not being rational."

"Good, I was just about to ask that." Mrs. Nancy looked at Euclid worriedly. "I will see that Mr. Derivative is properly reprimanded for throwing a textbook at your son. And you will reprimand your son for insulting Mr. Derivative, his life hood, and sending Mr. Skibbereen into relapse twice. And I want an apology for Mr. Derivative from both of you." Mrs. Nancy gave both of them the eye.

"Yes ma'am." Roy went into the back room, grabbed Jaxith and led him out. Michel followed him.

"Where do you think you're going?" Wood growled at Michel.

"What I did was jump to Jax's defense when I saw him relapsed in the hall. Von Kisper intervened before I got physical, so I haven't actually done anything wrong." Michel told the man and left.

"I was in the same situation." Samantha told him. "And I was extra mad because of what your son said about math." She continued to comfort her father.

**-break-**

It was pretty obvious that Roy was in a foul mood when he arrived at Headquarters. Everyone gave him as much space as possible. When Roy arrived in the office, his men were ready.

"Falman, I need you to dig up the case of the rape of Cindy Lynn Mustang." Roy told Falman. "I also need you find whatever you can on Major General Herve David Wood." Falman saluted and left the room.

"Fuery, I need you to tap the Major General's lines." Fuery saluted and ran off.

"Havoc I need you to go downstairs, listen to the latest gossip and see if you can find out why the Major General is here." Havoc saluted. Instead of running off he went over to Jaxith and gave the boy a big hug, then left.

"Breda, I need you to contact the best post-trauma physiatrist we have in Central and set up an appointment for Jaxith." Breda nodded, leaving the room to grab phone numbers.

"Hawkeye, I need you to contact Fullmetal and find out when he'll be in." Roy told her. Hawkeye turned to the nearest phone and began dialing.

"Jaxith, why don't you draw something?" Roy asked him gently. Jaxith nodded and started drawing. Roy walked over to his phone and called up his cousin Tasha.

"Tasha, hey it's me, Roy Andrew. I need you to bring Cindy and mummy with you; hell, bring Mary Sue and Atticus too. … I found the man that touched Cindy." Roy was mad, and he would have his justice, no matter what price.

----------

When they say touched, what they mean is raped, if you must know.

I'm really excited about this because now we get to see the more deadly side of the West! What is going to happen to them now that Roy's out for blood?! Drop a review and I'll be inclined to update sooner!


	24. To the fans:

**To the fans:** Usually I sit down and write up a holiday special of some kind for this story. This time there will not be one, mainly because they don't really celebrate Christmas in Amestris (they celebrate the solstice instead). So on my profile (just click the 'Bar-Ohki' hyperlink at the towards the top of this webpage) is a link to my present for you. This present happens to be a little picture of Jaxith! Please enjoy it!

Happy Holidays,

Bar-Ohki


	25. Stepping up to the Plate

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: My name, I assure you, is not on the copyright.

Recap: Roy is out for blood, and not just anyone's blood- Major General Wood's blood.

Other Stuff: I don't have much to say.

Previously:

_"Tasha, hey its me, Roy Anderw. I need you to bring Cindy and mummy with you, hell bring Mary Sue and Atticus too. … I found the man that touched Cindy." Roy was mad, and he would have his justice, no matter what the price._

Chapter 24: Stepping up to the Plate

It didn't take long for Havoc to finish circulating the gossip-rings around Headquarters. There were about five women of importance in the gossip-rings, all of them secretaries except for the cute brunette that monitored the phone area. Havoc returned to Mustang's office, up one hard slap to the cheek and a ton of somewhat useless rumors.

"Well?" Roy asked him. The Colonel had sat down at his desk, looking like he was about to stage a war.

"The Major General is here to be a part of the committee that's been formed to promote you, sir." Havoc answered him.

"Anything else?" Roy asked as Falman handed him a folder.

"His son is going to be sent here for schooling. Most think he'll be attending Flamel Academy." Havoc reported.

"Thank you Havoc. Now I want you to take Falman and get Sheska." Roy commanded quickly.

"Sir!" Hawkeye saluted as she ran in. "The Elric brothers will be arriving tomorrow evening. They brought Miss Rockbell with them." Jaxith looked up from his drawing at the mention of his friends.

"Thank you." Roy looked grim. It was obvious he wanted the brothers to be here to comfort Jaxith, but being stuck on a train made that physically impossible.

Havoc and Falman left in search of the private. It didn't take long to find her since she still worked in Hughes' old office. When they entered they were greeted by Lieutenant Colonel Frank Archer. He was a tall man, with a gaunt face and freakishly pale skin. His hair was cut and slicked back in some foreboding sense of protection. Currently he wore a disapproving frown along with his crisp uniform.

"What is the reason you are here?" He asked them curtly.

"We are under orders to borrow Private Sheska for an hour, sir." Havoc explained, saluting the man.

"Whose orders?" Archer asked, looking annoyed.

"Colonel Mustang's, sir." Havoc supplied the man.

"And under what authority does he have to borrow _my_ Private?" Archer smirked, thinking he had won. Unfortunately for him he severely underestimated Falman.

"Under the authority that he has found a particularly large lead in an old, unsolved case and wishes to cross check some information." Falman explained. "He can't hand it over to investigations without alerting his suspect, sir."

"Are you implying the suspect is in investigations?" Archer asked.

"No sir. Only that they are in the military, sir." Falman explained himself.

"Very well then, she _will_ be back in an hour." Archer told them with a glare that told them all they ever wanted to know about the military's policies on demotions and pay-cuts. Sheska got up and followed them back to Mustang's office without a word. She seemed skittish, probably due to being around Frank Archer too long.

They arrived in Mustang's office to hear the Colonel hiss loudly.

"Sir?" Fuery asked from his wiring.

"Falman, is this seriously all the records on the case?" Roy asked, looking somewhere between desperate and pissed.

"All the ones we have available at Central. I would presume there would be more in Clayston." Falman reminded his superior of his other connections.

"There aren't any there." Roy sighed. "They had been asked to send their copies to Western Headquarters and they never got them back."

"Did you inquire at Western?" Falman asked.

"Yes." Roy groaned. "None there either, Eli ripped the place apart." (1)

"Umm, what do you want me for?" Sheska asked, sounding a little sheepish.

"Are these all we have on the case of the rape of Cindy Lynn Mustang?" Roy asked showing her the folder.

Sheska checked it, and then nodded. "I don't recall us having anything else."

"Thank you." Roy sighed again.

"What is going on?" Sheska asked, trying to fathom why the entire office was on edge.

"My father is a bastard child." Jaxith began, startling everyone. "He was conceived out of a horrible, horrible rape. Whoever it was that raped my grandmother managed to run away from Clayston before we could lynch 'im. The family's been wanting justice and closure for years."

"It happened before I was born, I grew up hearing the stories." Roy admitted. "But my sister has always had this pain in her eyes from that experience…."

"Who did the initial investigation?" Sheska inquired. "Perhaps they can reproduce the documents."

"Two of my great-uncles, they're both dead." Roy thumped his head on his desk, depressed.

Sheska looked around, out of ideas. Eventually her eyes landed on Jaxith and his current drawing.

"You're pretty good." Sheska commented.

"Thank you." Jaxith was half-hearted, depressed like his great-uncle.

"That's it!" Breda exclaimed, jumping to his feet. "Why don't we rewrite the file ourselves?"

"What do you mean?" Roy pulled his head off his desk.

"Who were the witnesses to the rape?" Breda asked.

"My sister and pa." Roy answered.

"They're still alive right?" Breda got a nod. "Well Falman can re-interrogate them and get all the data your great-uncles would have gotten."

"There's a problem though!" Sheska gasped. "If the handwriting doesn't match the suspect will have a case against us! Not to mention if it doesn't match up with the original documentation, the suspect can pull that out and-"

"That won't be a problem." Roy smirked. "If our suspect does produce the original documentation he will not only be admitting he had been messing with the military files."

"But the handwriting!" Sheska protested.

"Leave that to the artist." Roy smiled kindly at Jaxith.

"Me?" Jaxith squeaked.

"That's perfect." Breda smiled. "Jaxith, you're the only one that can do this."

"Do what?" Jaxith asked, standing up carefully.

"It's officially called 'forgery', but what I'm calling it is a reproduction exercise." Breda explained.

"So you want me to write in the scripts of my ancestors and reproduce the lost material?" Jaxith smirked, looking just like Roy. "Damn, I like it."

"You do?" Fuery was shocked.

"I owe his family a 'favor' for what they did to me." Jaxith chuckled. "Equivalent exchange."

"Exactly." Roy smiled, proud.

**-break-**

When Edward got off the train at Central station he bumped into the last person he expected to see: Cindy Lynn Mustang.

"Edward!" She gasped, catching the boy before he toppled over.

"H-hello." Edward was startled by her sudden appearance. "Why are you here?"

"Roy sad 'e found tha man who raped my garl." A large, old man answered from behind her. He had a bald head, serious brown eyes, a wiry mustache, and lots of wrinkles. This man also sported a red flannel shirt, beet up jeans, a thick Western accent, and a shot gun.

"Hello sir." Edward bowed to the man. "I'm Edward Elric."

"Gerodi Robert Mustang." The old man shook Edward's hand.

"He's my father." Cindy whispered to Edward.

"Edward! Oh! Cindy Lynn!" Alphonse gasped as he stepped off the train.

"Hello Alphonse." Mary Sue greeted him, coming up from behind Gerodi with Mrs. Mustang in tow.

"You know these people?" Winry asked Alphonse as she stepped off the train.

"Yeah, they're the Colonel's family." Alphonse explained quickly.

"Hello there." Atticus and another woman approached. The woman had a sturdy build, with definite curves. Her curly hair was shoulder length and dark brown. She light skin with a few handsome freckles across her nose that accented her onyx eyes. She had similar sharp features that Mrs. Mustang had. She was wearing a trench coat with a blue sundress under it.

"I think some introductions are in order." Atticus said quickly, noticing that there were some confused stares from most of the people present. It did not take long for the new woman to be introduced as Tasha Hali Paddington (which was apparently Mrs. Mustang's maiden name), Roy's first cousin on his mother's side. Winry was introduced as well.

"So why don't we all rent a cab then?" Edward suggested. "I have to go to Headquarters myself."

"That will be unnecessary, Fullmetal." Roy stepped in, looking serious.

"Colonel!" "Roy!" "Son!"

**-break-**

Jaxith greeted the group upon their arrival at Headquarters, and Gerodi and Atticus handed him four journals that belonged to the great-uncles that once worked on Cindy's case.

"What are y'all doing?" Mary Sue demanded.

"I'm helping." Jaxith told his mother, a determined expression on his face.

"Mary Sue," Roy caught her attention quickly, "Jaxith is the only one here that can make what we are doing possible."

"What do you mean?" She looked at Roy, confused by the fact her son and his 'useless' set of skills could be of any help.

"The files for Cindy's case were destroyed." Roy told her. "So we're going to recreate them. Jaxith is the only one here who is good enough with a pen to write with the same scripts as the originals." Mary's eyes went wide.

"Mr. Mustang, Miss Cindy, I need you two to come with me." Falman bowed slightly. Gerodi and Cindy nodded. "Jaxith, could you come to?"

"Why?" Jaxith asked.

"Because you'll do a better job if you try and put yourself in the shoes of the man you're trying to understand." Edward explained. "That's a basic training principal."

"Now would the rest of y'all join me for some tea up in my office?" Roy asked his family kindly.

**-break-**

Atticus and Breda were talking in Roy's back office while everyone else was in the front room enjoying themselves.

"I presume you are going to be the lawyer Cindy hires to press the charges." Breda began.

"Yessir." Atticus confirmed. "I serve my family first, I can't deny my ma when she needs help."

"Say, by any chance are you A. M. Skibbereen, the renowned attorney?" Breda inquired, already knowing the answer.

"Yes, I am." Atticus smirked. "I got a call yesterday from Major General Wood asking for my services."

"Oh?"

"I told him I was already on a case and didn't have the space to take him up. Is he the man in question?" Atticus asked knowingly.

"Yes he is."

"Good, I'll tear him apart." Atticus' eyes glittered with joy.

"I trust you to do that; is there any help we can give you?" Breda asked.

"Well I need to have the actual case information before I can tell you what I do and don't need." Atticus explained.

"Well I do know something we will probably need eventually…." Breda paused. "Blood samples."

"Ah, yes we will need those." Atticus nodded.

"Are you okay with this?" Breda asked suddenly. "This is your father after all."

"By circumstance and by only that is he a 'father' to me." Atticus spat the word father. "My pa is the man my ma married."

"Just checking." Breda chuckled.

**-with Falman in investigations-**

"Lieutenant Colonel Archer, I need your supervision of this case, sir." Falman requested.

"What case?" Archer asked, looking annoyed.

"The case of the rape of Cindy Lynn Mustang, sir. Colonel Mustang believes he has found the offender, sir." Falman explained.

"I could care less about Colonel Mustang and his family issues." Archer scoffed. "You are dismissed."

"Sir, I am going to strongly recommend you start caring." Falman warned him.

"I don't see why I would." Archer glared at Falman. "I thought I dismissed you."

**Clack!** There was a shot gun, loaded and disarmed, against Archer's temple.

"This would be why." Falman had a small sweatdrop.

"Now, son, you's gonna 'elp me and ma daughter git some justice, that's your job, right?" Gerodi had a kind smile and a ferocious voice.

"Certainly," Archer squeaked, his eyes wide with fear when he realized that he was dealing with Westerners. "umm…?"

"Gerodi, son, Gerodi." Gerodi pulled his shot gun back. "Iz great ta see you understands, son."

"The pleasure is all mine." Archer was calm on the exterior, while panicking on the interior. "What am I needed for?"

"Right now, your official approval and vouching that you are supervising this case, sir." Falman explained.

"I'll have it to you in an hour." Archer assured him. "Mustang's office, correct?"

"Yes sir."

-----------

Amazing how organized they get when it gets personal.

1- Eli is a relative of Roy's that works in the filing rooms at Western Headquarters.

Don't be fooled, Major General Wood has a few trump cards to play; you just haven't seen them yet. Review please!


	26. Never Underestimate, Period

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: Still don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, nor do I ever aspire to such greatness.

Recap: The family's back in town and they are up to no good if you name is Wood.

Other Stuff: Holy crap! Fullflame is almost finished! Speaking of Fullflame, the freakishly long update I pulled for that one is the reason this update was late, that and school started up again (I hate labs). It is sad how all good things come to a close. More Jaxith fanart, see link on my profile (it's not by me and it is actually colored)! And Jaxith plushie!!!

Previously:

_"I'll have it to you in an hour." Archer assured him. "Mustang's office, correct?"_

_"Yes sir."_

Chapter 25: Never Underestimate, Period.

Falman sat down in the room with just Jaxith and Cindy. It was a fairly plain room, nothing but concrete walls and a few chairs about a basic table. Even the lone light bulb was lacking a lampshade.

"I'm not comfortable in 'ere." Cindy commented, shifting slightly in her seat.

"No one is supposed to be." Falman assured her quickly.

"Could you please recount what happened to you on the 14th of March, 1879?" Jaxith asked, surprising Falman he would know to ask that question. "The entire day, not just when the… event occurred."

"I spent the mornin' 'elpin' mummy with the chores. We were washin' a lot of laundry, from the field workin'. It was covered with grime and all the like. Afterwards mummy asked me to go out shoppin' for some butter for lunch. I met a man while I was at the market. 'E was visitin' 'e said. 'E seemed nice enough; nice enough I let 'im walk me 'ome. You know, all gentleman-like."

"What did he look like?" Jaxith asked.

"About yeh tall," Cindy demonstrated with her hand, "red hair, green eyes, they were all dark-like, not bright green."

"His face, was it all long and pointy, or was it more round and plump?" Jaxith asked, he was sketching, Falman noticed.

"It pretty normal and fair, a little on the gaunt side. Youthful with a few 'ard wrinkles, 'e'd been through a lot." Cindy closed her eyes and remembered the man. "'E was all formal and stiff when 'e walked, like a soldier."

"What was he wearing?" Jaxith asked.

"A perfectly white and pressed dress shirt, it really stood out to me because I'd just been doing all that laundry." Cindy explained as she babbled, her hands moving to help demonstrate the point. "'Is pants were formal lookin'. I didn't get a good look, I think they were black."

"What color was his skin, light, tan, or dark?" Jaxith asked, his eyes lighting up with excitement. Falman was reminded of Maes Hughes, who would carry that same sparkle when he was interrogating someone.

"About the same tone as mine, except I 'ad more of a tan than 'e did. 'E 'ad a slight sunburn on 'is cheeks." Cindy went on, her eyes widening in mild surprise when Jaxith's questions made her remember things clear as day.

"And his hair, was it an orange, a copper, or a more true red?" Jaxith asked, he was grabbing some colored pencils he had carried with him.

"It was an orange copper." Cindy nodded, sure.

"I want you to hold his image in your mind for a moment." Jaxith asked her. "Where his eyes shaped funny?"

"Like anyone else's." She answered. Jaxith drew madly in response.

"Did he have any facial hair or scars?" Jaxith asked again.

"None." Cindy answered honestly. Jaxith pulled his pencil back and nodded. He flipped the picture around and showed it to Cindy.

"Is this what he looked like?" Jaxith's picture revealed a younger, more youthful Major General Wood. Cindy nodded.

"That's 'im. The man that did it." She confirmed. Jaxith set the drawing aside and picked up a note pad.

"What did you two talk about on the way to your house?" Falman asked, making Jaxith jump, startled.

"We was talkin' about our lives and our dreams." Cindy smiled. "It was kind of fun, 'e thought I was a little irrational and didn't respect my place as a woman."

"Why is that?" Jaxith asked.

"I wanted to become a state alchemist." Cindy admitted. "I told 'im that, it was my dream."

Jaxith nodded, his eyes full of sympathy. Falman was stunned; it was unusual for a woman to want to join the military as is, let alone as an alchemist. With what Falman knew of the West, he knew that Cindy's desire was completely unacceptable and wasn't going to be encouraged (assuming they weren't actively hindering it).

"Did you tell your parents about your dream?" Jaxith asked.

"No, they would 'ave caned me." Cindy shook her head. (1) Falman nodded.

"Why did you feel like telling this stranger?" Jaxith asked.

"'E was kind, and understanding. I felt like I was bottlin' it up, so I just gushed it out." Cindy explained. "I was 15, can you blame me?"

"I don't." Jaxith assured her. "Now, he wasn't too happy about this, was he?"

"Oh, 'e was furious. 'E said I ought to change my mind. I refused and got stubborn 'bout it." Cindy sighed. "'E pushed me behind the red shed we 'ad right near pa's window. 'E told me 'e was going to teach me my place. I refused 'im. When 'e started to take off my clothes, I started fightin' like a hellcat. I was screamin' and all the like. 'E got 'is clothes off and then-" Cindy choked.

"Do we need to stop?" Falman asked. Cindy shook her head.

"'E _violated_ me. It hurt. A lot." Cindy shut her eyes to hold back her tears. "I heard pa come runnin', his boots squeak, and he saw him and started yellin'. Pa 'ad 'is boomstick. Of course the fellow ran off."

"Did you search for him afterwards?" Falman asked.

"The entire town did. 'E jumped town quicker than we could find 'im." Cindy admitted.

"Thank you Ms. Mustang, this has been most helpful." Falman stood up and shook Cindy's hand. Jaxith did the same. Cindy smiled encouragingly at her grandson and left the room.

"Now where did you learn that?" Falman accused.

"What?" Jaxith squeaked, afraid he was in trouble.

"How to interrogate." Falman explained, looking deadly serious.

"I've watched pa talk like that to his clients. He's got to know the whole story before he can help them…." Jaxith trailed off.

"Ah, well you did a spectacular job." Falman praised the boy. "There are places you still need some work, but there's a place for you in investigations if you ever want a career in the military."

"Really?" Jaxith asked, his eyes wide in awe. For the first time he could remember, Jaxith had a useful set of skills and was _wanted_ for something only he could do.

"Your ability to draw the suspects is also nothing short of amazing." Falman explained. "And far too useful."

"Thanks." Jaxith smiled sheepishly. "It was nothing."

"We can't use the drawing as evidence, but we can document what she said." Falman explained. "I'll have her description run by one of our professional illustrators if we want the picture evidence."

"I-" Jaxith interrupted himself "-understand."

**-break-**

"I heard you're accusing me of rape." Major General Wood approached Roy with a few other generals behind him. Roy wasn't expecting this sort of attack, but he stood firm.

"I haven't accused anyone of anything." Roy answered honestly.

"Then what is happening in interrogation room 539?" Wood had probably seen either Gerodi or Cindy in the hall.

"What happened to the documentation on the case of the rape of Cindy Lynn Mustang?" Roy asked him back. "Where are the records of the investigation?"

"What are you talking about?" Wood pretended to be ignorant.

"The records of her case. There should be a copy in Clayston, West City, and Central." Roy pointed out to the man. "How come neither Clayston nor West City has copies?"

"What do you-" Wood was interrupted by Roy pulling up a sheet of paper.

"This is Central's copy." Roy told the man flatly. "It says here that a Cindy Lynn Mustang was raped on March 14th, 1879 just outside her home in Clayston." Calmly, Wood took the document from Roy and started to read it.

"Why do you suppose it's incomplete?" Roy asked suddenly.

"Incomplete?" Wood looked confused.

"Surely there would be a description of the offender in that report, that's a standard procedure." Roy pointed out. "There isn't even mention of her _not_ supplying a description."

"I don't know what happened; I wasn't in command of Western at the time." Wood admitted quickly.

"But why are Western and Clayston missing their records?" Roy asked again. "Clayston's records were sent to Western and never returned, why is that?"

"If I recall correctly, the previous regime at Western was lax with matters such as filing. Things were misplaced often. Hell, we're still finding things misfiled." Wood quickly lied.

"Then would you please acquire the original report for me?" Roy asked sincerely.

"Why do you-" Roy cut Wood off quickly.

"General Sir, Cindy Lynn is my sister and I love her deeply." Roy looked the man in the eye, his Western accent returning. "Surely you relate, sir."

"I will see what I can do." Wood responded.

"Thank you Major General, you're a good man." Roy smiled honestly. "I hope you'll keep watching over the West for a long time." Wood retreated, his general cronies leaving with him. After they left Roy released a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding.

"Colonel Mustang?" Riza inquired from her desk.

"That could have been the end of my career." Roy felt like a pile of goo.

"It's a damn good thing we had a fallback prepared." Breda nodded.

"I just hope they hurry up." Roy admitted. Suddenly the door opened and Edward and Alphonse walked in.

"Colonel Mustang?" Edward saluted his commanding officer for the first time. "I have acquired a doctor that is certified and willing to perform the blood tests."

"Thank you Fullmetal." Roy smiled. "Why don't you go get cozy with some of Wood's men?"

"What?" Edward blinked.

"It's just making people uncomfortable and applying some pressure, you're good at that kind of thing." Roy smiled.

"Sure." Edward smiled and left. Alphonse gave Roy a worried glance and followed.

"That was pretty inhumane, sir." Havoc remarked from his desk.

"If Hughes was alive I'd have sent him." Roy responded with a sigh. "I wish we had someone with Hughes' genius." Roy was referring to his late friend's knack with investigating.

"-you sure?" Jaxith asked Falman and Archer as the three of them walked into Roy's office. Archer had a sincere smile on his face (which was a very rare and somewhat horrifying occurrence). Falman was also smiling broadly, looking stuffed with pride. Jaxith's eyes were wide in amazement.

"I would bet my life on it without hesitation, kid." Archer responded.

"Lieutenant Colonel!" Roy stood up and saluted Archer. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I'm supervising your little side project, remember?" Archer scoffed, his face turning back into its normal cold, mocking manners.

"For which I am grateful." Roy quickly bowed respectfully. "Still, what brings you to my office?"

"The talent you brought in." Archer placed his hands on Jaxith's shoulders. "Do you realize just how good an interrogator this boy is?"

"I was unaware Jaxith had any such talents, though hearing they are there does not surprise me." Roy admitted. He knew Atticus often had Jaxith observing his work and that Jaxith extremely intelligent. It would be foolhardy to assume that Jaxith didn't pick up a trick or two from his father.

"Well I want this one working for me." Archer all but ordered Roy.

"I am not authorized to make that decision." Roy told Archer, which really meant 'over my dead body'.

"Oh?" Archer raised an eyebrow, obviously not letting it finish there.

"You'll have to talk to pa." Jaxith informed Archer. "Uncle Roy is just watching over me while I am in Central, my parents are the ones with the final say."

"Where could I-" Archer was cut off by Havoc's phone ringing.

"Tasha? Hey!" Havoc answered, grinning ear to ear. Archer glared daggers at him. "Jaxith? Yeah he's here…. Sure." Havoc held the phone out to the boy. Quickly Jaxith walked over and picked it up.

"Cousin? …No…. Yes…. Gram said it was supposed to be butter-colored…. No! …Sure! …No.… Uncle Roy wears a 'large'…. I checked his pajamas when I washed them last week!" Jaxith flushed with embarrassment because whatever Tasha had said. "There's a man here that wants to talk to pa…. Lieutenant Colonel Frank Archer, cousin…. Thank you."

"Pa will speak to you now." Jaxith held the phone to Archer. Archer blinked once and took it from the boy.

"Jaxith will not be joining the military until he is of proper enlistment age, sir." Atticus told Archer with a voice that gave no room for argument. "If I hear you're harassing my family about it, you'll be in a legal nightmare."

"…Okay." Archer hung up, this conversation over. "I'll take my leave of you then." Archer retreated.

"Colonel Sir," Falman whispered to Roy, "Jaxith has Maes' sparkle." Roy's eyes widened.

"No wonder Archer wants the boy." The words slide out of Roy's mouth as he exhaled.

"He has a bright future in investigations should he choose to take that path when it comes time for him to choose. I would love to have him working under me." Falman smirked.

"Now what?" Jaxith asked his great-uncle.

"We have Atticus build our case." Roy explained simply. "Everything else is in order to take that asshole down." Jaxith bit his lip, upset about something.

"Jaxith?" Fuery asked, concerned.

"Is this the right thing to do?" Jaxith asked. "He's the highest administrator out West…. His family hasn't done us any wrong, really. Do we need to drag all of them into this matter?"

"Looking out at the big picture while inside a tight and confusing situation is difficult for anyone." Breda began, looking somber. "We've already discussed this with the Fuhrer and Archer. This is a private trial. If Wood is guilty, then he'll be forced to resign quietly. He won't get any of the nice retirement benefits of a man of his rank. Then he'll probably fade into obscurity."

"Well, that's a load off my mind!" Jaxith let out a relaxed breath.

"Good, then you can tell your grandmother the news." Roy told the boy, making him stiffen up again.

-----------

Sorry this was long in coming, I hope y'all like!

1- Not only was it legal to cane your children when Cindy was young, but it still remains legal at this point in time. This is why the fact that Mrs. Celt _only_ throws chalk at her students is significant.


	27. Atticus: an Amazing Attourney

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: Not mine!

Recap: Jaxith is channeling Maes Hughes, blessing or curse?

Other Stuff: I finished Fullflame, epilogue and all. There will be a new story appearing soon. It's going to be a Harry Potter - Fullmetal Alchemist crossover in a style similar to Fullflame (basically I cross over the concepts, not the characters). This one will be M-rated and I've included a preview at the end of this chapter, should you be interested. I know the pairings, but I'm not telling. Here's the next installment of A Pen or A Sword, I made it extra long for y'all!

Previously:

_"Well, that's a load off my mind!" Jaxith let out a relaxed breath._

_"Good, then you can tell your grandmother the news." Roy told the boy, making him stiffen up again._

Chapter 26: Atticus: an Amazing Attorney

Atticus Mustang Skibbereen sat at his uncle's desk and read over the evidence from the original case of his conception. He had a very bland, but focused expression. Occasionally the man would make a note of something on a separate sheet of paper. After a good few hours of this, Atticus emerged from Roy's private office with the case file under one arm and his court case in hand. The court case was only about two pages in size, a feat commonly associated with this particular lawyer. Every case he built on behalf of his clients fit on one to two sheets of paper. This was due to the simplicity and solidness of his arguments.

"There you go." He handed his mother the two sheets of paper. She nodded and read them.

"Here." Atticus handed Lieutenant Colonel Archer the case file. "Make sure a copy of those gets back home if the originals don't."

"I am under the impression the originals were destroyed." Archer admitted, having a good look at the case files for the first time. "If they weren't Wood would be putting himself in an extremely compromising position."

"So how's this whole court thing going to work?" Edward asked, curious more than anything else. He was currently sitting in a chair backwards and completely oblivious to the fact Jaxith was sketching him again. Jaxith looked up and gave Edward a confused look that said 'how could you _not_ know?'.

"You're required to attend as part of the Colonel's command." Archer said simply. "Your job will be to sit down and quietly watch the proceedings."

"I know that, I was wondering what everyone else was doing, how it worked." Edward explained.

"Now that's a loaded question, son." Atticus chuckled. "It takes years of practice and studying to understand a trail completely. I do suppose we can give you the gist of it." Atticus shot Archer a look that told the man he was participating in this.

"Typically we have a Judge sit down and monitor the proceedings. The Judge also decides the punishment at the end of the trial." Archer quickly summed it up. "Because this trial is against one of our most important Major Generals the Fuhrer and Chief Justice will also be observing the trail."

"There's a jury of peers that listen to the arguments and decide who is and isn't guilty. In this case, mainly to protect Wood, the trial will be recorded, then transposed with names censored out. That transposition will be given to the jury." Roy added, deciding to buff himself on details like that.

"The way the actual trial is conducted is pretty neat." Jaxith quickly added, having witnessed several trails in his life. "It starts with the lawyer of the accusers explaining what happened, what crimes were committed and their case for it. Then the lawyer of the accused gets up and does their rebuttal of why their client isn't guilty. Afterwards all witnesses are called to stand and the lawyer on the opposite side questions them first, then their lawyer questions them."

"Typically after that we have a short break, called a 'recess' while both sides reframe their arguments, or choose to plead guilty on some occasions." Atticus chuckled at some memory. "Afterwards each lawyer gets a turn restating their argument, bringing new evidence in, and questioning the witnesses. The Judge may call and question witnesses themselves at this time as well."

"At the very end each lawyer makes a final statement to the jury and then there is a recess while they decide. With this case we won't have the results for a few days." Falman finished. (1)

"Sounds complicated." Edward stated his first thought.

"Me and Atticus here are always arguing about which is more complicated: alchemy or law?" Roy smiled.

"It's the legal language of law that is complicated!" Atticus reminded Roy childishly.

"Have you seen some the circles he draws and calls 'easy'?" Roy jerked a thumb at Edward. "Say, Ed, draw him the most complicated circle you know!"

"No." Edward declined, partly to stay out of the childish, familiar sparring session, and partly because the most complicated circles he knew had to do with human transmutation.

"I would really love to see the most complicated circle you know." Archer gave Edward one of his cold, creepy smiles.

"I said, _no."_ Edward reminded the room. "I'm not going to jump into a childish one-up game."

"Actually, I'm just curious, would you humor me?" Archer persisted. Roy caught Edward's eye and realized the dilemma. Roy shot a desperate look at his mother, who caught it and smiled.

"Now ah think isstime we all went 'ome for the evenin'." Victoria Mustang stood up and clapped her hands, leaving no one with room for argument. "We've got to gota court tomorrow. So dress all nice like."

"Course, mummy." "Course granny." Roy and Atticus assured her. (2)

Everyone departed for the evening.

**-Break-**

Major General Wood had been upset to hear possibly the best lawyer he knew of was busy with a case already when he called to have the man save his bacon, but he had not let that stop him. He got the next best lawyer he could find and arrived in the court room extremely early. He looked around trying to find a way to put physical stress on his opponents.

"I wouldn't do that if I was you." He heard a voice from behind him. Standing black-lit in the doorway was a soldier in uniform. Wood paused and wondered faintly if this person was here to guard the room.

"No offense or anything, General, sir, but I don't think it's a good idea to be caught messing around in a courtroom before your trial, especially before the sun is up." The soldier remarked and reached over. "Though I think it would do everyone a world of good if we could see…."

Click! The lights came on, temporarily blinding Wood. He heard the ominous boot-steps of the soldier walking down the stairs into the courtroom proper.

"This is the first time I've been in one of these, they're kind of grand, no?" The soldier's voice was young, Wood registered quickly. Now that his vision was clear Wood had to agree, the courtroom was grand. It was an auditorium style room, which allowed the crowd to witness and hear the proceedings. All the seats were elegantly crafted from oak, showing scenes of the might and conquest of the country subtly on the walls. The Judge's chair was even more amazing, being the focal point of the room.

"Yes." Wood agreed out loud. He then looked down at the soldier that had caught in the room this morning. He saw a boy, wearing a uniform bearing the rank Major. Out of his pocket peeked a silver chain marking the kid as a State Alchemist. He had long, blond hair tied back in a ponytail and a military issued cap on his head. He glanced up at Wood, with a cocky smile playing his lips, revealing fiery, golden eyes.

"You're-!" Wood gasped.

"Major Edward Elric, sir. The Fullmetal Alchemist." Edward stood at attention and saluted his commanding officer. "The Fuhrer asked me to come down here and make sure the courtroom was empty and undisturbed."

"Oh." Wood realized he was really screwed now.

"Are you familiar with the term 'equivalent exchange', sir?" Edward asked the man.

"That's an alchemy phrase, I believe." Wood was caught off guard. It was obvious the boy was planning something.

"What it means is that you sacrifice something to gain something." Edward explained. "So how's about this, you treat me to breakfast, and I didn't see you here."

"Oh!" It seemed to Wood that Edward was an angel in disguise. "Certainly, that seems perfectly fair!"

About an hour later Wood's wallet was regretting _that_ choice.

_How the heck does the kid eat so much food!?_ Wood stared wide-eyed at Edward as he consumed another plate of food.

"How do you eat that much?" Wood asked, wincing when he received the bill.

"I'm growing." Edward answered. Wood could believe that. He shook his head and paid. Not long afterwards Edward and Wood were back outside the courtroom doors, waiting. Edward was standing at attention giving extremely menacing glares are anyone who got too close to the door, Wood included. A little while later Wood's attorney arrived and the two left to make last minute adjustments.

"Good morning, Major." Havoc arrived with a tray full of food from the cafeteria.

"Morning, Lieutenant." There was an exchange of salutes.

"How'd operation 'wallet punch' go?" Havoc asked, sitting down and starting to eat some of the 'food' off the tray.

"Perfectly." Edward smiled.

"Good to hear." Havoc nodded and sipped his coffee.

"Good morning Major, Lieutenant." Fuhrer Bradley greeted his two subordinates. Edward saluted and Havoc remained seated with breakfast roll in his mouth while saluting also.

"Sir!" They chorused.

"Now, I'm afraid to say the Major looks a little more," Bradley paused, "representative of our fine military this morning."

"Sorry sir, but I'm starved." Havoc explained and continued to eat. Bradley just smiled.

"Well at least you're open about your priorities." Bradley chuckled. "Fullmetal, has there been any issues with the courtroom this morning?"

"No sir." Edward reported.

"Good, I'll see you both in an hour." Bradley nodded and walked off down the hall. Not too long later Atticus, Roy, Cindy, and Gerodi walked by. Roy stopped and stared at Edward.

"Is my uniform not up to speck or something?" Edward asked irritably after a few seconds.

"…No, it's-" Roy cut himself off. "It's nothing." _He's grown so much, where did all the time go?_ Roy wondered reflecting on the twelve year old he met four years ago. Edward didn't seem convinced, as his frown made that painfully obvious.

"Ah, see…." Gerodi chuckled, a knowing look in his eye. "We'll be 'avin' a talk about that later, son."

"Pa?" Roy gave his father a confused look.

"You commin' or not, Roy-boy?" Cindy snapped irritably.

"I'm coming!" Roy ran to catch up. Edward looked at Havoc, confused.

"What was that all about?" Edward asked.

"Beats me." Havoc answered. _Oh, wait! I should ask him that question for the bet!_ "Hey, chief?"

"Hmm?"

"How do you feel about the Colonel?" Havoc asked.

"He's a bastard?" Edward was confused by the question.

"No, I mean, what do you think of your relationship with him? What would you call it?" Havoc asked.

"He's my commanding officer and he looks out for me and Al. That's what it is." Edward left it there.

"Cool." _Sounds kind of like father and son for me. Damn, Hawkeye won._ _Best not tell anyone then._ Havoc thought.

**-Break-**

Roy Mustang was washing his hands in the bathroom. He had decided to use it before it became incontinent to do so. What he was not expecting was for Major General Wood to walk in.

"Colonel." Wood remarked blandly, meeting Roy's eye in the mirror.

"Major General, sir." Roy turned around and saluted the man.

"If I get convicted, you're not getting promoted." Wood explained, his intentions perfectly clear.

"I am well aware of that, sir." Roy told him. "There are something more important than promotions, like say my nephew's life and existence."

"Why did you join the military?" Wood asked, catching Roy off guard.

"To help others." Roy explained. "Do things like make people safe by ridding them of rapists and such."

Wood didn't have anything to say when Roy left the room.

**-The Trial-**

Taylor Lawrence, Wood's attorney was pale as a sheet when he saw her next.

"Are you alright?" Wood asked her.

"Atticus M. Skibbereen, he's their lawyer." She said, running a nervous hand through her blond hair.

"What?" Wood's eyebrows shot up.

"They just sat us down to be briefed on the proceedings, and Skibbereen was there!" Taylor's green eyes were wide and frantic. "I doubt we're winning this one."

"What do you mean?" Wood asked.

"Atticus, sir, is supposedly your son." Taylor explained. "And with that kind of resemblance, I'll be dammed if he wasn't."

**-Break-**

"Good day, ladies and gents." Archer was standing in the middle of the courtroom, reading from a sheet of paper. "We are here today to seek justice and truth. Because of a desire expressed, what occurs in this room today stays here. If you are caught discussing this case outside this room, you will be jailed. Thank you, and have a good day."

Fuhrer Bradley stood behind Chief Justice Daniel Monk, a fat man with a tacky black toupee and tiny brown eyes. Justice Monk sat in his proper place, overseeing the entire court; he wore a curious expression along with his robes.

"Mr. Skibbereen, present the accusations." Justice Monk requested. Atticus, now wearing extremely fancy clothes, stood up from his seat and descended the two steps into the courtroom. He did not look out of place at all, nor did he look uncomfortable.

"On 14th of March, 1879 in the small town of Clayston, behind a shed, before the bedroom window of Gerodi Mustang, his daughter was lain out on the grass by a stranger and raped. Major General Herve David Wood happens that stranger." Atticus looked Wood in the eye, showing him the fire and passion he felt about the subject.

"Thank you, Mr. Skibbereen." Justice Monk nodded. "Mrs. Lawrence, the defense?"

"Major General Wood is an innocent man; he is being victimized and framed by a conspiracy created by Colonel Roy Mustang." She was shaky on her feet, but her words were firm. The courtroom fell into silence. Roy looked furious, but did not stand and fight.

"That's quiet the accusation you have there." Bradley remarked after a while. "Let us see the witnesses."

"Cindy Lynn Skibbereen." Justice Monk called out. Cindy stood up and walked down the pedestal for witnesses.

"You honor, sir, my name is Cindy Lynn Mustang." Cindy politely corrected the man.

"But it says here-" Justice Monk was cut off.

"I know what my official title is, sir, but it's not my name." Cindy left it at that.

"Well then, uh-" Justice Monk didn't know what to call her.

"Cindy is fine, you honor." Cindy smiled and sat down. Bradley walked over and held a sword to her throat.

"Do you swear, on your honor, your country, and your life that you will speak nothing but the truth before the people of this court?" Bradley asked her, sounding vicious.

"I swear." Cindy met Bradley's gaze with a fiercer fire, one of her own.

"Good." Bradley gave her a kind smile and returned to his previous position.

"Tell me, Mrs. Skibbereen-" Taylor began.

"Call me Cindy." Cindy insisted.

"How old were you on the 14th of March, 1879?" Taylor asked.

"I was 14." Cindy answered.

"What were you doing on the 13th of March, 1879?" Taylor asked. Atticus' eyes narrowed, recognizing the tactic.

"I was 'elpin' my mummy with the chores." Cindy answered.

"What did you have for breakfast that day?" Taylor asked.

"I don't remember." Cindy admitted.

"Tell me what you had for breakfast the day after and the day that followed that." Taylor smiled.

"I don't remember." Cindy shook her head; did she even eat breakfast after the rape?

"How old are you now?" Taylor was smirking.

"51, ma'am." Cindy answered.

"And you're Colonel Mustang's elder sister, correct?" Taylor asked. Cindy nodded. "Would you do anything your brother asked of you?"

"Oh, hell no!" Cindy gave her a look that said 'why would you ever think that?'. "He waits on me hand and foot, not the other way around!" There was some snickering from Tasha and Mary Sue.

"…." Taylor had nothing to say about that; nothing could deny that sort of honesty.

"Colonel Mustang, I am in a position to be questioning your loyalties?" Bradley asked Roy, with a small smile on his face.

"I believe, Fuhrer sir, that you are not." Roy answered from across the room.

"Why would you say that?" Taylor shot at him.

"Because that'd be asking me to risk getting a spanking before the court, which I wish to spare everyone." Roy answered.

"Tch, everyone knows you just want to show off your ass!" Havoc bellowed from the crowd, earning laughter. Roy was red with embarrassment, and Taylor blushed a little herself and decided to drop that.

"Order, order!" The gravel pounded twice, silencing the court.

"Well Mrs. Skibbereen, I think you and everyone else realizes just how long ago that March 14th, 1879 was. You can't remember the details well enough to give a proper testament." Taylor attacked her with words. "And you can't prove anything from that far back, why are you wasting our time?"

"Now, ma'am I want you to look at the man standing on the floor with you." Cindy pointed at Atticus, making everyone else look at him. "That man there is my son, conceived of my rape. I would love for you to prove 'e don't exist." There was another pause.

"You hired your son as an attorney?" Taylor all but gasped.

"'E's the best there is, that's why I 'ired 'im. 'E also 'appens to be my son, so what?" Cindy replied acidly.

"It just sounds to me like Colonel Mustang likes to get his family to do his dirty work for him." Taylor rolled her eyes.

"Thank you Mrs. Lawrence." Justice Monk nodded to Atticus.

"Cindy, please recall to the court the events of March 14th, 1879." Atticus asked. Cindy recited her story, all the details matched the interrogation report, but some were missing and some were added, as was to be expected of someone trying to recall something.

"Thank you, Cindy." Atticus bowed to her.

"Gerodi Mustang." Justice Monk requested after Cindy sat back down. Gerodi sat down and glared at the Fuhrer.

"You will not be puttin' no sword ta my throat, boy!" Gerodi hissed.

"Then what would you like to be threatened with?" Bradley asked.

"Ma family's 'onor an' closure is at stake 'ere! Thats enough." Gerodi assured Bradley. Roy rolled his eyes and walked over to the stand.

"Threaten my life, it'll be more effective." Roy offered. Bradley nodded and held his sword to Roy's throat. Gerodi was very uncomfortable with the sight of his son being held at sword point.

"Do you, Gerodi Mustang, swear on your honor, your country, and the life of your son that you will speak nothing but the truth before the people of this court?" Bradley asked the man.

"Ah swear on everythin' you said an' on the lives of my ancestors ta boot!" Gerodi met the challenge with another. Bradley smiled and took the sword down from Roy's throat. Roy returned to his seat as Bradley returned to his place.

"Mr. Mustang, what did you eat for breakfast on March 14th, 1879?" Taylor asked him.

"Cheese grits an' bacon." Gerodi answered. "Ah had that the day before and after too. With a tall glass of orange juice."

"By any chance is that the meal you have every morning?" Taylor asked.

"Yup!"

"What did you have for dinner those evenings?" Taylor asked.

"Ah don't remember." Gerodi answered. "But that don't matter anyhow."

"It does today." Taylor reminded him.

"Do tell me, ma'am, 'ow watchin' ma fourteen year old daughter grow round with child is something' Ah wouldn't remember?" Gerodi asked her. "That's a pretty damn memorable thing."

"Look, you're an old man-" Taylor began.

"You watch your mouth!" Gerodi snapped at her. "You don't go callin' me names!"

"You're not as young as you used to be and your memory is faulty." Taylor snapped back. "You probably have some kind of grudge against the Major General, and I will find it."

"Ms. Taylor, please." Justice Monk cut her off to avoid bloodshed.

"Could you recount what happened on March 14th, 1879?" Atticus asked. Gerodi recounted the same story as Cindy did.

"Thank you, now Major General Wood, it is your turn to come to stand." Gerodi walked back to his seat, all the while glaring at Taylor. The Major General took a seat and Bradley swore him in.

"Major General, sir," Atticus began, "is that your natural hair?"

"Er- yes." Wood didn't like were this is going.

"My hair is natural too, but I'm afraid red doesn't run in my mother's family, where do you think I got it?" Atticus asked him.

"…From you father?" Wood didn't like looking at his own face accusing him.

"Yes, I did." Atticus left it there. "According to the military records, on March 14th, 1879 you were in transit from West City to Salve, right?" (3)

"Yes, I was." Wood answered.

"According to some military calculations Lieutenant Colonel Archer did," Atticus acknowledged him with a nod, "you would have been passing through Clayston on that date, is that correct?"

"I was passing through, that's all I did." Wood left it at that, he wasn't about to deny military calculations for his position.

"Do you have any witnesses that saw you 'just pass through'?" Atticus asked. "Surely you remember someone's face."

"I don't remember anyone's face, I was just trying to get through Salve." Wood responded. "I didn't have a reason to pay attention."

"What roads did you use?" Atticus asked. "I'm sure we could contact someone who lived on them that would recall you walking by."

"How do you know they would have noticed me?" Wood countered.

"Because this is _Clayston_ we're talking about. People there notice strangers." Atticus rolled his eyes. "In my hand here, I have several recounts of people looking for a stranger that had passed through town, raped a fourteen year old girl, and then ran." Atticus held up the paper.

"Please explain these." Atticus handed them to Wood. Wood read them over out loud.

"I passed through town before this happened." Wood answered.

"Do you recognize this girl?" Atticus asked, handing Wood a picture of a fourteen year old Cindy that Jaxith had drawn with amazing realism earlier. Wood did recognize the girl, but he shook his head. Archer narrowed his eyes, having caught a flicker of Wood's expression of horror and recognition.

"Right here in my hand, I have a photograph." Atticus held it up. "This was taken by the military investigators on March 14th, 1879. It is a picture of a fourteen year old girl, and her bloody, abused body." The picture was passed around, showing everyone the brutality of Cindy's rape.

"Are you going to deny that that girl in the photo wasn't raped?" Atticus asked.

"I would say she was." Wood admitted.

"Now, Major General Wood, sir, I was born on November 16th, 1879, about nine months after that photograph was taken." Atticus pulled out a large album. "These are photographs of her pregnancy and my childhood. Are you going to deny that I am not her son?"

After looking at the pictures Wood agreed that Atticus was Cindy's son.

"So, we have established that Cindy was raped and from that rape I was born." Atticus began. "There is no one with red hair in my family, and you're the only stranger that passed through town that day. Just to be sure all this evidence is adding up, I would like you to take a blood test with me. If it turns out we are not related, then I will drop the charges."

"Have you secured a doctor for that?" Wood asked.

"Fullmetal, bring him in." Bradley ordered. Edward stood up, saluted, and then ran out the door. A few minutes later a doctor came in, lab coat and all.

"Good day, Dr. Knox." Justice Monk greeted the newcomer. Dr. Knox has a buzz cut for his black hair. He wore glasses and several wrinkles that indicated a hard life. He didn't spare anyone a glance.

"Good day. Do you want me to do it in here?" Dr. Knox asked.

"Sure." The judge requested. Dr. Knox pulled a few beakers and some powder of his bag. He then grabbed two sanitized syringes.

"You." Dr. Knox looked at Edward. "Grab my tourniquet." Edward fetched the string. Dr. Knox quickly took the blood of both men.

"Now when I mix this blood with this power here, the blood will be separated into parts. The part inherited from the father is purple and rises to the top. The part from the mother is yellow and sticks to the bottom." Dr. Knox poured some distilled water into the beaker with the mentioned power and squirted Atticus' blood into it. After a few minutes there was a purple substance at the top and a yellow one at the bottom. Carefully Dr. Knox scooped the purple stuff into another beaker.

"This powder will take parts of blood that are the same and combine to form a blue precipitate at the bottom. If all the purple goo I have here reacts, then the Wood is Atticus' father." Dr. Knox proceeded to start the reaction. Indeed, there was no purple stuff left over at the end of the reaction. (4)

"Thank you, Dr. Knox." Bradley and Justice Monk bowed and Dr. Knox went over and took a seat in the small crowd.

"Well, since now we know that we are related…." Atticus began. "Perhaps you would like to explain why you are accusing Colonel Roy Mustang of attacking through this trial?"

"I don't know his reasons for wanting me ruined!" Wood hissed.

"You know, Major General Sir, I have a son." Atticus gave him a loathing look. "His name is Jaxith Howard Skibbereen." Wood paled.

"Your son brutally attacked my child, unprovoked, and sent my boy into relapse. Perhaps you would like to explain your family's grudge against mine?" Atticus asked. He was met with silence. "And I assure you that Colonel Mustang doesn't have grudge against you, he asked for this trial to be kept as discrete and anonymous as possible to protect your family. That's really considerate for someone you're claiming wants you ruined."

Wood said nothing.

"Now I ask you this, did you or did you not rape Cindy Lynn Mustang on March 14th, 1879?" Atticus had Wood cornered.

"I did, I am guilty."

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Atticus kicks ass doesn't he?

1- I just totally made that up. I don't know how an actual court proceeding goes, but since this is a foreign country, I do have a right to make something up. So this is how I decided they do this stuff in Amestris.

2- Roy and Atticus were notorious to showing up covered in dirt and grime when they were young, this is a reference to that.

3- Salve (pronounced Say-lee-vee) is the second town just before West City on a train from Central. Clayston is the stop between Salve and West City. Wood's family is from there.

4- These powders were developed with alchemy. They don't exist in our world as far as I know.

I hope you liked!


	28. Casue and Effect

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: Not mine!

Recap: Wood confessed! Cause Atticus kicks that much ass.

Other Stuff: I'm at 176 pages right now, I would appreciate getting more reviews than pages. So to start, why don't we aim for reviews this chapter?

Previously:

_"Now I ask you this, did you or did you not rape Cindy Lynn Mustang on March 14__th__, 1879?" Atticus had Wood cornered. _

_"I did, I am guilty."_

Chapter 27: Cause and Effect

Just as Major General Wood promised, Colonel Roy Mustang did not get his promotion.

Just as sentenced, Major General Wood announced his retirement and went back to Western Headquarters to train his successor.

What no one predicted was that Tamesis Wood would be staying in Central with his mother until his father returned from the last of his business in West City. The family would be moving there in Wood's retirement, which meant that next term Tamesis would be starting school at the Flamel Academy.

It was not something anyone was looking forward to. Wood and Roy still shared a good bit of heat. This heat was only going to cause Roy trouble later because Wood still had a lot of influence and Roy had relatively little, having failed to get promoted. Atticus and Gerodi both warned Roy to tread lightly until Wood's power faded. Roy agreed and then told Jaxith not to cause any more trouble with Tamesis for everyone's sake. It was mainly because if there was continued tension between the Woods and the Mustangs, it would very well turn into a nasty feud.

Gerodi and Victoria Mustang grabbed their children and grandchildren and left Central to head back to Clayston. But that was after they made Roy promise that he and Jaxith would be in Clayston on Thanksgiving Day, even if it involved getting mortally wounded. Tasha stuck around, presumably to continue courting Havoc (if the man's constant dumb smile was anything to go by).

The Elric brothers were forced to stay in Central until Edward successfully got a driver's license. And who better to give driving lessons than Alex Louis Armstrong and all his family traditions in teaching and driving? It goes without saying to know that Edward was less than thrilled to hear that news. Alphonse was most upset to hear that he had to wait another year before he could get driving lessons himself.

Jaxith returned to school that Monday along with the rest of the student population. He felt detached and tired, a lot had happened to him since he last set foot in the school. He entered Euclid's classroom to find the math teacher sitting there with Avogadro hunched over some book on the desk.

"Good morning." Jaxith said a little loudly, making sure both teachers were aware of his presence.

"Morning Jaxith." "Good day Skibbe." Jaxith shuddered at his chemistry teacher's nickname; it was by far his least favorite. Euclid shut the book and handed it to Avogadro, who nodded and left.

"Ready for some math?" Euclid asked.

"More than ever!" Jaxith gasped. Doing something unrelated to trials and military was a relief, it made Jaxith feel normal again. Euclid smiled back and went about arranging his materials for the day. Jaxith sat down and began to sketch Edward in uniform. Not too long later Samantha and Michel came in.

"Jax!" They cried, rushing over to give him a hug.

"Hey!" Jaxith felt really uncomfortable being held.

"Von Kisper told us that your family had some closure about something important, was that true?" Samantha asked.

"Yes." Jaxith smiled. "Yes we did."

"That's wonderful!" Samantha smiled.

"Oh! Mike! Winry Rockbell's in Central right now, I have a number you can reach her at for lunch. Apparently she's interested in talking to you." Jaxith pulled the sheet of paper from his pocket. Michel smiled and took it.

"Thanks!" Michel was smiling, but Samantha was frowning. Jaxith promptly decided he did not understand the female race, nor could he ever hope to.

"Oh and here's the picture of your mother, I finished it last night." Jaxith held up an official military manila envelope that he had snagged from his great-uncle's office. It did not take Jaxith long to figure out that artwork was easily preserved in these envelopes. Of course Hawkeye was still trying to figure out why they were always a few manila envelopes short every month, but that wasn't Jaxith's problem.

Carefully Michel opened up the envelope and pulled out the picture. It was a simple image of his mother smiling at him, her eyes twinkling with pride. Her features weren't fantasized, they were real, including flaws and a roughness that can normally only be reproduced in a photograph. The picture had been drawn in colored pencil, the lights and lines very precise and realistic. For the first time in several years, Michel looked at the face of his mother.

"Its mom." Michel said after a while. "The real her." Samantha looked over Michel's shoulder to get a better look at the image. She gasped softly.

"She's so real!" Samantha was in awe.

"Thank you." Michel told Jaxith, carefully putting the picture back in the envelope. "Thank you for bringing her back!"

"No problem." Jaxith smiled.

"As wonderful as that is, class is starting." Euclid gave all three the eye then proceeded to take attendance.

**-Break-**

Von Kisper stood in front of his class, wearing an extra grim expression.

"Your projects are due this Friday. So I do hope you slackers get off your asses." Von Kisper told them in his usual, serious, gruff voice. Jaxith paled, having completely forgotten about the project.

**-Break-**

"Did you hear!?" Samantha exclaimed as she sat down next to Jaxith and Michel at lunch. Both boys shook their heads. "There's a dance coming up!"

"A dance?" Jaxith asked, paling.

"Uh-huh!" Samantha nodded.

"Hey, isn't the Hallows Eve Festival coming up too?" Michel asked.

"Yeah, there's having a dance this week to prepare us for next week!" Samantha smiled. "I can't wait!"

"We have a project due Friday…." Jaxith moaned, changing the topic away from dances and festivals.

"So? Mine's done." Samantha didn't seem to care. "Though I admit I haven't been panicking about court trials like you have."

"Thanks." Jaxith's voice was full of sarcasm.

"So who are you two boys going to ask out to the dances?" Samantha asked with a small glint in her eye.

"I'm not going." Jaxith announced quickly. "I can't dance."

"What?" Both Samantha and Michel were stunned.

"You've got to be joking." Michel stared at his friend.

"I have two left feet." Jaxith admitted. "I'm not good at everything."

"I'd offer to correct that issue but you won't have time with the project." Samantha sighed. "It was a lot of work."

"Good to know." Michel moaned.

"Want to come over to work on it?" Jaxith asked.

"If your uncle's permitting."

**-Break-**

Roy was rather embarrassed and panicked to hear about that development. Embarrassed because he forgot, terrified because he had to talk to Armstrong and his commanding officer. Despite the unhappy prospects of both events, Roy did them both and madly typed up information for his great-nephew and friend. Hawkeye decided to let the fact that Roy had not completed his paperwork slide until the boys arrived.

"Whose turn is it to pick up Jaxith anyways?" Havoc asked. At this time Armstrong entered.

"Does the young Skibbereen need a ride? **Fear not! The might of the Armstrong family is here to help!"** Armstrong bellowed, sparkling.

"Uh, Major, don't we have a driving lesson today?" Edward asked, looking blue and terrified already. This was his tenth lesson, but it didn't mean he was looking forward to it.

**"Then we shall this opportunity as an excuse to practice! Come, young Elric!"** Armstrong picked up Edward and hauled him out the door.

"Um…. Do you think they know where the Flamel Academy is?" Fuery asked.

"What I am concerned about," Roy explained, "is Mike's sanity."

"And you're not concerned about Edward's?" Falman reminded him.

"This is a punishment. I can't just be a pushover about it." Roy rolled his eyes.

**-After what Edward thought was a very, very long time-**

Edward carefully pulled the car into the parking lot. Once the car was in a space he let out a long breath and shook a little from being too tense.

"You need to learn to relax when you are driving." Armstrong observed.

_Maybe if I didn't have a two meter tall, sparkling man in the car with me!_ Edward let out a small snort in response rather than to voice his opinions. The two sat in a comfortable silence while Edward dozed.

Click! Click! Jaxith rapped his knuckles on the window, catching Edward and Armstrong's attention. Edward rolled down the window slightly.

"The doors are unlocked." Edward left it at that. Michel and Jaxith proceeded to climb into the car.

"Are you sure we're in the right car?" Michel asked Jaxith nervously.

"Yes, this is the only military car here." Jaxith assured him. "Besides I know the people in the car. Major Armstrong, this is my friend Michel Grevalo, Mike, this is Major Alex Louis Armstrong." Jaxith introduced his friend to the large man.

"It is a pleasure to meet you." Armstrong held out his huge hand for shaking. Michel accepted, awed to meet the Strong Arm Alchemist in person.

"Ed, this is my friend Mike, Mike, this is Major Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist." Jaxith finished his introductions. Michel looked at Edward, who looked down right exhausted.

"Are you okay?" Michel inquired.

"I'm learning to drive," Edward cracked a smile, "and it's a bit stressful." Edward then swung out his hand for Michel to shake. Michel noticed right away that the hand he was shaking was automail.

"Say, I'm really interested in automail, can I have a look at your hand sometime?" Michel asked.

"You'll be better off talking to a mechanic." Edward pointed out.

"But I wanted to see if there was anything custom about your automail!" Michel exclaimed. "I was wondering more what a State Alchemist wants out of their automail versus someone who's looking for a common set of functions."

"You're better off talking to Granny then, she knows all the terminology and stuff." Edward explained as he started the car. "She knows how to take my vague ideas and make something fit for me and my style."

"Why don't you recommend him to Miss Rockbell, is she not in town?" Armstrong asked.

"Because Winry's here on vacation, not to do work." Edward huffed defensively.

"I'm not interested in her romantically." Michel explained, quickly catching the protectiveness in Edward's voice. "I just want to talk to her and ask her some questions about what it's like to actually work on automail and whatnot. It's no different than me wanting to ask you what it's like to be a State Alchemist."

To this Edward said nothing, but instead pulled the car out of the space and took off down the road. An awkward silence befell the car.

"So, what brings you to the Mustang residence this evening?" Armstrong asked Michel.

"Mustang-Skibbereen." Jaxith corrected.

"Umm, a school project." Michel answered.

"What kind of project?" Edward asked.

"History." Jaxith didn't want to admit that they were studying State Alchemists.

"We're doing reports on State Alchemists." Michel went on.

"Oh I heard about that!" Edward exclaimed as he carefully stopped the car to let pass some pedestrians. "Mustang was asking me all sorts of questions- which of you is studying me?"

"Er-" Michel wasn't expecting that. Jaxith smirked and pointed.

"I better look over your information to make sure Mustang didn't make me look bad." Edward told Michel.

"Sure?" Michel didn't know about Edward and Roy's relationship. "Woah! It's huge!" They had arrived at Headquarters. Thought Michel had grown up in Central he had never had an excuse to look at the military building up close. The last opportunity he had, he hadn't been paying attention too much.

"There are a lot of people stationed there, it's not too surprising." Edward remarked casually. He maneuvered the car into his parking place and shut off the engine.

"You're a good driver." Jaxith commented.

"I learned from a good teacher." Edward chuckled; he couldn't deny that Armstrong wasn't a good teacher, because he was. Everyone climbed out of the car. Edward and Armstrong exchanged salutes and parted ways, Michel and Jaxith following Edward. Soon the three were in Mustang's office.

"Well that's amusing." Havoc was looking smug at a paper he and the rest of his comrades were gathered around.

"What is amusing?" Edward asked.

"It appears that Wood's retirement has left a hole in the High Command, so I'm getting promoted anyways." Roy explained with a laugh.

"Bet that pisses him off." Edward chuckled.

"Wood?" Michel asked.

"Classified inside joke." Breda explained quickly. "You'd do yourself a favor by not speaking of it or inquiring about it again."

"Yeah, it's like asking Edward about his research, it's a complete no-go." Fuery explained. Michel looked crushed.

"Was that part of your project?" Edward asked. Michel gave a small nod. "The Fuhrer himself deemed it confidential, I'm sorry that we can't talk about it."

"Your teacher is Von Kisper, right? He's ex-military, he'll understand." Roy smiled sympathetically to Michel. "Besides, a lot of State Alchemists do confidential research; you're not the only one who'll have that as an answer."

"Of course, usually they will have fraudulence for the public to sate them…." Falman remembered.

"Oh that? I don't have a set research project, I'm just freelancing until I find something that interests me, helping people around me while I'm at it." Edward explained with a smile.

"Here's your information." Roy got up from his desk and handed Michel a manila envelope with the detailed bits and pieces in there. "And here's yours." Roy handed Jaxith his information.

"I owe you big." Jaxith admitted.

"No, you owe the poor investigations intern big." Roy corrected him. "I don't normally abuse my rank, but there are some things I am not cut out for."

"Says the man that sticks me in a car with Armstrong for several hours each day." Edward snorted.

"This is your punishment, deal with it Fullmetal." Roy glared at Edward.

"Michel, Jaxith, you're welcome to use my typewriter." Hawkeye offered. "I happen to be done with my paperwork."

Thankfully for Roy, he could take a hint. He went right back to his desk and started back on the pile of unfinished paperwork.

"You're being such a good dog! Whenever did you turn over the new leaf, Colonel?" Edward asked his superior mockingly, catching Michel off guard.

"Can it, shorty." Roy grunted.

**"Who are you calling so microscopic that he can't disturb you while you do your paperwork!?"** Edward roared, slamming his fists on Roy's desk. Roy winced.

"Definitely not you." Roy glared. "Now get your hands off my desk or I'll court-martial you."

"Like you would." Edward rolled his eyes and removed his hands.

"Go bother your brother in the library or something." Roy dismissed Edward.

"Yeah, yeah." Edward waved it off and left the room.

"Umm…" Michel didn't know what to say.

"They're always like that, you get used to it in time." Breda assured the boy with a slap on his back.

-----------

Well, we're moving into the next part of the story. There's a time skip coming up, you have been warned. Drop a review!


	29. Eating Out

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: Still don't own it.

Recap: Edward finds himself driving Jaxith and Michel around.

Other Stuff: When I started this story I was thinking it was going to be about 20 chapters…. Man was I wrong. It's going to be about 40 at this rate.

Previously:

_"Umm…" Michel didn't know what to say._

"_They're always like that, you get used to it." Breda assured the boy with a slap on his back._

Chapter 28: Eating Out

"Aren't we supposed to give a little speech on them?" Michel asked, hitting the return key to make the typewriter go 'ka-ching'. Jaxith didn't look up from his great-uncle's typewriter, appearing to be completely engrossed in this work. Said great-uncle looked up from his new place on the floor, blinking once. He picked up a sheet from his nearby desk and read it.

"According to your assignment description, that is correct." Roy answered, setting the paper back atop the desk before Jaxith noticed it was missing.

"When'd you wind up on the floor?" Michel asked, having just been extremely focused himself.

"About an hour ago." Roy answered after checking his watch with a glance. He didn't seem to mind being on the floor much at all. He went back to the almost gone pile of paperwork, humming contently.

"You know, I kind of miss all the overtime." Havoc explained to Breda, both of whom were done with their work. "I had more money then."

"But no time to do anything with it." Breda remarked. "Alas, there is no such thing as a perfect world."

"…Do I want to know?" Michel asked as he organized his papers. The door to the office opened and Edward and Alphonse came in.

"Hey Colonel Shit." Edward addressed his commanding officer.

"Ah, Fullmetal, thank you for reminding me. Mike, this little brat-" Roy pointed at Edward.

**"Who you calling so tiny you can't see him from the floor!?"** Edward lunged, finding himself being quickly restrained by his brother.

"Brother! No one said any such thing!" Alphonse tried to voice reason to his irate brother.

"-has a filthy mouth and doesn't respect authority." Roy finished.

"…I'm not going to rewrite this to include that information." Michel left it at that.

"Done!" Jaxith jumped up, proud of himself. "Oh hi." This was said when Jaxith became aware of the rest of the world staring at him.

"So glad you could join us, now get off my desk." Roy remarked sounded dry.

"But Colonel, you look so fantastic on the floor!" Edward protested mockingly.

"I'm sure you're well aware of the fact that if I stand up, you're going to be looking up at me again." Roy reminded Edward just to goad him.

"I had no idea that two of the possibly the most respected alchemists in this country are so… juvenile." Michel remarked, astonished. Edward and Roy both turned red, not really willing to comment while Alphonse and the rest of the office tried not to laugh. Moments later Edward's stomach growled.

"You came into my office before you fed yourself?" Roy blinked. "That's a first."

"We came here to invite Michel and Jaxith to dinner, sir." Alphonse explained.

"Food? You have food?" Michel asked with big eyes, he was extremely hungry.

"Sure, I'd love to go!" Jaxith smiled and quickly picked up and organized his work. Michel and Jaxith were soon standing at the door, both eager to get some food.

"And where will y'all be eating?" Roy asked as he collected himself off the floor and moved back to his desk.

"Y'all? You just said y'all." Michel was stunned.

"It means 'you all'." Jaxith explained, making an effort not to say y'all. "We say it all the time out West."

"But he's-" Michel protested.

"-From Clayston." Roy reminded Michel. "Didn't you just spend a great deal of time writing about that?"

"Er, yes." Michel felt idiotic.

"We're going to that restaurant on Lavender and Kingsly."(1) Edward explained. "I've seen you there with those one night stands you're always having."

"Yes, I do know the place." Roy glared at Edward. "Who's paying?"

"Are you volunteering?" Edward asked, smirking. "Because I am removing what should be your burden from your shoulders."

**"How noble of you!"** Armstrong burst into the office dramatically, tears and pink sparkles present around him in abundance. **"Offering to pay for everyone's meal! A generosity worthy of an Armstrong!"** Roy sat down the floor, his eyes wide, stunned by the unexpected outburst.

"Thank you Uncle Roy!" Jaxith smirked. Roy turned blue, feeling rather manipulated.

"I'll have to come with you then." Roy looked to the side, praying he could hold back Edward's stomach.

"What, you don't trust me with money?" Edward asked.

"It's not that, I just don't want to leave you without enough." Roy waved it off, pulling himself and his work off the floor.

"That's very thoughtful of you, Colonel." Alphonse 'smiled'. An amazing feat, considering that he was currently armor.

"Major, what are you doing here?" Breda asked Armstrong.

"I brought some photographs for young Skibbereen's project." Armstrong explained holding up a photo album.

"Oh thank you!" Jaxith exclaimed taking the photographs from Armstrong.

"Fullmetal, come here." Roy said, having reached the bottom of his paperwork; the one on the bottom happened to be Edward's report. Edward walked over to the desk, looking bored.

"What the _heck_ is that supposed to be?" Roy pointed at an entire page that didn't make much sense.

"Oh, that's my personal notes!" Edward rubbed the back of his head. "I didn't mean to turn that in."

"You have a doodle of Miss Rockbell throwing wrenches at me with devil horns." Roy did not look amused. (2) Edward snatched the sheet from him quickly. Alphonse moaned; apparently Edward's doodles were all this bad.

"This is my research and you have no right to be looking at it!" Edward glared back.

"You have an appointment with me at oh nine hundred hours tomorrow."(3) Roy told Edward and went back to finishing reading the report.

**"These paintings are absolutely extraordinary! The artist is worthy of much acclamation indeed!"** Armstrong bellowed with joy when he finally noticed Jaxith's artwork on the wall. Everyone in the office sweatdropped when Armstrong stood there and went on a tirade about how truly magnificent the artwork was. Fuery put a pair of headphones on and went back to his paperwork. Breda and Falman put in earplugs. Havoc banged his head against the desk and pretended to be dead. Riza simply rolled her eyes and endured.

"Did you draw those, Jax?" Michel asked.

"Yes." Jaxith answered quietly.

"Nice." Michel nodded in approval. "When'd you do them?"

"In the little lull I had before school started." Jaxith explained.

"Ah." Michel nodded.

"Let's go before he notices we're leaving." Roy said jerked his head at Armstrong, having finished his paperwork.

"Sure."

**-At the restaurant-**

"Ed!" Michel gasped, recognizing his calculus teacher. Euclid had dressed himself differently, wearing a nice pair of black slacks as opposed to beat up, torn military trousers. He was wearing a white dress shirt, notably buttoned up (as he usually unbuttons it during class for 'comfort' reasons). Suspenders, as well as a red bowtie was present.(4) His hair was pulled back into a loose bun at the base of his neck, making him look extremely professional and nice. Under one arm was a present wrapped in red.

"Oh, hello Mike." Euclid smiled; he was not wearing glasses, either.

"You're dressed…strangely." Jaxith remarked.

"He looks normal to me." Edward remarked. "If anything, he's a bit formal."

"Does is surprise you that I have a life out of school, Jax?" Euclid asked, raising an eyebrow. "I'm waiting for my wife; we're having our anniversary dinner."

"Ah," Roy nodded, "so how have things been for you?"

"I'm fine if that's what you're asking. People yell a lot at schools, I'm used to it." Euclid wave Roy off.

"Who is he?" Edward asked Jaxith and Michel.

"Our calculus teacher." Michel explained. "And the father of one of my best friends."

"Ah." Edward nodded.

"So, Mike, Jax, who are this two?" Euclid eyed Edward and Alphonse.

"This is Edward and Alphonse Elric, they're friends of mine." Jaxith introduced them.

"Nice to meet you." Euclid nodded. "I'm Euclid Derivative. Call me Ed."

"I can see why." Edward muttered. "Nice to meet you too!"

"'Clidy!" A female voice called from behind.

"That'd be my wife. Have a good evening." Euclid said quickly, embarrassed by his nickname.

"I wonder if Al gave him that one…." Jaxith muttered.

"I did what?" Alphonse was confused.

"No, no, Avogadro Lanthanide, my chemistry teacher. He calls himself 'Al'." Jaxith explained.

"Are you two coming?" Roy called, already inside the restaurant.

"Yes!" The two boys ran in. Soon everyone was seated at a table and finished ordering their food.

"So, Jaxith who are you going to ask to the dance?" Michel asked.

"I thought I told you, I'm not going." Jaxith told Michel back.

"A dance?" Edward asked, eyebrows rising. Back in Risembol they had barn dances, which were a lot of fun. Edward honestly saw no reason as to why Jaxith wouldn't want to go.

"Is it because you're lacking a date?" Roy asked, innocently.

"I can't dance." Jaxith was red with shame.

"Didn't Mary teach you?" Roy asked, concerned.

"Tried to." Jaxith muttered, feeling pathetic.

"Ah, just like Cindy." Roy smiled. "She can't dance either."

"Why don't you go with some friends to chat?" Alphonse asked. "When we had dances back home, there were people who sat all of them out to sit and chat with their friends instead."

"So you and Ed are willing to come then?" Jaxith then asked.

"Umm…." Edward didn't want to be forced into to something, but Jaxith had a desperate expression on his face.

"I'm going to ask Samantha." Michel announced deciding a change of subject was needed.

"Really? Good luck." Jaxith reminded his friend.

"Edward, do you know how to dance?" Roy asked.

"Yes." Edward looked offended. "Our mom and Teacher taught us."

"Yeah, dancing and fighting have a lot in common." Alphonse chimed in.

"Maybe you just need a good partner." Michel remarked. Jaxith shook his head.

"So what kind of dance is this?" Roy asked.

"It's an informal one, practice for the Hallows Eve Dance." Michel explained.

"Hallows Eve?" Alphonse asked.

"Do you not celebrate Hallows Eve in Risembol?" Roy asked.

"We celebrate by lighting candles in the windows and fasting." Edward explained. "It's kind of a somber holiday out there."

"Ah, out West we have dances in honor of the dead." Roy explained. "Usually dressing up as sprits so that we can be closer to them."

"It's one of the few nights you don't drink." Jaxith nodded.

"In Central we have a festival." Michel explained. "Where is Risembol?"

"It's a tiny town out East." Edward explained.

"Ah." Michel nodded, knowing that it was a rural farming community. "So who are you guys dressing up as for Hallows Eve?"

"I don't dress up on Hallows Eve, I have to work." Roy explained when everyone looked at him expectantly. "The military lets children come around and pick up candy in their costumes and my office is on the route they take. After that's closed, I usually go downtown with my subordinates to help keep the peace for the festivities down there."

"That sucks." Michel surmised.

"Not really, I get free food." Roy shrugged. "It not hard either, I just have to stand around and glare at anyone who's looking for trouble."

"We're usually on the road." Alphonse explained. "And we just do what we would in Risembol wherever we happen to be."

"But you're going to be here, so what are you dressing up as?" Michel asked.

"Umm…." Edward paused. "I haven't thought that far ahead."

"Like usual." Alphonse muttered. "I'll probably just walk around in my armor."

"That's so lame." Michel said. "Why don't you take it off and dress as something different?"

"Because it's his hobby." Edward answered quickly.

"I don't know yet myself." Jaxith answered. "But I think I have an idea."

"Oh?" Michel asked.

"I'll tell you later!" Jaxith smirked. "I want it to be a surprise."

Before Michel could protest food arrived, ending the conversation.

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Whoo! I have a good few notes this time around.

1- An intersection in Central that's about 4 blocks from Headquarters.

2- Coming soon to my Deviant Art account! There will be a link on my profile and through my homepage.

3- Oh nine hundred hours is 09:00 military time. It's how they say it in the military.

4- This implies that Euclid's pants aren't fitted. Men usually didn't use belts in the 1910s, they used suspenders. This also implies that Euclid does not own a vest to cover his suspenders.

So now Edward's going to a school dance, whatever could this mean? And what the heck is Jaxith's idea of a costume? Drop a review and I'll update answers more quickly!


	30. Automail for Dummies

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: Still don't own it.

Recap: We found out that Jaxith can't dance and Edward can.

Other Stuff: 190 reviews, wow. Nearly 200. Can we work to breaking 200? Oh and my infamous time skip will be after the second dance.

Previously:

_"I'll tell you later!" Jaxith smirked. "I want it to be a surprise."_

_Before Michel could protest food arrived, ending the conversation._

Chapter 29: Automail for Dummies

"Thank you for the dinner." Michel bowed. They were standing in front of Michel's home, which was on the crappier side of town, but happened to have been in the most decent neighborhood. Michel's home was by far the best taken care of on the block, due to the fact that Michel's father built houses for a living. It was a charming house, brown with a baby blue trim. It had a sort of rustic, cottage feel about it. The yard wasn't perfect, but it was clean and mowed regularly. The only major flaw was the very dead 'garden' out front by the door.

"Nice place." Roy observed. It was rare to be able to own an actual home in Central, they were usually quite expensive.

"Dad works hard to keep it." Michel smiled. "Would you like to come in?"

"Umm…." Roy didn't want to be rude; thankfully, he didn't have to guess the appropriate answer when Michel's father came out of the house. He was a tall, lanky man with balding brown hair and green eyes. He looked tired and sick, but wore a pleasant smile.

"Hello, I'm Jonathan Grevalo." Jonathan introduced himself, shaking Roy's hand. "You're Jaxith's uncle, right?"

"Yes, I'm Roy Mustang." Roy smiled, noticing that despite his unkempt and sickly appearance, Jonathan was a nice guy.

"And you must be Jaxith." Jonathan turned and shook Jaxith's hand. "It's nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too sir." Jaxith smiled, looking every bit as charming as his uncle.

"I don't think I know who you two are." Jonathan looked at Edward and Alphonse.

"I'm Edward Elric, this is my brother Alphonse." Edward explained quickly. "I work for Mustang here and Jaxith's a friend of mine."

"Aren't you in the military?" Jonathan asked Roy.

"Yes, Edward happens to be the Fullmetal Alchemist." Roy explained.

"Oh!" Jonathan gasped. "It is a pleasure to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too Mr. Grevalo." Alphonse bowed.

"Oh, and thank you for housing Mike the other night, I try not to do that but…." Jonathan sighed.

"It's alright, the fact you recognize that you have a problem and is taking care of it is a load off my back." Roy assured the man.

"Yeah, dealing with irresponsible drunks really is annoying." Edward sighed.

"Well thank you for feeding him." Jonathan bowed. "You're welcome anytime."

"I'll take you up on that if I'm in the neighborhood." Roy smiled, bowing himself. Michel gave one last bow and he and his father retreated into their home.

"They're nice people." Roy commented and got back into the car. The boys also scrambled to climb into the car.

"So Jaxith, what exactly happens at a dance?" Alphonse asked.

"Usually a bunch of people gather around a live band and just dance. There's chatting and some food and drink. It's just an excuse to dress nicely and have some fun." Jaxith explained. "Well, if it's anything like the Clayston Dance Hall."

"Ah, I remember that Hall. Good times." Roy chuckled.

"How many girls did you score?" Edward asked with a cat-like grin.

"Do you honestly think I'd score with members of my family?" Roy asked dryly. "No, it was more about just getting out there and having fun."

"We have barn dances out in Risembol, those were pretty fun." Alphonse remarked.

"We haven't been in a while though." Edward sighed.

"Which reminds me, if you're going to a dance, you'll need clothes." Roy remarked. "There is no way in hell you're going in those leather pants of yours."

"There's nothing wrong with my choice of pants!" Edward growled.

"Oh that's right, you don't know etiquette if it hit you in the side of the head." Roy remarked, making Edward angry. "Normally I'd let you go out and make a fool of yourself but I will _not_ have you embarrassing Jaxith just because you didn't have the decency to wear a pair of slacks."

"Uncle Roy!" Jaxith gasped, distressed.

"Jaxith, I brought you to Central so you could get away from the problems back home." Roy began. "Those same problems can resurface here if you don't take care of the situation. I'm just trying to help."

"But grandpa said real men do things by themselves." Jaxith protested.

"No, real men know when to ask for help. Prideful men never ask for help." Roy answered. "Even my pa will ask for help, he just doesn't admit he does."

"Oh." Jaxith felt just a bit foolish.

"We're here Fullmetal." Roy answered, stopping in front of the dorms. "Bring some money tomorrow."

"Whatever, Colonel Shit." Edward gave him a mock salute and left the car.

"Sorry about my brother, sir." Alphonse apologized.

"You know, you can come to the dance too, Al." Jaxith smiled. "There's no reason you can't."

"Thank you, Jaxith." Alphonse bowed and ran off into the dorms.

"We'll have to get you some clothes too." Roy was smirking.

"I already have some!" Jaxith protested.

"They're not nearly sexy enough." Roy hummed and drove off, making his great-nephew pale in realization of newfound fear.

**-Break-**

"Edward. Could you take me somewhere?" Winry asked him the next morning after he returned to his dorm from his appointment with Roy.

"I'm a little busy here." Edward admitted. He was carrying several bags of clothes. "I swear the Colonel shops like a girl."

"You went shopping?" Winry stared in disbelief. Unless it was looking for books, Edward didn't _shop_.

"Yes, me and Ed are going to a dance and the Colonel insisted he have some clothes." Alphonse remarked, smiling at his brother.

"You were egging him on, traitor!" Edward pointed an accusing finger at Alphonse.

"Let's see what you bought!" Winry squealed, distracted by the clothes. She pulled up a blue dress shirt.

"Xingese silk!" Winry gasped, awed. "This is the first time I've ever felt it."

"It feels weird." Edward muttered.

"And these pants!" Winry held up a pair of dark brown wool slacks, complete with houndstooth.

"You should see the vest." Alphonse told Winry as she pulled out the suspenders. Winry then found the vest, pulling it out. The vest had a light cream colored cotton front, with a red silk back.

"Oh, wow. Ed, this is amazing." Winry remarked.

"It doesn't have a Flamel, though." Edward snorted.

"Would you like me to sew one on?" Winry asked.

"You would?" Edward was all ears.

"I'm going to put it over the breast pocket right here," Winry pointed, "it's going to be small and red."

"Aw, thanks Winry!" Edward gave her a big smile.

"Now, Ed, could you take me somewhere then?" Winry asked, smiling.

"Er, where?"

**-break-**

Edward knew, the moment he saw Michel sitting at one of the café tables, why Winry had asked _him_ to take her. She wanted to show off her automail.

"I'm not taking off my pants in the middle of downtown Central." Edward reminded her as they walked over to Michel.

"I don't even know who it is I'm looking for." Winry defended herself.

"I do, I've met him." Edward sighed.

"Edward! I didn't expect to see you here." Michel noticed him and waved. Edward and Winry waked over.

"Mike, this is Winry Rockbell, my mechanic, Winry, this is Michel Grevola." Edward did the introductions and sat down.

"It's _Grevalo._" Michel corrected Edward.

"Oops." Edward looked honestly sorry, because, he was.

"It's nice to meet you, I heard you were interested in automail." Winry shook Michel's hand.

"Yeah, I was wondering what it was like in the practice." Michel explained. "I mean I wanted to know what else was involved, besides the automail."

"Well there's the accounting. You've got to buy parts, tools, sometimes space." Winry explained. "Then when you have a new installee, you have to have your surgical tools, medications, and bandages and whatnot."

"Then you have your normal living expenses." Michel nodded. "That's really complicated, I never thought of that."

"There's also the installees themselves. You have to nurse them back to good health after surgery, do the therapy, and then maintenance. Not to mention you have to negotiate prices and sometimes special requests for them." Winry sighed. "Dealing with the customers can be the hardest part."

"People are different, no two are unique." Michel smiled.

"Well Edward can be a handful sometimes." Winry sighed. "The last part is the automail itself. You have to design, build, install, and maintain it."

"Oh wow." Michel nodded, knowing that part of the job was there, but he could tell by Winry's voice there were a lot of extensive topics under each one.

"Automail can be really tricky, especially on a growing person." Winry went on. "You have to replace it, and sometimes even the port. Port replacement is a nasty, ugly surgery, which is why most mechanics will refuse to install automail on people that aren't done growing."

"Huh." Edward mumbled, not having known that factoid.

"And you have to design custom for each installee on top of everything else." Michel nodded.

"Well you can reuse parts of designs, but yes, you have to design a new piece every time." Winry nodded.

"How do you know what kind of automail to give an installee?" Michel asked.

"Well, you interview the customer before surgery. First off, automail isn't for everyone- connecting the nerves make even the bravest grown men cry, and it takes years of therapy to get people back on their feet. They have to be tough people. And then you have to know their occupation and potential future careers they might pursue." Winry explained, moving her hands to emphasize points.

"So how did you know what Edward wanted?" Michel asked. Edward sat up in his chair, stiff.

"Ed, could you remove your coat? I want to show him." Winry asked. Edward sighed and took his coat and glove off, showing his automail arm to the world. Gently, Winry grabbed the arm and pulled it closer to herself and Michel. Michel maneuvered his chair to get even closer and Edward stayed stretched across the table.

Edward gave the passing waitress a weak smile and waved her on.

"Now Edward isn't the biggest person in the world," Winry was careful with how she phrased her words, "so to make automail that's the correct weight, it makes the work much harder. It also doesn't help that he does a lot of fighting, so he prefers something harder and heavier to slam into someone's face. It's basically a no-win situation that needs to be balanced perfectly. So I use 100-fold steel for his, because that's the strongest stuff per weight we've got."

"100-fold steel, wow. That's got to be expensive!" Michel knew that making 100 fold steel was difficult and time consuming.

"Oh no, I fold it myself." Winry explained with a smile. Michel's jaw dropped as he stared on in awe. "I leave a little extra steel in his top plate to make it sturdier when he punches, and also to give him a longer blade when he transmutes it without weakening his automail." Winry sighed at that.

"I've heard he did that, I never thought it'd affect your work." Michel remarked.

"Well, I'd rather he not fight, and I really don't like it when he transmutes my work." Winry admitted. "But he relies on me to give him the best, so I make it for him, not for me."

"Like a painting." Michel observed. "The artist makes it with heart and soul, but it never stays with them, it always goes to someone else."

"Precisely." Winry nodded. "I put these holes here to take off some weight but still keep the design robust. The inner frame is also 100 fold steel."

"Wow, how long does it take you to make his automail?" Michel asked.

"Three days." Edward answered. "She can do it in three days."

"You craft that much 100 fold steel in that time!?" Michel gasped.

"Yes, I usually smith it into the right shape the first time. I can guarantee the quality then, and it's even stronger that way." Winry smiled. "Now what Edward is neglecting to tell you is that I don't sleep those three nights and that I have all the parts on hand."

"Still, you can build me an arm in just three days." Edward reminded her. "I don't know of anyone else besides granny that can do that."

"Who's granny?" Michel asked.

"My grandmother, Pinako Rockbell, I learned the trade from her." Winry smiled.

"She grew up studying the trade and working on it." Edward added.

"You did the exact same thing with alchemy." Winry reminded Edward. "Well, you and Al didn't have a mentor most of the time, but you still studied it since you were little."

"Ah, I was wondering how someone my age could know the entire automail trade," Michel admitted, "but hearing that makes a lot of sense."

"So what got you interested in automail?" Winry asked.

"When I was younger I always wanted to be an alchemist. Go out and help people you know? But I don't have any talent for that sort of thing so I gave up. One of the good friends of family once told me that being an alchemist isn't what's important; it's helping and supporting others. He told me the people behind him were the most important ones. That's when I decided I'd try automail." Michel explained. "Because you can get people back on their feet again."

"Yup!" Winry smiled. "You've got the heart of a mechanic. I hope it works out for you."

"Me too!" Michel smiled.

"Are you two done?" Edward asked, reminding them he was still stretched over the table, coatless.

----------

Now you know a bit more about Michel! He's a good guy. Please tell me what you think, drop a review!


	31. Shopping with Mustang Part 1

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: Is anyone reading this?

Recap: We learned a great deal about Michel and the automail industry.

Other Stuff: Chapter 30, I have never written a story this long before. Don't worry, I'm going to finish it! But it's really kind of cool to know that I can keep a story going that long and not make it boring.

Previously:

_"Me too!" Michel smiled._

_"Are you two done?" Edward asked, reminding them he was still stretched over the table, coatless._

Chapter 30: Shopping with Mustang (Part 1)

**-Earlier, around 09:53, Headquarters-**

"Now that we've had this talk, can I go?" Edward asked in a huff.

"I'll have to go with you." Roy told Edward flatly. "You and I are going shopping."

"Look, I'm not changing how I dress because of some stupid social expectations!" Edward protested.

"Normally I wouldn't be persistent about this kind of thing, but Jaxith's going to be the one living with the consequences of your actions." Roy explained, standing up.

"Why would it matter? It's my problem how I dress!" Edward argued.

"Fullmetal, has it every occurred to you that things you do reflect on other people?" Roy asked, giving Edward a tired look. "Every time you topple a building my superiors hear about it. They think it's my fault."

"But you're not the one topping the buildings!" Edward protested.

"But your actions are my responsibility. If Havoc smokes in the office, it's my fault for not making him put it out. If Hayate bites a passerby, not that he would with Riza as his master, it's my fault because I allowed the animal to be on the premise. If Alphonse were to do something improper in these halls, I'd be at fault for giving him special permission to walk in and out of Headquarters freely." Roy explained. "I am the one in charge of my subordinates' behaviors. I'm supposed to order and discipline them."

"So every time I mess up, it's your fault?" Edward asked.

"Yes, because I'm not in control of the situation. Do you have any idea how hard that makes things for me?" Roy asked. "I have to convince my superiors not to have you severely reprimanded or removed from my command. I do fight to keep your paycheck as high as possible, but it hasn't been helping me and my career."

"I thought climbing the ranks was all you cared about…." Edward was slightly confounded.

"I do want to get promoted, don't get me wrong, but I've been sacrificing a lot of effort towards my next promotion to keep you and your brother unhindered." Roy explained. "I've made a lot of enemies in the ranks to keep you on track, Ed. I'd probably already be a Brigadier General by now if you hadn't stirred up so much trouble under my command."

"Why?" Edward asked.

"Hmm?" Roy looked at the boy and cocked his head.

"Why did you give that up for me?" Edward asked.

"Because you're a kid." Roy held up a hand to stop the rant before it started. "You're a kid that's been through hell, that grew up too fast, but you're still a kid. You still have some innocence in your life, and that needs to be protected."

"Since when did you become a father?" Edward glared, feeling as though he was being lectured.

"Since you entered my life." Roy sighed. "Edward, I'm not asking you to change your ways. I'm asking you to work with me so that Jaxith doesn't have to live with the consequences."

"What would happen to him?" Edward asked.

"Well. He'd probably be known for befriending the 'bad-mannered', 'barbaric', 'childish' sort of crowd. Which would make it hard for him to keep friends or make new ones. He'd be known for having poor taste in character. And if you do anything humiliating, they'll remember and laugh at Jaxith for it." Roy was somber looking. "This was the sort of thing that gave him trouble back home, but in a much higher amount."

"Oh. Well, I guess…I guess I'll go shopping then." Edward didn't want anyone to suffer needlessly.

"Good, let's go then." Roy smiled.

"Whoa, why are you coming?" Edward eyed Roy suspiciously.

"Because unlike you, I have a sense of style." Roy smirked.

"Bastard."

**-Break-**

"We're here." Roy announced to Edward and Alphonse. Alphonse had been picked up on the way to the car.

Roy stopped the car in front of a lime green shop. It had a cream colored trim and a large, flashy sign that read 'Kurt's Clothes'. The overall impression of the shop was 'tacky'. Edward grunted and looked into the storefront window. It had two mannequins by it, one wearing a nice men's suit, the other wearing an evening gown. Roy came up from behind Edward.

"Ah, Kurt. He's a bit crazy but he makes some of the best clothes in town." Roy smiled. "He's rather famous in the fashion world; you aren't anyone if you don't wear Kurt's work."

"Let me guess, this is where you buy your civvies."(1) Edward narrowed his eyes.

"This is where I buy my formal clothes. And a dance is a very formal occasion." Roy explained. "And don't worry, I'll be taking Jaxith here after school."

"Whatever." Edward walked into the shop, making the little bell above the door chime when he walked in. Alphonse and Roy quickly followed. The interior of the shop was pretty empty. There was a cash register and counter in one corner. In the other were a three way mirror and a little stool. The interior was cream with dark green trim and hard wood floors. There was a door, into what Edward presumed was the back of the shop. There was another door, this one open, that led into what appeared to be a spacious, white dressing room.

"Hello, hello!" A man squeaked, coming out of the closed door and into the shop proper. He was wearing a white dress shirt (of the finest quality) and tight navy blue pants (also of the finest quality). The man was rather obese, with a combed-over black hair and brown eyes. He wore a big smile and seemed to be full of energy.

"Roy! Do you need another setup?" The man asked quickly, looking excited.

"Actually Kurt, Edward here is in need of your services." Roy smiled, putting his hands on Edward's shoulders from behind.

"Ah! What's the occasion?" Kurt inquired. "Is it a first date?"

"What the hell?" Edward muttered. Alphonse edged a little closer to his brother so he could better hold him back.

"Sort of, first formal dance. He's going with a friend, and don't worry, I'm bringing him in this afternoon," Roy quickly added when he saw Kurt's face fall, "and I want them to look, I don't know…."

"Perfect?" Kurt prompted.

"Yes." Kurt smiled in response to Roy's answer.

"Well, Edward, I need you to come in back with me for a minute." Kurt beckoned the young alchemist. Edward was hesitant; something was telling him to not go into the back with this man. But when he got an encouraging shove from Roy, Edward stumbled forward and kept on walking. Soon he and Kurt stood in the back room.

The back room was white in color. There were several smocks of different colors and materials all over the walls. On the floor, folded up nicely, were several different pairs of pants. Edward also noticed a few skirts on the side. In the center of the room was a simple wooden stool. There was another door in the back of this room, which led to, what Edward correctly assumed, was the work room. Kurt invited Edward to sit on the stool.

"I'm going to ask you some questions while I take your measurements." Kurt announced. "Have you had your measurements taken before?"

"Yes." Edward answered.

"Oh, could you take off those coats and gloves?" Kurt asked. "Actually if you got down to your boxers that'd be best."

"…Okay." Edward sighed. This was no different than getting your automail fitted. Quickly Edward dumped the majority of his clothes on the floor.

"Automail? Oh my." Kurt muttered. "That's going to change some things."

"What do you mean?" Edward raised an eyebrow.

"Not all cloth gets along well with automail." Kurt started to measure Edward's arm lengths, making notes on a little pink pad. "How old are you Edward?"

"I'm sixteen." Edward answered, bracing himself for the short comment.

"You look very youthful for sixteen!" Kurt exclaimed. "I thought you were younger." Edward raised an eyebrow at the man.

"So you're sixteen? What school are you attending?" Kurt asked.

"I don't go to school. I'm a State Alchemist." Edward answered.

"Well, you'll need to look up to military speck then!" Kurt squealed. "How'd you get invited to this dance?"

"My friend didn't want to go alone. He can't dance, so he couldn't ask a girl." Edward explained.

"You're a nice friend to accept that." Kurt remarked. "What is your favorite color?"

"Maybe red." Edward answered after a while.

"Hmm. Could you stand?" Kurt requested. When Edward obliged, Kurt set about measuring Edward's legs. "Do you expect to be doing any dancing?"

"I might." Edward shrugged. "I'm pretty good at it."

"With a body like yours, I would hope so." Kurt winked, making Edward slightly uncomfortable. "Now let's see…." Kurt began to grab smocks, putting them up against Edward, frowning, and then tossing them to the side. After about twenty minutes of this, Kurt stopped when he found a dark blue silk smock.

"Put this on." Kurt handed it to Edward and turned around to look for something else. He rummaged through another pile, throwing clothes this way and that, finally pulling out a cream jumper. Quickly Kurt walked over to Edward, tossed him the jumper then ran about the pants, making an even bigger mess. Another minute and Kurt produced a pair of brown slacks.

"Umm?" Edward was standing in the room awkwardly wearing a smock with a jumper over it. Kurt held up the pants to Edward's legs then nodded.

"Come back in three hours, your clothes will be done." Kurt told him, handing Edward his normal clothes. Without any more words, Kurt walked into the work room and shut the door. Edward blinked twice, and then put on his normal clothes.

"Isn't Kurt great?" Roy asked when Edward exited the back room.

"Sure." Edward was sarcastic. "He said to be back in three hours."

"Ah, quick as always. Well, let's go shopping then!" Roy smiled, grabbed Alphonse's hand and rushed out of the store.

"He just walked off with my hand!" Alphonse gasped, his hand having come off entirely.

"Let's stop him before he does something regretful." Edward told Alphonse as he ran out the door after the madman with Al's hand in possession.

"I'm coming!" Alphonse cried.

About fifteen minutes later Edward heard the most unnatural noise. It was the sound of slightly insane laughter, perhaps better phrased as a cackle, leaking out of Roy Mustang. The man was standing in front of a 'sale' sign, looking very pleased with himself. Edward approached wearily, not sure how to deal with this side of his commanding officer.

"There's a sale!" Roy announced when Edward and Alphonse were in range.

"Umm, could I have my hand back?" Alphonse asked.

"It's a freaking tool shop…." Edward observed dully.

"Ah'm goinna git me a bargin!" Roy announced in a Western accent and marched right on into the store.

"He did _not_ just do that." Edward stared, unsure whether or not he should run away.

"Oh, that's right, according to Miss Hawkeye the Colonel is a real bargain getter." Alphonse remembered.

"I wonder if it's a West thing…." Edward wondered, recalling the accent all too well.

"Apparently it's a big-family thing that the West went overboard with." Alphonse answered.

"Still, _tools_. Why would he need them?" Edward asked. Moments later Roy returned with Alphonse's hand under one arm and a tool kit under the other. He paused and took a deep breath after exiting the shop.

"Here, Alphonse." Roy handed Alphonse his hand. It was quickly put back on. "And _this_, is for you." Roy handed Edward the tool kit.

"What is this for?" Edward asked, irritated.

"It's an automail kit for your dorm." Roy explained. "It's designed for people with permanent residences, so it's better equipped than your travel kit. But it isn't designed to be simply lugged around, is that clear?"

"How insanely thoughtful of you." Edward's voice was full of sarcasm. "I'm going to go back to my dorm for the next three hours."

"Why is that?" Roy asked, somewhat innocently.

"Your method of shopping scares us." Alphonse admitted.

"Oh."

**-Three hours of shopping later-**

"How did we get conned into doing that?" Edward asked, moaning.

"He had… _puppy eyes_…." Alphonse was dazed himself.

"Well here we are, it's time to see what Kurt made." Roy smiled and opened the door.

"Being in here is the most normal part of the trip…." Edward mumbled.

"Ah! Right on time!" Kurt smiled when they walked into the shop. "Edward- that _is_ your name, right? Come on in here." Kurt was standing just outside the dressing room. Edward sighed and walked into the dressing room.

"Now I want you to put this blindfold on." Kurt held it up. "So you can have the full effect when I take it off."

"Sure." Edward rolled his eyes, took off his normal clothes, and put on the blindfold.

"Hold your arms out, thank you!" Kurt pulled the silk over Edward's upper body, reminding him of flowing water gently touching his skin. Edward shivered, enjoying the feeling of the smooth material against his skin. He felt Kurt button up the front then adjust the collar a bit.

"You're going to have to wear suspenders with these pants." Kurt explained. "So I'm throwing in a pair, free of charge." Kurt handed the pants to Edward. Carefully, Edward stepped into his pants and pulled them up. He then felt Kurt tuck in his shirt and then put the suspenders on. After a few small adjustments to the suspenders, Edward felt a hand on his shoulder.

"That feel comfortable?" Kurt asked.

"Yes." Edward answered truthfully. Nothing was bothering him.

"Good, arms back please. Thank you." Kurt pulled on what Edward thought might be a vest. He felt Kurt buttoning something up. Then after a few seconds of nothing he heard a clink. The clink of Edward's state watch.

"What are you doing-!?" Edward was cut off when he felt Kurt put the watch into a breast pocket and hook the chain onto one of the buttons.

"Just finishing the look." Kurt assured him. "Arms down."

Edward felt himself get turned by Kurt's hands. Then, without any warning, Kurt pulled the blindfold off Ed's eyes. There he was, staring at a stranger in the mirror. The dark blue shirt made Edward's eyes shimmer. The cream vest made a good transition between the brown pants and the shirt. Edward looked older, more mature in this outfit.

"Leather black dress shoes complete the look, I trust you to find a good pair." Kurt gave him a pat on the back. "And the braid has got to go." Kurt pulled out Edward's braid, and then pulled his hair into a high ponytail. Edward was amazed.

"There, now, shall we?" Kurt reached over to the door to open it. Edward nodded dumbly and Kurt opened it. Slowly, Edward walked into the room, feeling older, more knowledgeable. Alphonse gasped when he saw his brother, amazed by how mature and cool Edward looked. Roy's eyes widened as well, shocked and amazed.

"Get yourself some cream gloves to match the vest." Kurt added. "Or you can go without."

"I think I'll get some gloves, my right hand tends to get cold." Edward remarked absently.

"They say the suit makes the man." Roy chuckled. "Now, aren't you glad we came?"

"I don't mind the clothes." Edward admitted. "But I am _never_ shopping with you again."

"Alright, alright." Roy put his hands up in the air. "I will never take you shopping again."

"So how much is it?" Edward asked.

"Ah yes, this is my least favorite part." Kurt explained, sighed. "The costumers always stop being happy right about now…."

--------------

Which means that Kurt charges high!

1- Civvies, military slang for 'civilian clothes'.

What do you think? Roy's penny pinching? Edward's suit going straight to his head? Or Roy running off with Al's hand? Let me know!


	32. Shopping with Mustang Part 2

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: Do not sue the penniless college student.

Recap: Roy likes to 'git 'imself a bargin!'.

Other Stuff: Here, my dear readers, is the second installment of the Mustang Shopping Experience.

Previously:

_"So how much is it?" Edward asked._

_"Ah yes, this is my least favorite part." Kurt explained, sighed. "The costumers always stop being happy right about now…."_

corette- Thank you for the criticism, I have taken it to heart. I am going to finish this arc then we'll be seeing more of the cast from the show and less of the OCs, except Jaxith. And I don't mind your opinion as to why people read fanfiction, but here's why I write and read it myself: to experiment and improve my writing by getting feedback. I read other's stories with that in mind myself. I thank you for your feedback, it really helps me. I also thank you for not flaming me; those tend to be a rather pointless waste of time. As for your concerns about Jaxith, you'll be finding out the real depth of who he really is in the next few chapters. He's got strengths and weaknesses just like everyone else, you'll see. And thank you for reviewing!

Chapter 31: Shopping with Mustang (Part 2)

Jaxith was leaning against the side of the school building, exhausted. It seemed everywhere he went there was some girl asking him to the dance. He opened his sketch book and looked over the pictures that had accumulated in it since his arrival in Central. There were a lot of pictures of Edward doing various things, running, talking (to Alphonse), and sleeping being especially common. Jaxith smiled; he really liked Edward the person, _really_ liked. Edward had been his first real friend in a long, long time. Jaxith flipped to a new page and began to sketch.

"Is that your girlfriend?" Someone from behind asked him, startling the boy. Jaxith looked up from his half-formed sketch of Edward to look at some random girl from the halls.

"No, he's just a friend of mine that looks kind of feminine." Jaxith explained, blushing in slight embarrassment.

"I hear you've been rejecting girls all day." The girl said. "So why is that?"

"I don't want to play favorites." Jaxith answered, remembering his great-uncle's dating tips. "So I'm going to the dance with a friend. That way I can dance with all the girls!"

"Smart." The girl laughed. "Can I call first dance then?"

"I'm sticking to first come, first serve." Jaxith told her. She laughed again.

"See you there then, Jax!" She called over her shoulder and left.

"I still can't get any peace from them." Jaxith sighed. He went back to sketching while he waited to be picked up from school. To his surprise his great-uncle was the driver today.

"Git in, we've got some shoppin' to do." Roy had a slight accent in his voice. Jaxith knew this to be a sign of his great-uncle channeling his Western roots. Jaxith didn't mind, he did the same thing himself.

"What kind of shopping?" Jaxith asked, excited himself.

"Clothes for the dance, then anything else we might need." Roy smile and drove the car off to Kurt's shop.

"Uncle Roy, you're not going to force Edward into anything are you?" Jaxith asked. "Because I don't want him to be uncomfortable."

"Jaxith, is that what you want?" Roy asked.

"What do you mean?" Jaxith was confused.

"Is that the kind of thing your parents expected you to do, or what you wanted to do?" Roy asked again, being clearer this time. "I'm not going to make judgments on how you want to act, you can be as rude as Edward is and I won't care."

"But being rude is improper!" Jaxith protested.

"But is that what you, Jaxith, really want to be?" Roy questioned. "I'm not saying that being polite is bad, but being rude is equally important. Deciding when to be one or the other is what makes us who we are."

"I'm…." Jaxith was unsure what to say.

"Well, I did bully Fullmetal into buying himself some nice clothes. He needed a set anyways." Roy chuckled. "But you shouldn't feel guilty about that, it was my choice and not yours."

"…I don't like it when people make choices about me, for me." Jaxith announced.

"Ah, well then, next time I'll let you try to convince me otherwise." Roy sounded amused and excited. "Here we are."

"Kurt!" Jaxith gasped, recognizing the name from his mother's clothes. "He's the guy that makes all of ma's performance clothes!"

"And he's the guy that makes me suits and now yours." Roy smiled, leading his nephew inside. Kurt was sitting at his counter, looking eager.

"So this is the other one? He looks an awful lot like you." Kurt commented.

"This here's Jaxith, my nephew." Roy smiled and gave the boy a light shove. "Go on, he'll fit you up." Jaxith strode forward and followed Kurt into the back room. There Kurt began measuring after Jaxith, with much embarrassment, took off the majority of his clothes..

"What school do you attend?" Kurt asked.

"The Flamel Academy, sir." Jaxith answered.

"Ah, will you be dancing?" Kurt asked.

"Yes, but I'm really bad at it…." Jaxith sighed, knowing that he would have to dance with the girls at the dance to make them happy.

"Well, I'll make the seams extra tough then." Kurt smiled in an assuring way. "Most girls like an awkward dancer since it gives them an excuse to be closer."

"I see…." Jaxith wasn't sure how he felt about that.

"What's your favorite color?" Kurt asked.

"Umm…. Gray." Jaxith said after a while. "Because with gray, you can change the lightness and saturation of any color."

"An artist, are you?" Kurt smiled again.

"Yes."

"Good, I know exactly what you need then." Kurt clapped his hands together. "But first we need the rest of the measurements."

"Of course." Jaxith nodded.

"Are you planning to be the lady-killer your uncle is?" Kurt inquired.

"I don't know, I kind of want to try it." Jaxith remarked honestly. "He's been giving me a lot of tips…."

"I wonder where he got all that experience from." Kurt remarked after a while. "It's almost unnatural how good he is."

"Oh, he has eight older sisters." Jaxith explained. Kurt paused and stared. "He's from the West."

"Hmm. I had no idea. But that makes sense." Kurt nodded. "Stay there." Kurt dashed off into this workroom. He returned holding a piece of red fabric in his hands. He held it up and nodded, then dashed into the back and picked up some black and white pinstriped cloth.

"Yes, yes…." Kurt nodded. He sorted through the pairs of pants and held up one against Jaxith's legs.

"Come back in four hours." Kurt told him and retreated into his work room.

"He said to come back in four hours." Jaxith answered his great-uncle's questioning gaze. Roy nodded and the two left the shop. Upon stepping out onto the street, Jaxith and Roy saw a 'sale' sign across the street.

"Shall we?" Roy asked. Jaxith was already across the street and walking into the store. Roy chuckled then jogged to catch up with his great-nephew.

Within moments it became a competition to see who could get the better deals. This involved a lot of running on the parts of both, but there was laughter all the while. At one point the two ran by the café where Edward, Winry, and Michel were currently sitting.

"Yahoo!" Jaxith yelled as he ran by, his Western accent heavy. Roy was right at the boy's heels with a dumb smile on his face.

"I wish Hughes was still around for this…." Edward sighed in the newfound silence that had befallen the group. He was the only one not disturbed by that sight.

"W-why?" Winry asked, unsure whether or not she wanted to hear the answer.

"Because Hughes would take a picture of that, then I'd have blackmail." Edward looked smug.

"You are on a one-track mind when it comes to Mustang." Winry gave her childhood friend a flat look.

"What do you suppose they are doing?" Michel asked.

"Shopping." Edward answered. "Just shopping."

**-Four hours of running around scaring bystanders later-**

"I haven't done that in ages!" Roy was holding his sides, he was laughing so hard.

"Next time I'm going to beat you!" Jaxith was deadly serious.

"Of course you are." Roy took a few breaths to get his laughter under control.

"Here we are." Jaxith stood in front of the door to Kurt's. He took a deep breath and opened it up.

Kurt was standing in the entry room with a huge grin. He beckoned Jaxith into the changing room. Quickly the young Skibbereen followed, stepping into the threshold of the white room.

"Undress and put this blindfold on." Kurt handed it to him.

"Is there a reason?" Jaxith eyed the man suspiciously.

"It dampens the effect if you see it before it's all together." Kurt explained.

"Ah! Okay." Jaxith nodded and did as instructed. Kurt helped him put on a shirt, step into some pants, and adjust the suspenders. After that the vest was put on, Kurt's nimble fingers buttoning it up. Jaxith was gently directed at a mirror, and with an elegant swoosh, the blindfold came off.

Jaxith gasped, seeing a stranger in the mirror.

He was wearing a red silk shirt that had been woven for extra texture. On the front was a black vest with white pinstripes. His pants were a dark gray, differing enough from the vest to not be the same color, but not looking strange either.

"Look at the back." Kurt insisted. Jaxith spun around to see the back of the vest had a red Xingese silk with a gold pattern on it of cranes and leaves. The red of his shirt and the red of the vest were very nice together.

"Oh wow." Jaxith just stared. "I need white dress shoes."

"Yes, yes you do." Kurt agreed. "And gloves. I have a matching fedora if you like."

"Very much." Jaxith nodded. "I look like I could be in the Jazz band."

"Well, can you play a trumpet?" Kurt jokingly asked.

"Nah, I play violin, and I sing sometimes." Jaxith answered, now wearing a cocky grin to match his clothes.

"Let's show your uncle, now." Kurt grinned. Both walked out into the room. Roy blinked a few times, caught off guard.

"You aren't going to have any issues getting girls to dance with you if you're going to wear that." Roy remarked after a while. Kurt popped the fedora on Jaxith's head. "I stand corrected; you're going to have issues getting _off_ the dance floor in that."

"I like it!" Jaxith's eyes sparkled with excitement.

"Well now it's time to discuss the price…." Kurt sighed.

"It's the usual fare right?" Roy asked, receiving a nod in response.

"An extra two thirty for the hat." Kurt told Roy. "He needs white gloves and shoes." Quickly the money was exchanged while Jaxith changed back into his normal clothes.

"Now the only thing you have to worry about is dancing." Roy smiled as they left the shop.

"…." Jaxith suddenly looked very gloomy.

"I'll have Fullmetal give you some pointers." Roy answered. "If there's anyone who could teach you how to dance, it's him."

"Why?" Jaxith was curious.

"Because as stubborn as he is, Edward is a good teacher." Roy turned the car on and drove it back to Headquarters.

"What did Edward's clothes look like?" Jaxith asked a question that had been nagging him for some time.

"You'll have to see that yourself." Roy teased. Jaxith glared and stuck his tongue out childishly.

"Why are we going to Headquarters?" Jaxith asked.

"I still have some paperwork to do." Roy admitted, embarrassed. "And I have to get fitted for my new uniform."

"Oh that's right, you're getting promoted." Jaxith nodded.

**-Break-**

Jaxith was peacefully sketching in his great-uncle's office. The other officers in the room had been engaged in a game of cards, with the exception of Fuery and Hawkeye who were out running errands. Havoc looked over his cards to study Jaxith.

"Hey. What're you drawing?" Havoc called, pausing the card game for a moment.

"Things." Jaxith answered, vague.

"Aww, come on! Tell us!" Breda had an encouraging smile.

"It doesn't matter." Jaxith retorted.

"Come on! It's just a drawing!" Havoc pushed again.

"I'd rather you try be reasonable." Falman reminded the boy with a frown.

"Why do y'all care anyhow?" Jaxith glared at all of them.

"Well the fact you won't show us makes us even more curious." Havoc huffed.

"We just want to know, is all." Breda explained.

"Well you can be curious for the rest of your lives then!" Jaxith snapped.

"Jaxith?" Roy raised his eyebrows up as he entered the room. Jaxith just held a steady, stubborn gaze with his uncle then went back to his drawing. Roy looked to his subordinates and pointed at Jaxith with as '_what happened there_' expression on his face.

They mouthed back '_we don't know_'.

"Are you alright?" Roy asked.

"Yes." Jaxith spat acidly.

"You don't sound or look it." Roy observed.

"I just want to be left alone." Jaxith explained gruffly, pulling his drawing closer to his chest to protect it from his great-uncle. "Why are you so concerned?"

"Well, it's just that you've never acted like this-" Roy was cut off.

**"**_You're_ the one that told me to be more like myself! And the moment I do everyone thinks less of me!" Jaxith yelled, jumping to his feet. "You are a _fucking_ hypocrite!" Jaxith ran past is great-uncle and out the door.

"Jaxith-!" Roy called after the boy, only to watch him smash into Fuery, drop his sketchbook, then go on running. Fuery blinked a few times and picked up the sketchbook.

"Did something happen?" Fuery asked. Roy slumped down into a nearby chair and held his head in his hands.

"I'm a fool." Roy answered.

--------------

A new side of Jaxith! This is the real him unburied years of torment, training, and manners. So what kind of fool is Roy? The kind for letting Jaxith's darker side lose, or the kind for being a hypocrite? Drop a review and find out more next time!


	33. What Lies Beneath

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: Anyone reading this?

Recap: Jaxith shows a darker side, then blots.

Other Stuff: Sorry for the late update, I've been sick, busy with school, and dealing with some pretty damn sucky domestic issues. Thankfully midterms are over, so school will be better. And I am getting over my bug, so that should go away too. The domestic issues, well those aren't going to be going away anytime soon, but they've been here for some time, so that's nothing I'm not already used to.

**Important notice:** I'm being kind of lazy about creating OCs, so anyone want a shameless insert for one of the dances? Let me know in a review. See bottom note for more details.

Previously:

_"Did something happen?" Fuery asked. Roy slumped down into a nearby chair and held his head in his hands._

_"I'm a fool." Roy answered._

Chapter 32: What Lies Beneath

The office of Colonel Roy Mustang was deadly silent when Hawkeye entered. She frowned and said nothing as she studied the room. Roy was sitting at Breda's desk, eyes suspiciously bright and expression showing inner turmoil. Fuery was sitting at his desk leafing through what appeared to be one of Jaxith's sketchbooks. The others were sitting around Havoc's desk, a neglected card game before them.

"Where is Jaxith?" Hawkeye asked, not liking the looks of the situation. Roy only flinched and let out a tiny whine.

"It's all my fault…." Roy whispered into the silent room, being clearly heard.

"You don't know?" Hawkeye demanded. Roy shook his head. "Where did you last see him?"

"Running out the office door, he took a left and went down the hall." Fuery answered, not seeing to be affected by the dreadful atmosphere of the room. His eyes narrowed as he examined the pictures.

"Havoc! Breda! Falman! Get off your asses and go find Jaxith, now!" Hawkeye yelled at the men, using her commanding tone. All snapped to their feet, saluting.

"Sir!" And they were out the door.

"You'll be explaining to me what happened in your office." Hawkeye told Roy. "Immediately." He got up and made his way to the office, everything about his posture defeated.

"Let me know when you're done analyzing that Fuery." Hawkeye reminded her comrade. Fuery gave a curt nod.

Once alone in the room Fuery flipped another page of the book. Another picture of Edward. So far there had been two pictures that didn't include Edward, a sketch of Roy fresh out of the shower and a rather crude-looking doodle of some lady that had a bit of white chalk on the paper.(1) Fuery flipped the page. There was a picture of Edward jerking off, drawn from what Fuery hoped was from memory.

_He's obsessed with Edward._ Fuery observed. Suddenly the Master Sergeant sat up in his chair, stunned by the realization he reached in the following thought.

**-With Jaxith-**

Jaxith's feet had carried him up to the roof of Headquarters. There was no-one else up here, which was perfect because he wanted to be left alone. Carefully Jaxith selected a secluded spot where he would not be easily visible if he sat down. On the roof were two entrances, a few cannons, some ammunition for them, as well as a couple of boxes. Jaxith climbed over the boxes and sat down behind them. He was out of sight from anyone on the roof, unless they were on the boxes. From where Jaxith sat he could see most of the front of Headquarters and Central stretched out below him. Part of him wanted to paint a picture of this.

Part of him did not.

Jaxith sighed, depressed and upset. He felt angry, sad, and curious all at the same time. Curious because this was something new. Angry at past hurts and the world. Sad that no one understood that this was the real him. The true self he'd been hiding from the world to meet the expectations from his parents.

_Why doesn't anyone understand?_ Jaxith wondered.

"-I _know _that, Pride!" A voice from the far entrance complained loudly. Jaxith's hair on the back of his neck stood up and he froze. His instincts were telling him there was something terrible, something wrong about that voice.

"Then that's precisely why we can't make a move right now." Another voice explained, it was rough and indifferent. Jaxith recognized it as the Fuhrer.

"Look Pride, I want that brat with _**His**_blood to suffer! Is it too much to understand!?" The unknown voice whined.

"I just want to be human, Envy." The Fuhrer told his companion.

_The Fuhrer's…He's not human?_ Jaxith's world tilted off axis.

"I don't care what you want!" The voice, Envy, hissed.

"Wait. Did you hear a noise?" The Fuhrer asked, Jaxith had heard nothing.

"You're giving me a personal lecture of some kind." There was the sound of alchemy.

"You understand what I mean by slandering Lieutenant?" The Fuhrer asked loudly.

"-Oh!" The voice of Jean Havoc gasped as he walked in on the scene. "Am I interrupting something?"

"Nothing too important." The Fuhrer assured Havoc. "What brings you up here?"

"I'm looking for Jaxith, Colonel Mustang's nephew. He went missing recently." Havoc explained.

"There isn't anyone on the roof, I checked already." The Fuhrer didn't give room for argument.

"Thank you, sir! I apologize for the interruption." There were quickly leaving footsteps.

"…We didn't check for Mustang's brat." Envy stated.

"I don't hear any human breathing up here, do you?" The Fuhrer countered. "That's enough of a search for me."

"Huh, I don't either. I suppose you're right…." Envy trailed off.

It was around then that Jaxith realized he'd been holding his breath and still was.

"Stick with the plan, Envy." The Fuhrer warned and Jaxith heard him walk away.

Envy didn't say anything or make any noise. Jaxith remained curled up in a ball looking out at Central, tears from all the emotions in him welling up in his eyes. Jaxith took a loud, shuddering breath and submitted to his tears.

"What's this here?" Envy asked. Jaxith flinched and looked up, tears continuing to fall.

Envy was a blond soldier with a buzz hair cut, green eyes and he was a Second Lieutenant if the shoulder bars were any indication. Jaxith shivered and scooted away from him, out of fear.

"What are you doing up here kid?" Envy asked.

"…be alone…." Jaxith muttered.

"What's that?" Envy cupped his hand to his ear to try and hear better.

"I wanted to be alone." Jaxith sobbed.

"Did you hear the Fuhrer chewing me out?" Envy asked. Jaxith shook his head. "Well kid, people are looking for you, you might want to come down soon. That's all I've gotta say."

_The brat must have been too busy wallowing in his self pity to hear us…._ Envy assumed and began to walk away. Jaxith remained there for several minutes, waiting for his heart rate to calm down. He didn't know what he had just encountered, but it wasn't within his power to fight it.

Of that much, despite the confusion of emotions, Jaxith was certain.

**-With Edward, Winry, and Michel-**

After the automail lecture, Michel asked Edward if he knew any good places to buy clothes. To which Edward answered the one shop he knew: Kurt's. Michel then promptly gave him a look like he was insane and asked Winry if she knew any. Winry answered that she knew people who would, which led the group to Gracia's house.

Winry knocked on the door to be let in. Gracia answered with a big smile.

"Who's the new face?" She asked.

"This is Michel Gervalo, Mrs. Hughes." Edward explained. "Mike, this is Gracia Hughes, a friend of mine."

"Am I?" Michel blinked, a little confused. Gracia laughed.

"Edward tends to do that to people, what brings you here?" Gracia asked kindly.

"Mike wants to go clothes shopping. For a dance." Winry explained.

"Oh!" Gracia paused thinking. "I'd have to say to ask Roy, he'd know where men could by formal clothes. Maes always went shopping with him…."

"Ah, thank you Mrs. Hughes." Winry bowed. Edward and Michel followed with a bow and the three took leave of the Hughes residence and headed toward Headquarters.

**-Break-**

Roy's command was standing around Roy's office waiting on what Fuery had to say. After a failed attempt to find Jaxith, it was decided to regroup and wait for further instruction. Fuery announced when they had returned to the office that he wanted to share something with them. That is how they got to where they now stood.

"I think I've figured out the problem." Fuery began after a while. "Jaxith likes boys."

"Who doesn't? I like my male friends." Havoc didn't understand what Fuery meant.

"No, I mean _like_ like." Fuery clarified.

"As in, want to get romantically involved with?" Breda asked, stunned.

"Yes, that." Fuery nodded.

"So you think Jaxith is… homosexual." Havoc said after a while. Everyone turned and looked at Roy. Roy was looking into space, thinking.

"It explains a lot." He said after a while. "They try to beat that out of people out West."

"So you're saying that-?" Hawkeye cut herself off when Roy nodded gravely.

"They were just trying to make him 'manly'." Roy sighed. "I'm sure his parents are aware of it."

"But why would Atticus allow for that?" Falman asked.

"Atticus didn't. He would have beat Jaxith himself if he thought it'd help. No, Atticus is too well traveled to do that. He knows Jaxith has a place in the world. Mary Sue probably wouldn't beat him herself, but doesn't mean she wouldn't get other people to do it for it." Roy ran his hand through his hair. "Which explains why didn't have any friends back home."

"Damn." Havoc muttered.

"What are we going to do about it?" Hawkeye asked.

"We'll tell him there's nothing wrong with that." Fuery answered with a smile.

"…Do you _like_ like boys too?" Havoc asked Fuery, who then blushed.

"S-something like that." Fuery admitted.

"I'm amazed you haven't hit on me yet." Roy blinked.

"Um, because you're completely straight, sir?" Fuery remarked back. "No guy who's bi is going to be hauling just woman into his bed every other night consistently for months."

"You have me there." Roy put his hands up in surrender.

"How'd you know?" Falman asked, curious. Fuery simply showed them the picture of Edward jacking off.

"Oh." Was the general consensus.

"Wait, does the chief _like_ like boys?" Havoc asked.

"What about me liking boys?" Edward asked as he stepped into the office.

"You're gay?" Michel asked Edward, a little stunned.

"What are you talking about?" Edward asked Michel, unfamiliar with the term.

"Why are you holding up a picture of Edward, naked?" Winry asked Fuery.

And in comes the awkward silence!

"Jaxith drew it!" Fuery squeaked, shutting the sketchbook quickly.

"Wait, _Jaxith's_ gay?" Michel now looked extremely confused.

"What the heck does 'gay' mean?" Edward asked, confused himself.

"Why would Jaxith draw that!?" Winry gasped, appalled.

Somehow looking at the three flustered teens tickled Roy's funny bone. He burst out laughing.

"This isn't funny, Colonel Shit!" Edward roared.

**Bang!** Hawkeye shot the ceiling, silencing the room again.

"'Gay' is a slang term for someone who is homosexual, as in they are romantically attracted to the same gender. We have recently determined that Jaxith is homosexual and is attracted to you." Hawkeye explained while looking at Edward.

"…Wait, what?" Edward blinked.

"She's just saying that Jaxith wants to get in your pants and screw you senseless." Breda translated roughly. Edward blushed.

"Uh…No, thank you." Edward answered.

"Do you like boys that way, Ed?" Winry asked, curious.

"Do you think I have time to contemplate that!?" Edward snapped at Winry.

"Are you two dating?" Michel asked them.

_**"NO!!"**_ He roared back at him.

"Sorry?" Michel said meekly.

"Why are you holding my sketchbook?" Jaxith asked, silencing the room with his presence.

--------------

Now what are they going to tell him?

1- This is a doodle of Mrs. Celt that Jaxith drew in front of her, earning himself and the drawing a bit of chalk to the head.

**Concerning those that are interested in the self-inserts here is more information:**

0- If you feel up to it, you could submit a female and male character for insert.

1- Could you please provide a physical description of the person? (Please keep the hair natural colors)

2- Could you please provide a mood that they are at the beginning of the interaction? (Examples: homesick, depressed, horny, etc.)

3- Could you please provide a disposition for your person? (Examples: happy, sad, out to kill the male race, etc.)

4- Could you please provide a quote you want the person to say? (Example: "I think that guy's hair looks like a palm tree!")

5- Remember that if you tell me anything that's 1910s era, I will either edit to fit the 1910s, or not include you at all.

6- Keep in mind your insert may be something mentioned in passing while there is a lull in the dancing. (Example: "I just finished dancing with this weird girl that kept on talking about bottle caps and skiing." or "Jaxith, did that red-haired girl bother you any? She seemed to have her hands on your butt the entire dance!")

7- I will insert at least one of your characters!

8- Your character may be given a costume and thrown into the Hallow's Eve Dance.

What I am using these inserts for is to gain more material for the dances. I have established these conditions so that I can be as creative as possible. I will PM you if your setup is unusable, so you can expect your insert to appear, no matter what in the chapter following this one. If for some reason you are missed, I will make sure you appear at the Hallow's Eve Dance.

Thank y'all,

Bar-Ohki


	34. Painting a New SelfPortrait

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: Insert some good reason not to sue me here.

Recap: After the homunculi make an appearance, our faithful soldiers discover Jaxith's crush on Edward.

Other Stuff: I'm still feeling a bit icky. In good news I did well on my midterms. I've also been really excited about all the positive feedback I've been getting. Now we get to see what becomes of the scenario I left them in. Rules for the (self?) inserts have been re-posted at the end of this chapter. This is your last opportunity to hand them in.

Previously:

_"Sorry?" Michel sounded meek._

_"Why are you holding my sketchbook?" Jaxith asked, silencing the room with his presence._

Chapter 33: Painting a New Self-Portrait and Liking It

"Jaxith, I would like to speak to you alone." Roy announced after a long, tense silence. Quickly the other soldiers scuffled out into the main office, the sketchbook being left in Roy's hands. Jaxith rolled his eyes and walked into the back office, looking annoyed and bored. Both Edward and Michel frowned at this new behavior.

"Where is Alphonse?" Hawkeye asked, finding it strange that the younger Elric was missing.

"He went out for some alone time while Winry dragged me her errands." Edward answered dryly.

"Edward, you don't actually like boys, do you?" Winry asked him, her gaze cast downward. Edward didn't answer right away but he felt the gaze of everyone else in the room on him.

"It doesn't matter. I don't have the time for romance." Edward answered.

"You don't know then." Michel observed.

"I have other things in my life that are a lot more important!" Edward snapped.

"Like what?" Michel asked, glaring. "Because right now you're showing stunning emotional growth."

"Are you calling me 'small'?" Edward looked like he was about to slam his fist into Michel's face.

**-In Roy's Office-**

"Jaxith. I had a look at what's in here." Roy began throwing it open to the page with a naked picture of Edward.

"You have no right to be leafing through my things like they were newspapers." Jaxith growled.

"Why did you draw this?" Roy asked, sticking an accusing finger on the drawing.

"Because I liked the challenge of drawing a person without clothes on." Jaxith answered truthfully. "And Edward's scars are difficult."

"Why did you draw him pleasing himself?" Roy asked again, sounding completely serious.

"It was the only time I've seen him remotely close to naked?" To Jaxith the answer was obvious.

"Does he know you drew this?" Roy asked.

"Unless you showed it to him." Jaxith gave Roy a _'and you better not have'_ look.

"Jaxith, do you realize that this is a very… _personal_ picture you've drawn?" Roy met Jaxith's eyes. When no answer was given, Roy chose to continue. "You should ask permission from the subject before you draw something like this again."

"Is that all?" Jaxith wanted to leave.

"You've drawn a lot of pictures of Edward in here." Roy commented casually. "It comes off as obsessive."

"He's a very difficult subject to draw." Jaxith answered defensively.

"And Alphonse's armor is not?" Roy argued. Jaxith didn't respond. "Looking at these makes me think you're interested in a romantic relationship with Edward."

"**I'm **_**not!**_" Jaxith yelled, his face flushing red. "That's an unnatural, disgusting thing to propose!"

"Master Sergeant Kain Fuery dates men." Roy remarked casually, catching Jaxith off-guard. "No one thinks him less of a person, nor do they worry about it."

"But ma said-" Jaxith protested.

"This isn't about what your mother thinks. This is about what _you_ think, and much more importantly, _feel_." Roy leaned forward. "It is perfectly fine and acceptable for you to like boys."

"Do you like other men?" Jaxith asked, curious.

"I tried dating other men when I was younger," Roy admitted, blushing slightly, "but that's not how I swing."

"So the fact that I like Edward…it…it isn't bad?" Jaxith asked.

"The concept itself is not bad, but I doubt Edward would be a good choice of a first date." Roy rubbed his temples. "Edward has a lot of baggage and troubles of his own. He doesn't need romance added to the mix to complicate his life."

"But-" Jaxith protested again.

"It's entirely possible that Edward is only interested in girls." Roy reminded Jaxith. "It's a risk you take when dating people of the same gender, someone you are interested in could very well not be interested in you as anything less than just a friend."

"…I see." Jaxith was quiet again, depressed.

"I'm not going to discourage you from dating and learning about romance, I just don't think Edward's a good person to start off with. But if you really want to pursue him, I'm not going to stand in your way." Roy decided that making his opinions very clear was the best thing to do at this point. "Though, I would like to know who you are dating as a curiosity thing."

"Are you going to tell ma?" Jaxith bit his lip, anxious.

"Not unless you want me to." Roy smiled. "Once you've decided exactly what gender you prefer, though, she should be informed."

"How do I know when?" Jaxith wondered.

"One day you wake up and realize what kind of people you are attracted to. At least, that was the way it was for me." Roy nodded. "It's okay to like both boys and girls, too."

"Okay." Jaxith nodded. "Is any of the advice you've given me good on boys?"

"No clue." Both laughed afterwards, the tension braking.

"Oh and Jaxith," Roy caught the boy with his words just before he left, "I don't mind that you're acting more like yourself, but just warn me before you have a sudden change in behavior."

"Whatever." Jaxith rolled his eyes and left.

Roy sat in his chair and smiled wryly. _Now he's acting like an unruly teenager. Still, don't we all at some point?_

**-With Everyone Else-**

Jaxith walked into the room to see Edward holding Michel up against a wall by the collar of his shirt. Everyone in the room was nervous and tense.

"You wanna say that again?" Edward asked, clearly pissed and upset.

"You're an-" Michel began.

"Stop it, both of you!" Jaxith snapped, clearly pissed off himself. "You're both being immature, so just grow up and start tolerating the other." Edward dropped Michel and stalked off.

"I'll be back later." Edward remarked gruffly while leaving.

"I'm sorry." Winry bowed to Michel, then left and ran off after Edward.

"What did you say to him?" Jaxith demanded.

"He's immature?" Michel raised an eyebrow, slightly perturbed by Jaxith's behavior.

"And why did you keep on provoking him?" Jaxith hissed.

"Who shoved a stick up your ass?" Michel asked Jaxith, not amused. "And more importantly, why are you acting like this?"

"This is how I act." Jaxith glared at his friend.

"So everything you've done and said up 'til now has been a lie?" Michel asked.

"And?" Jaxith didn't seem to understand why that was important.

"This is just a big a lie, isn't it." Michel answered. "Your emotions are just as artificial as they were previously. I'll hang out with you when you're someone actually worth being around."

No one said anything when Michel turned on his heel and left. Jaxith sat down in one of the unoccupied chairs and looked out the window. Everyone went back to work. A little while later Roy came out of his office, coughed, and left, Jaxith getting up and following.

"I heard everything." Roy told his great-nephew when they got in the car. Jaxith made no move to respond.

"Do you want help?" Roy asked.

"What's the use?" Jaxith asked darkly. "I'm a major fuck-up."

"Only if you let yourself be one." Roy looked at Jaxith out of the corner of his eye. The boy was crying. After a short while Roy stopped the car.

"Get out." He told Jaxith.

"What!?" Jaxith jumped and stared.

"You need to get out here." Roy told him calmly. "I'm not always direct in the ways I go about doing things, but this is what you need to do next."

"So you're just trying to use fancy words to say you are abandoning me." Jaxith hissed.

"No," Roy shook his head, "I'm just teaching you a very important lesson. Be home by ten." Roy shoved Jaxith out of the car, startling the boy. He then shut the door and drove off. Jaxith glared at the car as it went away from his place on the pavement. He was not happy. Not in the least.

"What an ass!" Someone remarked from behind Jaxith. "Toss you out on the street like that! …Hey, you okay kid?"

"No." Jaxith answered, he was far from okay. The other person helped him to his feet. Once on his feet, Jaxith turned and had a good look at the person who helped him. He was brown haired, blue eyed, and very average looking.

"Do you want something to drink?" The man asked.

"…Sure." Jaxith didn't know this person, and at this point, he really didn't care. The man held out his arm to Jaxith, like a man would for a woman. Jaxith cocked his head to the side, confused.

"Just take it, they'll let you in without question if you do." The man explained quickly. Jaxith grabbed his arm and let the man lead him into a bar.

"Who's this little thing?" A gruff, big man asked at the door.

"My new companion, someone threw him out on the street!" The man with Jaxith spoke kind of in a feminine way.

"What a waste!" The gruff man shook his head. "Go on in."

The bar was full of men. They were all sitting in groups, talking and laughing in the way drunken people did. Several of the men were exchanging lust-filled looks with one another. Others were making out on the sides. Some were even pleasing each other under the tables, with their hands in the other's pants. Jaxith blinked once, not at all bothered with what he was looking at. He took about two steps before he realized that part of him was uncomfortable, making his pants tight and unpleasant to walk in.

"Enjoying yourself a little much?" The man chuckled, noticing Jaxith's predicament. Jaxith blushed, his great-uncle's explanation as to what was happening coming back to him. According to Roy, all this men loving men was 'turning him on'. The two reached the bar and the keep came over, an amused smirk on his face. Jaxith was staring at everything around him in childish wonder.

"What brings you in here?" The keep asked. Jaxith didn't hear him.

"He got thrown out on the street." The man explained. "Get him something to drink, I'm paying."

"I'm not serving alcohol to a minor." The keep gave the man a narrowed look.

"…What does beer taste like?" Jaxith asked the keep, having come to his senses- sort of.

"Umm…." The keep couldn't answer the question.

"Could I try some?" Jaxith requested.

"I don't want to get anyone in trouble." The keep was stern.

"I just want a sip." Jaxith pleaded.

"Why don't you give me a reason?" The keep challenged him.

"…I fucked up two of my best friendships, my uncle got mad and threw me out on the street and my parents back home probably think I'm unnatural and demented for liking other boys." Jaxith sighed.

"You know what. With all of that, you need whiskey kid, not a beer." The keep told him, and then proceeded to serve Jaxith a shot of whiskey. Jaxith looked at it, blinked once, then drank the entire thing in one gulp.

"Pa makes better moonshine." Jaxith grumbled, his Western accent returning.

"Ah, well, I don't have homemade. I got cider though." The keep smiled and passed Jaxith a cider.

A few hours passed, and by them Jaxith got himself completely intoxicated and wound up telling the man and keep everything that had been bothering him. Pains of being the subject of constant bullying when he was young, the constant disapproval and disappointment from his parents, the uncertainly in finding and maintaining his place at school, his issues with Edward and Michel. Jaxith's woes filled the bar, making everyone stop and listen.

"Tha's why I 'ate maself." Jaxith sobbed.

"No, you're just confused." The keep told the boy. "Everyone loves you and will forgive you in time."

"Yous sure?" Jaxith's words were a little slurred.

"Yes." The keep smiled. "Now, what's your uncle's number? I think it's time you went home."

"Ah can't remember." Jaxith admitted.

Luckily, Kain Fuery and his boyfriend walked into the bar around right around then.

"What the _heck_ is the Colonel here for?" Fuery muttered, walking quickly over, only to find that the person in question was not Colonel Mustang but Jaxith.

"Ah…he doesn't look very military to me, Kain." Fuery's boyfriend commented.

"He's not, he's my commanding officer's nephew. The two look a lot alike." Fuery explained.

"You know him?" The keep asked. "Because he's wasted and needs a ride home."

"…You gave him alcohol?" Fuery lost his composure and his glasses got out of alignment.

"Hey, he was Western-" The keep began.

"That's no reason!" Fuery glared. "Hey, Jaxith?"

"Am Ah bad?" Jaxith asked slowly, looking upset.

"No, you're drunk. We're going home, okay?" Fuery looked the boy in the eye.

"Ahm _liked_ 'ere." Jaxith mumbled, Fuery thought that might have been an attempt at protesting.

"Who's paying?" Fuery asked the people around him.

"I am." The man that brought Jaxith into the bar volunteered.

"Are you the one that snuck him in?" Fuery's boyfriend asked, not pleased with the situation.

"He looked like he needed it." The man answered. Fuery shook his head.

"You hold him, I'll call his uncle." Fuery ordered his boyfriend.

About 15 minutes later Roy Mustang walked into the bar and helped Fuery haul his drunk great-nephew into the car.

**-The Next Morning-**

Jaxith had the world's biggest headache. Every sound thumped through his brain, moving hurt and made him nauseous.

"Jaxith?" Roy asked in a quiet, hushed voice. Jaxith mumbled something on the lines of 'go the fuck away', but one can never be too sure.

"Here's some water and a bucket." Roy set the items down beside him. "I have some medicine that'll help when you're alive enough to crawl out of bed."

It was an hour before Roy saw his great-nephew enter the kitchen, looking like a wreck. Jaxith robotically took the medicine and food offered, glaring and cursing the light.

"How do you feel now?" Roy asked.

"Like a big piece of shit that just got walked on." Jaxith hissed.

"Emotionally?" Roy asked again.

"…Right." Jaxith answered after some thought.

-------------

Jaxith got himself plastered! Yay! If you must know, Roy called Jaxith in sick and took the day off to nurse him.

Here's the rules for the inserts, and remember that this is the last chapter for them:

0- If you feel up to it, you could submit a female and male character for insert.

1- Could you please provide a physical description of the person? (Please keep the hair natural colors)

2- Could you please provide a mood that they are at the beginning of the interaction? (Examples: homesick, depressed, horny, etc.)

3- Could you please provide a disposition for your person? (Examples: happy, sad, out to kill the male race, etc.)

4- Could you please provide a quote you want the person to say? (Example: "I think that guy's hair looks like a palm tree!")

5- Remember that if you tell me anything that's 1910s era, I will either edit to fit the 1910s, or not include you at all.

6- Keep in mind your insert may be something mentioned in passing while there is a lull in the dancing. (Example: "I just finished dancing with this weird girl that kept on talking about bottle caps and skiing." or "Jaxith, did that red-haired girl bother you any? She seemed to have her hands on your butt the entire dance!")

7- I will insert at least one of your characters!

8- Your character may be given a costume and thrown into the Hallow's Eve Dance.

What I am using these inserts for is to gain more material for the dances. I have established these conditions so that I can be as creative as possible. I will PM you if your set up is unusable, so you can expect your insert to appear, no matter what in the next chapter. If for some reason you are missed, I will make sure you appear at the Hallow's Eve Dance.

Thank y'all,

Bar-Ohki


	35. Forgiveness

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: This is no reason to sue me, so please don't!

Recap: Jaxith pisses off his friends, gets thrown out on the street, and then gets plastered at a gay bar.

Other Stuff: I'm not sick anymore! That's a wonderful, wonderful thing. I'll keep the inserts open this chapter.

Previously:

_"Emotionally?" Roy asked again._

_"…Right." Jaxith answered after some thought._

Chapter 34: Forgiveness

"Why'd you throw me out on the street?" Jaxith asked after a long while.

"You needed a drink and some assurance that your attraction to Edward wasn't a bad thing. The drink was for making you think through and clear out your emotions, so why not stick you in a bar full of homosexuals?" Roy grinned. "The man that picked you up was my old landlord."

"So you actually set that up?" Jaxith's eyebrow twitched, betraying his annoyed state.

"Yes. We almost had a problem when Fuery decided he wasn't going to go to the bar that night, but thankfully Hawkeye persuaded him otherwise." Roy let out a breath of relief. "Now before you get grumpy with me for meddling in your affairs, let me remind you that I don't meddle unless it's absolutely _needed._"

"Equivalent Exchange." Jaxith muttered under his breath.

"Yes, it is." Roy nodded.

"Will this headache ever go away?" Jaxith moaned.

"You'll be fine enough for school tomorrow if that's what you want to know." Roy answered, not assuring Jaxith in the least.

**-Break-**

Despite Roy's assurance that he would not have to go into work that day, a phone call that afternoon proved him wrong. Jaxith followed his great-uncle into work, grumbling all the while. Upon arrival at the office, Roy opened the door to see Edward and Alphonse standing there. Edward was frowning and Alphonse seemed tense.

"Hello." Roy greeted the Elrics. Edward in response stomped past him and grabbed Jaxith's wrist dragging the boy off.

"Should I be worried?" Roy asked Alphonse.

"I don't think so, but I'd have the first aid kit ready just in case." Alphonse told Roy as he walked out after his brother and friend. Roy didn't like the sound of that.

It did not take long for Alphonse to catch up with Edward and Jaxith. They walked in silence while Edward led them to the State Alchemist testing grounds. Jaxith blinked, having not seen the variety of raw materials the military stored for their alchemists.

"This is where you have your practical examination." Edward explained. "Your great-uncle's been here, as have I."

"Am I supposed to be here?" Jaxith whispered.

"Right now you are, but it's breaking of the rules if that's what you mean." Edward gave Jaxith a cheeky grin.

And that was all the warning Jaxith got before Edward swung his automail fist at Jaxith's head, albeit slowly as to not hurt his friend. Jaxith had enough time to react and he jerked away, stumbling backwards to trip and land gracelessly on his ass. He managed a small 'ow' before having to roll out of the way as Edward was on him again.

It didn't take a genius to see that it was a one-sided fight. Jaxith knew how to brawl and was best suited against other opponents without real combat training. Edward, being a State certified field alchemist and a student of Izumi Curtis, was several levels above Jaxith. He had complete control over both of their movements.

Pressing the attack purposefully, Edward provoked Jaxith to punch him back. Jaxith, falling right into Edward's trap, swung at the blonde's face and hit it. Edward swerved his head to the side, cushioning the blow a slight bit.

"Damn, that's going to hurt in the morning." Edward muttered, now with a black eye starting to form. Jaxith just stood there and gasped in horror. Edward rolled his eyes then proceeded to smack Jaxith on the side of the head, hard.

"Quit being wishy-washy!" Edward proceeded to lecture his friend, having saved it until the fight was over.

"I'm not a trained fighter!" Jaxith snapped back. "I don't like fighting! I hate it!"

"Then why are you picking fights?" Edward asked, deadly serious. "Provoking people is only going to get you into trouble!"

"Like you're one to talk." Alphonse snorted from the back.

"Why did you attack me?" Jaxith asked.

"Because I wanted to see how good a fighter you were." Edward answered, as if it was obvious.

"Your curiosity earned you a black eye." Jaxith observed, finding this side of Edward strange.

"You never know anything until you conduct the experiment." Edward pointed out. "Now I don't know how I feel about liking guys and girls, but I'm willing to try it out."

"What?" Jaxith was caught off-guard.

"Me and Al talked it over last night." Edward admitted. "And that Michel-guy was right, I need some more social experience."

"So you're going to date me to get experience?" Jaxith felt slightly used.

"Isn't that was dating is about?" Edward asked. "I mean, it's not like I'm deciding on a life partner."

"But what if _I_ am?" Jaxith asked back.

"Neither of us know if we really like boys or not, and I don't think this-" Edward was cut off.

"I like boys." Jaxith answered. "I _really_ like boys, and I'm sure about that."

"Well, I'm not." Edward replied.

"What do we do now?" Jaxith asked, not knowing himself.

"Finding you both ice packs, I think that is a good place to start…." Alphonse suggested, pointing at both of their bruises.

As they walked away Jaxith realized that at some point, he was going to have to confess that he was now dating Edward Elric.

**-Break-**

Jaxith walked into the calculus room bright and early the next morning. As per usual, Euclid was already there, but today was not usual in that Samantha was also in the room with him. They had been waiting.

"So Jaxith, Mike told me the most interesting story," Samantha began, "care to elaborate?"

"I don't know what he told you." Jaxith shrugged. "I can't defend myself if I don't know what I've been accused of."

"What did you do to make him call you 'artificial'?" Samantha asked, looking concerned.

"I-" Jaxith opened his mouth to say another word, but none came to mind. He shut his mouth.

"I heard you got yourself plastered at The Broken Tankard." (1) Euclid was frowning. "Care to share how the heck you got them to let you in?"

"I was with my uncle's previous landlord." Jaxith answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Uncle Roy sent me there to straighten out my emotions."

"Which is what had upset Mike." Euclid concluded. "Mike's a little oblivious sometimes, so it's all right."

"What do you mean?" Jaxith asked, confused.

"We knew you weren't expressing yourself properly." Samantha smiled. "Which is why we've been trying to help."

"And don't worry about Mike, we'll set him straight for you." Euclid grinned. "Here's a make-up assignment."

"…Thank you?"

**-Break-**

During calculus Euclid had given Mike a look to stay quiet, for which Jaxith was thankful. Heading into his second class with von Kisper, Jaxith moaned. He wasn't going to like this. As he was sitting down, von Kisper marched over.

"So, care to share with me why you weren't in class yesterday?" Kisper growled.

"I was sick." Jaxith answered.

"With a hangover." Kisper scornfully glared. "As punishment, _you_ get to give your speech first."

"Wait, isn't that tomorrow?" Jaxith's eyes flew open with panic when he glanced at the calendar in the back of the room. Today was Thursday. The report was due Friday.

"Yes it is." Kisper smiled. "It better be good."

Jaxith swallowed hard, not liking that at all.

**-Break-**

Michel was currently wishing he knew what he had done to piss Samantha off. Because today in Physical Education, they were playing dodgeball. And Samantha was currently enjoying pelting him with dodge balls. Well, more like hurtling them at dangerous and painful velocities.

Afterwards Samantha hauled him to the side.

"You realize that Jax needs your help and support right now?" She growled.

"_That's_ what I did?" Michel blinked. She smacked him on the head.

"He's finally figuring himself out! You've got to be supportive." Samantha turned on her heel and left.

"Ouchies…." Michel muttered not too sure what to do now. The bell reminded him that going to class might be a good idea.

**-Break-**

At lunch Michel sat down next to Jaxith, who was sporting entire sticks of chalk in his hair today.

"What did you _do_ to that woman?" Michel asked him, half horrified.

"I fell asleep." Jaxith sweatdropped. "She seems to throw more chalk the more I do it. Why are you talking to me?"

"Because I was being an ungrateful asshole earlier." Michel left it at that. "You need help, not rejection."

"How many of those bruises did Samantha give you?" Jaxith eyed Michel's black and blue arm.

"…All."

"I will never understand the female creature." Jaxith shook his head.

"Me nether." Both laughed.

"What did you two just say about women?" Samantha asked, seething from right behind them.

"Er-" "Wait-!" "We didn't mean to-" The boys sputtered senselessly.

Samantha growled once and held up a large math textbook.

**Smack! Thump!**

And on the floor, two boys were left unconscious.

-----------

Never make a woman mad, it's generally a very bad idea. And as for Edward, he's such a scientist about everything he does. Wow, even dating is an experiment to him…. Anyone wanna place bets on how far Roy's going to jump in the air when he walks in on Jaxith and Edward making out?

1- This is the bar Jaxith got himself smashed at in the last chapter. It is known for its drag-queens, strip teases, good drinks, and Haymans Breda's most humiliating college moment. Not that the last one is too well known...


	36. Thank God its Friday!

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA, happy?

Recap: Jaxith and Edward are now officially dating (whatever that means) and Mike has forgiven Jaxith.

Other Stuff: Why do they call them mid-terms when it's your second exam in week 8 out of 11? I don't think I'll ever figure out why, but I got loaded with them this last week. Sorry for the late update. I'm aiming for a once a week update right now, I'm trying to get back to my twice a week updates, but I hold no promises.

Previously:

_**Smack! Thump!**_

_And two boys were unconscious on the floor._

Chapter 35: Thank God It's Friday!

After Jaxith had regained consciousness he went to class and finished his day. Upon getting picked up, Breda inquired about the chalk in his hair. Jaxith confirmed that yes, Mrs. Celt had thrown it at him, and yes he had fallen asleep in her class again. Upon arrival at Headquarters Roy pointed Jaxith to the military showers and told him to do something about his hair. Jaxith went down to the showers with Havoc as an "escort" (in reality it was more of a "big, angry looking tall guy with a gun" to keep idiots from laughing at Jaxith's hair). After a quick wash Jaxith returned to his great-uncle's office. Edward was already there.

"Come on Ed! Who gave you that black eye!?" Breda whined, begging for more details.

"It doesn't matter." Edward glared at Breda, then turned his attention towards Roy. "You said you had something for me."

"No, I said you have something to give me." Roy corrected Edward. "Fullmetal, Jaxith, in my office now."

Everyone was stared; Roy had never ordered Jaxith to do anything before. Jaxith blinked once and walked into the office and sat down, nervous. Edward took a seat next to him on the couch and looked grumpy. Roy sat down in his chair and looked at the boys expectantly.

"So. What the hell do you want?" Edward asked after a while, clearly annoyed.

"An explanation as to what trespassed yesterday." Roy answered. Edward blinked. "That means an explanation for your black eye."

"I took this idiot out to clear his head." Edward jerked his head at Jaxith.

"…And your definition of that is sparring if I recall correctly." Roy sighed. "So Jaxith is the one who gave you that black eye?"

"Yes." Jaxith nodded.

"Edward, I honestly thought you were a better fighter than that." Roy looked slightly disappointed.

"I wanted to see if he had the guts to give me one." Edward answered, his tone very matter of fact.

"Is there anything else I need to be aware of?" Roy looked at Jaxith when he said it.

"Nothing that I can think of." Jaxith said quietly.

"Really." Roy didn't look convinced. "That's pretty interesting considering you promised you'd tell me if you were dating anyone." Edward turned around and raised an eyebrow at Jaxith's horrified expression.

"Did you-?" Jaxith asked Edward.

"That bastard there knows just about everything I do." Edward glared at Roy when he said this. "He has…ways."

"I'm still waiting, Jaxith." Roy seemed irritated, his patience thinning.

"…I'm dating Edward." Jaxith said in a small voice.

"Thank you. My only house rule is no sex." Roy told them both. "And that Jaxith has to be home at a reasonable hour on school nights."

"That's it?" Edward asked, raising a dubious eyebrow.

"Yes, that's it. You both are welcome to leave." Roy was sincere. "I've already had my peace with Jaxith about this."

"You aren't going to give me a lecture or anything?" Edward still wasn't convinced.

"It's your relationship; I don't meddle in people's love affairs." Roy announced.

"What about Havoc's girlfriends?" Jaxith asked.

"I'm helping him." Roy answered flatly. Edward nodded, agreeing with that. (1)

"…That's a really dumb way to go about doing it." Jaxith muttered, shaking his head.

"And Fullmetal, it would be wise of you to read through the military's regulations concerning relationships." Roy added, almost as an afterthought.

"The military has them?" Edward blinked. "I mean they let you go around and-"

"I don't take any of my dates on base for a reason Fullmetal." Roy answered. "Jaxith is allowed on the grounds, you two are just not allowed to be _affectionate_ in the presence of military officials."

"What the hell?" Edward muttered.

"Relationships are separate from work; well they are if you like your job. If you can recall, Hughes never, ever showed anyone a picture of his wife if he was on base." Roy pointed out. "On the other hand, I have seen several pictures of Gracia while he was off-duty."

"I'll read them." Edward promised after a pause, he sure as heck didn't want his license revoked.

"Good, you might want to invest in the same Jaxith, since you are dating a military officer." Roy eyed his great-nephew. "Now I don't know what you two want to do, but I am planning on heading back to the apartment in 15 minutes."

"Do you want to do anything?" Edward asked.

"I have to write a speech." Jaxith confessed.

"Then go home and do your homework." Edward suggested. "We're going to that dance tomorrow anyways, so we'll just have fun then."

Jaxith looked like he had just watched his mother get run over by a car, horrified and numb. Roy raised an eyebrow, wondering how going to a dance with someone you were interested in could possibly be scary.

**-Break-**

Standing in front of a large class of people, Jaxith was trying not to hyperventilate. He had a large fear of public speaking, which was only accented by the fact von Kisper had invited the State Alchemists that were close by to listen to the speeches. Not only was his great-uncle there, but Edward was too, as well as Major Armstrong. Jaxith bit back the wave of nausea that churned in his stomach, he was too nervous to speak without stuttering.

Taking a deep breath, Jaxith made peace with the fact he was about to get a poor grade _and_ make a fool of himself.

"H-hello!" Jaxith began, stuttering, his nervousness extremely apparent. "I-I-I-!" Jaxith cut himself off, his stomach turning again. He tried breathing but nothing seemed to work, there just wasn't enough air. Several people in the room grew confused and worried. Jaxith stumbled, his legs unlocking suddenly, and the world spun.

Very suddenly Jaxith found himself caught in a pair of large, strong arms. He was carried somewhere, the hall, he realized faintly. Someone was speaking but the words coming through his ears couldn't be processed by his mind. Jaxith was still trying to find a gulp of air to take into his lungs. He then felt a large, cold object touch the back of his neck, making his breath hitch and then stop completely.

"Jaxith!" He heard Edward's voice over the imposed dullness.

"I-I'm so sorry." Jaixth muttered, his breathing returned to normal, and his eyes shut.

"How are you feeling?" Armstrong asked his big voice full of concern.

"Exhausted." Jaxith admitted.

"I've never seen someone act like that before…." Another alchemist commented.

"It's a severe case of stage fright." Armstrong explained quickly to the man. "My mother has a similar problem."

"Your mother is afraid of public speaking." Edward sounded a little amazed.

"She doesn't mind being put on display though." Armstrong added thoughtfully. "I am sure it would have been a fine speech."

"Skibereen." Von Kisper arrived from his class. "You'll be giving me your speech during lunch."

"Sure." Jaxith let out a breath of relief.

"You are a remarkable amount of trouble." Von Kisper muttered and shook his head. "But at least you are brilliant."

"_Brilliant_?" Jaxith gasped in awe.

"Didn't realize how smart you are?" Edward chuckled. "Get some rest; I'll listen to the rest of the speeches."

"Why do you have to do that?" Jaixth asked.

"You'll need notes." Edward answered. "I heard there's going to be a test on this stuff."

"Ack…." Jaxith moaned.

**-Break-**

As it turned out Jaxith gave his speech to Armstrong and von Kisper in the latter's office that lunch. Jaxith had an informative and moving speech about the honor and strength of the Armstrong family and their traditions, as well as Alex's work as a State Alchemist. Von Kisper nodded and told Jaxith that they had just recorded the speech to play back to the class on Monday.

"What!?" Jaxith gasped.

"If I had told you that at the beginning your stage fright would have gotten the best of you. You gave a very good speech today and the information you covered will be on the test, I have no other way to give it to your peers." Von Kisper justified his actions.

"Okay…." Jaxith muttered.

"It was a very worthy and moving speech!" Armstrong exclaimed, dabbing a handkerchief on his tears of joy. This wasn't the first time Armstrong had burst into tears of pride during Jaxith's speech.

"T-Thank you." Jaxith muttered, embarrassed.

"Now go get yourself some lunch." It was a clear dismissal.

_Only a couple of classes to go!_ Jaxith smiled, happy to know it was Friday.

**-break-**

Having spent the entire day at the school listening to speeches, Edward and Roy were standing outside the gates waiting for Jaxith to get out of class. When Jaxith did appear Michel was following him, looking depressed.

"What happened here?" Roy asked. Edward glared at Michel.

"I don't have anything to wear." Michel sounded dejected.

"...I suppose that would work." Roy muttered. "I think I have some old formal clothes in my closet."

"Why didn't you say that earlier?" Edward hissed.

"Because they wouldn't have fit someone as tiny as you." Roy jabbed at the young man's height.

**"You utter **_**bastard**_**!!" **Edward roared.

"So I have heard." Roy remarked dryly, unfazed. "Come on Michel, let's see if we can get you into something nice."

**-Break-**

Roy was not a man to buy clothes that weren't fitted, even in his youth he'd been this way. Which is why he was not surprised to see that his clothes hung funny from Michel's shoulders. Michel had smaller, taller shoulders than Roy did, among other things.

"It's a pity they don't fit." Jaxith sighed, slightly disappointed. "They'd look wonderful on you."

"Oh that's nothing that can't be fixed." Edward shrugged it off.

"Like I have money for a tailor!" Michel snapped, irritated and tense. Edward shook his head and clapped his hands.

"That would work…." Roy muttered, observing Edward transmute his old clothes.

"Do you want them restored afterwards?" Edward asked.

"No." Roy shook his head. "Mummy insisted that I keep some of my old clothes to show my kids, I have plenty of others."

"Your mother is a very strange person." Michel commented, now looking significantly more formal. He had on a pair of black trousers, suspenders, with a cream dress shirt. There had been a vest, but it was eaten by moths. Michel wasn't going to be as extravagantly dressed as Edward or Jaxith, but he certainly looked nice.

"Not by Western standards." Roy chuckled. "You are welcome to keep those."

Michel blinked in disbelief. "Are you sure? These are the nicest things I've ever put on!"

It was around then everyone realized just how little money Michel's family had. The quality of the clothes he was currently wearing was not much higher than the quality of his school uniform. Roy frowned slightly remembering that Michel's father was also an alcoholic and that his mother was dead. Jaxith had mentioned both things in passing one day while he drew the picture of Michel's mother. At some point Jaxith had also mentioned the fact that Michel was living off scholarship money.

"All the more reason then." Roy nodded. "Will you need a ride to the dance?" Roy inquired.

"Er, I was going to walk Samantha to the dance…." Michel admitted.

"Do you want a chauffeur?" Roy asked.

"What!?" Michel gasped.

"I know someone that'll help you with that…." Roy continued to grin.

And that's how Havoc got conned into driving Samantha and Michel around for the evening.

It was quickly decided the next appropriate course of action was to take Edward and Michel to Headquarters while Jaxith stayed back at the apartment to change his clothes. Once at Headquarters Michel would meet up with Havoc and get driven to Samantha's home. When Edward arrived he would rush to his dorm, shower and change, and then meet Roy out front with Alphonse.

It was a successful operation.

Jaxith had just finished putting on his hat at the perfect angle when Roy knocked on the door while he walked into the apartment, announcing his presence.

"Jaxith, are you ready?" Roy asked.

"Yes!" Jaxith walked over, looking perfect in his pinstripes and fedora.

"I wonder what Edward is going to say." Roy pondered.

"I'm hoping for something promising." Jaxith admitted.

"We will see." Roy and Jaxith walked down to the car. Edward was sitting in the back seat next to his brother, looking perfect in his attire. Jaxith gasped at how stunning Edward looked. Edward turned around and studied Jaxith, his gaze calculating. He then broke out into a smile.

"You look better than that old fogie behind you ever could." Edward commented with a smile.

Roy fell into a state of short-lived depression, sniffing in his misery.

"Did you say that because you meant it, or because you like making my uncle cry?" Jaxith asked, unamused.

"Both." Edward confessed.

"You are incorrigible." Jaxith shook his head and sat down next to Edward.

"You still look really nice." Edward assured his boyfriend, setting a hand on Jaxith's shoulder.

"So do you." Jaxith smiled back, blushing faintly.

"I think I'm going to gag." Alphonse moaned.

"Alphonse, killing two first-time lovebirds' attempt at fluffy romance isn't a wise choice." Roy almost glared at the younger Elric. (2) "It's better to say nothing and let it run its course. They'll eventually realize how lame they are in their own sweet time."

"You suck." Edward stuck his tongue out at Roy. Jaxith sighed and shook his head.

"You boys play nice now." Jaxith reminded both of them, his Western accent briefly returning.

-------------

Bah, I hate school, keeps me from writing.

1- See _Loyalty: A Two Way Street_ for more details.

2- Yes Alphonse, it's not. It generally angers fan girls who are the most dangerous creatures on this planet, especially in large masses.

Hopefully I'll have more time next week, but I make no promises.


	37. Care to NOT Step on my Toes?

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: Jaxith is mine, all mine! And I own nothing else…. How sad.

Recap: Havoc is driving Michel and Samantha. Roy is driving Edward, Alphonse, and Jaxith. Their destination? The dance!

Other Stuff: I got distracted by Whispers Behind Backs, my Harry Potter Fullmetal Alchemist crossover of mysteriousness and awesomeness. I had to write this really surreal dream sequence were Edward has a conversation with the rotting corpse of Roy Mustang. And now it is time for the inserts! I shall uh… give a picture to anyone who can find the insert of me in here. I'll tell you when to stop looking; I may not appear right away.

PS- Adding the inserts has taken more time than usual. Because I have to add them and make it flow, and it was difficult. More so than I realized.

Previously:

_"You suck." Edward stuck his tongue out at Roy. Jaxith sighed and shook his head._

_"You boys play nice now." Jaxith reminded both of them, his Western accent briefly returning._

Chapter 36: Care to _**Not**_ Step on my Toes?

The dance hall, Alphonse decided, was a remarkable letdown. It was just a brick building among a lot of other brick buildings in the industrial district of Central. The only thing remotely distinguishing about it was the fact the old, weathered sign said 'Dance Hall' rather than 'Marty's Steel' or something of the sort. There were abundance of lights and a pair of military policemen just outside the door. Which made sense, as this wasn't exactly the "cleanest" part of town.

"Why'd they put the dance hall here?" Alphonse asked to no one particular.

"Because out here they can make as much noise as they want and not have the neighbors complain." Roy answered with a chuckle. "I'll be back here in three hours, enjoy yourselves until then."

"How accurate is that 'three hours'?" Edward asked as he stepped out of the car.

"As accurate as your watch reads." Roy answered.

"Well that's dumb." Edward muttered.

"Brother doesn't wind his watch." Alphonse reminded Roy.

"Oh."

"Michel has a watch, we'll use his." Jaxith assured his great-uncle quickly.

"I'll be waiting out here for 15 minutes, then I'm going in to haul you out." Roy smirked. "Got it?"

"Yeah, yeah, see you later." Edward waved Roy off and started to make his way across the street to the dance hall.

"See you." Jaxith waved and ran off after Edward.

"Alphonse," Roy called out to the suit of armor before he got too far, "make sure they don't do anything stupid."

"I'll try." Alphonse nodded then jogged after his sibling and friend. He quickly caught up and found Jaxith explaining who he and Edward were and why they should be allowed in.

"-he's a State Alchemist." Jaxith finished.

"Are you, now?" The military policeman looked dubious. Edward pulled out his pocket watch and held it under the man's nose.

"And no, I didn't take it off my old man on the way out." Edward growled.

"Is there a problem here?" Alphonse asked, standing up straight and looming over the military policeman.

"No, of course not!" The man squeaked and let them inside.

"Thanks Al." Edward grinned back at his brother.

"Anytime." Alphonse chuckled.

The interior of the dance hall was significantly more interesting than the exterior. The floor was made out of cork, a very comfortable and forgiving material to be dancing on for long hours. By what appeared to be a bar were a set of unoccupied café tables with nice white linen table clothes and some small, romantic candles. On the other side of the room was a raised stage with a live band that was currently playing a slow, smooth waltz. Judging by the instruments present, they were in fact a jazz band just choosing to play a waltz. Jaxith defiantly looked like he could have been a member of the band.

"Chief?" The small group turned around to see Havoc in his civvies. He was wearing some nice clothes; dress shirt, black vest, and brown slacks. He even had a bow tie, though he was lacking the ever-present cigarette at his mouth.

"Why the getup?" Edward inquired.

"The idiot MPs out there decided they wanted more personnel on hand and sent me in." Havoc jerked his head towards the door. "Thankfully I get to leave when my 'charges' decide it's time to go. What the hell are _you_ doing here?"

"I'm attending my school's dance?" Jaxith raised an 'are you being dumb' eyebrow at Havoc.

"I wasn't talking to you." Havoc managed a smile.

"We're going as friends." Alphonse explained.

"Ah. Say, chief, can you actually dance?" Havoc sounded curious.

"Yes." Edward answered, Havoc didn't look convinced. "Do you need a demonstration?"

"I'd like to see that." Havoc nodded.

It was then two girls who were chatting pleasantly among themselves walked by.

"Excuse me miss, would you like to dance?" Edward asked the older one of the girls.

"I'm sorry, I don't waltz." She answered, her companion nodded in agreement. "Maybe later?"

"Uh, sure." Edward didn't know what to say to that. The girls walked away.

"Ouch." Havoc commented with a chuckle.

"Hey, how was I supposed to know she didn't waltz?" Edward tried to defend himself.

"Jax!" Samantha called and ran over, her heels clacking. Samantha, a person who Jaxith had always seen as a tomboy, was actually very feminine in a dress. She had a nice hourglass figure her school uniform neglected to capture, but her dark blue dress did more than nicely. She also had a very… exotic looking corsage that, Jaxith correctly assumed, Michel made himself. Michel was jogging up behind her. The only difference in his appearance was that he had a little flower pinned to his shirt.

"Hey." Jaxith greeted them, waving.

"Jax, man you look like you could be a part of the band!" Michel gasped, staring. Edward couldn't help but to chuckle.

"Who's this?" Samantha asked, having never met Edward.

"Oh, this is Edward," Jaxith gestured at his friend, "and Alphonse Elric."

"Oh that's right! I've heard about you two." Samantha nodded. "Nice to meet you both."

"Nice to meet you too." Alphonse and Edward gave a small bow to her, as was the proper and respectful way.

"So when am I going to get that demonstration?" Havoc asked Edward again, making Samantha and Michel whir around to stare at him.

"You know Edward, mister Havoc?" Samantha cocked her head, curious.

"He's one of my coworkers." Havoc answered.

"I'm a State Alchemist." Edward quickly added, assuming that Samantha knew Havoc was in the military. "We work for Colonel Mustang."

"Jaxith's uncle." Samantha looked for confirmation and got it quickly. "Ah, I get it."

"Hey there!" A young, energetic girl wearing a long blue dress rushed over, smacking Samantha on the back. "How's my Sammie?"

"Don't call me 'Sammie'." Samantha hissed, mock offended, at her brown-haired friend.

"Do you know her?" Michel asked Jaxith who shook his head.

"This is Jax and Mike." Samantha pointed at her friends.

"Ah, has Mikey-boy here made a move on you?" The girl asked.

"Havoc, do girls do things like this all the time?" Edward whispered.

"Sort of?" Havoc said with some conviction.

"Excuse me!" Michel was blushing and uncomfortable.

"No, he hasn't." Samantha almost looked disappointed.

"I win." The girl squealed and then proceeded to grope Samantha's breasts, making her squeak, startled. Judging by the look of complete bewilderment on Havoc's face, Edward correctly assumed that this was not commonplace behavior in females.

"How dare you!" Michel roared, lunging at the girl (who was now laughing like a maniac).

"Catch me if you can, lover-boy!" She yelled and ran off, Michel hot on her heels.

"What the _hell_?" Jaxith muttered.

"Alphonse now, was it? Could you dance with me?" Samantha asked. "My date's too busy running off, trying to kill my best friend."

"Sure." Alphonse answered taking her hand and leading her out onto the dance floor.

"Ouch." Havoc commented again. Edward looked practically devastated.

"Hey, uh… I'll-" Jaxith was cut off by another girl approaching and she looked _mad._

"What'd you do?" Havoc asked the boy who squeaked a 'nothing!'.

"If I get my hands on him, I swear, I'm going to castrate him…" She had a low, feral growl. The girl was tall, taller than both Jaxith and Edward. She was wearing a simple sleeveless black dress, making her bulky, masculine form prominent. Her chestnut hair was cropped short, coming about halfway down her neck. Her blue eyes were partly hidden behind the glare of her small glasses. Her heels clicked ominously on the floor as he all but stomped over, leaving an aura of fire in her wake.

Edward followed her gaze to see she was glaring not at them, but past them at a boy on the dance floor with another girl in his arms.

"Excuse me miss," Edward began just as she reached them, stopping her in her tracks, "but would you like me to hold that asshole down while you punch him?" Slowly the girl spun her gaze down and around to Edward. Edward had processed what had happened; this girl had probably been stood up because her boyfriend decided to take another girl instead.

"I would like that." She said with a small, honest smile.

"I'm afraid I would have to interfere with that." Havoc stepped forward, looking every bit like the soldier he was, sans uniform.

"You know what, I don't think I'll take the offer though." The girl was quick to add. "Name's Kate, yours?"

"Edward. Perhaps, Kate, you would like to instead go out onto the dance floor with me and out dance him?" Edward had that mischievous glint in his eye.

"Now that," Kate smiled, "I will gladly take you up on." Edward held out his arm and led her onto the dance floor.

"Dammit." Jaxith hissed, frustrated.

"Are you okay?" Havoc asked, the two of them having started to wander towards the dance floor.

"I wanted to be Ed's first dance." Jaxith sighed.

"Ah… why would want to dance with him again?" Havoc was unaware of Jaxith and Edward's new relationship.

"Because he's my boyfriend." Jaxith answered with a 'isn't that obvious?' look.

_"Oh."_ Havoc nodded, trying not to visibly freak out. _I wonder how much money I could make off of betting on that one…._

"Excuse me." A quiet, mousy looking girl had appeared from behind Havoc. "Could you dance with me?"

"Umm…." Havoc wasn't sure whether or not he should dance with someone so much younger than him.

"He can't, he's staff." Jaxith answered quickly. "But I would love to accompany you out onto the dance floor in his stead." To add to his effect, Jaxith bowed gracefully. Havoc began taking serious mental notes, realizing that Roy had most likely passed onto Jaxith all his knowledge in wooing girls.

"I couldn't!" The petit girl protested. "You're the most popular guy in school and-"

"And I want to dance with you." Jaxith cut her off. "Is that a crime?"

"No." The girl was turning extremely red. Jaxith smiled comfortingly and held out his arm for her. After a few deep breaths the girl took his arm and followed him out onto the dance floor. Havoc grinned and pulled out the camera he'd been hiding. Another reason, in fact the main reason, he was here was to take pictures of Edward, Alphonse, and Jaxith dancing. With a small click, a picture of a young, shy, mousy girl awkwardly clinging on Jaxith's arm and his encouraging smile. It would make a great addition to the photo album later on.

Just then the song ended and new partners stepped out onto the dance floor. Havoc found himself another good vantage point while the band members chatted a little about the dance hall, the significance of the dance, and the song they were about to play. Again people were caught on film, Jaxith and his mousy girl, Edward and Kate, Alphonse and Samantha, and even one of Michel still chasing after Samantha's best friend whose name has yet to be mentioned.

Kate smiled as she and Edward walked over and stood uncomfortably close to her boyfriend and his girl. Said boyfriend turned around and stared at them.

"Kate, I never thought you'd be desperate enough to dance with a _kid_." The boyfriend practically sneered. Kate opened her mouth to speak, but with no quick comeback coming, Edward took control. He calmly reached into his vest pocket and pulled out his state watch and showed it to the boyfriend.

"Actually, it is Major Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist to you sir." Edward corrected the boyfriend with a forced smile. The boyfriend stood there and stared, his mouth moving and yet with no words coming out.

"I hope you have a good time with your slut!" Kate wished him with a light wave while Edward led her to another part of the dance floor. She turned and faced Edward. "Are you kidding me?"

"No, I was serious." Edward showed her the silver watch, the real thing.

"Of all the men to randomly pick out of the crowd I wound up with you." Kate laughed. "I just hope you don't step on my feet."

"I won't." Edward assured her. "I happen to be an _excellent_ dancer."

"Good to hear." Kate grinned.

The music started up again, this time swing. Edward wasn't familiar with swing dancing but he was quick to improvise and learn the moves. Kate was amazed how responsive he was. Left step, right step, left step, back step. Lean into it, pull forward and repeat. After a few bars into the song, Edward had mastered basic swing then proceeded to do more complicated moves, spinning Kate around and such. Halfway through the song the other dancers around them had formed a small ring to watch Edward perform moves such as picking Kate up and flipping her over his head in time with music. Edward was strong and in very good control of himself and his partner, Kate felt safe the entire time. She started laughing when Edward tossed her into the air, having a great time.

The mousy girl had turned out to be Lynn, a girl that Jaxith had geography with. Lynn was a decent and patient dancer. She helped Jaxith through the steps, covering for his mistakes. To his credit, Jaxith didn't step on her feet once, or fall over.

"You have no coordination." Lynn observed with a small smile.

"I know. Actually I'm really thankful Edward's over there making some kind of big scene, I don't really want people to be watching me right now." Jaxith admitted, blushing.

"It's okay, we can't be perfect." Lynn assured him.

"…Yeah…." Jaxith looked melancholy, remembering how hard his parents forced perfection on him.

"Don't worry though, you're getting better!" Lynn assured him.

"Thanks Lynn." Jaxith was sincere.

"Thanks for giving me the nerve to dance with you in the first place." Lynn smiled wryly. "You have an awful lot of courage for someone who can't dance."

"More like misplaced confidence." Jaxith muttered, making Lynn laugh.

"Whatever you say." Lynn laughed. Jaxith glanced beyond Lynn and saw Havoc taking pictures.

"He did not just!" Jaxith gasped getting a face full of flash from Havoc's camera. Lynn squeaked as well, just realizing that she'd been photographed.

Alphonse and Samantha, in comparison to their companions, had a quiet, calm dance in which little was said and both parties enjoyed.

--------------

There will not be any AlSamantha. They are dancing as friends and enjoying it as such.

To those who have just been inserted: welcome to the world of A Pen or A Sword! I hope your arrival was nice and smooth and that your stay will be amusing.

To those who I have yet to insert: this dance will be taking multiple chapters, so you'll arrive in time, I assure you.

Thank you for reading, please drop me a review and let me know what you think!


	38. Can I have this dance?

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: I don't own all of the OCs featured in the last chapter and in the current one. If you are curious whether or not I own an OC, please contact me via PM or e-mail.

Recap: Jaxith danced with Lynn, Edward danced with Kate, Alphonse danced with Samantha, and Michel is off chasing some chick.

Other Stuff: Finals are killing me.

Previously:

_"He did not just!" Jaxith gasped getting a face full of flash from Havoc's camera. Lynn squeaked as well, just realizing that she'd been photographed._

_Alphonse and Samantha, in comparison to their companions, had a quiet, calm dance in which little was said and both parties enjoyed._

Chapter 37: "Can I have this dance? …What do you mean, 'no'?"

After the song was over Jaxith bid Lynn a polite good bye so that he could go and strangle Havoc. The young Skibbereen only got about ten feet before someone spotted him. This "someone" was a curly haired redhead with a cheery smile and sparkling blue eyes. She was wearing a simple dark green dress that touched the floor. 

"Oh. Hello." Jaxith paused and flashed her a smile.

"Hey! Jaxith, can I um…." The girl was a little rushed with her words, the blush in her cheeks making her freckles harder to see.

"Do you wish to have the next dance?" Jaxith asked, cocking his head. Inwardly he was sighing. If someone asked him to dance, he took them out, since it was what was proper. What Jaxith really wanted right now was to beat the living shit out of Havoc, then take Edward and find a nice little corner to kiss in romantically. 

"Yes!" The girl smiled as if she had just realized that was what she wanted. "I'm Ava, we have chemistry together."

"We do?" Jaxith reddened in embarrassment. "I didn't notice." 

"That's because I sit right behind you." Ava chuckled. 

"Oh." Jaxith coughed once politely, hoping Ava would take the hint that he didn't want to talk about that. Ava laughed, smiling. 

"Well let's get dancing then!" Jaxith grabbed her wrist and attempted to swing her about dramatically. By attempted we mean he stepped on her dress, tripped and landed on his butt, Ava on top of him. This of course made an odd 'oof' noise from Jaxith as all the air rushed out of his lungs.

"Eep!" Ava squeaked, quickly getting up onto her feet again. Jaxith lay on the floor for a few more minutes, forcing air back into his lungs. Ava stood around wringing her hands, frantic.

"Help!" She gasped again, thinking Jaxith was hurt. Thankfully, a knight in shining armor came her way right then. Well, it wasn't shiny, nor was Alphonse much of a knight, but still!

"Is something wrong?" Alphonse inquired, and he then saw Jaxith sit up.

"Nothing, just fell over." Jaxith waved it off quickly, getting back onto his feet and brushing himself off.

"What an idiot!" Someone in the crowd remarked. "Does he even know how to dance!"

"I do know how, I'm just not good at it." Jaxith muttered acerbically under his breath. 

"Don't try anything fancy," Alphonse reminded Jaxith, "it'll only land you on the floor."

"Thanks?" Jaxith sweatdropped. _And falling on my ass didn't just teach me that?_

"Don't worry," Ava assured Jaxith, "I'll still dance with you."

"Thanks." Jaxith smiled back at her. This dance was in ballroom style. Thankfully it didn't involve anything too complicated. 

**-With Edward-**

Edward, on the other hand, was being swarmed by girls demanding his next dance. After a long decision he promised to dance with them all before the evening was out. Unfortunately for Edward he picked the strangest girl to dance with. His initial reason for picking her was because the purple dress she was wearing caught his eye. It was shorter than what standard modesty permitted, being a flapper dress. She had curly blond hair and large hazel eyes. A top her head sat a single yellow flower, tied onto a headband. She was jumping around, laughing with perhaps too much energy.

Just before the dance started, Edward wondered if not having a will was about to be a serious problem.

**-With Samantha-**

Samantha smiled and approached one of the other boys. He had long red hair pulled back into a ponytail and hazel eyes. He looked dashing in his black suit, and even looked a little bored. 

"Heya. Leo, wasn't it?" Samantha greeted him.

"Oh! Sam!" Leo smiled back. "I was wondering where Ava went…."

"Hmm, I think she is sitting on Jax's chest." Samantha bent over and peered into the crowd, spotting the situation. 

"What an idiot!" Leo remarked. "Does he even know how to dance!"

"Jealous a bit?" Samantha quirked an eyebrow at the man. "Here, I'll take this dance, then you go dance with her."

"Why would she want me?" Leo asked, sounding depressed.

"Because you are handsome and smart." Samantha chuckled.

"Where's your date?" Leo asked. "Did you make him all hot and flustered?"

Just then the crazy friend with the curly brown hair came running past them, screeching something about Michel's lack of a penis. Michel came rushing past them soon after, roaring about how he was going to strangle her when he got a hold of her.

"…That was him just now." Samantha hung her head down in shame.

"With Hayley." Leo stated, it wasn't a question.

"Yes, with my dear, insane friend Hayley." Samantha nodded.

**-Back to Alphonse-**

Alphonse walked away once he was sure Jaxith was not in any mortal danger. He wandered aimlessly around for a minute when he was approached by a couple of boys. They were big, tall, and looking for trouble. The first one approached Alphonse. He had dyed black hair and ice blue eyes.

"Hey, could you buy me a beer?" He asked gruffly.

"Er. No," Alphonse answered. "I'm only 15."

"No way!" The boy gasped. "I mean, you're a good foot taller than everyone else!" It was true; Alphonse was taller than everyone else.

"That doesn't mean I'm going to break the law." Alphonse shook his head.

"So you think you're a goody-two-shoes, huh?" The boy roared, pulling back his fist.

"Wait-!" Alphonse raised his arms up in protest while the boy swung his fist.

**Cra-bong!** The resounding echo of the boy's hand breaking against a hallow suit of armor echoed through the room. Havoc stopped taking pictures and rushed over.

"I think you just broke your hand." Alphonse commented causally.

"You fucker!" The boy roared.

"It's you!" Everyone spun around to see Havoc standing there looking mad. "That Clyde kid." (1)

_"This_ is Clyde?" Alphonse pointed in disbelief. "The guy that gave Jaxith a hard time?"

"Yeah, I'd recognize him anywhere." Havoc nodded. "Well. Since you are causing a disturbance and idiotically punching people wearing armor, I'm going to have to escort you off the premises."

"But-!" Clyde protested.

"Your hand is broken kid, you need to see a doctor." Havoc grabbed the kid by the shoulders and all but shoved him out the door. Clyde's friends stood around for a few minutes looking like lost puppies (except they were not at all cute) and then they wandered off after Clyde. 

Alphonse shook his head and decided to sit this dance out. He wandered over to the café tables to see that the only other people sitting down were the two girls from earlier that Edward had asked to dance. They had a piece of paper between them and were going over it in detail. Alphonse decided it would be best if he left them alone.

In the end Alphonse sat by himself and watched everyone else dance. He felt a little lonely. 

"Hey," one of the girls nudged the other, "go dance with him." She had blond hair and gray eyes. She, if the last chapter of this story was anything to go by, didn't waltz.

"Are you sure?" Her black haired companion sounded a bit apprehensive.

"Yes, now go!" The blond shooed her friend off. Her friend sighed, took a deep breath and walked over to Alphonse. 

"Hello." She said, startling the suit of armor.

"H-hi!" Alphonse would have been blushing if he had a face.

"Will you dance with me?" She asked.

"Well, the song's already started…." Alphonse looked to the other dancers.

"I don't mind that." She laughed. "Dancing is dancing; it doesn't matter when you do it."

"I guess." Alphonse shrugged as he stood up. He bowed politely and led her out onto the dance floor. 

The blond-haired friend smirked, and then turned her gaze back at the paper in front of her. "I hate you."

**-With Edward-**

Edward Elric had never been in a fix this bad in his life. His dance partner obviously didn't know a single thing about dancing. She just picked him up and swung him around like a rag doll with no apparent pattern and certainly not to the music. Sometimes she'd make up her own lyrics to the song playing, sometimes she'd babble on about how females were being oppressed everywhere, and other times she'd just laugh like an idiot at something she found funny. Somehow the red flamel on Edward's vest struck her as amusing four different times.

"You are freaking crazy!" Edward muttered. 

"And loving every minute of it!" She laughed, swinging him around again.

_Someone kill me now!_ Edward wished.

And somewhere else in the city Envy sneezed.

**-With Havoc-**

Havoc was walking back into the dance hall, having just taken care of Clyde and his buddies. He stopped and lit a cigarette, knowing full well that was going to be the last one he'd enjoy that evening. 

"Hey there." He heard a female call from behind. Havoc turned around and stared at a certain very sexy lady. She had ample breasts (a must in Havoc's book), nice curves, and slender, long-fingered hands. Her hair was long, black curls, and her lips had beautiful shade of purple lipstick on them. She wore gloves that almost covered her arms wholly, and a tight black dress that left nothing to the imagination.

"Hi." Havoc quickly decided to remember Tasha, the girl he'd been steady with for almost three months now. Havoc also decided to remember how in a couple of weeks, he'd be going down to Clayston to meet her family for Thanksgiving. The thoughts of some Westerners with shot guns going after his ass for breaking her heart was definitely enough to keep him from ogling this woman. 

"Are you going somewhere?" She asked, her voice smooth like silk. Stepping forward, her body practically screamed 'I want you in my pants, **now**'

"Yes, I'm busy and taken." Havoc told her. "Have a good night." He walked away quickly.

_I can't believe I just rejected some woman like that!_ Havoc gasped. _Hell, I can't believe I have a girlfriend that won't get stolen from me!_

The woman was just standing there frowning to herself.

"Lust?" A childish voice inquired from behind her. It belonged to a remarkably fat hunk of human flesh that was wearing a jump suit. It didn't flatter him.

"Well Gluttony, it appears as though he has a girlfriend." Lust sighed. "Damn, this sets things back."

------------

Sorry about the shortness, but I just don't have the time I usually do (finals kill).

1- Reference to chapter 13, _Learning Something New_. Clyde was the bully Jaxith punched.

Isn't the ending great?

\/p


	39. A Last Dance?

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: For the most part I don't own it.

Recap: Edward now has to dance with all the girls from a mob. Jaxith wants to kick Havoc's ass. And Alphonse managed to get Clyde kicked out of the dance for being an idiot.

Other Stuff: Finals are over! Yay! They were rather difficult this term. Also, I was madly working on my cosplay and the cosplays for some friends for Sakura Con this year. If you want to meet up with me at Sakura Con, please PM me, tell me so in a review, or e-mail me using the nifty e-mail link on my profile. To top it off on Friday I got my wisdom teeth pulled with local anesthesia (as in I was conscious the entire thing). The good news is, I'm mostly recovered. The bad news is, it still hurts. Good thing I got Super Smash Brothers Brawl to help me ignore the pain.

Warning: FLUFF AHEAD!

Previously:

_"Lust?" A childish voice inquired from behind her. It belonged to a remarkably fat hunk of human flesh that was wearing a jump suit. It didn't flatter him._

_"Well Gluttony, it appears as though he has a girlfriend." Lust sighed. "Damn, this sets things back."_

Chapter 38: A Last Dance?

Several dances came and went in the two hours that followed. Edward hadn't been allowed the luxury of getting off his feet for a dance or two to rest, as the girls had been extremely persistent in getting their "turn". Alphonse had gotten to dance and enjoyed a lot of time with a large number of ladies and a few guys even wanted some pointers. Being a soul in a suit of armor, Alphonse didn't tire and so he didn't need a break from being on his feet all the time, though he did choose to sit dances out from time to time, feigning a need to rest. Jaxith only had two real goals for the evening, the first of which was to dance with Edward. But with all the girls, it looked downright impossible. The second goal was to murder Havoc, or at least to destroy his camera. Havoc was very good at getting out of harm's way and was even better at dumping girls off on Jaxith to get him distracted. Michel was still chasing after Hayley, which made Samantha endlessly irritated.

And after a particularly fast-paced round of swing, Samantha let out her frustrations on an unsuspecting Jaxith.

"Jax." Samantha greeted him in a neutral tone. "Can we talk?"

"Eh? Sure?" Jaxith was glad to rid himself of the dance floor; he'd stepped on countless toes and had his feet crushed by several pairs of high-heeled shoes. The two made their way over to the café tables where the two girls continued to murmur over their paper.

"Sheesh," Samantha shook her head at them, "what's the point of going out if you're going to bring your work with you?"

"Maybe they like the atmosphere?" Jaxith suggested.

"Whatever." Samantha rolled her eyes. "Sit down here, I'll get you a drink."

"Get me a lemon-lime tonic!" (1) Jaxith called out to her. Samantha nodded to show she understood and went to go get the drinks. Since he was now sitting at the table, Jaxith decided that eavesdropping to keep himself amused was a good idea.

"Any of the boys here striking your fancy?" The black haired girl asked the blond one while they continued to look over the paper.

"I kind of want to go out there and demand the blond one who everybody wants to dance with to dance with me. 'Cause you know, he actually asked me to dance. But that'd just make the masses upset, so I'll refrain." The blond one answered.

"The armor guy is a good partner." The black haired girl pointed out.

"I suppose so, but knowing my luck he'd step on me and break my foot on accident." The blond shook her head.

"I think you meant to write 'silver' here not 'sliver'." The black haired girl turned the conversation back to the paper.

**Thunk!** Samantha set the glass in front of Jaxith, drawing his attention back to reality.

"It's rude to eavesdrop." Samantha gave him a look. Jaxith rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

"Well what do you have to say?" Jaxith asked her.

"I'm frustrated with Michel." Samantha admitted with a sigh. "He's wonderful and lovable, but he just lacks the courage to get anything done. I want to get kissed before I'm an old woman, thank you very much."

"Why don't you tell him that?" Jaxith suggested. "If he knows it's a problem, maybe he can work to fix it?"

"You sound so sure…." Samantha had a wry grin.

"I am just barely in my first relationship, its not like I have a whole lot of experience." Jaxith admitted.

"Jax is dating someone? Who's the girl?" Samantha raised a dubious eyebrow.

"Guy, I'm dating a guy." Jaxith corrected her. The girls who were working on the paper looked up, stared for a minute, and then started whispering happily amongst themselves. Jaxith was oblivious, while Samantha was not quite so thick.

"Will you gossips go somewhere else?" Samantha roared after she finished stomping over to the other girls (which was an amazing feat in heels).

"Okay." The blond one stood up, picked up her paper and left, her friend following. Samantha blinked once and returned to Jaxith.

"I didn't think they'd get up without a fight." Samantha was honestly stunned.

"Me neither." Jaxith nodded. "I'm dating Edward if you must know."

"How come you're letting all those girls dance with him?" Samantha inquired. "Don't you have the right to at least one dance with him?"

"Tell that to the horde over there." Jaxith jerked a thumb at the line- or rather, mob- of girls who were waiting for a turn with Edward.

"Why not tell it to Edward?" Samantha asked.

"Why not stop Michel and kiss him on the lips?" Jaxith asked her back.

"Why not indeed?" Samantha grinned. "If I kiss Michel, will you go and demand your dance?"

"…Yes." Jaxith nodded, decided.

Hayley and Michel choose to run by at that opportune moment, much like a scene you would see in a movie. Samantha tripped Michel, making him crash to the floor gracelessly.

"_Michel Grevalo_," Samantha almost growled, "you and I need to talk."

"Samantha!" Michel gasped, getting back onto his feet slowly, brushing himself off.

"Actually I don't think you'll be needing to do a lot of talking." Jaxith corrected Samantha. "Just expressing."

"Ja-" Michel's attempt to find out what was happening was cut off by Samantha grabbing his collar and pulling him close.

"Shut up and kiss me dammit." Samantha demanded. Michel blinked once, then obliged her.

Jaxith took a deep breath and picked his way across the dance floor to speak to Edward. This process took the better part of an hour as Jaxith had to dance with several girls, chat with a few boys, and shove his way through the horde of girls wanting Edward's dances on the way. When he finally reached his goal Edward looked about half dead. His clothes were rumpled, his hair was almost slipping out of his tie, and he was covered in a visible layer of sweat.

"You look like shit." Jaxith observed.

"…Help…." Edward managed in a small, horse voice. Jaxith walked up to him and glared at the nearest girl.

"I'm going to go have a man-to-man talk with my buddy here, have a good day!" Jaxith was full of icy rage. The girls quickly parted while Jaxith all but carried Edward off the floor to the nearest table.

"Thank you." Edward managed between pants.

"Stay here, I'll get you some water." Jaxith rushed over to the bar to do just that, while keeping a careful eye on his boyfriend. He took a breath of relief when Alphonse walked over and sat down next to his brother. Jaxith returned at a more leisurely speed.

"Those girls are crazy!" Edward muttered. Alphonse nodded, agreeing with his irritated and agitated brother.

"Here." Jaxith handed Edward the glass of water. Edward gave him a grateful look, then proceeded to drink the entire thing. Jaxith smiled softly and sat next to Edward. He timidly reached over and began to rub Edward's back, making the older of the two moan loudly in content.

"Wow, I've never seen brother so relaxed…." Alphonse stared in awe.

"That's because Edward has never had one of the traditional Skibbereen back rubs." Jaxith grinned as he continued to knead out all the knots in Edward's back.

"Now- **ah!** -there's a t-tr-traditon! I don't- a little more left -mind!" Edward commented, his face set in an expression of ecstasy.

"We Skibbereens don't have much in the way of traditions," Jaxith admitted, "the Mustangs have a lot more."

"Mustang family traditions?" Alphonse cocked his head.

"Yes, like this tradition of coming back at the most inopportune time to remind everyone present that they have to leave." Roy cut into the conversation, sounding almost annoyed.

"You've got to be kidding me." Jaxith hung his head in defeat.

"Jaxith?" Edward asked, noticing the hands stopping.

"Can we stay a little longer?" Jaxith asked his great-uncle.

"What for?" Roy inquired, raising an eyebrow. "It's pretty late."

"…I wanted to dance with Edward once before I left." Jaxith explained in a small voice. It wasn't loud enough for anyone but Edward to hear. The subject turned around and looked at Jaxith, who was blushing madly, and Edward's curious expression softened into one of understanding.

"What was that?" Roy asked.

"He just wants to have the Last Dance." Samantha explained as she and Michel walked over, holding hands. Havoc was trailing wearily behind them, keeping an eye on Jaxith at all times.

"Oh!" Roy's eyes widened in understanding. He understood the importance of a Last Dance. Because of its nature being the last one, it was the one you're most likely going to remember the next morning. Also it's the dance that signals the closure for the evening. And in the West especially, it was specifically reserved for your date.

"Can I?" Jaxith asked, using his puppy eyes.

"Yes, of course." Roy answered quickly, looking a bit embarrassed.

"What are you-" Edward was about to ask about the significance of a Last Dance when Jaxith's gentile finger on his lips silenced the alchemist. Jaxith removed the finger with an amused smile. He then bowered gracefully.

"May I have this dance?" Jaxith asked, his dark eyes sparkling with delight.

Edward considered refusing; his foot hurt and his automail leg was acting up a little. His back was partially unknotted, which was a very awkward state to be in. But Edward wasn't _completely_ inept socially, nor was he unobservant. He knew the Last Dance was important and that Jaxith had asked for extra time just for it.

"Only if you massage my foot." Edward answered, deciding he might as well get something out of it.

"Deal." Jaxith stood up straight with a small laugh, amused by Edward's answer.

"Samantha D.," Michel began, "can I have this dance?"

"Yes." Samantha let out a sigh of relief, having been waiting for this all night.

"Alphonse, don't you have someone to dance with?" Roy asked, having assumed that Alphonse would have picked up a girl at the dance suitable for the Last Dance.

"Err-" Alphonse began.

"Can I have this Last Dance?" The blond girl who had spent the entire evening at a table with a paper approached Alphonse. "I mean I hadn't been able to dance all evening because my dumb teacher decided they wanted to assign this goddamn essay."

"Why'd you come?" Michel wondered.

"I came because I really wanted to dance with someone else." The girl admitted. "I'm a social retard, okay?"

"Sure, I'll dance with you." Alphonse "smiled". He had taken pity on the girl.

"Thanks, you're a really nice person." The girl smiled broadly, very happy. Alphonse held out his arm for her like a gentleman would.

"Er, could you show me how to put my arms on your arm properly?" The girl asked, embarrassed. Alphonse chuckled, and using the large bit of patience usually reserved for dealing with his older brother, he showed her how.

"Looks like Alphonse has got his hands full with that one." Havoc remarked offhandedly.

"Here." Jaxith offered Edward his arm, who just glared back.

"Are you saying I'm a girl?" Edward growled.

"You're tired; I'm trying to save face?" Jaxith prompted back, being logical.

"I'm not taking it." Edward pouted.

"Then offer me one." Jaxith rolled his eyes. He got an automail arm shoved up in his face.

"Edward you could try not to be rude about it." Roy sighed, exasperated.

"Whatever." Edward retorted while Jaxith took his arm.

"Thank you so much Ed." Jaxith was sincere, his smile and eyes practically glowing with appreciation.

"It's nothing." Edward smiled back, leading Jaxith to the dance floor. Wordlessly Michel offered Samantha his arm, who took it.

"After this one, we'll be ready to go." Michel informed Havoc as he left.

"Well boss, I'm off to take pictures." Havoc gave Roy a partial salute and left. Roy sat down in one of the chairs and watched. Edward was smiling and Jaxith was positively glowing, which made Roy's expression soften. Edward was undoubtedly the cause of Jaxith's brilliance; Roy was thankful he didn't try and stand in the way of that. Alphonse seemed to be interested in what the blond girl was telling him, but for Roy it was hard to tell because he didn't quite know all the subtleties of Alphonse's body posture. A satisfied smile grew on Roy's lips; all of his charges were doing well.

With a small cough, the singer of the band got the attention of everyone on the dance floor. He smiled warmly, announcing that this was the Last Dance. He then went on about the name of the song they picked and wished everyone there a good evening and good luck with getting a kiss. Without anything else to say, the singer nodded and the music started up. It was a slow dance, the kind that you romantically cuddle your partner rather than actually dancing.

Edward had never been more thankful for a slow dance in his life. He was tired, sore, and in moderate pain. He didn't have the strength to be swinging around a partner like he had at the beginning. Jaxith was equally relieved, as slow dances were not complicated and the last thing he wanted to do was add to Edward's abuse level for the day. Jaxith took a large, deep breath and pulled Edward in close.

"You're taller than me." Edward growled, not liking that.

"It doesn't matter," Jaxith assured him, "I know you're tried, why don't you lean against me?"

"I'm not weak." Edward gave him a flat look.

"No, but it's alright to rest sometimes, I'll keep you upright." Jaxith promised. Edward contemplated it for awhile until his foot gave him a particularly painful twinge, and then he swallowed his pride and set his chin on Jaxith's shoulder to rest it. Jaxith shifted his arms a little bit so that he could support Edward better. Soon Jaxith's chest was vibrating from his humming along with the music.

"Mom?" A tried, sleepy Edward asked, his eyes seeing Risembol, not the dance floor.

"I'm Jaxith, Edward," Jaxith reminded his tried friend by whispering softly in his ear, "don't worry, I'm here for you."

"Mmmk…." Edward nodded slightly, still feeling sleepy. Jaxith let his hands wander a bit, feeling Edward's well-toned, muscular body beneath the clothes. He breathed in Edward's scent, wheat and wildflowers with undertones of machine oil and heated metal. It didn't surprise Jaxith all that much; Edward was a country boy, of course he'd smell like the country and of the automail that was attached to his arm and leg. Jaxith decided he'd risk a feel of Edward's hair. It was silky and soft having been washed with rainwater on more than one occasion. On top of that Edward was a very warm person to touch.

"Jaxith, stop poking me." Edward whined.

"But I'm not-" Jaxith made a move to defend himself but was cut off.

"You are pocking me in the stomach." Edward reminded him. Jaxith glanced down, knowing full well it wasn't his hands that were causing the discomfort. Instead it was an entirely different piece of his anatomy that was causing the problem.

"…I'm sorry, I don't know how to make it go away." Jaxith was redder than a tomato. Edward pulled his head back and blinked a few time sleepily. His gaze then turned downward to examine the problem.

"…How'd you get it?" Edward asked dumbly, his powerful mind not quite working in its full capability when he wasn't awake.

"Umm…. You're just…really, really sexy." Jaxith admitted, nervously. At that time the song decided to reach a crescendo. As the melody started to climb, reaching its peak, several couples around them moved in and prepared themselves for a kiss. Jaxith began to pull Edward into a tighter spin.

"Jaxith?" Edward asked breathily, not understanding what was happening.

"It's almost time to kiss." Jaxith explained, his face still red and his hard-on starting to throb painfully.

"Wha-?" Edward was cut off when the music climaxed and Jaxith pulled him forward, closing the distance between their mouths. Edward let out a tiny, surprised squeak. Jaxith didn't really know how to kiss and it was obvious Edward didn't either. They both stood there with their lips against the other's trying to figure out what happened next. After a few moments Edward pulled away.

"Kissing isn't nearly as special as everyone makes it out to be." Jaxith sighed.

"I don't think we're doing it right." Edward observed the other couples around them who were enjoying themselves a lot more than Jaxith and Edward were.

"Maybe not, should we go ask Uncle Roy if he knows what to do?" Jaxith looked for confirmation that this was a good idea. Edward half considered not asking, but then he remembered the lovely shade of purple Roy had gotten the last time Edward asked him about sex.

"I think we should, actually." Edward nodded and made moves to leave. He was startled when Jaxith grabbed him and pulled him close and tight.

"Let's finish the dance first!" Jaxith wasn't meeting Edward's gaze, his embarrassment clear.

"Jax-?" Edward was cut off when he got pocked in the stomach again. "-you still have that?"

"…Yes." Jaxith managed in a small, embarrassed voice.

First time lovers are awkward ones….

1- Tonic water is basically carbonated water. Lemon and lime are two fruits that's juices are squeezed in. Basically it's the 1910s version of a Sprite or 7-Up.

Just so you know, I'm going to be at Sakura Con '08 this year. I will be bringing Jaxith-plushie with me, should you want to meet him! You are welcome to meet up with me. If you want to meet me, send me a PM, tell me so in a review, or send an e-mail to the address on my profile. Also, please let me know what you think of the romance scene in a review anyways!


	40. Of Pigs and Armor

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: For the most part I don't own it.

Recap: Everyone got their 'perfect' Last Dances. And Jaxith got an awkward problem with his.

Other Stuff: I am going to point out that Jaxith is a hormonal 14 year old boy. Thank you for listening. Should you have gone to Sakura Con, I was dressed as Sven from Black Cat on Friday and Agatha from Girl Genius (web comic) on Saturday. I wasn't there very long on Sunday, so don't worry about it. Pictures of the incomplete costumes can be found on my DeviantART page. Just click on any of the fanart links on my profile- my DA name is Lunaros-Valkiri. New term started, not sure what the course work load will be this time.

There is more fanart coming to my profile soon!

And I have a sneak peek preview picture for those who can guess which insert was me. This is a picture of things in the sequel. It shows one of the characters you already know and a new one. There are no spoilers in the picture, but I am willing to explain the significance of the symbol in the picture (which _is_ a spoiler) if anyone wants it. Oh, and to help, I appeared at some point in chapters 36-58.

Previously:

_"Jax-?" Edward was cut off when he got pocked in the stomach again. "-you still have that?"_

_"…Yes." Jaxith managed in a small, embarrassed voice._

Chapter 39: Of Pigs and Armor

In hindsight, it was a miracle that Jaxith and Edward got off the dance floor without anyone noticing Jaxith's "problem". It was even more amazing when Jaxith managed to make it to the car without his great-uncle actually noticing. Of course, that was when Jaxith ran out of miracles.

"Jaxith, is there something wrong with your pants?" Alphonse asked, having noticed a strange bulge in them that was not there previously. Roy glanced in the rearview mirror to watch Jaxith flush a new shade of scarlet. Roy's eyes went wide with realization of what was happening.

**"**_**Are you trying to get us killed!?**_**"** Edward yelled after Roy nearly wrecked the car. Roy didn't retort to that and focused on driving.

Thankfully for Jaxith, Alphonse's question was quickly forgotten as the car lapsed into silence. Jaxith kept his mouth clamped shut as he tried not to hiss and moan. Every time there was a bump or Roy took a turn, the car was jostled enough for Jaxith to have his legs bang into his sensitive problem- which made the entire car trip home extremely unpleasant, to say the least.

Alphonse and Edward quickly exited the car when Roy pulled up to the dorms. Edward looked as though he was going to collapse, and Alphonse nothing but concerned for his brother. Jaxith decided to stay in the car.

"Ah!" Edward exclaimed as his automail finally decided to give up. Alphonse caught him before he could hit the floor. Jaxith's problem thankfully went away when his worry got the best of him and sent him flying out of the car. Roy hadn't even opened his car door in the time this had happened.

"…You'll be staying at my place tonight." Roy informed the Elrics. "Alphonse, Jaxith, get him back into the car."

"I don't need to-!" Edward protested finding some energy to wiggle.

"Come on, you get your foot massage this way." Jaxith gave Edward a small smile. The alchemist huffed in response.

**-Break-**

Jaxith and Roy found themselves polishing Alphonse while Edward was in the bath. It had been the only way they could convince Edward to part from his brother.

"I can't say I've ever done something like this before." Jaxith admitted as he oiled Alphonse's elbow joint.

"I can." Roy admitted. The curious stares from Alphonse and Jaxith forced him to continue on. "Pa had me wash the pigs."

"Why would you want to wash a pig?" Jaxith raised an eyebrow. "They're dirty by nature, aren't they?"

"Pa likes a clean pig." Roy shook his head. "And clean chickens, but that wasn't my chore."

"How do you clean a _chicken_?" Alphonse wondered.

"I don't know." Roy looked thoughtful. "It was Cindy's job."

"Gran washed chickens?" Jaxith stared.

"She probably still does if pa has any say about it." Roy chuckled in amusement.

"…Wait, are you calling me a pig?" Alphonse had a specific tone about his voice that reminded Roy of Edward right before he began a rant.

"No!" Roy answered quickly. "What I meant was that the feel of this grease on my hands felt a lot like the grime on the pigs!"

"Oh. Well, then." Alphonse nodded in understanding. Roy took a moment to have a small breath of relief.

"Where the hell are your towels!?" Edward shouted from down the hall.

"I'll deal with that, you two finish up." Roy instructed as he dashed to the bathroom.

"So Edward does this all by himself?" Jaxith asked casually, trying to start up another conversation.

"Usually yes." Alphonse explained. "He's pretty good at it."

"Does he do his own automail?" Jaxith asked.

"Yup, even though he's rough on it the rest of the time." Alphonse sighed. "I can't count how many times he's broken it and got Winry mad."

"How long have you two known Winry?" Jaxith asked as he stood up and finished polishing Alphonse's head.

"Since before I was born." Alphonse laughed. "I think brother was four months old when he 'met' Winry. She was only a couple of weeks old at the time."

"You're lucky to have a friend that goes that far back!" Jaxith exclaimed.

"What's it like in Clayston?" Alphonse asked, his curiosity clearer than his words.

"Well, it's a decent sized town. Everyone there knows everyone else; we're all family and all." Jaxith explained. "It's really flat there, except for the hill with the forest on the west end of town. The Big House is on the east end, so you can get a good view of it out the front porch."

"Do you live in the Big House?" Alphonse wondered.

"Nope, I'm not a Mustang." Jaxith was quick to explain. "Gran lives there though. During the year I spend at least one night over there helping clean."

"How big is the Big House?" Alphonse was full of questions.

"It's as big as the State Hotel." (1) Roy answered as he returned, wiping the grease off his hands.

"Really!? How do your parents afford it!?" Alphonse gasped.

"They own most of the fields behind it." Roy explained. "And though it is technically my father's, his brothers live there, along with my sisters."

"Everyone who lives in the Big House has to help with the upkeep." Jaxith explained.

"And there's a lot of cheap labor lying around." Roy chuckled. "In the form of grandchildren, of course."

"Ah." Alphonse nodded. "I would like to visit it sometime."

"After you get your body back." Roy assured the boy, who looked a little distraught. "What are we going to say when they try to feed you?"

"Oh." Alphonse remembered how Westerners believed being a good host involved feeding your guests too much food.

**"Help!"** Edward cried from the bathroom.

"Could you-?" Alphonse asked, being unable to help as his oil was still drying.

"Yes." Roy nodded and dashed back. A couple of minutes later Roy returned carrying Edward, who was swimming in an overly large green bathrobe.

"That doesn't fit." Jaxith observed.

"It's the bastard's." Edward glared at Roy.

"And here I thought you wanted a foot massage." Roy looked mock-hurt.

"Let me wash my hands!" Jaxith ran past the two to do just that. Roy set Edward down on the couch. He proceeded to attempt to have a look at the automail, only to get a flesh foot in his face an annoyed hiss.

"Brother!" Alphonse was exasperated.

"Don't touch it!" Edward growled.

"I was only trying to help." Roy was defensive, but he yielded and moved away from the angry alchemist.

"Colonel, automail is really sensitive, you could do Brother a lot more harm than good if you don't know what you are doing." Alphonse explained quickly.

"It's connected to my _nerves_." Edward reminded Roy.

"Alright, but you should have it looked at." Roy advised Edward.

"I know, I know!" Edward rolled his eyes. Jaxith returned.

"Time for a foot massage!" Jaxith announced and all but pounced on Edward's foot. He then began to knead all the tension and distress out of the foot. As a result Edward made a series of content moans and squeaks as his aching foot was reduced to a pile of pleased mush. Jaxith worked up the leg a little, to assure no tension was coming back soon. Normally Jaxith would go up past the knee, but right now it didn't seem like a good idea. Without thinking or realizing it, Jaxith began to work on the automail foot. Edward's eyes shot open and he sat up quickly in surprise, but not pain.

"Jaxith, it's metal." Edward reminded him, wiggling his metal toes to prove a point.

"But it _is_ getting easier to move." Jaxith argued. Edward didn't have a defense; the foot was easier to move now after all. After a few more minutes Jaxith got up and finished Edward's back. To no one's surprise Edward fell asleep during the process.

"Where is he sleeping?" Alphonse asked Roy.

"My bed." Roy was quick to answer before Jaxith could offer his. "Come on, help me move him."

To this day Edward still wonders how he woke up in Roy's room, as everyone present neglected to tell him what had passed.

**-Break-**

Alphonse and Edward had left before Jaxith woke, much to the boy's disappointment. He let out a loud sigh to share this with the world.

"We need to talk about last night." Roy announced, slipping his coffee.

"About your lack of driving skills?" Jaxith smirked, trying to get a rise out of his great-uncle.

"You realize that tricks _I_ taught you don't work on me?" Roy raised an eyebrow. "It's perfectly fine to get excited from time to time, but it is not okay do to that in a public setting."

"It's not like I planned that!" Jaxith blushed and turned his head to the side.

"Which is why you should start thinking of dead puppies and other horrible things should it happen again in an inappropriate place." Roy advised his great-nephew. "I presume you are taking Edward with you to the Hallows Eve Festival?"

"Of course." Jaxith moved to say more when the phone rang. Roy set down his coffee and answered it.

"Roy Mustang speaking." Roy answered in a professional, and slightly militaristic, way. "You don't want him doing what? …. Of course, I'll make sure he's out of trouble! …. Alright, can he attend the candy hunt at Headquarters? …. Yes! I'm not an idiot! …. Sure thing. Have a good day Mary."

"Was that ma?" Jaxith asked.

"Yes, she wants to make sure you are safe during Hallows Eve." Roy rolled his eyes. "She doesn't want you in the parade."

"What!?" Jaxith had been looking forward to the parade. They didn't have anything remotely close in Clayston.

"Instead you can dress up in a costume and wander around Headquarters asking for candy." Roy explained. "Since that's 'safer'." Jaxith rolled his eyes and snorted.

"I guess that's okay." Jaxith sounded just a like any other teenager that has been denied something of particular interest and importance to them.

"We'll figure out something else fun okay?" Roy assured the boy. "I don't really like the parade much myself."

"But you get to see it!" Jaxith protested.

"And stand on my feet for hours making sure no one causes trouble." Roy sighed. "It's a really boring job." Jaxith nodded.

After a few moments a look of realization crossed Roy's face.

"Besides Jaxith, your mother said absolutely nothing about what you're dressed up as…."

Both shared large, mischievous smirks.

--

I blame Sakura Con for messing up with my update schedule.

1- The State Hotel is the military-owned hotel close to Headquarters where Roy's family stayed while they were in town and where Edward puts himself, Alphonse, and Winry up in the manga.

Don't forget to review or participate in my little contest (see top for details)!


	41. Turning Point

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: There is no reason to sue me, I assure you.

Recap: There was a lot of talk about Clayston, chores, and Hallows Eve Festival plans….

Other Stuff: Identify the author contest! Find the insert that is the author in chapters 36-38 and win a picture! A picture of a character from the sequel and a future version of one of the characters you already know! No spoilers in the picture.

…I have reached 40 chapters. Wow….

Previously:

_"Besides Jaxith, your mother said absolutely nothing about what your dressed up as…."_

_Both shared large, mischievous smirks._

Chapter 40: Turning Point

It was Monday morning in the office of Colonel Roy Mustang. The members of said office were sitting around their commanding officer's chair. They huddled together, their whispers intense and animated. If you could sneak close enough to these frantic, almost paranoid people, then you would know that they were talking about the strange happenings within their country, particularly the military they were a part of.

Everyone was wearing a concerned frown along with their uniform.

"Sheska has some suspicions about the Fuhrer's Secretary." Fuery explained, having got that bit of gossip at the source.

"Fullmetal has also expressed unease around her," Roy added with a nod, "non-verbal but the signs are there all the same."

"And I think the chief's intuition speaks for itself as always." Havoc made sure his comrades agreed. It was true, Edward Elric had an amazing intuition; it was a pity he hardly ever used it.

"Archer has been doing things off the books a lot frequently." Falman added. "I'm not close enough to him to get a good look, but I'm sure it doesn't mean well."

"No I would think not, knowing Archer." Roy pinched the bridge of his nose. "He also seems to be getting chummy with the Fuhrer, too chummy for an officer of his rank and standing."

"Ed doesn't like the guy either." Havoc pitched in.

"What we need here is someone on the inside to gather intelligence for us." Breda, the tactician, advised.

"I can't do it." Falman raised his hand as if to protect himself from the looks coming from his comrades. "I'm already very much your subordinate, Colonel, they don't trust me."

"That is true, and it's not like we can afford to go through someone else to gather this intelligence." Roy sighed, frustrated.

"It can't be helped sir." Hawkeye assured him. "None of _us_ are going to get into Archer's inner circle."

"What are you implying, Lieutenant?" Roy asked her, meeting her gaze.

"Archer has already expressed a desire to work with Jaxith, why not let him?" Hawkeye smiled slightly.

"Jaxith!?" Roy's eyes widened in surprise. He paused and thought about it for a long moment. "It could work…." He didn't sound confident.

"Colonel sir, personally I think Jaxith is an excellent choice. He sees things that others do not." Falman argued. "He's also young and 'innocent' which makes him less threatening."

"That is true." Roy sounded nervous.

"What's the matter?" Havoc inquired when he realized the nervousness on the part of the colonel was not due to sending Jaxith into Archer's paws.

"…I'm the one that has to persuade the _lawyer_ to let his son do this." Roy confessed.

"Good luck with that!" Fuery wished him sincerely, earning snickers from his comrades.

"Eh?"

**-Break-**

After a long discussion with Breda, it was decided Roy was not going to be the one to convince Atticus to let Jaxith join the military; Jaxith would instead. Roy's job was to convince Jaxith that the boy wanted to join the military. To have a better place for discussion, Roy decided to pick his great-nephew up himself.

**-Break-**

When Jaxith had arrived at school that Monday morning, he discovered that Edward had become quite the celebrity. Jaxith was plagued with questions ranging from "what's his phone number?" to "was he really the Fullmetal Alchemist?" to "so, did you screw him or not?". Jaxith flushed and sputtered under the barrage of questions, choosing not to answer any. He ran down the halls, eventually arriving at the sanctuary that was Euclid's classroom.

Euclid looked up from his causal reading book with a raised eyebrow.(1) His eyes assessed Jaxith's ruffled appearance up and down.

"Got mobbed by the gossips?" It wasn't really a question; it was more of a statement.

"Yes." Jaxith all but threw himself into his seat. "I don't think I'm going to take Edward anywhere again if that's what'll happen."

Several girls rushed into the classroom and made moves to confront Jaxith with more questions. The snapping sound of a book being shut stopped them from getting very far in.

"This is a classroom. If you are not in here to learn calculus, I would recommend leaving." Euclid informed the girls. "I, personally, have very little tolerance for horseplay in my classroom."

"Sorry sir, please excuse us." One of the girls towards the front apologized, bowed and led the others out. Jaxith breathed a sigh of relief.

"Oh and Jaxith," Euclid caught the boy's attention again, "Al's going to rake you for answers in chemistry."

"Surely you're joking!" Jaxith gasped, mortified.

"No, Al is gay and very interested in alchemy, he'll want answers." Euclid explained. "I just thought you needed some warning."

"Today is going to _suck_." Jaxith moaned, banging his head on the table.

"It will only suck as much as you let it." Euclid advised him. "If you decide that today will be an okay day for you, then that is what it will be."

"That sounds a little… abstract for you." Jaxith commented, amazed.

"I have studied abstract algebra and ring theory. Pretty useless for everyday things, but fun to do all the same!" Euclid smiled that smile lovers get when remembering something very precious about a significant other. Jaxith felt like gagging.

"Anyways, life, when it comes down to it, isn't all equations and numbers." Euclid went on. "There are things you can't describe with science or an equation. Not properly anyways."

"What do you mean?" Jaxith cocked his head to the side.

"Art." Euclid tapped Jaxith's doodle. "Art means nothing to science, yet it means something to everyone in this world. Emotions too! Science has yet to truly explain them either. And life itself can only be made through natural methods, any alchemist can tell you that. I don't think science has much hope for ever explaining these things."

"Did you get him off on a tangent again?" Samantha asked with a heavy sigh when she walked into the room.

"I've never seen him like this before." Jaxith pointed at Euclid who was now babbling to himself.

"Dad, mom said she needed you to stick to your elementary methods. And stay away from that book Avo got you." Samantha lectured her father with an ease that only came from practice.

"Alright." Euclid consented.

"So Jaxith, what are you doing for Hallows Eve?" Samantha asked him as she took her seat next to his.

"Secret!" Jaxith grinned back mischievously.

Euclid shook his head, knowing nothing good was going to come of this.

**-Break-**

Jaxith was standing in front of his chemistry class with all the eyes focused on him. It took everything Jaxith had in him to keep from passing out.

"So, Skibbe, who was that boy at the dance?" Avogadro asked while making a small, slow circle around Jaxith.

Jaxith shook nervously in response. His face paled and his eyes grow fearful. Jaxith realized if he passed out he'd get to skip the interrogation.

"Al sir, Jaxith has serious stage fight." Michel called out, hoping to rescue his friend. "He looks like he's about to puke on us."

Jaxith now felt extremely nauseous on top of everything else.

"Oh, well Skibbe, we'll continue this discussion in my office." Avogadro met the boy's eye with a penetrating glare. "Alright, the rest of you open your texts to page 234, we'll be discussing acid-base reactions today."

Avogadro paused while his eyes scanned the classroom. "Say, Calu, why don't you stop playing footsie and tell the class what we learned about redox reactions?"

Jaxith returned to his seat with a long sigh. At least the rest of the class was going to be normal.

**-Break-**

With excellent strategy and the help of Michel and Samantha, Jaxith was able to avoid gossipers throughout the rest of his school day. Euclid, being a sucker for puppy eyes, agreed to stand guard over Jaxith while they waited for his ride to arrive.

It was watching his calculus teacher stand guard over him that made the fact that Euclid was ex-military really stick in. His posture was that of a solider at attention and ready for action. The math book under Euclid's arm wasn't a math book any longer; it was transformed into a weapon. And the expression on his face also matched his posture; an expression of a tired, yet determined solider. Jaxith just stared on in awe.

"Your ride's here." Euclid observed, his eyes following the military issued vehicle making its way into the drive in front of the school. Jaxith nodded, shooting his calculus teacher one last look of thanks before he went on his way.

Jaxith stopped right before he got in, noticing that his great-uncle was driving.

"Uncle Roy?" Jaxith raised an eyebrow. His uncle had a serious, haggard look that soldiers assumed when under the strain of too much stress. "Is everything okay?"

"…Get in please." Roy managed after a few deep breaths. Jaxith noticed his great-uncle looked almost cornered and desperate. Without saying anything Jaxith slid into the car, shutting the door behind him. Wordlessly, Roy drove away from the school. Jaxith looked forward, not knowing what else to do.

"…The situation in this country is getting pretty bad." Roy began after a few minutes of silence. "There's a lot of corruption in the military, a lot of things going on off the books and behind backs."

"So it's worse than usual?" Jaxith frowned.

"Much worse." Roy admitted. "I'm being spread too thin trying to do what I can."

"Uncle?" Jaxith turned at looked at the man, concerned. "Did something happen?"

"…Nothing had happened." Roy shot Jaxith a glance. "But it is what is about to happen that I am afraid of."

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Jaxith asked. He wanted to help Edward and his great-uncle; well and the rest of the country too, but that just an added bonus.

"…I know your father isn't too keen on the idea, but I need you to take a job- watching Archer, specifically." Roy explained. "He's at the root of some of the mess that's happening."

"Ah." Jaxith nodded. "And you need to know if he's going to get in your way?"

"No," Roy shook his head, "we need to know what his agenda is, and if he needs to be 'erased'."

Jaxith gasped. "You're not seriously considering murdering a fellow officer!?"

"They murdered Hughes." Roy looked Jaxith right in the eye, showing him the dead piece of his soul.

"…Are you sure you're doing the right thing?" Jaxith asked after a while.

"Yes."

**-Break-**

"Pa?" Jaxith asked his father over the phone. "Great-uncle Roy needs my help."

"Why would he need that?" Atticus asked, his voice conveying his frown.

"…There's a lot of dark things building up around here. He doesn't have the resources to watch the situation as well as he once did." Jaxith explained.

"That doesn't surprise me, he did lose his pen after all." Atticus sounded wistful. "Yes, Jaxith, he probably does need your help. But why are you calling me about it?"

"…I need you to come down here and sign a consent form so I can enlist." Jaxith held his breath and waited for the lecture. It never came.

"He wants you to watch that Archer fellow? Not too surprising, there, the man was bad news." Atticus sounded approving. "I'll be there in two weeks."

"Thanks, pa." Jaxith smiled.

"Just between you and me, you're not the only one your great-uncle is using as his eyes and ears." Atticus told his son cryptically and hung up the phone. Jaxith started at the phone for a minute then hung it up. He walked out into the office were all the soldiers were waiting.

"Pa said he'll be here in two weeks." Jaxith informed them.

"Good." Roy nodded, relieved. "Breda, Falman, I want you two to start teaching Jaxith military code."

"Sir!"

"Wait, what!?" Jaxith gasped.

--

Sorry it's a little short and late. New term started, things have been chaotic. I'll try for once a week updates.

1- 'Math and You' by Aristotle Daniel Urn Devon Elk, or by his initials, ADUDE. This book applies math and mathematical philosophy to everyday life. It was a present from Avogadro to Euclid as a joke. Unfortunately for the rest of the world, Euclid took it seriously. (There is a picture of Euclid reading on my deviant art page, see the 'homepage' link on my profile.)

We're starting to wind up for the story's end. If I'm lucky, we'll be done and wrapped up in under 60 chapters. And I thought I was only writing 20 or so at the beginning of the story…. Goes to show what I know. Please drop a review!


	42. Craking Code

**A Pen or a Sword?**

**By: Bar-Ohki**

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA and some of the OCs featured in chapters 36-38.

Recap: Jaxith is now learning code in preparation for his new job: spying on Archer.

Other Stuff: Here are the winners of the "find the author" contest I was holding:

The Lava Alchemist, Phantom SunSong, and EdElricRules.

As soon as I figure out your e-mails, I will be sending you copies of the black and white version. I am currently coloring it, so no worries there. It should be in your possession by the end of the month.

Previously:

_"Sir!"_

_"What!?" Jaxith gasped._

Chapter 41: Code Cracking

"I hear a little bit of talent is coming into your possession." The Fuhrer remarked to Archer when he entered the latter's office.

"Oh yes, that young Skibbereen is coming to work for me." Archer smiled. "I have very… big plans for him."

"As long as those plans don't include sexual favors, you are welcome to do what you will, Archer." The Fuhrer went on to say, and Archer stared at him in disbelief. "Master has expressed some interest in using the boy, so do keep him _safe._" The way Bradley said the word "safe" told of the fact that the word held significant meaning.

"What are you implying?" Archer sounded indignant. "Do you deem me incompetent?"

"It's not that Archer, it's the boy himself I am worried about." Bradley casually explained. "He's extremely intelligent and close to Mustang, you'd best be weary."

"I understand the boy is not without risks." Archer pointed out. "Which is why I'm keeping him on normal work and out of my side work until I know he can be fully trusted."

"Good to hear my worries were needless." Bradley smiled on his way out. "Do make sure they stay that way."

"Of course sir!" Archer saluted the man as he left.

**-Break-**

"I have a headache!" Jaxith whined as threw his book into the air in a display of childish anger.

"Please stop throwing my books." Falman asked Jaxith politely, deftly catching the airborne tome as if he wasn't doing anything else.

"I don't want to learn this 'code' crap!" Jaxith's head hit the desk with an audible thumping sound. "Owie…."

"Could've told ya that was dumb." Breda muttered, partly amused by Jaxith's theatrics.

"Why am I doing this anyways?" Jaxith moaned. "I already have enough shit I'm trying to cram in my head at school…."

"You're learning code so you can tell us what is going on without it being noticeable." Breda informed him. "What you are doing is spying and we can't afford to have you get caught."

"…Still…." Jaxith sighed. "This isn't easy stuff and you're rushing it."

"Damn right we are!" Breda exclaimed. "We only have two weeks to get you ready."

"It'll take pa some time to get the paperwork and logistics done!" Jaxith snorted. "This is a bureaucracy!"

"Not when the Fuhrer's involved." Falman shook his head. "He was with Edward, you're no exception."

"Why would the Fuhrer be involved?" Jaxith frowned.

"You're underage." Breda pointed out. "Normally employing you would be illegal."

"…Oh."

"Now that you're done resting your mind, I want you to finish reciting page 126 to me." Falman handed Jaxith back the book.

"_I hate you all!_" Jaxith hissed.

"I know that's not what it says, suck it up and read it boy." Breda ordered lazily.

"…'Lucy was wearing a red dress'." Jaxith read.

"And what does 'Lucy' symbolize?" Falman asked.

"Trouble. _Big_ trouble." Jaxith answered after a long pause, and several amusing facial features that people only express when concentrating very hard.

"And what does 'red' refer to?" Breda quizzed him.

"Myself." Jaxith answered quickly.

"And the dress?" Falman asked within a millisecond after Jaxith finished answering.

"…Well she was _wearing_ it, as opposed to buying it, or wanting it, borrowing it, ruining it, or selling it…. So that means that I need to… disappear?"

"No, it means that the color's corresponding person has been caught." Falman corrected.

" 'Lucy was wearing a red dress' translates as 'Jaxith got caught and is in big time trouble'." Breda explained.

"Now, what color was Edward?" Breda quizzed, smirking as Jaxith made a noise not unlike one a dying cat would make in displeasure.

"He was gray." Jaxith answered, rubbing his temple.

"No, he was blue." Falman corrected him with a stony face, making Jaxith gasp with mortification.

"Seriously, keep doing it and the kid's gonna break." Breda admonished his partner. "No worries, you got it right."

"…I'm going to die!" Jaxith realized after a moment.

"Naw, it'll nearly kill ya!" Breda assured him.

Jaxith's head hit the table again with a resounding crack.

"Owie…."

**-Break-**

"…Fullmetal." Roy addressed his youngest subordinate in a sad attempt to break the awkward silence. The two were currently situated in Edward's dorm room. Roy had chosen to walk in unannounced in the middle of the day. Edward, despite being a genius, was still a lazy teenager and had chosen to get out of bed but a couple of minutes before Roy decided to barge in. The timing of the two events resulted in Roy walking in just as Edward pulled off his dirty boxers.

"Get out." Edward growled, sounding and looking every bit as hostile as a feral animal. Roy simply took two steps backward and shut the door behind him.

A couple of minutes passed. Roy spent them standing out in the hall awkwardly, staring at the door and trying desperately to appear nonchalant. Despite his efforts, two passing by soldiers remarked about how "uncool" the Colonel looked nonetheless. Roy couldn't disagree with them, much to his own shame.

Edward opened the door a few minutes later, looking angrier than he had before.

"What. Do. You. Want?" Edward annunciated clearly, the acidic words burning a hole right into Roy's soul.

Of course, Roy finding the young alchemist's wrath truly intimidating for once in his life, had nothing to say for a minute.

"…I need you to help with Jaxith's mission." Roy confessed after a long moment. Edward's anger calmed a little at the mention of his boyfriend.

"Since when were you giving Jaxith missions?" Edward asked with a passing glare that could peel paint off cars. Roy then realized just how much a "little" was around Edward.

"He's doing this of his own free will!" Roy decided that saving his own hide was the most important thing he could do at the moment.

"…What is he doing?" Edward didn't look all that convinced.

"Ahem. Why don't we discuss this over lunch? I'll buy." Roy internally mourned the loss of money in his wallet.

"Hm. Alright." Edward consented that the dorm hallway was probably not a good place to be discussing Roy's secret plans. "Can I pick the place?"

"No." Roy answered quickly, knowing full well Edward would be picking something expensive if left to his own devices. "Besides, it's not like I haven't seen that before."

"Unless you want me going around spreading rumors about you being a pedophile-" Edward was quickly cut off.

"Quit being a child Fullmetal, and just follow me." Roy didn't want to hear the end of that sentence. The serious look he gave Edward was thankfully enough to halt any further pursuing of that conversation.

**-Break-**

"So you are using Jaxith as your eyes and ears in Investigations, hmm?" Edward summarized after he had had his fill of food from Roy's wallet.

"Yes." Roy confirmed. "Jaxith is aware of this. And he's also aware of the dangers it puts him in."

"So how does this pertain to me?" Edward asked, knowing that Roy obviously had a reason for telling him all this.

"For one thing, he's _your_ boyfriend, you should know." Roy rolled his eyes mentally at the thought. "Another thing is that you may be on the receiving end of some of his communications. I need you to know and learn code as-" Edward cut him off.

"Did you know that baking soda can be used to help the yeast raise the bread?" Edward asked Roy.

"What the hell does that have to-!?" Roy demanded, finding himself interrupted.

"Baking soda refers to humans, yeast means ingredient, and bread, being the thing you are trying to make, is referring to the Philosopher's Stone." Edward explained, deadly serious. "It's part of the Crystal Alchemist, Tim Marco's code."

"The code of-" The sudden introduction of Marco's code stunned Roy temporarily.

"Just give me a list of translations and I'll have it memorized in a day." Edward smugly chuckled after a moment. "Or would you like to use _my_ code?"

"Jaxith may be interested in that." Roy remarked after a while. "I think you should go with drinking with Breda tonight."

"…I get it." Edward nodded. "Though you could just tell me right now."

"Edward," Roy gave the boy a flat look, "I still have to work today."

"It's not like you're actually wanting to do it." Edward chuckled.

"No, but Jaxith does." Roy reminded Edward.

"…Right."

**-Break-**

Learning code was stressing Jaxith out. It showed up at school in his now short temper, dropping grades, and also in his drawing.

This development did not amuse Euclid in the slightest.

"Jaxith Skibbereen!" The calculus teacher snapped, both verbally and physically (his chalk having broken in half when he threw it at Jaxith's desk).

With a jerk, Jaxith was sitting up in straight in his chair, fully alert. This was dropped immediately when he realized that he was not in Mrs. Celt's class.

"What is with your sarcasm today? I do not appreciate being referred to as a 'half-baked quack'." Euclid glared over the edge of his half-moon glasses.

"But you are one." Jaxith insisted.

"…Go down to the principal's office, I'll be following you shortly." Several students gasped. Euclid _never_ sent anyone to the principal's office. "Oh, and tell them to contact your uncle."

"He's at work!" Jaxith protested.

"I know." Euclid was dead serious. "_I know_."

**-Break-**

"Colonel sir," Hawkeye began, having just answered the phone, "there is a call for you from the outside."

"Did they mention where?" Roy inquired, not expecting a call from anyone today.

"The Flamel Academy, sir."

"Put them through." Roy picked up the receiver of the phone on his desk. After a few small clicks, signaling that he was getting connected, another voice came on the other end.

"Hello, Mr. Mustang." A male voice greeted him. Roy quickly identified the voice to belong to the principal's secretary.

"Hello, what did Jaxith do today?" Roy asked, sounding flat and methodical now that he was speaking with the man.

"I can't say that's a usual response I get." The man admitted.

"I gave the Academy explicit instructions to _not_ contact me at work unless the situation was dire." Roy answered.

"Euclid Derivative, our calculus teacher, insisted we call you he would not say why." The secretary explained.

"Put him on, then." Roy almost ordered the man.

"Mr, Mustang," Euclid greeted Roy after a moment, "what the hell are you doing to him?"

"Excuse me?" Roy asked.

"He's stressed out enough to be referring to me as a 'half-backed quack' without considering the consequences for that action. This is a recent development for him and it concerns me." Euclid was honest and frank with him.

"Thank you being concerned but I assure you the situation is under control." Roy decided to sweet talk the man.

"I'm a mathematics professor, no amount of smooth talk is going to dissuade me from the logic or the proof." Euclid conjured up that particular "teacher voice" that signaled that you were in trouble. "Jaxith is under continual stress, it is reflecting in his educational performance. I know it was not caused by a school-related event as there are no new stressors in his life there as far as I can tell. Therefore his new source of stress must be coming from home. You even confirmed this by trying to sweet talk me and being evasive."

"You would make an excellent investigator, you know." Roy sighed, remembering having a similar conversation with Hughes.

"I've had my share of time with the military." Euclid left it at that. "Now, either you fess up as to why he's stressed out, or tomorrow he comes to school well rested."

"…I'll make sure he's performing better tomorrow." Roy promised.

"Good, because I'll be starting my own investigations if you don't." Euclid promised him back and hung up.

--

Euclid certainly cares about his students doesn't he?


End file.
